This is a guided meditation on welcoming and listening to your feelings of hatred.
If you haven't yet,
Head to my profile and listen to this short teaching to learn more about the gifts that hatred brings.
In the contemplative Christian tradition,
There's a prayer called the welcoming prayer.
I would like to start out today by saying it.
I welcome everything that comes to me today because I know it's for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts,
Feelings,
Emotions,
Persons,
Situations,
And conditions.
Let's enter into the meditation by finding a comfortable seated or lying position,
Allowing your spine to be in a straight line and your shoulders to relax.
If you like,
You can take a few breaths,
Inhaling through the nose and exhaling through your mouth.
With each breath,
Feel your presence coming into this present moment.
Often when we begin to settle into meditation,
Our body starts talking to us.
So feel free to bring your attention to any sensations or discomfort in your body.
Notice which parts of your body are speaking to you and give them your attention.
And then see if you can gently soften your awareness of them.
Take a moment to notice the support of the surface beneath you.
And as we enter into the meditation,
Let's set the intention to observe yourself and trying to withhold judgment for anything you may experience during this time.
We're going to enter into the part of the meditation where we begin to work with our hatred.
And this may feel really uncomfortable because we are often told that we should not experience hatred.
So please tread lightly and remember that you are safe in this space to fully see yourself.
Bring to mind in this moment,
Someone who you feel hatred toward,
Someone who perhaps you cannot understand why they live life the way they do,
The choices they make,
Their actions in the world.
Remind yourself that hatred is a normal human emotion,
And we are here to help you.
That hatred is a normal human emotion,
And we are here to really explore our own hatred.
So allow this person to materialize in your mind's eye without judgment.
Now pay attention to your body as you remember and feel this hatred.
But sensations arise.
Notice any muscle tension,
Heat,
Or discomfort.
Notice if you're having a nervous system response.
Is there a specific place in your body where you feel the intensity of your hatred?
Just observing how our body is reacting in this moment.
Remember that hatred is an intense form of rage and fury.
So now I want to see if you can try to imagine your own personal boundary as an actual bubble around your body.
You can stretch out your arms and move them kind of in a circle motion around your body to help you visualize where your boundary would be.
And I want you to experiment with letting that fiery hatred out into that space between your body and your boundary.
And see if a little bit of that sensation eases in your body as you can visualize your hatred as separate,
Still a part of you.
See if instead of feeling this person's object of your hate inside of you,
If you can see them out in front of you.
This gives us a better ability to notice and observe.
If the energy of your hatred feels uncomfortably strong at any point,
You can try moving your arms or your body to work with that energy.
You can put a comforting hand on any place in your body that needs your attention.
You can yell,
You can walk around,
Move intuitively,
And just release some of that energy so that you can begin to feel a little more grounded while still in touch with this hatred.
After we've worked through some of that fiery energy,
You can now begin to examine what the target of your hate has been living out for you.
We are going to focus on what thoughts surface.
And instead of continuing to just think about this person,
This object of your hate,
Imagine kind of looking down and to the side where your shadow might be and start to name the specific flaws that your hate target might embody or express.
So go ahead and try to just name a sort of list in your head of things about this person that they embody that you hate.
Remember to work on observing with curiosity rather than placing any judgment on any of your thoughts.
See if you can talk directly now to your hatred and ask what it is that lives in your shadow that this person lives out.
Ask your hatred if it would be willing to relax so that you can get in touch with these deeper parts of yourself that need to be examined and that you want to understand.
Ask your hatred to trust that when you can bring this shadow into the light of day,
It will have a detoxifying effect.
It doesn't mean that you're all of a sudden going to turn into this person that you hate or act in ways that you don't want to.
It just means that you're going to allow yourself to see these parts of yourself,
Maybe for the first time in a long time.
Whatever comes up,
Whether it's your hatred saying,
No,
I don't want to step back,
Or maybe there are some other parts of yourself that are beginning to show themselves to you,
Begin to explore these inner parts with gentle curiosity.
Continue to notice any images or memories or sensations that arise as you explore these parts.
See yourself as a loving parent,
Offering each part unconditional love and acceptance,
Acknowledging its presence with kindness and compassion.
As you continue,
You can invite each part of yourself to share anything that it wants to share,
Listening with an open heart,
Allowing each part to express itself fully,
Noticing any insights or revelations that arise as you connect with each part of yourself.
As you continue to explore anything that's happening within you,
Bring your attention back to the part of yourself that holds the hatred,
The part that feels strongly when thinking of this person or this situation.
Check in with that part with compassion and curiosity,
Acknowledging its presence with kindness and compassion.
As you continue,
You can invite each part of yourself to share anything that it wants to share,
Noticing any images or memories or sensations that arise as you connect with each part of yourself.
As you continue,
You can invite each part of yourself to share anything that it wants to share,
Allowing each part of yourself to express itself fully,
Noticing any insights or revelations that arise as you connect with this part.
Feel free to take longer in this place.
You can pause the meditation,
But if you feel that you have come to a good stopping point for now,
Please thank your hatred for holding up a mirror to your soul and let it know that it's welcome to return anytime you lose your way.
If you are connecting with any other parts of yourself,
Thank them for letting you know how they're experiencing life and let them know that you are happy to check in with them at any time as well.
As we start to come to a close,
Bring your awareness back to the sensations in your body.
Notice any shifts or changes that have occurred as you've been exploring these parts of yourself.
Allow your body and your thoughts and your emotions to integrate what has happened today in the meditation.
See if you feel a greater sense of peace and wholeness.
If you'd like,
You can take your arms and wrap yourself in a hug of self-compassion.
You are not your hatred,
And your hatred is not you.
Your hatred is a messenger guiding you toward reintegration and wholeness.
Thank yourself for allowing this exploration and remind yourself that you are worthy of compassion.
When you're ready,
Release yourself from your self-hug.
Gently open your eyes and move your body in a way that helps you release any residual feelings you might be carrying.
Just remind your whole system that you are here in this present moment.
Try and plan to do something fun today that will bring you joy after this heavy work.
My hope for you is that the next time you experience hatred,
Your practice here will serve you in that moment.
