Hello,
Dear one.
When I was a teen,
There was a place I'd get stuck a lot.
I'd get tripped up on,
Wait,
Did I do that right?
Or did I do that wrong?
Or maybe I'd get stuck striving to make sure people saw that I was good,
Really trying hard to avoid being seen as bad,
All the while having this quiet sense that I have to work hard to be good because I'm covering up.
I don't want people to see something in me that's inherently flawed.
So I spent a lot of time bouncing back and forth from wait,
Right,
Wrong,
Good,
Bad.
Can you relate to getting stuck in a similar duality?
So when we talk about duality here,
We're talking about how the mind sees things in terms of black and white,
Or good or bad,
Or this or that.
The conditioned mind,
The mind that's shaped by society,
Culture,
The mind of limitation,
Small mind,
Habitually sees things in terms of opposites,
This versus that,
Black versus white.
Meditation allows us to experience what's beyond this limited thinking,
This limited perception.
I wanted to offer a brief meditation that gives you a chance to explore this a little bit with the intention to offer a way out,
A way through.
So take a minute with me now to visualize any time in your life recently that you got stuck in right,
Wrong,
Or good,
Bad,
This,
That.
Some duality to see if something naturally arises.
Probably best not to pick something supercharged,
Something where a lot of emotion might arise as you visualize it and it'll be difficult to even stay present to.
Pick something a little more neutral and kind of mundane,
Everyday-ish.
One place that sometimes people like to explore is something as simple as,
You know,
Should I stay or should I go?
And if you know that song and you sing it,
You get extra points,
By the way.
So should I stay or should I go?
Picture yourself on the should I stay side.
What are all the things you say to yourself if you're on that side of the duality?
So in your case,
You're going to plug in whatever duality you came up with.
It might not be should I stay or should I go.
It might be did I do that right or did I do that wrong?
But if you're picturing the things you say to yourself on one side of the duality,
Like should I stay,
You're going to go through all the things you say to yourself when you're on that side of the duality.
So here you are visualizing yourself identified with the part of you who wants to stay.
What do you say to yourself about why you should stay?
So it might be things like,
If I leave,
I'll be a coward.
Or there are really no good reasons to leave.
Or I'm afraid to leave.
Or it's better here.
Next,
See yourself on the other side of the duality again,
Whichever one you chose to work with for this meditation.
So for the example I'm working with,
The other side would be I should go.
So just notice what kinds of things you say to yourself when you're in I should go.
It's going to be things like,
If I stay,
I'll be a coward.
Or I'm afraid to stay.
Or it's better there.
So just let whatever's arising arise and notice what's here.
These types of dualities are endless.
Why?
Because when we're looking through the lens of duality,
Everything seen appears to be dualistic.
What's important about this guided meditation is to see what you say to yourself when you're on one side of the duality,
Then explore what you say to yourself when you're on the other side.
This whole perception of duality is maintained through self-talk,
Through what you say to yourself within the conditioned mind.
So recognizing this self-talk helps us recognize when we're stuck,
When we're caught in this perception.
You might have noticed that in the example offered now,
The self-talk is actually the same.
It's just the flip side of the argument.
And if that's not what it feels like for you as you explore your own self-talk,
That's okay.
What we're fleshing out here is what it feels like to be on one side and then the other.
What does it feel like in this moment to bounce from this to that and then back to this and then to that?
What happens in your body as you bounce back and forth from one side to the other side,
Back to the other side,
And then back again?
What happens with the energy in your body?
What's the result of pinging between the sides of seeking and resisting,
Of identifying with this process of thrashing back and forth?
When we're focused on the this versus that,
Whatever your content is,
We're often so focused on the this and then the that that we miss who we feel ourselves to be in that process of flinging around,
Thrashing about.
Who do you feel yourself to be when you're stuck in this way,
When you're bouncing back and forth?
Bouncing back and forth in this way keeps this sense of I am separate,
I have to figure it out,
I have to fill in the blank.
Maybe it's I have to be good in order to survive.
I have to be likable.
I have to get the right answer.
But rather now than focusing on the this side versus that side,
Bring all of your loving attention to that part of you that gets stuck bouncing back and forth.
Really see this part of you.
Can you see how innocent they are?
Can you see how much they deserve to be freed from the battle of right versus wrong,
Black versus white,
Good versus bad?
Can you see how much this part of you deserves to simply be and live,
Flow with life,
Be at ease,
And have fun with what is,
Create with what is,
Dance with what is?
What kinds of things might you want to say to the part of you who gets so stuck?
What kind of loving encouragement might you offer?
How might you support this part of you in remembering that there's a whole universe beyond this versus that?
Zoom out from the duality now so fully that it's like a tiny ping-pong match in a very faraway room.
You don't have to try to get rid of it,
But you're not inside it.
Because in actuality,
Your truest identity is much bigger,
Much faster.
Your truest identity is as vast as the universe.
So feel yourself now as the universe while the game of duality goes on.
You are the universe.
