Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,
A time to feel calm and think clearly.
I'm Claire Downham,
The Queen of Calm,
A transformational life coach.
I was a burnt out head teacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.
The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state which is calm and clarity.
Just listen like you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.
There's nothing else to do.
Now let's relax into today's episode.
So the exploration today,
You are the canvas,
Not the paint.
I just think this is a beautiful metaphor which points to who we really are and who we're really not.
When you have a canvas in your hands,
My daughter used to do quite a lot of painting and we had the canvases in the house and they're,
Especially when they're still in the cellophane,
They're just beautiful,
Clean white.
There's not a mark on them and they almost seem to reflect the lights or emit light.
I know they don't really emit light,
They probably reflect it but they have this lightness to them,
This brightness to them,
This cleanness to them that's beautiful and waiting for a picture to be painted on them.
And that's what life does.
Life adds the paint.
Babies are the canvas,
All born perfect,
Clean light.
And then life adds some paint.
The things we learn about ourselves,
The things we start to believe,
The things we think are true.
And there are so many different pictures painted on that canvas,
Aren't there?
But I guess maybe it's more of a whiteboard than a canvas because when you think about a canvas,
There's the stickiness to the canvas,
The way once you put the paint on,
It would be very difficult to remove it.
So maybe it's a wipe clean canvas.
But it looks like it's really stuck on the paint,
The stories that we paint in life,
The thoughts that we have.
And many,
Many layers are applied before we even know it's happening.
And I've had a recent experience with a little boy that I know who repeated something that I knew his mother had said to him in anger,
As if it was a truth about him.
Oh,
That's because I'm such and such,
Such and such type of person.
And I knew that the such and such comment had definitely been said by his mother because it had been sent in a message to me and my partner.
So there was a seeing how quickly that went in to him and then came out of his mouth as if it was his creation,
As if he'd come up with the idea on the spot.
It was his idea.
It was his thoughts about who he was.
And seeing how that had happened in a matter of weeks from when the thing had originally been said in anger.
Those,
Those are layers of paint that end up on that canvas.
They were often put there by someone who was in an angry,
Unhappy,
Low state of mind.
Especially those things that we hear in our heads about us that are not,
Not particularly helpful and not true and not kind to ourselves.
That's just seeing how that happens.
So that happens,
That a layer of paint gets added and many layers of paints,
Paint get,
Gets added.
That if you've ever come across like oil,
Oil,
The really thick oil paint,
Oh they're called acrylics aren't they?
The acrylic paint,
How that actually can be layered up in big thick layers and dries.
It's a bit like that.
But something amazing happens when we start to see through that and you can start to see through it.
The canvas is always underneath.
The problem is when we start to notice thoughts that we don't like and we don't want to have and feelings that come with them.
It looks like we've got to cover everything up with another layer of stuff.
So it might be the addition in the,
In the painting metaphor,
The addition of glitter and sparkly little gemstones and bits of cut up foil and perhaps some tinsel.
That's about at the moment isn't it?
Tinsel or whatever it is.
And so you end up with this,
This amazing picture that's all bright and shiny again.
But first of all,
We've just put a layer over the top of what was already there.
And second of all,
We're now further away from connecting to the canvas again.
And the canvas is the light and the calm and the freedom and the innate wisdom and intelligence and wellbeing that are always there inside us.
And I did that for a long time.
I'm not okay.
I didn't think I was okay.
I need to do something about that.
And the way to do that is to keep adding more and more tools and techniques and daily strategies and morning routines and affirmations and meditation and therapy to try and cover up.
It seems like it's going to get rid of the initial layer of dark murky paint,
But actually it's just another layer of thinking.
And when there's a realisation that it's only ever thought that's taking us away from seeing that light and calm that we truly are.
It starts to stop making sense to keep doing more and more things that involve thought because anything you're doing,
Any behaviour,
First of all,
In the behaviour to change ourselves,
There is a focus of attention on what's wrong.
And so not only are there more and more layers and layers of glitter and sparkly stuff taking us away from allowing thought to pass and then reconnecting to that what's inside,
There's also a focus on what's wrong.
So if I have the belief I'm not good enough,
And I think there's a lot of work to do around this belief,
I need to shift it,
I need to work on it,
I need to find where it came from,
I need to add and add and add more glitter and shiny things to try and get rid of this belief about myself not being good enough,
Then exhaustively my focus of attention is on not feeling good enough.
And so then there's a noticing of everything that points to that.
So if I'm procrastinating,
I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing in my business or in my life,
I'm not eating healthily,
I'm not doing exercise,
Etc.
It looks like that's a sign that I don't think I'm good enough.
And I gather that in to the evidence that I don't think I'm good enough.
And so I still have to keep doing the work on.
But actually,
It's that belief that's creating a lens to look through to just see more and more of that particular type of behavior.
If I don't do what I've planned to do,
The only thing to know is that I haven't done what I plan to do.
I can make a story up about why that is,
I can wrap a load of meaning about it,
I can make it mean that it's because I don't think I'm good enough.
The only thing I can really know is that I didn't do what I was supposed to do,
Or what I thought I was going to do or what the past version of me thought was a good idea.
So I hope that metaphor has stirred something.
It's all about the layers of thought is what I'm seeing at the moment.
And there's so many beautiful metaphors to share around that,
But I thought this one was helpful.
It's the layers wherever we're adding more thoughts,
We're going to get further away from connecting to who we really are.
And who you really are is innate calm and well being and peace and love and wisdom.
Thank you so much for listening.
There's nothing to do now,
But bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.
Listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.
This has been the Calmcast with Claire Downham,
Queen of Car.
Take care and keep listening.
