What An App Error Taught Me About My Self-Worth

In this episode, I share an ultra embarrassing story about how an app error made me question my self-worth and how having expectations of how a situation would unfold really messed me up! I also talk a bit about my fitness journey and how to be your own biggest fan because you deserve it!
Please note that this talk does contain explicit language and is not suitable for children.

Transcript

Hey guys,

Just a fair warning before you dive in that this podcast does contain explicit language.

Hey guys,

So before we start the podcast today,

I just want to let you know about something special that is going on in my world.

So I've mentioned it on the podcast before,

But I am running a special program for fall called September is the New January.

This is a one-on-one coaching program and it is an intensive,

Meaning we have sessions once per week over the course of three months and it is all about finishing 2019 strong.

Every year in January,

You know,

We start off with the best intentions and we set resolutions and you and I will have a chat about that if you're still on the resolutions because girl,

We got to get you off that.

But anyways,

You set resolutions,

You set intentions and you have all these hopes and dreams and all these plans for all these goals that you're setting for yourself that you're going to achieve and you make some progress and you know,

You achieve some of them.

But sometimes,

You know,

We get derailed and things don't go exactly how we planned or things don't go as we expected and we don't end up achieving all that we set out to achieve in a year.

And this program is specifically about finishing 2019 strong,

Achieving all the goals and all the intentions and you know,

Checking off all the resolutions that you set in January of 2019 so that you can start off in January 2020 super strong with all these new tools and techniques and strategies for achieving your goals that set you up for even more massive success in the following year.

So if this sounds like something that you're interested in,

You can head to my website on www.

Candicealacia.

Com slash September to find out more about this coaching program because it isn't intensive and because it is specifically designed for us to finish 2019 strong and set us up for massive success in 2020.

It actually does have a deadline to apply.

So the closing date for this program is actually September 14th and I would love to have you join me and allow me to be on your journey and guide you and support you as you work towards all the things that you want to achieve.

You can reach out to me if you have any questions.

I'd be so happy to talk to you and if you want to read more about the program or read more about me or even read testimonials from past clients,

You can find all of that on my website.

I hope that the information for this course really really really serves you and that this program appeals to you and yeah reach out and I hope to see you there and I just regardless cheers to your massive success in finishing the last quarter of 2019 strong.

So today on the podcast,

I am talking about what an app error taught me about my self-worth.

I don't know if I've mentioned it on the podcast,

But I actually got into running a little over six years ago and it's something that like at first was really challenging for me.

I actually used an app to teach myself to run which was amazing and I actually recommend it to everybody.

The app was called C2 5K and it was specifically about like going from couch potato to a 5K runner and it was amazing that app literally is what got me started on running because it never made me feel bad about myself for not being able to just like wake up in the morning and run a 5K and I really really love that.

And since I've like kind of moved along in my running journey and I've sort of advanced my skills and so on and so forth.

I've switched out of using that app and I've transitioned into another one and the app that I use now actually has like challenges every month.

So you can try and run like 15K in a week or 50K in a month or 100K in a month.

Like I run about two to three times per week.

I usually run at the end of my workday just to kind of close everything out.

I find it such a nice way to like release energy and like let go of everything from the day.

And yeah I just I really really love that.

And so I was getting to the end of the month because this was like just at the end of like August.

I was getting to the end of the month and I was so close to making it to a 50K month.

I was so fucking close and I was like no today I'm going to do it like whatever I need to do I'm going to make it to the 50K.

So I was about I think just a little under six miles away from making it to that milestone.

Unfortunately I had like a little problem with my app.

When I left the house I forgot to start it which literally I've never done ever.

And I think if it's happened it's happened like literally this time and one other time that I haven't like press the go button on this app to start calculating my run.

So because I didn't do this I like realized maybe like I think almost a mile into my run that I hadn't started it.

So I stopped running for a second and I like turned the app on and I tried to like add a run in order to make it so like I would count the piece that I missed.

And then I like kept running and I finished my run and I went home and I made it to 50K except my app didn't count the run.

So it counted like the second half when I started while I was running but it didn't count the part that I kind of inputted myself to account for the first part of my run that I missed by not starting the app when I left the house.

So even though I like made it to 50K this app didn't count that and it really pissed me off like oh it made me really fucking mad because I really really really wanted to make it to that milestone and I did make it to that milestone like I want to be really clear about that I made it to 50K whether or not this app said it.

But the app wasn't telling me that I made it to 50K and it was pissing me off.

So what I did was I literally left the house and then went like running some more in order to make it so this app said 50K.

But I felt bad like I know that sounds really dumb because I made it to 50K in any case no matter what this app says but I didn't feel excited.

I didn't feel happy about the way that everything worked out and it wasn't because I didn't achieve the goal because I achieved the goal either way.

It was because I was more concerned about sharing this story on Instagram than I was about being proud of my own damn accomplishment.

What the fuck is that.

So I had literally planned on writing a post on Instagram about how like push yourself like you can do it like set you know break every limit that you think you have you can move past it like I really had all of this kind of set up in my mind.

Meaning I had really high expectations about the situation like I had already planned that this is exactly how it was going to go.

I was going to run.

I was going to make it to 50K.

I was going to post this inspirational post on Instagram.

Life was going to be good.

It was going to get tons of likes and I was going to get new followers new clients and blah blah blah.

So I kind of had this whole vision in my in my head and I just really made me realize because it made me realize something really important because when I came back from my run and I realized that I didn't make it to that 50K I felt disappointed even though I did.

Even though everything worked out exactly how I wanted it to because I didn't have this like quote unquote proof of the app saying that I made it to 50K.

I like felt like I didn't make it.

Gross.

I mean literally I'm embarrassed sharing this story because I think it's literally mortifying like this is such a bad attitude to have,

Especially in terms of like a massive accomplishment like very rarely do I run six miles and I did I ran almost six miles that day.

It's not common for me.

I usually run about 5K every time I run.

So this is like,

You know,

This is a huge deal.

It's almost twice that and I really wasn't like giving myself the props and recognition that I deserved because this plan that I had about sharing my life online didn't work.

And so there's kind of two parts of this one is about sharing and one is about like acknowledging the things that we do and being proud of ourselves whether or not someone else knows about it.

Okay,

Let's start with the sharing our lives online.

So I feel that as a coach,

It's important and borderline necessary for me to share my life online.

I am not thrilled by the idea.

It doesn't necessarily lighten me up,

But I feel like it's something that like,

You know,

Kind of everybody is doing and sometimes I feel the pressure to do it as well.

There are times where I share genuinely from the heart and like this post was coming from my heart like that's probably why I was so disappointed that it didn't end up working out was because I really wanted to share the success.

I wanted to share this achievement.

I wanted to share me pushing my comfort zone and pushing past my own limits and because I think that's inspiring and I think it's incredibly relevant to the industry that I'm in and to the kind of coach I am which is all focused on mindset because it proves that when you think in a different way,

You can achieve whatever the fuck you want.

But there is a very clear line in the sand where this decision to post and then me just being disappointed and not being able to do so really affected my self-worth and my self-esteem because when I got home and I saw that the hat that the app hadn't tracked my run.

I was literally like borderline devastated because I wanted to see that 50k badge like I fucking worked for it.

I deserved it and I wanted to share it.

I wanted to share that achievement with the world but beyond wanting to like just recognize myself for the achievement.

I wanted to share that post.

I had crafted the perfect Insta-worthy post about how I really pushed myself and how I ran harder and longer than I normally would have to achieve it.

All of what I've done is still true.

It's all still relevant.

I did achieve it.

I did run longer.

I did run harder.

All of that is true.

But it was overshadowed by the fact that I felt like I since I had to trick the app into saying I ran 50k and I say trick the app because I went out again to make sure that I ran that it counted in order to make sure that I met the 50k requirement.

But it felt then like it wasn't worthy of sharing and therefore neither was I.

Like I wasn't worthy either.

This is a really simple but insidious way that our ego and the pressures of society can get to us.

So in sharing online sometimes we set ourselves up to be disappointed because we expect things to go in a very specific way.

I definitely did in this case.

And you know we want to get likes and we want to get follows and we want to get all of these things and it's something that just really doesn't matter.

And it becomes a problem when you find yourself in a similar situation to what I'm describing here where not being able to share something or something not working out the way you wanted to makes you feel bad about yourself.

Because I really did.

Even though this was a huge accomplishment,

It was completely overshadowed by the fact that I couldn't then use it to propel my work forward.

It's okay too that that was disappointing for me.

It's okay that I felt sad that I didn't really that things didn't work out in a way that was very shareable.

It's okay to feel what you feel.

It's okay to be disappointed.

It is not okay however that that disappointment overshadowed this massive accomplishment.

And I think that this is really goes to show you just how much we need to be mindful of how we're using social media and how we're engaging with people in social media.

And I think too that we need to be really mindful about cheering on ourselves.

Okay,

We need to be our own damn cheerleader.

We need to be our own biggest fan.

Gary V says that all the time and I genuinely believe it because if we are our own biggest fan,

Then stuff like this becomes irrelevant.

What we do or don't share,

What we do or don't say online or what we do or don't get likes or followers from doesn't matter because we already believe in ourselves in such a way that we don't need anybody else's approval.

And that is the epitome of self-confidence.

That is the epitome of living a good life.

When you don't need anyone else's opinion or anyone else's approval for your life to be good and you can just be happy within yourself,

That is massive.

I look back on this situation with immense gratitude because I feel really grateful that in the end,

Even though it didn't work out exactly how I had planned,

I still was able to share this story in a way that kind of shows that we're all on this learning journey together.

We're all working through things together and we all trip up,

We all fuck up,

We all get distracted by our ego and distracted by shiny objects and distracted by likes and followers.

No one is immune to this kind of stuff.

In other ways in my life,

I've realized lately too that despite the fact that I have really made massive strides to overcome living up to other people's standards and following the requirements that society has set up for us,

Especially for people who are in my generation.

As millennials,

People talk shit about us all the time and our attitude towards everything and the way that we grow up and social media and all of these things combined together,

It's really important to remember that our value and our worth does not come from any of those things.

And we will be happiest when we are standing in our own greatness,

Secure in the fact that who we are as people just by breathing,

Just by existing is good enough and that we are worthy of love and attention and acceptance and all of the things that we wish we would get from likes and followers or from sharing our lives on social media.

We are worthy of that just because we exist and the first person that has to give it to us is ourselves.

We have to give that love and that attention and that acceptance to ourselves before we can expect it from other people.

I really hope that this story served you.

I'm like really embarrassed sharing this to be honest with you guys because I feel stupid.

I try to be really authentic on social media and I'm trying to be even more authentic in this podcast.

This is my safe space to share everything with you guys.

I just kind of let everything go,

No holds barred.

But it's hard because this is the real real right here.

This is what it feels like sometimes when you're trying to build a business in an industry where you see everybody online and you inevitably end up comparing yourself to them.

I'm sure that whether or not you're building a business or whether or not you're really active on social media,

You've at one point or another felt like this.

Where you're seeing somebody who's doing something with their life and you're like,

Fuck I need to do that or fuck I should do that or I want to go on that trip or I want to buy that product or I want to buy that course that that person is selling or whatever it might be.

I find myself getting tripped up by this all the time so I know that no one is immune and that is why it's so compelling that I share this story.

That's why it's so relevant because I am talking to you all the time about mindset.

I'm talking to you all the time about being the best version of yourself and I'm trying to own up to exactly where I'm not showing up as that version of myself in my life.

This was it.

This is not who I want to be.

Someone who's obsessed with sharing their life on Instagram and someone who's disappointed and not honoring or celebrating massive achievements because it wasn't fucking in the,

It didn't happen in the perfect fucking insta story way.

Yuck.

Super gross.

So I'm calling myself out and I hope that my doing that benefits you in some way and I hope that you get like value from this and that you,

If you see yourself in this story I hope that you learn to love and accept and you know give yourself the attention that you deserve without waiting for anyone else to give it to you for you.

So yeah,

That's it for today.

Hope you guys loved it.

If you have any questions or if you want to reach out and chat,

I'd love to hear from you.

You can reach me at CandiceElasia.

Com,

On Instagram at CandiceElasia or on Facebook at CandiceElasiaCoaching.

And just one more time,

I'm going to mention September is the new January.

I'm so fucking excited about this one on one program and I'm so excited for the people who've already decided to join like you guys are amazing and I know we're going to like really crush it.

You guys are going to kill the end of 2019 and set yourself up for so much fucking good shit in 2020.

And yeah,

Just if you're interested,

You can check it out on CandiceElasia.

Com slash September,

Or you can reach out to me anywhere on social media if you want to have a talk about it too.

I am here for you.

I got you boo whatever you need and I am hoping that you have the most bomb ass weekend ever.

Enjoy the last of summer.

And like,

If you're in North America,

Like I'm living in Italy,

Have a fucking pumpkin spice latte for me please because I can't have one here even though I would love to.

So yeah,

Cheers,

Raising my cappuccino from Italy to your pumpkin spice latte,

Wherever you are in the world.

Have the best time and know that I love you and I support you and I got you.

Reviews

Thank you. I thought it was very brave of you to share this. And well done for your awesome running! Much love 💜x