This is a guided meditation on welcoming and listening to your shame.
If you haven't yet,
Head to my profile and listen to this short teaching to learn more about the gifts that shame brings.
As we begin this practice of welcoming our shame,
I invite you to find a comfortable position for your body.
You can either sit or lie down,
And just take a few moments here to settle your body into a relaxed state as much as possible.
Listen to your body,
Listen to your thoughts as they come up,
And let them know that you are going to attend to them,
But right now you're hoping that they give you space to enter into yourself at a deeper level.
It's usually helpful to focus on the breath and notice that as you feel the sensation of air coming in and air going out,
Your breath will become more steady and calm.
You don't need to try to breathe more deeply,
Just remember that you can always come back to that grounding sensation of air entering and leaving your body.
Take a moment to notice the connection between your body and the ground beneath you.
If at any point during the meditation you become overwhelmed by an emotion or a sensation,
Please do what you need to ground yourself and remind yourself that you are safe in this space.
If you become overwhelmed by an emotion,
You can try practicing the five finger grounding technique,
Which is putting up your five fingers,
Looking around the room and naming five things you can see,
And then naming four things you can hear,
Naming three things you can feel,
Naming two things you can smell,
And naming one thing you can taste.
As we dive into this exploration of your shame,
Please move forward gently and with ultimate compassion.
Shame can be really intense because of how it may have been weaponized against you.
So before you begin,
Ask yourself to be open to the idea that there is a way for you to connect with your own healthy shame.
Healthy shame can help you to live the life that you want according to your own ethics and moral code.
Also be ready with that compassion to offer to the parts of you that have been wounded by any imposed shame on you by other people,
And allow space for how that has shaped your behavior.
Allow space for parts of yourself that want to protect you from feeling shame,
And try your best to stay present to everything that's happening within you during the meditation.
Take a moment to reflect on a recent situation where you experienced feelings of shame.
Try not to choose a super intense situation,
Maybe like a 3 out of 10.
This could be a specific interaction,
A mistake you made,
Or a moment where you felt judged or criticized by others.
Allow yourself to recall this experience with gentle curiosity,
Without judgment or self-criticism,
And also from the perspective of,
That's in the past,
You're not in that moment now.
So as you allow yourself to get a little more immersed in this memory of shame,
Try to tune into your body in the memory,
And maybe even in this moment,
Your body is reacting as you start to feel the shame again.
See if you can notice any tension,
Or heat,
Or discomfort,
Or pain.
See if you can identify a specific part of your body where you feel this intensity of shame.
In this moment,
You're noticing,
You're observing.
You don't need to do anything about these sensations.
You are offering them welcome.
You are letting them know that you see how they live in your body,
And you want to get to know them.
If the energy of your shame feels uncomfortably strong at any point,
You can try just moving your body around to work with the energy,
Maybe clenching and opening your fists,
Or maybe putting a firm but comforting hand on a certain part of your body that is experiencing sensation.
Notice if your shame feels very intense.
You might start to feel like you're free-falling,
Or you might feel frozen,
Like you can't move.
You're stuck there.
This could be a sign that you could work on separating yourself from your shame.
So this is different from pushing it down,
Or just trying to ignore it.
It's seeing the shame.
But you could try to visualize the shame or ask the shame to step outside of your body so that you can see it in your mind's eye as outside of you.
You can tell your shame,
Hey,
I'm not you,
And you're not me.
You are a part of me,
And I'm wondering if you could give me a little space from you so that I can see you better.
So if you're able to imagine this shame separating from your body,
Or maybe you can even imagine like yourself pouring this shame out in front of you,
You might hear old messages or memories or sensations from the past,
Shameful incidents that you might have pushed down.
You might even see an image of a former authority figure,
Or again,
This specific memory.
This is a good time to tell your body that you're safe,
That you are not this shame.
And yet,
This shame is a part of you,
And your body wants to help you notice what needs to be healed.
If the shame feelings are really intense,
You can always return to your grounding practice like noticing your breath.
Notice if you're holding your breath,
If your breathing is shallow or rapid.
You don't need to try and change it,
Just notice and see if you can focus on what it feels like to bring air into your body and to let air leave your body.
And this might be enough just being present to the sensation.
If so,
You can stay here for as long as you need.
If you were able to create that bit of distance between you and your shame,
You can try a little bit of an exploration in connecting with your shame.
You can start by asking your shame where it came from.
Can you get curious about if there's any feeling of shame that is authentic to you?
Or do you notice that much or most of your shame is coming attached to an old story?
Remember that you don't have to figure everything out today.
This practice of working with shame may take a long time,
And I encourage you to take what comes up here to your therapist or some other supportive person in your life.
Please know that if you are stuck in a shame spiral,
It is not your fault.
This powerful emotion is actually working to protect you by trying to stop your forward movement as a precaution,
Because your system is not sure if you are acting in accordance to your moral code.
Your system wants to protect you from acting wrongfully or shamefully.
Remind yourself that it is okay and natural and normal to experience shame,
And that we want to be curious about the shame that is present within our systems.
As we start to move out of this experience,
Let's bring the body,
Noticing where you have your hands placed,
Maybe bringing them to your chest.
Noticing the support of the surface beneath you.
Tell your body thank you for teaching you about your shame,
And tell your shame thank you for letting you get to know it a bit,
If it did.
If it was hard to connect with shame,
Or you felt like there was a lot in the way,
You can also thank those parts for trying to protect you.
As we come to the close of this time in meditation,
If you would like,
Take your arms and wrap yourself in a hug of self-compassion.
You are not your shame,
And your shame is not you.
Your authentic and healthy shame is a messenger guiding you toward restoration and protection.
The shame that was imposed on you by someone in the past is not yours to hold,
And you're working on letting it go.
Thank yourself for allowing this exploration,
And remind yourself that you are worthy of compassion and understanding.
When you're ready,
Release yourself from your self-hug.
Gently open your eyes and move your body in a gentle way that helps you to release any residual feelings you might be carrying.
Take a moment to remind your entire system that you are here,
Now,
In this moment.
As you come out of the meditation,
Make a plan to do something that will rejuvenate you,
Or engage in some kind of playful activity to help you move out of the frozen feeling that shame can sometimes bring.
Thank you for being here today,
And the next time that you experience shame,
May your practice here serve you in that moment.
