Grief & Grieving

Conscious Leadership Group co-founder Jim Dethmer guides you through a process to welcome, explore, and fully move through grief. Take the time to be with what is, let go of what's passed, and open to what wants to become.

Transcript

Today's meditation is on grief.

Conscious leaders develop a healthy relationship with grief.

Grief is a natural and normal part of being human.

Grief is simply the experience of loss.

When leaders refuse to have a healthy relationship with grief,

Several things happen.

First,

They close off their heart.

Conscious leaders lead from their head,

Their heart,

And their gut.

Grief keeps us connected to our hearts.

Second,

When we don't grieve,

We don't create space for the new possibility.

We hold on to the old.

We don't let go.

So grief connects us to our heart and to the heart of others.

And grief creates the place of possibility.

For today's meditation,

It would be useful if you could think of something or someone in your life that you've lost or that you imagine you are losing.

This could be a friend,

A relative,

An animal that's precious to you.

It could be the loss of a dream or the loss of an opportunity.

It could be the loss of physical vitality as you age and grow older.

As we begin this meditation,

Simply allow to come into your consciousness something or someone that you have lost or that you imagine you are losing.

Now,

If you haven't already and you're able,

Allow your eyes to come closed.

Begin by just simply arriving in this now moment.

Allow the breath to get you here now by simply resting your attention on the inhale and the exhale.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Now as you arrive in this now moment,

Allow to come into your consciousness that which you have lost or you imagine you are losing.

If this is a sentient being,

Allow that person or that thing to show up with images and sounds and sensations.

And if this is the loss of an opportunity or the loss of a dream,

Allow whatever comes into your consciousness to show up when you think about that lost opportunity.

And at the beginning,

You just simply welcome all the images,

The pictures,

The sounds,

The sound of your voice,

Of their voice,

And the sensations that are arriving.

And as you allow these images and sounds and sensations,

Often they occur in the form of memories,

As you allow these memories to arrive and as you welcome them,

You might notice that a feeling state arrives along with them.

Often the feeling state that comes with grief is sadness,

Melancholy.

And that sadness can be mild or it can be quite strong,

It can be a broken,

Grief-stricken heart.

And as best you can,

Could you just allow whatever feeling is here to be here?

The feeling is occurring as sensations in the body.

It might be pressure in the chest or a closing in your throat.

It might be heat in the front of your face or pressure in your eyes.

Tears might be coming to your eyes and falling down your face.

And as best you can,

Could you just let that feeling be here?

And sometimes when we welcome loss,

Anger arises as well.

Sometimes the loss is still held to be unjust or unfair.

And as best you can,

Could you just welcome the anger,

Maybe even the resentment,

Find it in the body and just allow it to be here?

And maybe there's scare as well.

The fear that there'll never be another one just like that.

The fear of being alone.

The fear of not fulfilling your potential,

Your dreams,

Your purpose.

The fear of aging.

When we allow ourselves to feel our heart and to experience our loss,

Often there's sadness and fear and anger.

In this moment,

As best you can,

Could you just allow the sensations to be here in the body?

Soften and welcome them.

The natural tendency is to brace and to resist.

But in this moment,

Could you just let the body do what it does so well?

It naturally grieves if we let it.

And could you allow all the feelings?

So now as you're allowing the images and the sounds,

The memories to dance in consciousness,

And you're allowing the feelings and the body sensations to be as they are,

Could you just welcome it all?

And then often,

When we grieve,

It's useful to actually say goodbye.

Sometimes in our lives we didn't say goodbye.

We haven't really let it go.

So imagine holding this person in your heart.

Imagine holding this dream in the palm of your hand.

Imagine now just very gently letting them go.

Setting them free.

Letting it go,

Releasing it.

Even saying goodbye.

And what you're saying goodbye to is the memory.

This memory that so honors you and them and it.

And in this moment,

Can you just set it free?

And then having welcomed all occurrences related to this apparent loss,

Having set them free.

As best you can,

Could you just simply rest as that which is whole,

Perfect and complete,

Just as you are.

That which lacks nothing and needs nothing more than this now moment to be.

You can do this meditation over and over,

Sometimes on the same loss,

Until when you bring the person or the thing or the memory to mind.

There's simply peaceful gratitude,

Freedom and equanimity.

Now take a deep breath in appreciation for yourself and when you're ready,

Allow your eyes to come back open.

Reviews

Wonderful practical advice that helps me adjust and move towards acceptance of the loss which just occurred.

So healing and centering while experiencing grief. really needed this

Thank you. This help me greatly. I felt the stuck emotions shifting and releasing. I can tell I won't be dwelling in the waves of depression anymore. ❤️

Thank you. I have deep anxiety around loss and I don't cope very well when faced with changes or sudden death, even if the person was 95 like my grandma, which I lost Saturday afternoon. This helped a lot, since her funeral is in an hour and I can't be there. I got to see her and say goodbye. Thanks for helping me deal with my emotions and have my own ceremony for her alone.

So helpful. Saying good by was a powerful exercise. Thank you. 🙏

Today marked the first year of living with out our mom. It hurts as much today as it did holding her hand as she passed. I miss her deeply but she loves on in me..
I need your special meditation, and I thank you...

Thank you for that. I’ve never thought to say goodbye. 😭

This meditation was very helpful. It helped me start a beautiful conversation with my Mom who just passed away last week.

This was really helpful in processing the loss of my grandfather.

I lost My Mother 10 October 2022
I were crying before doing this meditation and being part of it reminded me its alright to feel the way I do.
Thank you for making way for the hurt. Bless you.

Thank you so much for this soothing, peaceful meditation on grief. I lost my daughter close to two years ago and this latest wave of grief is like a tsunami. I’ll be revisiting this often. So much gratitude to you for this beautiful guided meditation 🙏🏻🌈🦋💜

Very helpful. I will do this one again.

I’m wrestling with my loss of my husband of 31 years. The crushing loss is nearly suffocating me. Thank you. Namaste

Thank you so much for this. I said goodbye to my childhood cat yesterday and am looking to honor my grief and where I am. This is what I needed.

Very helpful with the process of letting go.

Gentle and powerful at the same time. Thank you for this allowing and remembering we are complete.

that really helped. i just found out one of my best friends overdosed last night and I didn't really know what to do. I found this and it was useful. thank you

Exactly what i need to help me let go of a relationship . A person 🙏❤

Respectful and supportive meditation on the experience of grief and loss

That was so helpful. I liked the idea that the body will grieve if we let it. Lost my little cat last night and am very much in grief. Your voice is so soothing.