How To Follow Your Joy

Are you able to follow your joy? Take the next step when wisdom emerges. Or is there a voice in your head saying, "You can't do that"? The voice of Niggly Nelly. Taking you away from your joy. Really all you need is the awareness of that voice and a reconnection to the joy.
Join me as I explore this from a new perspective.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,

A time to feel calm and think clearly.

I'm Claire Downham,

The Queen of Calm,

A Transformational Life Coach.

I was a burnt out headteacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying,

And I want to prevent you from having to do the same.

The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state,

Which is calm and clarity.

Just listen like you would listen to music,

With an open mind and curiosity.

There's nothing else to do.

Now let's relax into today's episode.

So today I'm talking about how to follow your joy,

And it came to mind to talk about this because recently I went for a walk around my local area and I noticed that I noticed flowers in bloom.

So you know,

It's the middle of November and I noticed roses that were blooming and a higher synth I think,

Although I'm not 100% sure of my plant names,

But I was kind of under the impression that those things were not supposed,

In inverted commas,

To be in bloom at that point.

But what that made me think was that nature doesn't care,

Does it?

Like it doesn't care that I'm thinking you're not supposed to be in bloom right now.

It doesn't care that the other plants of the same nature are not blooming.

It just does what it does because it's being powered nature by this invisible,

Magical,

Wonderful force.

And where I'm pointing to today is for you to see that that is exactly the same force that is powering you too.

And that's the force that often brings about a feeling of joy.

It's that little voice inside you that says,

Go this way,

Move this way.

But the trouble is that it's not the only voice in there,

Is it?

Have you noticed there seems to be multiple little voices in there,

Doesn't there,

In this in our heads?

Because once we've heard the little voice saying,

Follow your joy,

Go this way,

This is the next step,

Invariably a much louder,

Shoutier,

More determined voice comes in and says all sorts of things about why not.

So it may say,

Well,

You can't do that.

You look a bit stupid.

You're not good enough.

You're not clever enough.

You're not,

I mean,

I read a post just now,

You're not old enough.

You're not young enough.

You're not the right age to do that.

Brilliant.

You know,

That's one of those voices,

Isn't it,

That comes into our heads.

To tell us why we can't follow our joy.

And I don't mean chasing happiness.

It's not the same thing.

I mean,

In this present moment,

When something comes through you and it has that feeling of,

Yes,

Yes,

That's that's the way to go.

But then that negative,

Niggly old Nelly,

She comes in and she says,

You can't do that.

You're going to look stupid or whatever your little voice says.

And that that stops us.

And the other the other part to that,

I think,

Or maybe it's all part the same thing is that comparisonitis where the voice says,

Well,

You know,

You're not as far ahead as them.

You should be further on.

You should be.

You can't be as far,

You know,

Whatever.

It's all there,

Isn't it?

Holding us back and stopping us from following our joy.

Now it may seem like there's a lot to do to contend with this issue.

It seems like an issue.

I want to follow my joy and I'm not.

And I mean,

In order to to notice it,

Notice whether or not you're following your joy is,

You know,

You may be procrastinating.

You may be thinking lovely thoughts about doing wonderful things and then not doing them.

You may be really conscious that you are not putting yourself out there in a way,

Not going for a promotion,

Not putting yourself out there in your business.

Whatever it is,

You will have some awareness of these places in life where you're just not following that little voice inside you.

So what is there to do about this?

Very little as it happens,

Which is great,

Isn't it?

I'm not going to encourage you to do lots of affirmations.

I'm sure if you've listened to me before,

You'll know that already.

I'm not going to say this is about changing your thinking and having more positive thinking.

It's about awareness because you will notice if you really connect to it,

That that little voice of wisdom,

The intuition comes with a lovely feeling.

And that's why I'm talking about following your joy is because it comes with a joyful feeling in the moment,

Not somewhere in the future I'm going to get a joyful feeling.

That's different.

But that feeling of wisdom,

That feeling of intuition,

That feeling of your inner guidance,

Your inner voice feels,

Wow,

Yes,

It has that.

And it can sometimes be quite fleeting because very quickly the don't,

You can't do that,

Niggling Ellie comes in.

And the way to be more in a place of following your joy is really only to not listen to that voice,

To not,

To ignore it really.

Now the way to know that it's there is it comes with a really icky feeling or it comes with those behaviors I've just talked about.

It comes with procrastination,

Feeling stuck,

Feeling like you don't know what to do next,

Feeling like you've got this dream and yet you're being sideswiped all the time away from it.

And really all that is required is awareness and giving yourself time.

When you think about it,

The niggling Ellie voice has been there a long time.

She's been,

She,

He,

They've been running the show for a long time.

Right from when we were really little,

I was chatting to my stepson this morning and he's got into a little bit of a habit of just moaning about all sorts of aches and pains.

He's got,

I was going to do something physical and he's like,

Oh,

I'm hurting.

And we chided this weekend and he's,

He's just got into a habit because when he does that and his mum's listening,

She gives him love and attention.

And he was,

He's turning,

He,

He could see it when we chided about,

He said,

Yeah,

That's it.

That's what's happening.

And all it takes is a bit of awareness,

Which is what I said to him.

I said,

You know,

Just be aware when you've got a little voice that says you can't do this physical thing because you can,

Your body's strong and healthy.

And that's really,

You know,

That's beautiful for all,

Isn't it?

To know that if you can stand at the computer,

You can do a live video.

You can even sit down and do it.

I happened to stand up,

This is my standing phase of the day,

Then to sit down as the day goes on more.

But you,

You,

You,

You know,

You can fill in an application form and apply for a promotion.

You can pick up the phone and make a call.

You can send a message,

Whatever it is that you are not following.

You can start an amazing new project.

It's all there.

That little voice,

The one that tries to squash you from following your joy does not know what you are capable of ever.

It just doesn't know.

And that's really revolutionizes how you relate to the space in your head,

How you relate to the noise in there.

And you are,

But you are,

It's all wisdom because you are always being guided.

If it's coming with an uncomfortable feeling,

It means you've got unhelpful,

Uncomfortable thinking.

That thinking which is having you divert from your path of joy,

From following your joy.

And all it takes is just a bit of awareness.

And you know,

Sometimes what I'm noticing is a bit of pushing through it.

There's an icky feeling.

It's kind of trying to hold you back and you may have to just off I go.

And you'll be amazed what happens when you take that little bit of action.

And you'll know when it's time to do that because when you do,

You will come into this lovely feeling.

Follow,

Follow,

You know,

Sydney Banks used to say,

Follow the good feeling.

And that doesn't mean chase it.

That doesn't mean,

Oh,

When I've got the big car in the car,

I'm going to feel happy.

It's not that.

It's following the good feeling.

If you're not in that good feeling,

Find a way to give yourself a moment,

Whatever makes sense to you from that place of knowing that that is passing through you,

That uncomfortable feeling and the grotty thinking that comes with it.

So I hope you have a super joyful day.

Follow your joy.

Follow your joy today.

And lots of love from me.

Have a good one.

Thank you so much for listening.

There's nothing to do now,

But bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.

Listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.

This has been the Calmcast with Clare Downham,

Queen of Calm.

Take care and keep listening.

Reviews

Thank you for this uplifting talk which was most helpful when I was feeling particularly joyless. Keep up this excellent work! You are an asset to the world!