Top of the Ferris Wheel

A reflection on the thrills of first joys as well as the quiet enjoyments that come with age. Recorded in East Hampton, New York in 2016.

Transcript

Welcome to In the Deep.

I'm your host,

Katherine Ingram.

A few weeks ago,

My brother told me of a glorious night he had had with some of his grandchildren.

The family had gone to a night carnival in their area,

And my brother had taken one of the children,

His three-year-old granddaughter,

My great niece,

Up on the Ferris wheel for her first ride ever on such a thing.

The Ferris wheel stopped at the top of its round,

And the two of them were sitting there under a bright moon.

When she turned to her grandfather,

And with her beautiful angelic face just all lit up and her blue eyes blazing,

She says to my brother,

Baba,

I never want this night to end.

It is the intensity of a first joy,

An original joy.

And for such a young person as she,

There are countless of those ahead at different stages and ages of life.

Of course,

For older people,

Those first-time joys are few and far between,

And even then,

Usually mixed with poignancy in the knowledge of their impermanence.

It's why adults delight in the company of children,

Because as we watch them experience something for the first time,

Or even the tenth time in enthusiasm,

Our own vestigial memories and impulses and experience of wonder are triggered.

It's not only our delight in seeing them happy,

It's also our own delight in being reminded what that innocent happiness feels like.

I recently played hide and seek some months ago with a few of my great-nieces,

And it was the most fun I'd had for ages.

I felt genuinely scared in the exciting way a child might feel as you're hoping not to be found by the seeker.

And when it was my turn to be the seeker,

I felt this intensity of focus and looking for my prey,

You know,

Having to think of all the possible hiding places that we hadn't yet used.

It took me back to playing hide and seek in yards of long ago,

The smell of fresh-cut grass,

The steamy heat of summer,

The thrill of the chase.

But as an older person,

It's not likely that playing hide and seek too many times in a week will retain its thrill,

Even with the little ones around.

One is forced to find other,

More simple and nuanced delights.

There's a tendency we might feel as we age to experience life without its former wonders as a previously brilliant canvas that is now rapidly fading in color.

This can lead to a feeling of ennui or even depression.

So how to counterbalance this?

How to enliven one's appreciation of existence when there's the knowledge that the thrills are more behind than ahead,

And that what is more likely ahead may be the hard times.

This takes strong intention.

It is important to acknowledge that,

Because one can let the mind drift along and hope that circumstances will perk one up the way circumstances used to do when we were young and galloping along to our next adventure.

But it doesn't work that way.

When we no longer rely on circumstances for our happiness,

It takes intention to focus on appreciation,

On gratitude,

On simply being fully present to whatever the moment you are experiencing.

The mind will wander along dark alleys,

Given half a chance,

And there are plenty of those to be found,

Especially as one pays attention to what is happening in the world or even to one's own aging body.

It's as though the mind,

Left to its own devices,

Will scan the horizon for something that's wrong or something that's missing or something that once was and is no more.

It takes a clear focus to bring the attention into direct experience and to find there as much contentment as possible.

Get used to focusing on the simpler joys and become clever in noticing them.

They're scattered about in multitudes in your ordinary life.

The mind may have a tendency to obsess over problems in life,

But with a change of mental habit,

The mind can become accustomed to focusing instead on the small delights.

Numerous studies have shown that when people participate in happiness experiments,

They discover that it's not the big events that raise their happiness set point.

In other words,

We all have a sort of set point of like a general level of,

You could say,

Our sense of well-being.

So for instance,

Someone might get married or win the lottery or get a great job promotion,

Any number of things that will spike the happiness set point,

It'll spike up.

But then their happiness will revert back to the previous conditioned set point where it was before the event.

It's only when people begin to focus on and savor many small joys throughout the day and to do this in a staying way that their happiness set point,

Their sense of well-being increases.

And these small joys can be things as simple as lingering over a cup of coffee or having a chat with a dear friend or sitting quietly and listening to the birds or even finding satisfaction in cleaning the kitchen.

Your own examples of small pleasures are unique to you and your intention on focusing on them will make the difference as to whether your life feels like a march to the grave or is a deepening contentment of many small joys,

Connections,

And also understandings about life which have a certain pleasure in and of themselves,

These insights,

These free samples.

We may not have so many more of those breathless highs,

Those crazy exhilarations,

Those that sense I never want this night to end.

That's okay.

And to be expected and accepted,

Subtler and equally profound joys are near at hand.

This has been In the Deep.

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If you'd like to know more about my work,

Book a private session or make a tax-deductible donation for the ongoing production of the podcasts,

Please visit KatherineIngram.

Com.

Till next time.

Reviews

Sublime as usual 🙏🏾🙏🏾 thank you!!

An excellent reflection on gratitude and contentment.

Lovely… a joy reminder! 🙏🏻✨❤️

Thank you for the reminder that we have the power to recognize the small things around us to change our understanding and appreciation of happiness.

LOVE this simple reminder!!! So profound and useful!

Enjoyed listening. Thank you 💜

Beautiful. Thank you.

Beautiful thought

A small joy that I'll savor.

Great talk!!!! Thank you

Beautiful. Thank you.

Excellent! Just what I needed to hear. Many thanks. Namaste. 🌻🙏🌻🐬

What a wonderful and blessed reminder to savor the small joys and smile.

Want to hear more from the app.

Delightful reminder!!! 🎉💕

Thank you it's so lovely explain and changes your perception

So perfect timing. I really needed it in a dark place of late and needed reminding of the beauty that life is.

Excellent for those in the third generation of life or getting close. Empty nesters rejoice, take a listen.