The guy was intimidating.
He was 6'2 and 200 pounds.
He had long black hair and tattoos,
Back when long hair and tattoos marked you as a convict.
And he was a convict.
He rarely spoke about his years in prison.
But whenever we'd grab breakfast,
He'd order corned beef hash saying,
This is the good stuff we never got inside.
I'm sure they modeled the characters on that biker show,
Sons of Anarchy after this guy.
He fit the bill to a T.
All of his old spider web and skull tattoos were the classic blue.
The close cropped beard that framed his face matched his dark black ponytail perfectly.
And true to form,
He often grabbed his biker jacket when we were heading out.
But his looks weren't all that was intimidating.
His unflinching cool blue eyes accurately reflected the steel behind them.
And when you were fortunate to catch him smiling,
You'd notice a few missing teeth.
He told me he'd lost them wrestling with New York cops in the 80s,
Or during one of the many street brawls he was involved in.
By 35,
This guy had experienced more life than many people twice his age.
His uncle and mentor had taught him everything he knew about plumbing.
And though he couldn't own a gun or vote,
He ran a thriving plumbing business known for decent prices and exceptional quality.
This guy never cut corners.
More than once,
My work wasn't up to his high standards.
And when that happened,
I was on the receiving end of those steel blue eyes,
Promising to start over and do it again regardless of how long it took me the first time.
As a plumber's assistant,
I was tasked with fetching the tools,
Fittings,
And parts he needed as he was working on the job.
And it took me a while to memorize all the names of the fittings,
Sizes,
And materials he used for the specific jobs.
For example,
If he was working on a water line,
I needed to know to grab the 3 quarter inch copper fittings.
Early on,
He would get frustrated with the numerous trips I'd take to and from the truck.
You messed up,
He'd shout,
And send me flustered back to rummage around some more.
And he made it clear that I should run.
Time was money.
In no way would I categorize this work environment as abusive.
I mean,
It wasn't the safe space of present day work environments,
But my boss with his New York City accent,
Rough edges,
And high demands paid me well,
Gave me plenty of hours,
Often bought my lunch,
And taught me so much about business,
Hard work,
And a legitimate trade.
However,
Given his brusque manner and my aversion to confrontation,
You can understand my trepidation when I needed to ask for a few days off for a school event.
My boss was not someone I wanted to disappoint,
And I imagined he would be frustrated with me for needing to miss so many days.
I wrestled with asking him for days.
I kept holding out,
Hoping that something would come up and he'd give me a few days off,
So I wouldn't need to ask.
As the work week was coming to a close,
The time had come for me to approach him.
I had been working on some tasks in the truck,
Finished up and made my way into the house where he was working on paperwork.
I stood quietly by until he looked up to acknowledge me.
I began the conversation by telling him about my schoolwork and school-related responsibilities.
I emphasized the time pressures I was dealing with and the potential struggles I would be having toward the end of the semester.
And as I talked,
I couldn't figure out how to just come out with my question.
Three or four minutes into this monologue,
My boss abruptly says,
Stop,
And follows up with,
What are you trying to ask me?
That question breaks my wall and I blurt,
Could I have Monday and Tuesday off to attend a school event?
He looks at me incredulously and follows up with,
Why didn't you just ask me that in the first place?
Of course you can have those days off for your event.
Intuiting my apprehensiveness,
He continued,
Look,
Clay,
If you have something you want to say to me,
Just say it.
If you have a question,
Just ask.
If you want something from me,
You won't get it unless you ask.
That simple statement,
Even to this day,
Plays back in my head every time I find myself hesitant to ask.
Basically,
The answer will not be yes if you don't ask the question.
Or,
In our current vernacular,
Shoot your shot.
And I've taken this lesson to heart,
Realizing that if I don't take steps forward,
The chances that someone else takes those steps for me are slim to none.
And as a result,
Good things do come to pass.
I've found that when I take steps forward,
Progress is made and even if the answer isn't always yes,
Those steps,
Shooting your shot,
Move me toward growth.
So how about you?
Do you find yourself paralyzed by fear or indecision?
Like me,
Maybe you're hesitant to disappoint someone with your questions or petitions.
Or maybe you're overwhelmed by fear that you'll make the wrong choice.
Regardless,
The truth is that you will not receive the answer you seek if you don't ask.
And forward progress will not be made if you don't move.
So I encourage you in the face of fear to ask the question,
Make the petition,
Take a step forward.
Resign yourself to grow and learn from whatever the outcome is.
Put yourself in the position to receive the bounty of this life by taking steps forward or shooting your shot.
And when you do,
You give the universe a chance to provide for you.
And in that provision,
You just may find the peace and freedom you deserve.
