Hi,
This is Clay Stevenson and welcome to Of Mice and Moments,
A podcast that finds significance in the small moments.
When I talk to my kids about cleaning their room,
Feeding the dog or doing chores,
I encourage them to have discipline doing the things that need to be done even when you don't want to do them.
I let them know that a reasonably disciplined life can lead to true happiness and contentment.
This is what sets humankind apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.
We have the ability to fight our animal nature,
To rise above our monkey mind,
And to overcome desires that potentially lead to more difficulty in life.
Consider the impulse to overeat,
Spend too much,
Lash out in anger,
Or fulfill your desire for instant gratification.
Discipline can help us control our eating,
Spending,
Anger,
And allows us to work before we play.
I credit my parents for instilling discipline in my life.
I have a natural inclination for it,
But my parents also played a role in teaching it to me.
But like anything in life,
There needs to be balance.
Discipline set toward the wrong goals and without perspective can be destructive.
I remember distinctly coming home in the third grade with my report card of all A's.
Before showing my parents,
I planned my approach.
Some of the other kids in class talked about how their parents rewarded them for good grades.
A dollar for every A,
75 cents for a B,
And 50 cents for a C.
This seemed like a great idea.
Surely my parents would go for this and I could walk away with a cool $7.
After handing my report card to my mom,
I waited until she had a chance to look it over and remark favorably before I cut in with my request.
I explained this novel idea to her as if she had never before considered such a thing and when I was finished,
There was a beat before she responded.
Clay,
We don't pay you for good grades.
We expect you to get good grades.
That stung a bit.
I really thought I deserved $7,
But that moment stuck with me for years.
What I took away from that interaction was that I was expected to be great and what others might see as a standard of excellence my family saw as normal.
The combination of that kind of nurturing with my disciplined personality meant that I was on overdrive to achieve greatness and excellence.
My self-worth was rolled up in achieving a very high level and through discipline,
I was sometimes successful.
But achieving what others thought was great wasn't enough because that was normal.
My goal was to be better than the best at everything I did.
As you know,
Perfection is an unrealistic standard and at the end of the day,
There was an emptiness.
I may have done well,
Achieved something that others thought great through my discipline,
But that wasn't enough because it was normal,
Because it was average.
Realizing this,
I have to constantly remind myself that it is enough when I try my best even if I don't finish first.
I have to remind myself that it's not healthy to set unattainable standards that contribute to feelings of inadequacy.
Discipline can be good,
But for me,
Only when focused on healthy and realistic goals with understanding for moments of susceptibility to my animal nature and monkey mind,
I have to remind myself that I can be enough,
Even when I'm not perfect,
Especially when I'm not perfect.
How about you?
Do you struggle with not feeling as if you are quote,
Enough?
Do you beat yourself up for moments of weakness and not achieving what you think you should achieve?
Imagine how much more loving and productive life would be if you didn't dwell on your so-called inadequacies.
Imagine a life where you are accepted for who you are,
Strengths,
Weaknesses,
All of it.
Imagine a life where you are loved for who you are.
So when Macy brought home her first report card and we looked at it together as a family,
I congratulated her on working hard.
It wasn't straight A's and that was 100% fine.
I said,
Macy,
I hope you try hard at every meaningful thing you do,
But what I expect is for you to be you,
Whatever that looks like.
And Macy,
You being you is enough.
Thank you.
