Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,
A time to feel calm and think clearly.
I'm Claire Downham,
The Queen of Calm,
A Transformational Life Coach.
I was a burnt out headteacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.
The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state which is calm and clarity.
Just listen like you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.
There's nothing else to do.
Now let's relax into today's episode.
So today the exploration is around how life is happening in the meantime.
And what I mean by that is that how much of our time do we really spend in this moment now?
When I'm making these recordings I would say these are some of my most present moments and I guess it's because I'm speaking to you so what's coming out of my mouth is what's coming out of my mouth now and it's present and it's happening now.
But I do so notice now the times when I'm not here in the present and it can happen in the most interesting of moments.
Sometimes I'll be honest I'll be in a conversation with somebody and my head will go somewhere else.
The only real thing happening is that conversation but sometimes my head is distracted by the things I've got to do which of course are thoughts about the future or the things I've forgotten to do which might be a bit more reflective of the past.
And really what I've noticed more and more recently is that every time I spot myself doing that in a really gentle non-judgmental way knowing that I'm not wrong for going into the past or the future because that is utterly a human thing to do.
Every time I notice that I find it to be helpful in terms of falling into life as it is right now and that occurs without the need to do anything in particular so I don't need to do any kind of mindfulness techniques or anything specific like that.
It just seems to happen on its own as soon as I notice.
And what can be helpful in the process of noticing is just to ask yourself especially if you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable you've got an emotional discomfort going on.
Asking that question right now about where your thinking is can be really helpful.
Those times when we feel out of sorts when we feel emotionally uncomfortable but we have what we might call negative feelings they are the most beautiful warnings really from our bodies from our inner workings they are the most beautiful warnings they are telling us something they are giving us information and the information they're giving us is that our thinking is off.
And so asking that question you know where where am I right now like not where am I physically I know where I am physically you probably do too but where am I in my head space where where are my thoughts where have I gone to.
Just asking that question can be profound in the way that it can ease us back into the present moment because it is almost like shining a light on something that was hidden because when we're caught up in it it's quite difficult to spot isn't it.
But when we realize that uncomfortable feelings come from uncomfortable thoughts and many of our uncomfortable thoughts are the ones that are not in the present moment they tend to be in the past or the future just bringing some awareness to that can be truly powerful.
And it's it's easier I think than practicing lots of different techniques to make yourself more mindful because to me that just adds more thinking really and I've taught mindfulness I've taught people you know all the different tools and techniques that go with that.
It seems to me that there's something much simpler in just an awareness of where you are and that question can be you know just could be where's my thinking right now it could be what am I feeling right now.
Well you're only ever feeling one thing of course and that brings you back around to the thinking again it's just another reminder what am I feeling right now.
Well I'm feeling thought in the moment where's my thinking right now.
Oh it's often the past or the future that's why I feel frightened or I feel guilty because that's where my thinking has taken me and it's a really simple unraveling because really there isn't very much to unravel.
There's thought and thought is this amazing fluid thing that passes by if we let it.
There's a lot less to do about thought than we might initially think or we might have been guided to see.
We're only ever one thought away from reconnecting to that inner well-being that innate intelligence that wisdom that inner resilience and confidence they're always there just a thought away and those gifts that are who we really are are so beautifully here when we are in the present and life is happening in the meantime while you are caught up in those thoughts about the past and the future life is actually happening you are missing it.
We all are when we are caught up in those other spaces in our heads and feeling the feelings of that and I guess you will have noticed this because remember this is all about exploration.
You'll have noticed those times when you have been in that in the present moment really naturally whether that's you know a special occasion when you're just absolutely present when you're watching a sunset or sunrise or you're with your children or you're even in the shower sometimes or out for a walk whatever it is there are times when we naturally fall into the present and you will have noticed that those are the times when you've got less on your mind and then there is a natural falling into awareness of what is here right now.
It's almost like the awareness that we're caught up in thought brings us back to being in the presence and the awareness of this moment now.
Well that is how the system works.
So what there is here is an invitation to just bring some awareness just to be noticing and just to sometimes ask that question you know where is my head right now where are my thoughts right now especially if you've got one of those beautiful warning signs from your body where you feel an uncomfortable feeling.
I mean you can tell me otherwise but I suspect if you have an uncomfortable feeling your thoughts are not in the present moment they're somewhere they might be based on a present moment thing that's happening but it will be the propelling of the story forward or the taking of the story into the past that will be creating the feelings you're experiencing.
So take those beautiful warning signs the warning signs of love they are really aren't they they're very loving warning signs and ask that question where where are you right now where is your thinking and then just be really open to receive the answers that you hear.
This isn't about a tool or technique it is just about bringing some awareness to where you are to help you to fall back into the present moment which is of course the only reality.
Thank you so much for listening there's nothing to do now but bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.
This has been the Calmcast with Clare Downer,
Queen of Calm.
Take care and keep listening.
