Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,
A time to feel calm and think clearly.
I'm Claire Downham,
The Queen of Calm,
A Transformational Life Coach.
I was a burnt out headteacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.
The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state which is calm and clarity.
Just listen like you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.
There's nothing else to do.
Now let's relax into today's episode.
You make molehills out of mountains was a wonderful thing that was said to me yesterday and when I reflected on those words it made so much sense that that really is the journey that I take people on.
I help with taking away that overwhelm so that the mountains do appear to shrink back down to being molehills but of course the opposite is invariably true and when I help people to reduce their mountains to molehills all I'm really doing is pointing out how they've made the molehills into mountains in the first place.
Now I'm going to start first of all with making sure that we understand the phrase the making a mountain out of a molehill.
I guess that was I probably first heard that when I was a child when I was probably being a bit of a drama queen which I had a propensity to do and it would be pointing to the idea that something would be happening in the world in my circumstances and that I was making that be so much worse and so much more than it actually was and that is a phrase that is used to describe that thing where we as we commonly do as humans make things much worse than they really are and I guess that's the key with looking in this direction with regular listening to the content that I share here and having conversations of this nature is that it is about pointing out where you are making mountains out of molehills and there are a number of ways in which we do that.
There is no denying that there are circumstances happening in your life all the time all day every day there are people behaving there are things happening there is news there is weather there is somebody pulling out in front of you at a roundabout all those things are really happening all the time life is happening you are happening in life and the thing the the thing is that those happenings are and sometimes it's really hard to see this those happenings are neutral they are the circumstances of life and in in in the seeing that they are neutral they have a lot more a lot less ability I guess to to bring about intense feelings or distress or you know anxiety or stress or overwhelm because they they they they have no meaning they're just a happening and I'm sure you will have noticed in life there are some things that that have no there are circumstances happening around you all the time there are things happening that really you don't engage with and you're not really bothered about but some of your circumstances you do engage with much more rigorously maybe isn't quite the right word but you engage with much more thoroughly and it is that meaning making that makes the molehills into mountains in the first place and the way to experience the reverse of the mountains turning back into molehills is to see that that's what's happening is to see that that's what you're doing because when you see that's what you're doing it almost it takes the sting out of it I think it looks less real I think when we when we when we kind of realize that we're adding a lot into a circumstance and then we're feeling that so so here's some ways that we do that the first way is meaning making so something happens in our lives and that can be something that somebody else does quite often and we make it mean something about us so a great example of this is if our other half is in a tricky mood then that's definitely got something to do with us we've upset them and they're in a mood with us and we don't we don't even try to check in with the truth we just assume that it's got something to do with us so that's one example where we can easily make a mountain out of a molehill that could be resolved really easily by asking how that person is and what's going on for them so there's that making it personal thing that we do sometimes and we can do that with things that really have got nothing to do with us really easily there's judgment judgment really does make mountains out of molehills and particularly when we look at ourselves if we see that we're not doing it okay we're not doing it right we're not doing it properly there's something not okay about us that can create an awful lot more noise and really the mountain is made out of the noise in our heads and it can be so helpful to see that to see that the mountain is made of thought the molehill is the circumstance and and you know the thing about molehills and this is nothing i wouldn't want you to hurt a mole in this process but actually if you put your foot on a molehill and and stamp up and down a little bit it kind of disappears the circumstance has no hold over you but the thinking that you have around that is really does and one of the other things that that we really do where we do make some really big mountains is around the future if you're feeling overwhelmed i pretty much guarantee in fact i'm going to guarantee not pretty much guarantee i guarantee that you have some thinking about the future that is creating a big portion of that overwhelm and that can be as simple as you're doing task a and tasks b through to z are whizzing across your head the ones you're going to do later it can be that simple and that's again there's a molehill it's the one task you've got to do right now and the mountain is all the things that are whizzing around in your head that you think you should be doing and as i say when you're looking in this direction this is just about getting a little bit curious about where you are creating these stories where you are making up extra things that are not really what's in front of you that are not really what is present and here right now and knowing that that's what you're feeling like if your mountain is feeling overwhelming to the point where it feels like someone sat on your chest if that's how your mountain is feeling then it's knowing that that is coming from the thinking not from the molehill it's coming from all that mountain of noise that's inside your head and it's always about looking towards the truth of what your experience is just keeping on looking in that direction keeping on getting curious you know that's a lovely i think that's a really lovely metaphor for life is making a mountain out of a molehill so just maybe ask yourself where where are you making a mountain out of a molehill thank you so much for listening there's nothing to do now but bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm this has been the calm cast with claire downer queen of car take care and keep listening you
