You Can Do Anything, But You Can't Do Everything

In this episode, Candice dives into the idea of "you can do anything, but not everything". She explains how she hasn't been showing up for herself and making some really bad decisions that have been holding her back. Then, she gives you some ways you can find time in your schedule to make sure that you're focused on what you truly want and taking action towards it every single day.

Please note: This talk does contain explicit language and is not suitable for children.

Transcript

Hey guys,

Just a fair warning before you dive in that this podcast does contain explicit language.

Hello beautiful humans.

So today I am here with a super important message.

And what I'm hoping will be a quick but insightful episode of the podcast.

So you can do anything,

Absolutely anything that you want to do in life.

But you cannot do everything.

And this is a lesson that I'm learning myself.

Especially on days like today.

Like today I'm feeling like on fire and I want to create and I want to draw and I want to do so for my business and I want to coach and I want to do this and that and the other thing.

And you know I'm realizing that there's a limit to what I can do.

Maybe not today.

Because today I genuinely feel limitless and I want to sit in that energy and soak it up and really make the most of it.

And that's great.

And there are days like that for everybody.

But what about the days when I don't feel like that.

But the pressure to create and show up and coach and teach and you know be a partner and be a friend and everything like that.

What about those days when everything gets to be just a little bit too much.

And I think those are the most important days because this is when we learn balance.

Whether we learn it well or not is a whole other discussion.

But I mean we do have to see the value in balance because today is a magical and fantastic day.

I'm super high energy super high vibe.

I could conquer the world today and I'm going to.

I am going to conquer the world today.

I am going to conquer my world at least.

But I'm going to create and I'm going to share and I'm going to be outgoing because I feel that way.

And that is beautiful.

But there is the other side of this energy which is needing rest and needing to slow down and be present and be chill.

And it's really funny because when I feel limitless and I want to create I'm like yes.

Oh my God this energy I'm in it.

I feel it.

I'm on fire.

I want to go go go go go.

And it's amazing.

But when my body is on the other side and it's saying you need to slow down you need to rest.

Then I'm like no no no no no.

But I need to be limitless and I need to be on fire and I need to be creating.

And it just doesn't work that way.

So yeah I think that this is really important.

We need to realize that we can do anything anything at all anything our little hearts desire.

But we can't do everything.

One of the things that I have learned and I'm still learning and will continue to learn probably for the rest of my life is that I need to cut myself some slack.

I need to cut myself some slack.

I'm doing the best that I can.

I'm showing up every day to the best of my ability.

I'm taking a small step forward every single day and every time I show up I show up a little bit better than I did last time.

What fucking more do I want from myself.

And then if you're in a similar boat what more do you want from yourself.

How can you ask any more of someone than showing up as your absolute best you know or as their absolute best.

And I think sometimes we forget and I've read this recently but talk to yourself as if you were like a child.

So like if five year old you was sitting in front of you you know just a little human just doing the best that they can.

And they are showing up and giving their best.

Would you berate them.

No you absolutely wouldn't because you're an intelligent human being and you would never talk to a child like that.

And that makes perfect sense.

Like when we think about that the law our logical minds are like yeah yeah no OK of course I wouldn't do that it's just a kid.

But that little kid that five year old version of us is still inside of us and it's still affected by the decisions that we make today.

And so we really need to like chill the fuck out and recognize that we really are doing the best that we can most of the time.

Now if you're on the other side of this and you know that you're not showing up and you know that you're not doing the best that you can.

You still need to cut yourself some slack because maybe you're in a moment where you need to honor yourself in a different way.

You need to honor yourself by giving yourself time and space and rest and not by doing more.

And so that time space and rest is showing up to the best of your ability in that moment.

Right.

You know I always talk about tips and I'm just going to dive right in because I want this episode to be as short and sweet as possible.

But how do you figure out OK I want to do all these things.

How can I figure out what exactly I want to do or better that I need to do to move the needle or to take the next right step in the direction that I want to go.

So the first thing that you can do is get still and like decide what you really want.

So meditate meditate on where you want to go.

And I don't mean like anything freaky or different just like sit for a second.

Get quiet.

Maybe get quiet with like a journal.

You know if that helps you so like a mix of meditating and journaling I do that sometimes and ask yourself what do I need or where do I want to go or what is the next right step or what action do I need to take to get me closer to my dreams.

I have to admit I don't do this as often as I think I probably should.

And I tend to get lost and bogged down in the overwhelm of wanting to do everything.

And so I think I need to take my own advice.

But yeah this is a great way to get really grounded and centered in who you are and who you want to be.

OK.

The next thing would be once you realize where you want to go and what you really want is getting really good at saying no.

No this doesn't serve me.

And it's not necessarily saying no to other people.

Maybe it's saying no to your own shitty habits.

OK.

So maybe somebody asks you to go somewhere and you realize OK that's going to make it so I have to stay out late and the exchange of joy that this event is going to bring me or that this situation is going to bring me is not equivalent to the joy I'm going to feel if I wake up early the next morning do the things that I need to do and really show up for myself.

That's a decision that you can make for yourself.

That's a way that you can honor yourself by saying no.

So no I'm not going to go into this situation or this event or whatever it might be that you're asking me to go to because showing up for myself is more important and is going to bring me more joy and will ultimately be more valuable for me.

And then going back to what I said about your shitty habits.

This is the next tip which is prioritize what matters.

So make a schedule for yourself and clear time for it.

If you want it bad enough,

You will do it.

This is something I've seen in myself over the last couple of weeks.

There was a balance between there was a sorry not a balance but there was a mix of me needing to rest and relax.

And then there was also me needing to move forward.

And I was really kind of scared.

I'm going to go with scared.

I was scared and I was overwhelmed.

And so when I get into those situations,

I just shut down as a human and I just do nothing.

I don't fully rest.

And then I also don't really do anything to move the needle forward.

But I think that what I was making time for was distractions in this last period.

So I was making time for copious amounts of One Tree Hill.

I was making time for checking social media incessantly and you know comparing myself to other people.

I was making time to play games on my iPad.

I was making time for all these things that like ultimately don't bring me that much joy and definitely don't move me in the direction that I want to go in.

And then along the same lines as what I just said is actually tracking that time.

So I had said,

And I'm going to repeat it again,

You make a schedule.

Okay,

Then try and stick to it,

Then clear time for it.

If you're seeing in your schedule that you don't have time for it.

Oh,

But you do.

I promise you you do.

I promise if you look really carefully at all the decisions you're making on a daily basis,

You do have time for it.

I'm going to share a little embarrassing tidbit here.

I woke up this morning,

And I set a new limit on my phone for how much time I can spend on Instagram before I even got out of bed this morning,

I reached that limit.

I feel disgusting saying that.

And like,

Not that I'm a bad person and not that I'm disgusting,

Because I don't think that at all,

But that habit grosses me out.

That is not the human that I want to be but that is the decision that I'm making.

And I'm the only person that's in control of that.

So,

Tracking your screen time in these moments where you're saying I don't have enough time for something is hugely powerful because you will be surprised by how much time you spend responding to messages,

How much time you spend checking email,

And how much time you spend on social media.

It will scare you.

I promise you,

If you do this and you've never done it before,

I would almost be willing to bet that the time that you spend on your phone is way more than you would guess it would be.

And it's a little bit nauseating when you first do it because you're like really looking at your own shit like this is one of the things I talk about all the time on the podcast and all the time with clients is that,

You know,

Coaching and,

And even the things that we talk about here all these topics is like literally,

Like,

Putting on your galoshes and standing amidst your own crap and picking up each individual aspect of your life and saying is this serving me.

And when you like really sit down and you get honest with yourself about your screen time,

It will frighten you.

I can almost guarantee you and so I know that that can be like I'm,

And I'm maybe I'm making it out to be worse than it is I don't want to scare you away from doing it I want to really encourage you to like be brave,

Put on your big girl panties or big boy panties,

Whatever.

And actually do it because you need to,

Because your life and your dreams are literally depending on it.

So,

Once again,

I'm going to recap everything.

You can do anything,

You are that magnificent you are that talented you are that magical and wonderful you can literally do anything,

Anything at all.

If you want to wake up tomorrow and decide to be a doctor or a lawyer you could do that,

You could do that,

You probably don't want to and that's cool too,

But you could if you wanted to.

But you can't be a doctor and a lawyer and a wife and a mother and show up in all these different areas,

You can do anything you want but you can't do everything.

And if you're a business owner,

Like me,

You can't be whatever the figure you are in your business,

Plus the social media marketing person,

Plus the accountant,

Plus the website designer,

Plus a graphic designer,

Plus,

You know,

Google Analytics specialist and an SEO specialist you can't be all of those things like I hate to break to you.

And I hate admitting this to myself but we can't,

We just can't.

So,

You can do anything that you want but you need to decide what the most important tasks are,

And then you need to find a way to get yourself to a space where you don't have to do the rest of it,

Because it just doesn't work that way.

It just doesn't work that way unfortunately if we had all the time in the world,

Then it would.

But yeah,

We don't we have a limited amount of time and it's time for us to step up and step into our power and decide what's really important.

So,

How do you decide what's really important?

Okay,

Recap of the steps.

You can meditate and or journal on where you are,

Where you want to go.

Okay,

And who you need to be to get there.

You need to get really really really good at saying no,

No to other people,

No to commitments that don't bring you joy,

No to events that don't let you up,

No to things even around the house that aren't working for you if there's a way for you to ask for support from a partner or a child or a roommate,

Or if there's a way for you to hire somebody to do those things for you.

You need to get really good at saying no to what isn't moving the needle forward.

And then finally,

You need to prioritize what matters and this ties in with saying no to your shitty habits,

Meaning you need to look at where you are currently spending time if one of your excuses for not moving forward is I don't have time.

If you're saying that,

You do,

Because you're spending probably 30 to 40 minutes per day on social media.

You are spending at least that if not more on email,

And you're probably spending about the same amount of time responding to text messages,

Which means all in all,

Just as a guesstimate,

You're likely spending at least an hour and a half per day on your phone.

And I know that that's like a harsh reality and it's probably,

To be honest with you,

On the low end for a lot of people,

But you have that time.

There's an hour and a half without changing anything except for one habit.

So you didn't change anything else that you do in your life except just paid attention to the time that you're spending on your phone.

And when I say prioritize what matters,

I mean look at more things even than that.

But you just changed that one habit and you found an hour and a half in your day.

How fucking magical is that?

Like that's incredible.

And maybe you found less and maybe you'll find time someplace else,

But take a second and really connect in and like look over the landscape of your life and ask yourself if the decisions that you're making today are getting you where you ultimately want to go.

For me over the last three weeks,

The answer to that question is no.

I don't think I've made many decisions in the last three weeks that really moved the needle forward or that were putting me in the path of my dreams.

And so I'm choosing to make a different choice today and that's really,

Really powerful and it's really magical and I hope that this episode inspires you to do the same.

So love you guys so much.

I hope you have the most kick ass weekend.

And if you want to connect with me more about this topic or any other topic that you feel like chatting about,

You can find me at www.

Candicealessia.

Com or you can find me on Instagram at Candice Alessia or on Facebook at Candice Alessia Coaching.

And if you are a Pinterest gal as I am,

Then you can also find me on there.

I've got some cool stuff.

Lots of boards I love adding to.

Pinterest is a lot of fun and it's super good if you're not super visual.

I'm not a super visual person like I am in that I enjoy it,

But not that I can visualize things very well in my mind.

So Pinterest really helps me with that.

But yeah,

If you want to find me on there,

You absolutely can.

It's at Candice Alessia Coaching.

Have the best weekend.

Go out and kick ass and figure out what that anything is that you want to do and let go of everything else.

Reviews

Thanks Candice! I needed that!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾