Patient Nurture

This meditation is designed to allow you to slow down and ask yourself what you need to process and heal from a difficult season. Although some parts of this meditation address postpartum mothers specifically, the concepts shared can be applied any time you need to process a difficult transition in your life. Learn about the process of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation, and how the Psalms give us permission to share honestly with God and others in every season.

Music Background by Bensound

Transcript

Thanks for joining me today for this guided meditation titled Patient Nurture.

The title comes from an affirmation that my yoga teacher shared with me.

It says,

I lovingly and patiently commit to nurturing myself.

This struck me because as a mom I spend a lot of time nurturing my children.

And this affirmation is a good reminder that I have the ability to nurture myself in the same way.

And to be patient with myself,

To show myself love,

To hold space for my own emotions.

I notice often that I have the ability to hold space for my kids emotions and big feelings.

And then when it comes to my own,

I really,

I don't like them.

And so this affirmation,

I lovingly and patiently commit to nurturing myself,

Is a really good one for me.

We'll begin with a brief relaxing body scan.

And then I'll explain a concept that has been very helpful for me in processing big life transitions like postpartum.

I'll share some examples that I found in the book of Psalms and the Bible that shows different ways that we can respond in challenging times.

And then I'll give you some space to process your own feelings.

Although I created this meditation specifically with postpartum moms in mind,

You can use this meditation anytime if you're going through a big life transition.

Or perhaps you have another difficult time that you're walking through.

The concepts here can be applied for anyone who's going through some sort of change or facing something that feels really difficult.

If there's anything here that doesn't speak directly to you,

If you're not in that postpartum season,

Feel free to let that part go and focus on the parts that do speak to you.

How Far Out You Are In Postpartum Depending on how far out you are in your postpartum,

It's very likely that you may be in some kind of physical pain.

You might feel more in tune with your body than ever before.

Or perhaps your labor and delivery experience involves some trauma and you might feel disconnected with your physical body.

Everyone's experience with pregnancy,

Labor,

And delivery is vastly different.

This guided meditation is meant to help you begin processing your experience.

Find yourself in a comfortable seated or reclined position.

You can lay on the floor or a bed or sit somewhere that is comfortable for you to stay for about 15 minutes.

Also,

Preferably,

If you are a new mom or if you have other people or children in your house,

It might be nice to ask someone else to watch the baby for the next 10 or so minutes or to find a place where you will not be interrupted so that you can enter fully into this experience.

Start to close your eyes and bring attention to your physical body.

Start to notice the weight of your body against the surface below.

Take a few deep breaths.

Get a sense for the space that your body takes up.

Feel with your eyes closed,

Feel a sense of where your body is in space.

As you take another breath,

Bring in more oxygen enlivening your body to the tips of your toes and your fingers.

And as you exhale,

Have a sense of relaxing more deeply.

See if you can consciously increase the lengths of your inhales and exhales so that you can slow down your mind and turn inward.

If it helps you to center in,

Feel free to inhale to the count of four and exhale to the count of four.

Bring yourself back to the physical sensation of your body either sitting in a chair or lying down.

Start to be aware of the points of contact that your body has with the surface beneath you and notice the support that you feel.

Remember that you are supported in this season.

Notice the weight of your body,

The pressure,

Any heat.

Notice your legs against the surface beneath you.

Any pressure,

Pulsing,

Heaviness,

Or lightness.

Notice your back.

Again,

Notice the support that you feel behind your back.

Next,

Bring your attention to your abdominal area.

If your stomach is tense,

Let it soften.

Let it go.

You're safe.

Take a breath.

Depending on your labor and delivery experience,

You may have pain in your abdomen or pelvic areas.

Make yourself aware of the pain and notice if you're clenching anywhere.

Work to release tension in the painful areas and send your breath there as a reminder to your body that you're committed to healing.

Notice your hands.

Are they balled up?

See if you can allow them to soften.

Notice your arms.

Feel any sensation in your arms.

Let your arms be heavy and let your shoulders be soft and drop away from your ears.

Notice your neck and throat.

Let them be soft.

Relax.

Breathe in deeply.

Soften your jaw.

Let your face and all facial muscles release.

And now,

Notice your entire body present and at ease.

Take one more breath.

Be aware of your whole body as best as you can.

Take a few breaths here in this space of awareness.

Once you've given the body the attention that it craves,

It can be easier to let physical sensations go and focus on something deeper.

Now that you're fully relaxed and aware of your body,

Let's turn inward to the mind.

I'm going to share a concept that comes from Walter Brueggemann's book,

The Spirituality of the Psalms.

I first heard about this concept on a podcast.

This was super helpful for me when I was processing my postpartum transition and really struggling with how many changes becoming a mom had brought into my life.

Physically,

Family-wise,

How I spent my time.

I was really struggling with my sense of self.

And learning about this concept was really helpful for me to give me a goal to work toward.

So let me explain.

There are three phases that we cycle through throughout our lives as a healthy way to process change.

And they are orientation,

Disorientation,

And reorientation.

I will explain more about each one and then give an example from the Psalms in the Bible.

For this,

I am using the message translation because I like how casual and personal that translation is.

Orientation is the state of settledness,

Peace,

Joy,

Contentment,

And trust.

It's the idea that everything is going well in your life and you're feeling good.

You might find yourself here in this space after giving birth.

Maybe you're filled with thankfulness and love upon the arrival of your baby and it's pure joy.

An example of this type of prayer from the Psalms is found in Psalm 145.

The psalmist says,

I could write a book full of the details of your greatness,

God.

The fame of your goodness spreads across the country.

Your righteousness is on everyone's lips.

God is all mercy and grace,

Not quick to anger.

Is rich in love.

God is good to one and all.

Everything God does is soaked through with grace.

And maybe that Psalm speaks to your experience right now.

Perhaps you had a traumatic birth experience or you're struggling with postpartum depression or overwhelm.

Or perhaps you have health issues with you or your baby.

At this point in time,

You might be in a state of disorientation.

This is where I found myself after I had my first baby.

This occurs when something destructive,

Difficult,

Or dark happens in your life.

You may feel lost or that you don't know your identity anymore.

In this time,

We can also find Psalms that are honest about suffering and go as far as to even blame God.

These Psalms give us the permission to be brutally honest with ourselves,

With others,

And with God.

We have permission to throw anything we want at God.

We have permission to feel anger and grief and complicated feelings.

And to be able to present yourself honestly to God and vulnerable to other people is an act of faith and trust.

So it is okay if you find yourself in a disorienting place after your birth experience.

Psalm 13 shows us one way to pray during these times.

It says,

Long enough God,

You've ignored me long enough.

I've looked at the back of your head long enough.

Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble and lived with a stomach full of pain.

Long enough my arrogant enemies had looked down their noses at me.

The last phase,

Reorientation,

Is not a returning back to orientation.

This can be hard to accept,

But things can never fully go back to the way that they were before.

We can't unknow things that we've learned,

And each experience changes the way that we see the world and changes us on a deep level.

We can still choose to cling to hope and faith even though we have walked through darkness.

Psalm 40 gives us an example of this kind of prayer.

It says,

I waited and waited and waited for God.

At last,

God looked.

Finally,

God listened.

God lifted me out of the ditch,

Pulled me from deep mud.

God stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip.

God taught me how to sing the latest praise song to our God.

More and more people are seeing this.

They enter the mystery,

Abandoning themselves to God.

Wherever you find yourself today,

It's okay.

You can feel however you need to feel.

Motherhood comes with a variety of feelings and challenges.

You have permission to hold all of those feelings and tension.

You can be joyful about the birth of your baby while grieving the loss of freedom.

You can value breastfeeding while struggling to learn a new skill.

You can celebrate the support of your partner while mourning changes and this new stage in your relationship.

I'm going to give you some time now to just let yourself feel exactly how you feel.

As you have thoughts and feelings come up,

Notice them without judgment.

Don't push anything down that feels too scary or too big to deal with.

The only way through this season is acknowledgement and gentleness.

So offer yourself the gift of patient nurture.

As Richard Rohr says,

Everything must be reconciled and accounted for in the spiritual realm.

Nothing just goes away.

I encourage you to take this time to allow yourself to feel and process however you need to.

Trust that you are going to move through this with grace.

Feel free to flip open to the Psalms and use some words there to express yourself.

Or just use your own words to express how you're feeling right now.

Thank you for listening.

I hope this meditation brought you some peace and space to process.

I also encourage you to follow up with journaling.

And a step further would be to have conversations with people in your life who you trust.

Whether that's a friend,

A partner,

Or other family member,

Or a counselor or therapist.

Postpartum can be a difficult season,

But I know that you can walk through it with strength and find yourself in that reorientation phase.

You are loved and you are supported.

Reviews

Notice things and are grateful but also still learning how to process the journey fully