Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,
A time to feel calm and think clearly.
I'm Claire Downham,
The Queen of Calm,
A Transformational Life Coach.
I was a burnt out headteacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.
The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state,
Which is calm and clarity.
Just listen like you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.
There's nothing else to do.
Now let's relax into today's episode.
Today's exploration is about the truth.
And when I just consider that word,
It really is something that I am less and less sure about in my own life.
Things that I thought were true seem to appear less and less true as time goes on.
And I'm sure there'll be some personal examples that will come to mind,
But if right now,
You are feeling that overwhelm feeling.
Perhaps you feel that in your body,
A feeling of tension.
I sometimes talk about it feeling like somebody's sitting on your chest.
Perhaps your mind is racing.
Perhaps you have butterflies,
Angry butterflies,
A client used to once call them,
In your stomach.
It may look like you're feeling something outside of you.
It may seem like you're feeling the future,
But that overwhelm feeling is really coming from you believing some of those things that are inside your head that are not true.
And it's a question to ask in the moment,
In that moment when you feel overwhelmed,
When your mind is racing,
You're overthinking and you're feeling those sensations I just described.
Just noticing,
Just bringing some awareness.
Can you notice those thoughts that are whizzing through your head?
And can you ask the simple question,
Is this true?
Now I'm going to help you out with that a little bit because I'm fairly sure that there are many thoughts whizzing through your head that look extremely true.
I have a lot of conversations with people,
Clients and people who I have business connections with or making business connections with and there's a lot of talk about the future.
Some stories about what the winter may bring.
But listen to the word stories,
They're made up.
If you're engaging in the news and the noise out there,
You have to remember they're making it up too.
They just happen to be putting it in print or on your television screen or on your radio.
When we step into the future in our minds,
Because of course we can't do it,
We're in real life,
We can't physically step into the future,
Yet,
Perhaps that will be possible one day,
We cause a malfunction and we feel that malfunctioning thinking.
This it's a bit like if you consider your computer,
If you tried to run,
If you could get hold of Windows 2051 and you try to run that on your Windows 2021 computer,
It wouldn't work.
And when you are caught up in those untrue thoughts about the future,
It creates confusion inside your head and that confusion is felt throughout your body.
I know that you know what that feels like.
Just pause for a minute.
All you have to ask is,
Is it true?
Is it really true?
Maybe some of the other thoughts in your head are about what other people might be thinking about you.
You can't know that they're true either.
And there's nothing to do here,
But just bring some awareness to that and just keep asking that question.
Is this true?
Is it true?
Now even if you are caught up in thinking about the past,
Having the realization that the past is also being created by you because we just don't remember the past particularly accurately and at the time there was our perspective and now there's another layer of perspective as we consider it again.
Is it true you could have done that better?
Is it true that person could have done better?
Well if they didn't then it isn't true.
What about those what-if thoughts?
Maybe you've got some of those.
Are they true?
And the thing is if we don't perhaps believe or we don't perhaps realize that thought is not true,
As a rule it's not true.
We may get engaged in that and that overwhelmed feeling that you're experiencing is coming from engaging in that thinking,
Going down that rabbit hole.
And that makes you human by the way.
What is true for you right now?
Maybe what's true is the space where you actually are right now.
What might feel true or might be a true experience is the clothes that you're wearing and feeling those against your skin.
Your breath.
Just notice that for a minute.
That's true too.
Your heart beating if you can feel it.
That's true.
And maybe just as you listen to this you can feel yourself settling a little bit.
Because what I am pointing you towards is not trying to change your thinking.
Trying to have different feelings.
Trying to have a different experience of life.
What I am pointing you towards is just changing your relationship with what passes through in your head.
There's a difference,
A big difference between experiencing a thought passing through your head and believing it.
You don't need to change that thought.
You don't need to try and manipulate it.
You don't have to make it go away.
There's just something so powerful in seeing it for what it is.
It's a transient bit of energy passing through you.
And if it falls into one of those categories we've talked about just asking yourself is that true?
In the moment just is that true?
And if you have some untrue thoughts in your head welcome to the human race because we've all got them.
Every single one of us.
But the more you see through them,
The more you change your relationship with them,
The more ease you bring to them where you can kind of watch them go across your head and have that almost mild amusement with them.
That's where the gold lies.
That's where the calm,
The clarity,
The peace lie.
And as always this is an invitation to get curious.
What is true?
What is really,
Really true and how much of the noise in your head really isn't true?
Thank you so much for listening.
There's nothing to do now but bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.
Listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.
This has been the Calmcast with Clare Downham,
Queen of Calm.
Take care and keep listening.
