Making Peace With Your True Self

This is a Peace Projects interview with Rev. Reg Tan. We talk about how she found peace with herself and her parents when she decided to come out. She also details her journey in finding her path in life in Spirituality which did not fit in with her family's beliefs. An inspirational story of how you can be yourself and be accepted for who you are.

Transcript

I am so very,

Very happy to have a wonderful friend,

A very inspirational spiritual teacher on the peace projects.

Welcome,

My friend,

Reverend Reg Tan.

I followed your progress over the years and it's just been so inspirational.

You're a cheerleader for so many people and you have a Facebook site,

Reg metaphysician.

And you're also an ordained minister and international metaphysical ministry,

Global coherence initiative ambassador,

Anchor of practical magic for V8-1 radio,

Where you are in the Philippines,

Co-producer for practical magic anchor for putting things in perspective.

And I remember during the hardest time of when everyone was going through COVID-19,

You were doing your daily Facebook live to help people in your meditations and helping them stay peaceful and calm.

And I appreciate that you're so passionate about bringing awareness that people,

The planet should come together in order to have a more fulfilled life.

And I just am so glad to have you here today.

You've been wanting to connect for a while and we're finally here and it's just perfect.

So welcome.

Welcome.

How are you?

Thank you so much.

I'm doing fantastic.

Aloha.

So tell me,

Reg,

First we're going to talk about peace.

And for you,

It's gotta be interesting because you are in the Philippines and you grew up,

I think it sounded like a fairly typical,

But possibly conservative upbringing.

And I wanted to find out how you found your truth and your path with what you are with your family,

Because this is,

As you know,

Has been an issue for many people.

Yes.

You wanted to come out to talk to the family,

To have the courage to do that,

To find peace in their relationship.

And I think that maybe your story could inspire others on how you did that.

Yes.

Thank you for that question,

Dr.

Cindy,

Because it's true I come from a very conservative family and my mom served in a church that was very traditional in their perspective,

Especially when it came to gender identity and getting attracted to our partners.

Of course,

When you're an adolescent,

That's your time when you're meeting a lot of people and it's also your dating stage.

So it was a concern for my mom specifically,

Because my dad at the age of 15 passed on.

So my mom was left to take care of four children and then she had to deal with the finances of the family.

And then she also had to deal with the adolescent concerns,

How your children are being influenced by friends,

Being influenced by the school and also the religious community,

Which my mom was very devoted to.

And honestly,

For the longest time of my life,

I felt guilt and shame because I know very well when I was still a baby.

I fondly remember I had a crush on someone who was scaring me.

And even when I was in grade school and high school,

I always felt attracted to women easily.

And there was a time when I wanted to figure out if am I just feeling this temporarily.

So I dated men to find out if I was just feeling it as a phase.

But when I went out with men,

The opposite sex,

It felt so awkward.

I didn't have the instinct,

The initial attraction that I would feel for women.

And then I feel very fortunate because when my first college degree was,

When I was taking up my first college degree,

Which is child development and education,

I'm also a licensed teacher actually.

One of my professors in philosophy,

He was telling us constantly,

Tell the truth and the truth will set you free.

And he was actually encouraging a lot of his students to come out to their families because he knew the emotional burden that one carries if you're not able to come out to your family.

So because of his perfect example to me,

I felt I had the courage to tell my mom and tell my siblings about it.

And to be honest,

It was very awkward because when my mom and my sister approached me and asked me if I was attracted to women and if I was gay,

One of the awkward questions they asked me was,

So when you bring girls at home,

Are you intimate with them?

Of course,

When you're at that age,

I was 18 years old and then your mom and your sister is going to ask you questions like that.

Of course,

There's a part of you,

You don't know if you're going to admit it or if you're going to hold back.

But I promised myself that I'm going to be transparent because if there's anything that will concern my family,

I'd rather have them hear it from me than have them hear it from other people.

So I told them,

Yeah,

That's the case.

And I tried to say it soingly so that it won't be so serious.

And then I just told them,

Oh,

What can I do?

My girlfriends are so pretty.

And they were so shocked at my humorous way of handling it.

But honestly,

It was me trying to be humorous about the situation because I didn't want the awkwardness of having to come out of the family to take over.

So immediately I told my mom,

You know what,

Mom,

If you're going to yell at me or if you're going to get mad at me,

Please do it now,

I don't like belonging to Agadie.

Of course,

It was a defense mechanism for me to actually say it.

So anyway,

My mom just said,

Actually,

It's okay,

But I'm just really surprised because she was telling me,

You know,

When you were young,

I bought you nice dresses.

And I always envisioned you to be this girly girl that I wanted you to be.

So hearing it now,

It was something that I know my mom had to deal with emotionally.

My mom served her church and because she had some health concerns,

She can't really get a job that will sustain her for an eight to five thing because she's an epileptic patient.

So she can have an attack anytime,

So that was the most productive thing that she can do.

But luckily,

Our two aunts in the state sent the four of us to school,

So we were able to finish college.

And because we know,

And we saw from our parents how hard they worked,

But they didn't really get the momentum in life that they wanted because that passed on at the age of 45.

We know that after graduation,

We really had to make something of our lives.

And because of that,

I also put in my head that I have so much to be grateful for,

And I have to find a way to be the most productive person that I can be.

Especially I'm very fortunate because years after coming out to my family,

I realized that's not enough because when I reached my early 20s,

I had to deal with working for the corporate world.

Me and my girlfriend at that time were working in the same office,

And it was a totally different playing game because of course,

Our perspectives were shifting and she was my longest girlfriend at that time.

We broke up because we were changing our priorities,

But at that time,

I couldn't see it that way.

So I was very depressed.

It got me into Reiki healing and other forms of healing modality until I found my way into a New Thought Church.

And in that New Thought Church,

I read the book called A Miracle Awaits You by a New Thought minister,

His name is Dr.

George Gison.

And he has this beautiful book,

And he says that we are all made in the image and likeness of God.

And towards the end,

He wrote,

God is male,

God is female,

God is gay,

God is lesbian,

God is transsexual because God is all.

And then after reading that portion of this book,

I found myself crying because I realized,

Oh my God,

I spent so much time being insecure,

Feeling second grade,

And all my teachers in religion were telling me,

You are made in the image and likeness of God,

But no one wrote about my being made in the image and likeness of God that way.

So until I had that validation,

I felt so at peace.

And then I realized,

Oh my God,

I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure that this message gets across the bigger audience.

Because in fact,

Last Thursday,

Someone from London also interviewed me.

And one of the things that we touched upon is the LGBTQ issue.

And she said,

I'm hoping that one day we won't have to bring up this topic because it's no longer useful.

But now I still find that from time to time,

Because I have already liberated myself from my insecurities,

It's so important for the younger generation,

Even for people who are older than me,

And some of them are my clients,

And they're not even in the space where they're totally accepting themselves because they're part of our religious community that condemns the LGBTQ.

So I'm very grateful that I was able to finally be at peace with myself and really understand on the heart level what it means to be made in the image and likeness of God,

And what it truly means to have a personal relationship with the God within.

I love that answer and what an amazing story that led you on this path of trusting yourself enough to have the courage to speak who you are,

And then also finding a way to further your path to find that peace you needed,

Which then you had a foundation to grow what you're passionately expressing and teaching and doing now.

So from that initial experience with that book and that teacher,

Then how did you find that the path that you're on with the metaphysical path?

Well,

One of the things that I always wanted to be,

Even when I was,

Well,

One of the things that they always wanted to be,

I had this perfect clarity when I was taking up child development and education,

I always wanted to become a life coach.

And I didn't really find any school to be a life coach until I saw the University of Metaphysics website.

And I was so surprised that the tuition fee was so affordable.

Because one of the things that I was concerned about when I was studying my first college degree,

My aunt,

Who's a doctor in Houston,

Was sending a lot of money for my college tuition fee.

And then at that time,

The goal was to go to the States,

Because if you're a licensed teacher,

It's a lot easier to go to the States as a nurse or as a teacher,

If you're a Filipino.

That was the mindset background.

And I know very well that I always wanted to become a life coach,

Because I know what it feels like to have a lot of unsettled issues within yourself.

So I was studying with that teacher for about three years,

And then I saw the University of Metaphysics website.

And then I realized,

Oh my god,

They're so organized,

And they're a research-driven university.

And then I was telling myself,

Oh my god,

I should really enroll here.

And I was already working as a full-time energy healer.

I was renting a clinic here in my area,

But I wanted to have the degree in life coaching and as a professional metaphysician.

So I decided to enroll in University of Metaphysics.

But then I also had another struggle,

Because my siblings were so successful in their businesses.

And somehow I again had to deal with the family's expectation that you're already of a certain age,

So you also need to be as successful as your siblings.

And at that time,

I was just telling myself,

Oh my god,

But I feel that this is what I am guided to do.

And I kept it secret to my family that I was studying another course.

So I would study in the evening,

And then I would wake up late.

So initially,

They were thinking,

Maybe I'm just a lazy,

Happy-go-lucky person.

But of course,

There was a time that I couldn't keep it secret anymore,

So I told them that I enrolled again in University of Metaphysics.

And I had to deal with another family discussion,

Telling me what's going to happen to me about my future.

And they're all telling me,

That hobby of yours,

That may be making you happy in the moment,

But is it going to make you money?

So although I was embarrassed,

Honestly,

In my first year in University of Metaphysics and being part of the International Metaphysical Ministry,

I had to ask everyone the question,

At what age did they decide to leave the family home?

Because here in the Philippines,

It's very rare that people move out.

And I remember getting over 90 respondents in that question.

And a lot of people were saying,

I moved out at the age of 15,

16,

20,

And then,

Oh my god,

I was telling myself,

I'm over 30,

And I'm still living in the family home.

So I realized that one of the strengths of my friends in the States,

There's no pressure when people move out.

And they're not as successful yet,

Materially compared to their siblings or to their friends.

And here in the Philippines,

If you come from a middle class family,

And you come from a private school,

Somehow there's a certain expectation where some of your friends already have their own cars,

Their own homes.

And honestly,

I felt pressured by that kind of expectation,

Because here I was reading all the books that I felt passionate about reading.

I was continuously growing myself in the field that I felt I really had the gift of doing and expressing.

And all my other friends and family members,

They were busy building their businesses,

Or they have properties like that.

It put a lot of pressure on me.

But even if I was pressured,

I was still doing my own thing,

Which was studying and doing my personal research about all the questions I had in my head.

And that's why when I read your book,

Prayers,

Meditations,

And Affirmations,

It was really an amazing eye-opening experience for me,

Because of the pressure I was feeling outside of me,

I needed to find that inner stillness.

How do I reconcile all my ideas about this God within and then God and the tradition,

Especially I'm coming from a Catholic community,

We're predominantly Catholic.

And although I truly appreciate that my Catholic upbringing gave me the concept of God,

Gave me the concept of higher power,

And I know that many times,

Whatever difficulty I had growing up,

It was because of the prayers and the devotion of my parents to the church that really helped me stay emotionally uplifted,

No matter what was happening.

It was a different level when I read your book,

How it liberated me from understanding what does it really mean to be Catholic,

Especially here in my place,

Because I was already curious about so many things.

I was learning about New Thought philosophy.

And then I know that I had to be able to have that feeling of inner peace and still remain balanced and harmonious with the people around me.

And what I liked most,

Especially about your book,

Was when you talked about the chalice and how it actually meant being a channel of God,

A channel of expression,

And that gave me goosebumps.

Because even four years ago,

When I was blogging for food and books,

I noticed that some of my posts were about divine calling,

Purpose,

And it didn't have anything to do with the restaurants that I was blogging about.

But when I read that part of your book,

I was telling myself,

See,

I'm not this weirdo who has these ideas outside of what my family and friends are saying.

I'm really making sense here,

But I just didn't have enough words.

I wasn't very articulate.

That's why most of the time I was called weird.

You know what,

This has been,

Of course,

On my path.

I started a long,

Long time ago.

And as you know,

With Dr.

Masters after my father died,

But I,

You know,

That was over 50 years ago.

So of course,

This was even considered stranger then,

But it was such a gift to me.

And you know what we find?

We find this amazing support inside.

We find this connection and on the metaphysical path,

As you have found your life is your expression,

Guiding you.

Once you set your intention towards that inner connection of God and setting the highest intent to do who you are,

What you are and your purpose in life,

And then your life events.

So it's like an amazing movie that unfolds and shows you and tells you,

And you have become such an amazing positive force to help others now who don't know how to express themselves well social media wise,

Which is another whole world out there.

So much in connecting that,

And then it led you to doing these connections with the coherence.

And I know you connected with Jennifer Hill,

Who's a wonderful friend,

And you were able to have her on your show.

And then you started your show on the Philippines radio station.

You still listen to as you were young.

So it's amazing.

You probably wouldn't have been ready for all of your message and how to communicate it in a new sense of who you are in your soul,

If you'd had that earlier.

So it's unfolded in such a beautiful way.

When you finally embrace these paths,

Then were you able to find some first of all,

I guess first let's ask about how this then developed in your relationship with your family and how that is an appear peace with them,

And then how you were able to take the next step in your life to get to this point of using social media and your radio station that you're on now to fulfill your dream.

Yeah,

Thank you for that,

Dr.

Cindy.

It's amazing because one of the things that I felt settled about my identity,

And I think that's also the reason why I truly resonate with the mantra Sat Naam because you know that particular,

I mean that particular phrase because it talks about truth is my identity and we want to remain in our truth while we're having to deal with the people around us.

And one of the things that truly helped me out there is realizing that when I speak from my truth and it's heartfelt,

It may not get me the immediate result or the immediate reaction that I want from the people around me,

But because I'm staying in my power sooner or later it will make sense to other people.

But I know that wasn't enough,

So I had to figure out a way where I will be able to communicate and connect without creating division because one of the things that has been a puzzle for a lot of my clients,

Especially in the showbiz industry,

Because a lot of my clients are also celebrities,

They keep telling me,

You know,

Raj,

You're really a different case because a lot of people,

They have to hide in the closet because they feel that if they come out,

Their careers will be jeopardized because first they did come out in public openly gay or openly lesbian,

But here you are.

They get you because you're being very authentic and you're talking about your being gay so easily on air and then that's the reason why you got the break on radio.

And one of the things that I want to emphasize there is I think sometimes when you're coming from your space of expressing your truth,

In a way it will turn off other people,

But it will also attract you the people who are ready for the vibration that you're expressing now and you are one of my biggest inspirations,

Dr.

Cindy,

Because when I was looking at your profile and I was listening to a lot of your podcasts,

I know that you also had your break on radio when it wasn't easy for women to get the breaks that they want on radio,

Especially in rock and roll.

I could just imagine what you went through at that time and to me,

I was just thinking to myself,

You know what,

The reason why you respect Dr.

Cindy a lot is because she had to overcome a lot of things that weren't really the norm at that time.

So I keep reminding myself that in my self-expression,

Although there are certain things that may not be comfortable in the beginning for me or for the audience that I'm addressing,

It's going to be a temporary thing.

And whatever gift that we're all hoping for to come to pass,

It will come in God's most wonderful way and time.

I hope I answered your question because the internet is breaking.

Oh no,

It was fine here and you did indeed.

And it's interesting how you've been able to integrate your dream now and are continuing to make contacts and supporting other people.

All the people I know,

You're probably one of the most supportive people who do enjoy supporting your connections.

I know with Dr.

Masters and the University of Metaphysics and you give a lot of your love back to what you have gotten.

And a lot of people do that.

So I have to say,

I really,

Really respect you in doing that and giving back so much from your heart and it comes from your heart.

It's able to see.

And I know you're continuing.

I do want to let people know how they can actually see some of your podcasts and maybe hear you on the radio.

And maybe you can let people know how to reach you through those avenues so they can find out more,

Reach out to you if they're looking for counseling.

Yeah,

Please look for me in Facebook.

It's www.

Facebook.

Com slash regmetaphysician.

And you can just look for search actually on Facebook,

Look for Practical Magic and I'll be able to respond easily.

One of the reasons why I'm keeping my social media presence to a minimum,

Like on Facebook,

It's because for me,

I want to be able to maintain quality personal connection.

And one of the things that I truly love doing is maintaining a minimum life.

To my friends,

Especially to a lot of my clients who like to promote my work because they're all in Instagram or Twitter or somewhere,

I tell them,

I'm just thinking of the social media thing like a mobile number or a landline number.

Isn't it that you only need one number for people to reach you?

So I'm so grateful that I have a technical team in.

Do you?

That's wonderful.

Well,

Good for you.

Good for you.

I mean,

I just learned the hard way.

I just keep trying and trying until something works.

But you know,

It's wonderful that you had enough self-worth that you got a technical team.

I applaud that in you.

I also applaud your energy into life and how you were able through all the challenges you faced to find the truth and how that did set you free and how you're able to find peace in that.

And as you continue to grow,

I just see such a wonderful future for you in what you're doing.

It's a real inspiration for me truly to see the passion which you give to your life.

So I just thank you so much,

Reverend Reg.

And thank you for joining me on the Peace Projects and Sat Nam.

Sat Nam,

Dr.

Cindy.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful energy.