When you know so intimately what can go wrong,
It's hard to believe everything will be all right.
Anyone who has ever experienced a rainbow baby pregnancy can tell you the fear of being faced with another loss never fully goes away.
Reclaiming hope after loss is hard,
But it's not impossible for anyone experiencing anxiety during a rainbow baby pregnancy.
This one's for you.
Welcome to Coached by Nikkie Dyer.
I invite you to begin by making yourself comfortable.
Take a moment to align your body and let your awareness shift to your breath.
Notice the inhale and how the air you take in expands your belly as it fills your body with life.
Notice the out-breath,
How you are able to let go,
Welcoming your thoughts,
Your feelings,
Whatever they may be.
Feeling the air as it goes into your nose,
Your chest,
Your belly.
Staying more present in this moment with each exhale.
As your body continues to work for you in ways you can't see,
Being pregnant again after baby loss or fertility struggles is like carrying a mix of hope and worry.
When you know what can happen,
It's always in the back of your mind.
It's a complex and conflicting feeling of happiness and terror that can be really overwhelming.
But here's the part I want you to focus on.
The fact that you are willing to open your heart again,
Despite all of your fears.
It's a sign of inner courage and resilience.
Expecting a rainbow baby isn't just about hoping for the best or hoping this time it will be different.
It's about finding a way to make peace with the past,
About finding a way to heal.
It's about acknowledging the pain while embracing the possibility of happiness.
Take a deep breath in and exhale as you let yourself settle back down.
This meditation is about acknowledging how you're feeling.
Sitting with your big fears and not pushing them aside.
Embracing each one as it rises to the surface.
Reminding yourself that it's not going to come true just because you think it and you're not tempting fate.
And then letting them go for the next 30 seconds.
Let's sit together in stillness and quietly allow your scary thoughts to come in and as each one does,
Recognize them as nothing more than a thought and then let them flow through you with an exhale.
It's easy to get caught in believing that you'll experience loss again.
But the reality is every pregnancy is unique.
Different pregnancy,
Different outcome.
So breathe.
Trust your body.
The next time fear and self-doubt start to creep back in,
Then they will.
Then you feel like it could all fall apart again.
I want you to place your hand on your heart and quietly say to yourself,
Different pregnancy,
Different outcome.
Different pregnancy,
Different outcome.
You can do this.
Take a final deep breath in and exhale.
And when you are ready,
Open your eyes.
It's all going to be okay.
