Home Shelter Week 2: Self-Reflection Time

What can we do to focus our minds and maintain good mental health in the midst of this situation? Thanks to the amount of time we have in our homes, it is now where we can develop the best of each one of us. We can focus on different activities that we thought were lost in our lives due to lack of time and that can comfort us, such as painting a picture, gardening, reading a book, learning new skills, and creating habits that help us lead a long and more harmonious life.

Transcript

During this second week of confinement,

What do you think is happening to the relationships,

To people's anxiety,

To people's fears?

What do you think has happened during the night?

Are they able to sleep?

What is the quality of their sleep?

How they are doing with their self-care practices?

How they are doing with shopping?

All of this we are going to explore in this summary of the second week of confinement from San Jose from the Silicon Valley in California.

I am a clinical psychologist.

I have been helping people with anxiety,

Trauma,

And depression for the past 27 years in Mexico and California.

And this is getting interesting,

So stay with me because we are going to explore all of this.

Living in harmony is possible if you know your emotions and how to handle them.

I am Dr.

Carmen Roman and I will share with you the current psychology by myself or by interviewing experts who will inspire you.

Learn how to live a life of fullness and how to recover your emotional harmony.

Welcome to Emotions in Harmony.

Hey,

Welcome back.

Welcome back,

My dear listeners.

Thank you for being a faithful listener and for staying here and providing some compagnology just by listening.

You are part of my tribe here,

Part of the Amigos in Harmony.

Yes,

We are in the second week confined in San Jose,

California.

We can go out to do some shopping and going for a walk,

But that's it.

We are confined to our homes.

We are working from home,

The ones that we can.

And,

Oh my God,

Fear and anxiety and insomnia and all of these emotional challenges are spiking,

Are going to the roof.

As I told you,

I am doing online therapy,

But also I am doing three sessions,

Three or four sessions during the week that are free for Spanish speakers to help to elevate the anxiety during this season.

And well,

First one,

We start with two women and then we end up with 10.

And this week we start like with those 10 because once they join,

They don't want to leave us.

And we are probably in the 15 more or less.

We finish the week with 15.

And this is what I am learning.

I am learning that we don't like change.

It's very difficult as humanity to embrace change.

And those people,

There is always somebody,

Someone,

There is always somewhere someone that embraces change faster than others.

So those people who are loving change or embracing the change are enjoying themselves more.

Those people who are more resourceful and creative,

They are having a better time.

This is part of my observations.

This week the insomnia got even worse because now it's getting really,

Like reality is hitting,

Really.

We are getting news nearby.

It's not like any news in another part of the world.

It's news in my zip code,

News in my neighborhood,

People that I already know that are getting the virus.

And it's so real.

Like my favorite,

Dr.

Laura Ramos and my favorite therapist say,

I already have the coronavirus twice during the night only to wake up and realize that is nothing.

Yeah,

I got it twice and it was nothing.

It was only in my mind.

And that is true.

So please,

Please remember this.

You don't have the coronavirus until you get it.

Repeat after me.

I don't have the coronavirus until I actually get it in my body.

Please don't let your brain tell you otherwise.

Why?

Because the biggest problem is not actually the virus because actually you may get it and you may be okay.

The good news says that more than a hundred thousand people already got the coronavirus and got better and were able to survive and did very well.

But we focus on reading bad news.

We have the tendency of remembering those news that are bad.

The number of people that are dead,

The number of people that are not getting services in the hospital,

The number of people that blah,

Blah,

Blah.

So don't do that to your brain.

This is the time to eat better,

To do exercise.

This is the time to sleep when you can,

Go early to sleep if you can,

Stay late probably if you can,

That's okay,

Not that late,

But you know,

Some more sleeping.

This is the time to practice your breathing exercise.

Breathe,

Breathe,

Go for a walk if you can because we want you to stay physically and emotionally healthy.

They say that we are three weeks confined.

We are in the second week.

We are almost there.

And the truth is we don't know.

We don't know if this is going to be extended.

We don't know because all we know is that we are cooperating to help the hospitals,

Not to have all of us at the same time.

Yeah.

Another wave that I am noticing is people chopping compulsively,

Going and chop and collect food and items just because they think they are never going to have it again.

Please avoid that if possible.

Is it possible that you buy whatever you need for the week or for the next two weeks and that's it?

And you don't need to accumulate toilet paper.

You don't need to accumulate a bunch of food.

You don't need to accumulate that much because actually it goes in reverse.

We made things more expensive and we make things unavailable and then we read social media and then go back and forth and we create this kind of nightmare for each other.

So think about breathing,

Taking one day at a time and one hour at a time.

It's actually one by hour.

It is okay if you have a panic attack.

It is okay if you get in your mind with all of this negative thinking and think,

Oh my God,

All my family is going to die.

I cannot travel to see my family.

Oh my God,

I don't haven't seen my friend in so many years.

I may not see them again.

Oh my God,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

That's okay.

Just calm down,

Breathe and tell to your brain,

That's okay,

We can handle whatever comes,

We can handle it.

And you say,

Carmen,

That's not true.

I cannot handle it.

Or let me tell you,

Yes,

You can handle it because probably you handle more difficult situations in the past.

Probably you already overcome so many challenges that this is going to be probably one of them only.

Yeah?

Not the challenge,

Not the biggest one,

Probably not.

And what you can do for yourself is actually recognize that this is a very sensitive time,

That it's okay to have anxiety.

It's okay not to sleep.

And then you can just relax and paint something,

Write your journal,

Clean the house or something.

In the night I recommend you to do something that doesn't require to be fully awake.

It's okay to talk to the family about what happened in an emergency.

Like talking about what room we are going to use if somebody gets the virus,

How we are going to work with that around that.

Talking about your family members outside your house or your friends or your neighbors,

How we can handle stuff.

Yeah?

Like if I need to be taken to the hospital,

Please take care of my cat or my dog or call my daughter or call this family member of mine or,

You know,

These accommodations that are actually is a prevention only.

And it's okay if families disagree in the level of self-care because you may get very stressed because other family members,

They don't want to respect.

And let's say,

Okay,

We disagree here.

I want to be totally confined.

I don't want to see anybody.

And you just want to go out and have fun with your neighbors.

Just please know that by you not following the rules are putting myself and the rest of the family at risk.

So it's important that the other family member knows that everybody is at risk when one of them is at risk.

But if there is other neighbors or friends that they are not taking care of themselves,

Just,

Just breathe.

It's difficult to be respectful.

I know it's very difficult.

I think sometimes this sense of helplessness or this sense of lack of hope or lack of faith comes from the lack of information.

Sometimes it's very difficult to comprehend how much I am saving.

Am I am really saving something?

Am I am really,

Is it making sense that I am here in my home losing income and not doing my normal life and I am really helping somebody?

So that is when you can go and search for news to answer your questions.

When you open your social media,

When you open your internet,

Please go with questions in mind and go and answer that.

Look for that particular answer.

So you don't need to spend hours and hours in social media or in the internet.

Because if you go without questions or just blindly,

You are going to read whatever is there.

You are going to consume whatever is there.

And trust me,

In 30 minutes you will be feeling so much anxiety because social media is all about enhancing the problem.

So look for sources,

Places,

Etc.

Like goodnewsnetwork.

Org is one of the networks that can focus on good news.

What are the solutions?

Yes,

We are talking.

Look for good news.

Wish to your friends and family,

Please.

Talk to your friends,

Talk to your family,

Especially the positive ones.

And talk to the ones who are not as positive when you feel positive,

When you feel like you can handle that conversation.

It is okay not to call them all the time.

Keep your schedule as normal as possible.

You can wake up early,

Get ready,

Get pretty,

Get out your pajamas,

Get your hair,

Your makeup,

Whatever,

And you get to be in Zoom or in video conferencing most of the day.

So it is helpful to make it like a normal day of work.

And probably for some of you it's a day of work because you are going to be in meeting after meeting after meeting.

Probably for some of you,

You need to be more with your children at home and be more creative and more playful and more resourceful.

So creativity is extremely important because creativity is going to give you an outlet.

You can paint,

You can draw,

You can play,

You can do something,

Yeah,

With your time.

And you have children,

For example,

You can visit the virtual museums,

You can visit national parks virtually,

You can play something that together you can bring all childhood games in the time that we didn't have internet,

For example.

Creativity is important.

And when you don't feel that scared of that with that much anxiety,

When you feel a little more restful,

When actually you feel calm and more peaceful,

Because trust me,

There is on and off.

There are times of the week that you are going to feel that way.

When you feel that,

Please ask yourself,

What did I do in the last 12 months that is helping me to be in the better shape that I am now?

Like I have a roof,

I have food,

Or I have,

I mean,

I have shelter,

I have food,

I have friends,

I have family.

What I did good in the last 12 months that is helping me to have all of this right now?

Isn't that a beautiful question?

Because doesn't matter what you're lacking.

Some of the women that I am working is like,

I'm not able to pay the rent,

I am not able to have the food.

Yes.

But actually probably in the last 12 months,

You learn how to use email and now you can apply through email to some organization or you learn to use Zoom or you learn to use something.

Yeah.

You learn to listen to a podcast.

Probably for many of my listeners,

A lot of them learn how to listen to a podcast in the last 12 months.

What did you learn or did in the last 12 months that are helping now?

That is helping now.

And the other question is what you can be grateful even in the limited circumstances that you are in now,

What you can be grateful for?

That's a very beautiful spiritual question.

Can I be grateful?

Can I love even more?

Can I forgive?

Can I be compassionate?

Can I be wise?

And we need wisdom this time to see what news we are going to replicate,

To share,

What information we are bringing to social media,

What we are sharing with our families,

With friends and family,

How we can celebrate small things,

How we can help each other.

Is the second week and also a lot of act of kindness.

I am witnessing a lot of acts of kindness.

People start thinking how to help,

How to be compassionate with doctors and nurses and psychologists too.

They always say doctors and nurses,

But trust me,

We psychologists,

We are working extremely hard as well in the hospitals as well.

What we can do for people in the medical field so they can do their job better.

What we can do for people who are distributing food right now.

What we can do probably to create a better business for the future,

Even though I am not in business right now,

What I can do for my business in the future.

This is the time for reflection.

This is the time for inner growth.

And I wish for you that in this time of confinement,

You find yourself.

I don't know.

I cannot tell you how many weeks we are going to be here,

But I wish you the best and just breathe,

Breathe.

Talking about breathing,

I have,

If you speak Spanish,

I have something called el reto para la libertad emotional,

Which is a challenge to achieve emotional freedom.

And this is in Spanish,

Seven days,

One day,

Every day for seven days you get a lesson.

It's a course,

It's a mini course for seven days.

And you can download it right now,

Just go emotionsinharmony.

Org slash reto.

And that is in Spanish.

And probably by the time you are listening this podcast,

Because we are working the next couple of days on this,

We will have it in English as well,

Because in Spanish has been really successful and people start asking if they can share it with their friends and family who don't speak Spanish.

So we translated it into English and those are seven basic,

Very basic steps.

Listen to me,

Basic doesn't mean simple.

Basic means essential,

Very essential steps for you to work in your emotional freedom,

In your calmness,

In you to be anxiety free during this difficult time.

Also emotionsinharmony.

Org slash challenge,

And you are going to see there the landing page so you can subscribe and you will get one email per day for seven days.

And this is completely free because we can help each other.

We can help each other.

This is our little gift from Emotions in Harmony.

And also if you speak Spanish and want to join the meetings,

The free meetings,

Use emotionsinharmony.

Org slash groupo de apoyo.

We are going to have all of this in the show notes and join us.

And as long as we are confined,

We are going to keep meeting in these sessions that I am providing for free.

Online therapy,

I am providing online therapy right now.

So feel free to call me if you are in California or in Mexico.

And we have more than 200 episodes in between the YouTube and the podcast.

We have 200 episodes.

If you prefer Spanish,

The podcast is called Harmony Emotional.

Go there and we have some content there.

And there are some Spanish speaking episodes here as well.

Whatever you need.

Please do whatever you need to stay emotionally healthy during these very difficult times.

Let's not make it more difficult for us.

Let's make it easy.

Yeah,

Easy.

Okay.

Well,

It has been a pleasure talking to you.

Send me an email,

Send me a text,

Go to our social media,

Whatever you need.

Yes.

Bye for now.

We have reached the end of another episode of the podcast Emotions in Harmony.

See you the next week.

Visit www.

Emotionsinharmony.

Org where you can subscribe,

Find the notes and be in direct contact with me.

Thanks for listening.