From Overthinking To Self-Compassion - A Simple Shift

Overthinking can often spiral into self-doubt and harsh inner judgment. In this compassionate session, we explore a new way forward through the 3 Principles understanding, one where awareness, not effort, sets you free.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

If your mind has been loud today,

Busy,

Spinning,

Full of what-ifs and should-haves,

This space is for you.

If your heart feels tight with self-doubt,

Or if you've been caught in loops of trying to figure it all out,

You are in the right place.

So let's begin with a breath.

There's nothing you need to get right,

No special technique.

Just breathe however your body wants to breathe.

Breathe in,

Breathe out.

And settle now into this moment of truth.

Gently feel where your body meets the chair,

Or the bed,

Or the ground beneath you.

Notice how it holds you.

Without you needing to hold yourself up,

You are supported here.

Let this be a pause.

Not a pause to fix anything,

But a pause to see something.

So breathe in,

Breathe out.

And settle now into this moment of truth.

Today we're exploring the link between overthinking and self-judgment.

Have you noticed how the two often travel together?

Overthinking says,

Let me solve this,

Let me control it.

Self-judgment whispers,

You're not doing enough,

You should have known better.

And together they can feel like an endless loop.

But the good news is,

This isn't who you are,

It's just a habit of the mind.

And from a three principles perspective,

Habits are made of thought.

And thought is always moving,

Changing,

Transient.

Just like the clouds in the sky,

Just like the weather.

So if your mind has been stormy,

This is not a problem,

It's simply a passing front.

You are not the storm,

You are the sky.

Breathe in,

Breathe out.

And settle now into this moment of truth.

Let's settle a little more deeply now.

If it helps,

Place a hand on your heart or your belly.

Feel the warmth of your own presence.

You've made it here and that matters.

Now let's gently explore what happens when overthinking and self-judgment show up.

Of course,

Overthinking often begins as a genuine desire to do things well.

To keep yourself safe,

To avoid mistakes or regret.

But very quickly it spirals.

You may find yourself replaying a conversation from earlier today.

Or second-guessing a choice you made.

Or obsessing over how something might go wrong.

Breathe in,

Breathe out.

And settle now into this moment of truth.

And then comes the judgment.

Why do I always do this?

Why can't I stop?

What's wrong with me?

Can you feel how heavy that gets?

And yet,

From the three principles understanding,

We know that thought is not reality.

Yes,

It creates our moment-to-moment experience,

But it's not the truth of who we are.

Let's settle into that again.

Your thoughts are not evidence.

Not of your worth.

Not of your future.

Not of your limitations.

Take a moment again to breathe in.

And breathe out.

And settle into this truth.

All these things passing through you.

The things you can see right now.

The thoughts.

The beliefs.

The emotions.

They are all weather systems.

And you are built to weather them.

You are built to be aware of them.

So when the overthinking comes,

And it will,

You can begin to relate to it differently.

Instead of getting pulled into the swirl,

Can you begin to see the swirl?

From a little distance.

Like a tiny step backwards.

With a little kindness and compassion.

Take another beautiful breath in.

And another wonderful exhale.

And just settle into your body.

Into this present moment.

Overthinking can feel a bit like being on a huge motorway.

When we're overthinking,

It's like we're driving round and round on that motorway.

As a hundred miles an hour,

Missing all the exits.

We're looping the same thoughts again and again.

Fast.

Familiar.

Exhausting.

But I'm here to let you know that you can take your hands off the wheel.

You can pull into a service station.

You can rest.

Because you're not stuck.

You're just momentarily caught in a mental habit.

And that habit will pass.

It always does.

Gently settle again into this moment.

Notice if your mind has begun to wander.

Know that that's okay.

Take a deep breath in.

And a wonderful,

Relaxing breath out.

And now let's turn to that voice of self-judgement.

That voice that says you're not doing enough,

Or being enough,

Or healing fast enough.

What if we soften around that voice too?

What if it's not the enemy,

But just a tired protector?

It's trying clumsily to help you feel safe.

That's the inner critic.

All it is,

Is a frightened part of you trying to prevent more pain.

But it doesn't have the whole picture.

It doesn't know how wise you truly are beneath the noise.

And so let's return again to the three principles.

This understanding that reminds us that you are not your past.

You are not your thoughts.

You are not broken.

You are peace.

You are love.

You are wisdom.

And all of that is only ever temporarily obscured by clouds.

But it's never lost.

Let's feel into that for a moment.

Notice your breath again.

In.

And out.

Notice the perfection of the speed of your breathing.

Just as it is.

Notice your body.

Relaxing and settling.

There's no need to change anything.

Just be with yourself.

With kindness.

Breathe in.

And breathe out.

And connect to these words of truth.

Maybe you've believed for a long time that overthinking was a flaw to be fixed.

But what if it's just momentum?

Like a train that's been going too fast and is now starting to slow down.

It doesn't stop immediately.

But it will stop.

And you don't have to keep it going.

You don't have to hang on tight to the controls.

Let the system settle.

Breathe in.

And breathe out.

And let the system settle.

Let yourself settle into this moment of truth.

And here's the most beautiful part.

You don't have to try to stop thinking.

You don't have to try to slow your thinking down.

You simply notice.

Oh.

I'm caught up again.

And in that moment of noticing,

Something loosens.

Awareness brings choice.

And awareness is the beginning of freedom.

Let's stay with that.

Let's take a little space for quiet now.

Just breath.

Just presence.

Just being.

Now,

Let's add a little metaphor.

A dashboard.

Imagine your feelings are like the dashboard in a car.

When a warning light comes on,

Like anxiety or overwhelm.

It's not a sign that there is something wrong with you.

It's just letting you know that your mind is speeding.

That the thought engine is revving.

But the light isn't asking you to panic.

It's simply offering guidance.

And that guidance always says the same thing.

Slow down.

There's nothing to fix.

Come home.

Come to the presence of the breath.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

So if your thoughts have been telling you stories about who you are.

About what you should have done.

About how you're not enough.

Know this.

Those are just stories.

They feel real because they're paired with feelings in the body.

But they're still stories.

And they will shift.

Let's come back now to your hand on your heart or your belly.

Feel the warmth again.

This is you.

You beyond the noise.

Still here.

Still whole.

Let's say something quietly to ourselves now.

You can repeat it in your mind if it feels good.

It's okay that I think.

It's okay that I judge.

But I don't have to believe it.

I'm already enough.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

And settle now into this moment of truth.

I don't need to try so hard.

I don't need to fix myself.

I can trust what's underneath.

Let yourself soften now.

If a part of you still wants to get involved.

Still wants to figure it all out.

Just acknowledge it.

And then return to the quiet that's here underneath.

The quiet of awareness.

This isn't about effort.

It's about insight.

A gentle shift in how you see what's happening.

There's no perfection required.

Just presence.

Just curiosity.

Just a remembering of who you really are.

So as we close this time together,

Know this.

Overthinking is not a flaw.

Self-judgment is not the truth.

And you,

Right now,

Are not behind.

You are not broken.

You are not late.

You're here.

And that's more than enough.

Let this moment hold you now.

Let the swirl slow down.

And let yourself rest in that deeper place.

The one that has never been touched by overthinking at all.

The one that knows.

You are peace.

You are love.

You are already home.

And know that if you ever need to,

You can always come back to this space.

To settle.

To be reminded.

Because we all forget sometimes.

And now,

When you're ready,

You can move on with your day.

Or stay here.

And rest.

You know what's needed.

Take care.

And much love.