Opening to the Opposite of Your Story

To be present is to let go of being right. This meditation helps you loosen the grip of the ego by seeing how the opposite of your story is at least as true.

Transcript

This meditation is on commitment 10 of the 15 commitments of conscious leadership.

The commitment to see that the opposite of your story is at least as true.

I'd like you to find a story that you do believe is true about another person.

A judgment that you hold about them.

Find a relationship that you would like to have be different than it is.

Could be a professional relationship or a personal relationship.

Bring this person into your mind's eye.

See them in front of you.

What is your judgment about them?

Perhaps you judge them as lazy or not being a good listener or being unkind.

Find your judgment about this person.

Perhaps you think they should have more money than they do.

Because they're spending more than you think they should.

Find your judgment.

Now ask yourself,

Is your judgment about this person true?

You will likely believe the answer is yes to this question.

That's why you brought it to your mind in the first place.

Now really ask yourself,

Can you absolutely know for sure that your judgment is true?

Check.

Can you?

Can you absolutely know for sure?

Bring that judgment clearly into your mind.

Believing that you're right about it.

What is it like in this now moment when you believe you're right about your judgment?

What emotions are here?

Is there any sadness?

Frustration or anger?

Is there any fear?

What happens in your body when you believe you're right about this judgment?

Can you feel the limitations of who you get to be when you hold this judgment?

Notice that some form of suffering is occurring as you believe you are right about your story.

Now imagine that your mind is a computer and that this judgment or story you have about this person is a software program.

And just for now we're going to pretend that you have the power to erase this software program out of the mind.

Let it go as if you just pushed the delete button.

And just for now be here without that thought.

There is no other thought that replaces it.

Simply that thought is gone.

What is it like here and now to be you without that judgment of that person?

You see them in your mind's eye doing whatever it is that they're doing.

But you no longer can find your judgment about it.

Relax your breath and experience what is here now without the thought,

Without the judgment.

If you notice yourself wanting to go back and be right about your judgment,

Simply accept that that's what wants to happen right now.

Don't make that wrong.

Try again and see if you'd be willing just for now to let go of the judgment knowing you can take it back here in a few minutes.

Being here without the thought.

You'll have an experience of a quality of being.

It might be peaceful or spacious or freeing.

Allow your breath to relax into whatever quality of being is here now.

Easy,

Pleasurable breathing into this experience.

See how much you can relax into whatever is occurring for you here without your judgment.

Perhaps another quality is arising.

Allow your breath to relax and surrender into this next quality.

If you notice yourself feeling scared,

Simply welcome the fear,

Not needing to make it wrong or change it.

And again,

You might want to bring to your mind this person doing whatever it is that they do that you have judged.

See them without your judgment.

What happens when you let go of your judgment in relationship to them?

You're recognizing that whatever it is that they do does not cause you pain or suffering.

It is your judgment about what they do that is the source of your disturbance.

Nothing out there causes you pain.

It is your interpretation of what is that takes you away from the peace of this now moment.

Now that you've let yourself have some space,

Let's look at your judgment again.

Let's turn it around.

Find a statement that represents the opposite of your judgment.

Perhaps you judged that they are not kind.

Turn it around.

You are not kind.

See how that statement of you are not kind is at least as true as they are not kind.

Can you see that in your making them wrong,

You are being unkind,

Attacking with your judgment toward them?

That's at least as true.

Can you find other ways perhaps where the opposite of your story is at least as true?

The value in seeing the opposite is that it gives more evidence to the ego that it's not right.

Take some time to see how the opposite of your judgment is at least as true.

Another way you could turn around the judgment that they are not kind is to say,

They are kind.

Can you find real evidence of how that statement is true?

There must certainly be examples of how they are kind.

Look for them.

Seeing that the opposite of your story is at least as true helps relax the ego from being able to stay righteous.

Remember that the goal is not to see that your original judgment is wrong.

That judgment is true and the opposite of the judgment is true.

That original judgment isn't true and the opposite of the judgment isn't true.

The goal is to recognize that our judgments are not true or untrue.

They are simply interpretations of the way we see the world around us.

Breathe in and out a breath of acceptance for the way you interpret and judge the world around you.

Remember that when you judge,

It's because some part of your identity believed that it was threatened.

Give yourself some loving acceptance for getting triggered.

And take another breath in and out of loving acceptance for those around you who also get caught being triggered,

Believing there is a threat and moving into judgment.

The next time you notice yourself judging,

Simply ask,

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know for sure that it's true?

Allow yourself to experience what it is like when you do believe your judgment.

Feel that there is some suffering when you are right.

And then,

Just like we can delete a software program from a computer,

Allow yourself some moments to delete out that judgment and allow yourself to experience the now moment without the judgment.

Relax into the gifts that are available there.

And then take the time to see how the opposite of your judgment is at least as true.

Take that time to learn whatever it is that you need to learn to grow and expand.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you.

Really helpful practice. Thank you.

Great awareness tool, just what I needed to learn 😊❤🙏

The insight that judgment is evidence that some part of my identity is threatened is very helpful.

Wow -- transformation on a Wednesday morning! I'll definitely be coming back to this one. It completely opened something up for me right before going back to a new situation at work.

This meditation gave me insight. And it turned something round, inside me. In a positive way. So very helpfull. Thank you 🙏

Food for thought, thank you x

Wow, incredible insight ~ powerful!

Brilliant. Thank you.

Exceptional! I truly experienced the spaciousness of letting go of my judgment.

Amazing and deep and tremendously helpful thank you so much for this. And we'll try to use this to open too many of my stories the opposite of them and gain the compassion and wisdom that's available from doing this exercise.

Very inspiring, I took a lot out of it.
If you can't change a situation change your view . 🙏

Yes..thank you..brilliant

Brilliant! Loving what it, so happy I found this meditation thank you

This pattern of thought is familiar to me...wonderful having it in the form of a meditation.

Wow. Very helpfl

I will definitely return to this meditation again and again. Her voice was soothing and her words really hit home for me. The meditation left me feeling lighter and relaxed and for me, that is a sign of a great guided meditation. blessings and Namasté, Lydia

Helpful if mentally 'stuck' in a fixed pattern.