Hello and welcome and today's word or phrase is saying no.
How often do you say yes when you really want to say no?
Do you find yourself over committed,
Drained or resentful because you struggle to set boundaries?
Saying no is one of the most powerful skills we can develop both at work and outside and it's not about rejection or selfishness,
It's about prioritising what truly matters and protecting your time,
Energy and well-being.
And I'm not suggesting we start saying no to everything but that we learn to discern between things that really matter to us and things perhaps that really don't.
So please ask yourself where in your life do you need to say no more often?
How's your time management at work?
How often are you doing what your partner or children want to do?
What might change in your sense of well-being and your happiness levels if you were able to start saying no a little bit more at the right time?
Warren Buffett,
The legendary investor once said,
The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.
He prioritises only the most important opportunities,
Avoiding distractions.
Steve Jobs was famous for eliminating unnecessary products and distractions,
Saying no to countless ideas so he could focus on innovation.
His ability to say no led to the streamlined revolutionary Apple products we know today.
Studies show that people who set boundaries experience lower stress levels,
Improve relationships,
Higher self-esteem and often,
In my experience,
Higher productivity.
Neuroscientists have found that overcommitment leads to mental exhaustion and decreased cognitive function.
Imagine that for a moment.
And did you know that the word no is one of the first words toddlers learn?
Because instinctively,
We know how to protect our autonomy before societal conditioning takes over.
I find that one fascinating.
So three areas I invite you to think about today around this word of saying no.
One is to simply practice saying no without any form of guilt.
Next time someone asks you for the time,
Pause and ask yourself,
Do I really want to do this?
If the answer is no,
Say it firmly but kindly.
And maybe you find that example a bit extreme,
But think of other situations where somebody might ask for something and just practice saying no.
You may even want to do this with friends or family in a safe setting where you actually explain to them beforehand that you need to get comfortable saying no and so warn them beforehand that you're going to practice from now on.
Whether it's making a cup of tea,
Going out for dinner when you don't feel like it,
Just get used to saying no more often than you did before and see how it feels.
Can you go from guilt to liberation?
Number two,
Use soft no's when needed.
If a direct no feels really difficult,
Then try,
I can't commit to that right now or that doesn't work for me at the moment.
And that's of course a very nice,
Polite way to say things and very often in business when we look at how to say no,
We say no and we follow up with an alternative.
So if somebody says,
Do you want to go out for dinner tonight and I don't feel like it,
I might say,
No,
I'm sorry,
That doesn't work for me,
But I'd love to go out for dinner with you next week if that works for you.
And there we have reached out a hand to keep the balance there.
And number three,
Remember that no is also a complete sentence.
You don't need to justify everything or over-explain your decisions and some cultures are better than that than others.
Certainly in the UK,
Just saying no can feel rather rude and rather abrasive,
But does it have to?
Just play with that one.
Could you say no to certain things without sounding overly direct?
That's my challenge to you today.
And so we're going to end on a quote by Josh Billings.
Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.
