Grief And The Mustard Seed

Catherine tells the story of the Buddha’s suggestion to a woman who had come to him in the hopes of having him bring her dead baby back to life. He gave her a task to do first, the completion of which gave her understanding of how ubiquitous is death, that it can come at any age, and that it knocks on every door.

Reviews

So I was listening to this on my long Halloween walk in 2024, so this was recorded about 4 years ago during the pandemic. I feel for everyone, especially the lady who had lost her husband- my heart has already been cracked open, and it was bleeding for her. In these last few years gone by, I hope she's found more peace. I hope she doesn't wake up in panic and anxiety - as I know what that feels like too. It seems there's no way around grief in this life - if you love or have loved. It's so hard.
Sometimes people bring it on themselves. I broke up with or pushed away my girlfriend of 4 years. I deeply, deeply regret it. We met at work at the end of 2019, and isolated and bonded during the pandemic, and after. The way things are now, there is literally nothing I can do to repair anything because she went No Contact. I love this woman more than I've ever loved anyone in my 60 years on this earth, and all I can do is heal my childhood trauma wounds and attachment style, and try to keep learning and growing I guess, and try to stay fit and healthy. Some days the grief the pain hits so hard that I become near dysfunctional and cannot work - like yesterday and most of today. It might be a good thing that I'm working freelance now - although no benefits, or I'd be back in counseling. And all the sliding scale clinics are full up at thus time.
I've been praying, meditating, journaling, and recently had to get on Wellbutrin, because it's too much. I've never been married, but believe if I had done more things right, I could have married her. She's been married and has 3 grown kids, 2 Grandkids, and another Grandchild on the way. She honored me by calling me "Saba" which means Grandfather in Hebrew - and I could have been that too.

Lost my fur baby of 15 years today. This reminds me that loss sucks, but I’m not alone in my grief.