Okay my dear,
We are once again awake when we'd rather be sleeping.
It's fine.
It's normal.
It can even be really good.
Countless other women through the centuries all over the world have been here.
Resilient,
Experienced,
Creative women just like you.
Parts of their strength and their brilliance have been forged here awake when the household is sleeping.
You are in good company.
You may be feeling anxious,
Worried,
Fearful,
Self-critical,
Or just annoyed.
For all of us,
The scariest thoughts come out at night.
But that doesn't mean that these thoughts are true.
Almost certainly,
They are not.
Or at least,
They are exaggerating.
Let's take care of your nervous system first by extending your exhales.
Breathe in for six counts and breathe out for eight counts.
In for two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
And out for two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six,
Seven,
Eight.
Keep going.
In for two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Exhale two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six,
Seven,
Eight.
The precise count isn't important,
Though counting as you breathe can be a useful way to settle your mind.
Next,
Continue breathing with full inhales and long,
Slow,
Extended exhales.
That breath pattern sends a signal to your nervous system that all is well.
As you breathe,
Scan your body for any areas of discomfort.
Your hips,
Legs,
Stomach,
Shoulders,
Jaw.
Feel free to shift positions,
Stretch,
Arrange pillows,
Or do what you need to to create greater ease.
You might want to get out of bed and sit,
Or you might stay where you are.
If discomfort remains,
Just let it be.
To the degree that you can,
And with gentleness towards yourself,
Drop your resistance to experiencing whatever sensations are present,
Knowing they will continue to change.
When we wake in the middle of the night,
Our minds tend to get stuck on fears,
What-ifs,
Health concerns,
Self-criticism,
Regrets,
To-do lists,
Creative projects that can't be and don't need to be solved right now.
These things always seem important in the middle of the night when we feel isolated and lose perspective,
And they always seem more manageable in the morning.
We've been here before.
We know this.
We know how to use this time to fret and feel terrible.
Let's try a different approach.
As women entering a new,
Rich,
And powerful phase of life,
We might choose to use this time to practice kindness towards ourselves.
We can explore these quiet hours,
This time of stillness,
With increasing trust.
It is here in the dark,
When women awake,
That we can sense the light within us.
Here is a chance for deep connection,
A chance to strengthen and affirm what our souls are learning as we level up to our years of wise leadership.
Here we can build our sense of being at home in the world.
This universe is vast,
And we are here.
We belong to all of its mystery.
We can meet ourselves here,
Welcome in and witness this spell of wakefulness,
And then let ourselves go back to sleep.
First,
Let's address fear.
If you are actively worried about something right now,
Scan your worries for action steps.
If there are things one can do that might reasonably help improve outcomes in the future,
Go ahead and write them down if that helps.
Then your mind can stop cycling through them.
If you're trying to make a decision,
Don't.
You're meant to sleep on a decision,
Not middle-of-the-night perseverate on a decision.
Any decision you make in the middle of the night is likely to be based in fear.
If you're ruminating about something from the past,
Try sending love and forgiveness to that younger version of you,
And to that younger version of everyone involved.
No need to analyze or judge,
Just for now.
Just to take care of yourself in this moment.
Try sending love back to what was,
And try letting things that have already happened be done.
They belong to the past.
If your concerns are about the future,
Know that we can't control what happens.
But experience has shown that we can handle the present moment.
We always have.
And we can meet each moment as it comes well enough.
Then,
Since we're not going to take further action in the middle of the night,
Let it all go.
Be gentle but firm with yourself on this one.
Out of love for yourself,
And because you deserve rest,
Put down the worries.
Entertaining them now only saps your power to be effective during the day.
The ability to shift your attention from fear to presence,
And from presence into grace,
Is wisdom itself.
It's challenging to do that here in the middle of the night by ourselves,
But this is how we get good at it.
Practice.
Bring your attention back to breathing.
If you like,
You can shift to a steady count.
Six counts breathing in,
Six counts breathing out.
Breathe as you imagine a sleeping person might.
That kind of breathing helps your mind steady itself into a more beneficial,
Meditative state.
Maybe you can feel your heart beating.
Pause to notice the absolute wonder.
The strange miracle of being a human being,
Alive.
A unique woman living a singular life.
Connected to all women throughout time,
But the only one who is just like this.
Maybe you can offer yourself love and appreciation for being your miraculous,
Unique self.
With attention inside your body,
See if you can feel for the still,
Steady place that is untouched by any passing storms of thought or sensation.
Maybe near the base of your spine,
Or the pit of your belly,
Or by your heart,
Or at the center of your head.
Maybe you can feel a kind of clarity,
A changelessness in one or all of those places.
You can always rest there.
Imagine inwardly curling up like a cat in a ray of sunshine,
Purring in that calm space.
And now,
Since we know thoughts will continue to mill around,
Let's give them a theme to work with.
That theme can be love.
What do you love?
What are you grateful for?
Let your mind wander through lists of things you enjoy.
Your comfy bed,
The stars,
Books,
Movies,
Music,
People,
Puppies,
A blue sky,
Feet in warm sand at the beach.
You can make it simple.
Just let your body accumulate the little bits of good feeling that come with thoughts of love and gratitude.
For as long as you are awake,
And while you might drift off back to sleep at any time,
Imagine the best possible,
Most beautiful things.
You have this time and can think whatever you want.
In this moment,
Your mind is free,
And you can choose beauty,
Love,
Delight,
And goodness without limit.
You can daydream at night.
Why not?
Morning will come,
And you will be okay.
Right now is yours,
And it is magic.
