Hey guys,
My name is Steele and I am one of the individual and couples therapists here at Delilah Counseling and today I'm going to talk to you guys about the aftermath of a fight and how to process that with someone.
Okay,
So before we start with the five steps for processing a fight,
It's really important that the goal is understanding each other and getting into a calm space so that you're not going back into the fight right away when you talk about it.
Okay,
So step one of how to process a fight is the feelings part.
So this is where each person takes turns sharing how they felt in the fight and avoid commenting on the other person's feelings and really just talk about your own.
Step two is realities.
So this is where each partner is going to take turns sharing their own reality.
So in this part there's no necessarily facts,
But it is each person sharing their perceptions of what happened and the key to this is that after each person takes a turn,
The other partner will summarize and validate at least one part of the other person's reality.
Number three is triggers.
So in a fight sometimes each person will have their own individual triggers that could cause them to interact with their partner in a certain way and so this is where each person is going to be able to talk about their triggers and explain maybe like why they had that reaction.
Number four is taking responsibility.
So taking ownership of what you said it might be a really helpful way for you to acknowledge your responsibility in the argument and be able to process and understand with your partner.
Okay and the last step is the constructive plans step.
So number five constructive plans really is all about each person sharing with their partner what they could do differently next time so maybe this fight is avoided altogether.
Thanks for sitting with me today while I shared these five steps for how to process a past fight.
If you find that you're continuing to have challenges with a loved one,
Whether it's your partner or a family member or friend,
It might be time to reach out for some additional support through Couples Therapy and I'd be happy to do a phone consultation if you're interested at the link in our bio.
