Trust Yourself, No One Knows Better Than You

In this episode, I share a personal story about how I let things get super out of control because I prioritized the ideas, thoughts, and opinions of others and the consequences that I experienced because of this. This episode is all about releasing the opinions of others and guiding you back to your own knowing because, trust me, you do know. If you need a little pep talk and a friendly reminder to step back into your power then this is the episode for you!

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Free Will podcast.

I am genuinely super pumped to be here,

As I always am,

But especially today.

I feel like I am really pumped to be here because I am talking about something that is is really personally relevant.

So I'm kind of indecisive of how to structure this podcast,

So I'm just going to try to let it flow.

But one of the things that like,

We're like the topic of today's episode is the idea that no one knows better than you.

And I feel like I can't really talk about this without diving into a personal story.

First,

To like really give context to why I'm so excited to talk about this today,

Why this is so relevant for me right now,

And why I think it'll be relevant for you as well.

So there has been so much going on in my life lately.

Like all of 2023 actually has been really intense.

There's been so many changes.

So I actually got out of a relationship at the beginning of the year,

And like it became official towards like,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Just a couple months into the year.

So at the end of February,

It became official.

And then like a lot of things have changed since then as well.

And that,

Yeah,

I don't even know how to explain it fully,

To be honest with you.

So I left a relationship and I have been like trying to kind of like get my footing.

And there's because of that change in my relationship,

So many other aspects of my life have changed necessarily,

Right?

Because when you go from being in a couple and things are divided in terms of like workload and cost and payments and everything like that.

So now my life has shifted to it just being me and Mila,

Of course.

And that has been like a massive,

Massive transition.

And I've just had a lot on the go lately.

And it's been really great and beautiful,

But also really intense.

And I've been trying to do like a lot of things.

And last week,

I think was really the culmination of all of those things.

So I think that last week I really tried to be everything to everyone.

I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

And I'm not built for that.

Like I just,

I understand that that sounds like really whatever,

To be honest with you.

I don't,

I don't even really care how it sounds.

It sounds how it is,

But it sounds how it sounds,

But it is what it is.

Like I really don't feel like I'm built to just constantly be going.

And I know that when I move in that way,

I literally am just like I'm going 100 miles an hour towards burnout.

Like I'm gonna,

I know I'm gonna hit that wall.

I've really lived in that cycle for too long,

Too many times.

And like now with the situation that I find myself in,

Like that's really not an option.

I have to be really mindful about the way that I'm showing up for myself and the way that I'm taking care of myself.

Because so much of the responsibility of my life is now fully on me.

I don't have that partnership necessarily that I can rely on or fall back on if something like were to go wrong.

So there's been a lot of shifts,

A lot of pressure,

A lot of busyness,

A lot of things that needed to get done,

A lot of shifts and transitions.

And it's been really,

Really good overall.

It's been really beautiful.

But this last week in particular with being so busy and running around and then just having a lot of conversations with a lot of different people.

And I realize now that I did not realize at the time that I had taken on so much of other people's energy.

Like I was just a sponge listening to so much of what other people were saying and telling me how to do.

And I'm always studying too,

Like I am a lifelong learner.

I'm always working on something.

So in addition to having like maybe friends and family telling me what I'm thinking and feeling and what's going on for me,

I'm also like actively learning new processes and new ways to do my job better and all of those things,

Like ways to make my life better as well.

So there's always like 7 million things going on.

And I've been like traveling a lot more lately.

Like I'm basically,

I've been busy every weekend,

Which is another thing I'm not particularly used to.

And all of this was just kind of leading me to like system overload.

There was just a lot of new things,

A lot of adventure,

A lot of great things,

Like all of it's wonderful.

But I wasn't in a space where I was giving myself time to really process it.

And then I had an issue with someone in my family,

In my close circle.

And I also kind of glossed over that situation as well.

So some things were said that were rude,

Frankly,

And that hurt me.

And because I was so busy and I had so many things on the go,

I just kind of set it to the side.

It's like,

Yeah,

Whatever.

OK,

It doesn't bother me.

And I never really gave myself time to process and kind of like grieve what was being said to me,

Like really deal with what was coming up.

And like then,

Yeah,

I've been getting some unsolicited advice from friends as well about how I should be approaching my business and how I should be approaching my life and the way I should move and the pace at which I should move.

And all of it just like totally came to a head on Sunday night.

I ended up getting really sick and then I stayed sick Monday and I felt kind of crappy most of Tuesday as well this week.

And I'm recording this now on Wednesday.

So I finally managed to shift that energy.

I swear to you,

I have literally spent the last two days,

Three days,

Sorry,

The last three days in such deep self-analyzation.

I've been really trying to figure out like what the hell was happening to me because there was so much going on,

So many emotions,

So many thoughts.

And like it was very,

Very difficult to get a clear understanding of what was actually coming through.

Like what was what was the lesson?

What was I trying to process?

Like the root of what was happening really wasn't clear to me.

And I actually said to one to my friend at one point,

Like I,

We had an entire conversation about this and I didn't hear a word that you said,

I don't think,

Because like I was literally like calling you from outer space and there was static on the line.

Like there was so much going on.

And now I feel like I really got to the root of it because I allowed myself,

Especially today.

So I think on Monday and Tuesday,

I was very much in a space of like trying to like fix me.

So I really wanted to understand what the hell was going on and I didn't want to feel like shit anymore.

And I just wanted to be out of this and over it.

And P.

S.

When you come at yourself from that space,

You've heard me say it before and I know it as well,

But you're you're struggling and you're not going to get the answers or the clarity as quickly as you would if you just let go.

And so today that's exactly what I did.

I woke up this morning and I dived straight into work.

And so that I think helped as well.

And then after that,

I didn't force myself to be productive.

I did not force myself to record the podcast episode.

And lo and behold,

Here I am same day,

Right?

Same day recording the podcast episode.

And this is only possible because I completely let go today.

I really,

Really allowed myself to be like,

No,

OK,

Let's have like a real talk for a second.

Let's have some real talk for a second.

I am 32 years old.

OK.

I have never found myself in a situation in which I was not fully capable of taking care of myself.

So it really doesn't matter what Tom,

Dick and Harry think about what I'm doing or why I'm doing it or how I'm doing it or how they think I should do it or what changes they think I should make or what behaviors they're not particularly content with.

Because I have survived 32 years on planet Earth taking care of myself.

And that was a huge shift for me.

That was a really,

Really big one,

Because I was feeling I realized what was bothering me was that I was trying so hard to live up to the expectations of other people instead of living in alignment with the way that I move in the world.

That's a mic drop moment,

In my opinion.

But anyways,

Not to like self congratulate myself or anything,

But I spent the last week for sure really living from a space of trying to live up to other people's expectations,

Be impressive and impress certain people and not be the person that someone else decided that I was going to be,

Because what they were saying was negative about me.

And I realized that in doing all of these things,

The only thing I actually accomplished was being so incredibly out of alignment with myself,

My energy,

My vibe,

And how I know to live in this world.

And like people can agree or disagree with how I choose to live in the world.

And that's totally fine because everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

But at the end of the day,

The only thing that I can do and the only way that I know how to exist is by doing things my own way.

And that's where this episode comes in,

Because I really wanted to transmute what I learned and what I lived through this week into something that could be useful for you guys.

Because there's always going to be pressure,

Mostly external,

But also internal,

Because a lot of what I lived through this week was 100% my fault.

Because we can't control other people,

We can't control what other people say,

I can't control the fact that this family member said something ignorant to me,

I can't control other people's expectations of me,

I can't control what impression other people have of me,

All I can control is myself.

And we totally get tripped up on that,

Right?

We totally get tripped up on that.

And so the pressure that I was feeling,

Yes,

It was coming from these external sources,

But I was also allowing that pressure to be there.

I was also allowing that pressure in,

Right?

Like I was putting on my.

.

.

I was putting pressure on myself to also be this person,

Because I thought,

Well,

These people know better than me.

And guess what?

They don't.

They really,

Really,

Really don't.

They don't know better because nobody knows better what I should do than me.

And that is the lesson that I want to kind of share that I learned,

And that hopefully saves you a shit ton of time.

But I was also experiencing like nausea,

Dizziness,

And like,

You know,

Other unpleasant symptoms,

Physical symptoms,

And then also like crying and stress and overwhelm and anxiety.

Like,

I swear to God,

Yesterday,

I was like one step away from a panic attack.

Like it was really bad because I just was so in my head.

And honestly,

That's not even true.

That's the wrong way to say it.

Other people were in my head and I wasn't.

I wasn't listening to me.

And that is always,

Always,

Always going to be a recipe for disaster.

Always.

So let's really break this down.

No one on God's green earth knows better than you.

No one.

No one knows better than you what you should do,

What you need,

What you desire,

What your goals are,

What your hopes and dreams are,

What your next steps should be.

No one.

No one can give you a path to get there,

Said the coach.

Okay.

And I think that this is where we get tripped up.

Okay.

I've had a lot of bad experiences with coaches because I went into the relationship expecting them to give me the answers that I refuse to acknowledge within myself.

Boom.

Mic drop again.

I am on fire today.

But yeah,

I was expecting them to give me the answers that I refuse to give myself permission to do.

Basically,

I wanted people to tell me that the way that I want to do things is okay.

And I need to be the person that tells me that.

And here I am doing that for you.

I'm trying to give you that permission slip.

And also I have spent the last like week and a half trying to give that myself that.

And especially the last three days trying to give myself permission to do what the fuck I want to do because I want to do it because that is always going to be the right answer.

Now,

How do friends,

Coaches,

And therapists then play a role in this?

Well,

We guide you,

Right?

We can guide you along your path,

But I can't possibly tell you which path is the right one to take.

And I can't possibly tell you your exact next steps.

I mean,

If I know you better,

Of course,

I can guide you as well there.

But I can't tell you what you should do.

You know what you should do.

You're just so disconnected from yourself and from your own energy and from your inner knowing that you're afraid to do it.

And we all I would I would venture a guess to say about 99% of the people on the planet on planet Earth right now are living from this space.

We know what we need to do to get healthy,

To get the relationship,

To get the promotion,

To start the business,

To do whatever.

OK,

We know what we need to do and we just are afraid of doing it.

And so we don't.

And so we outsource our power to other people.

And we assume that the experts know and that the friends know and that our partners know or our family members know better than we do.

And they don't.

They really,

Really don't.

I don't know you better than you do.

I know me better than anybody else.

Right.

That's the way it is.

Self responsibility and sovereignty.

What we always talk about on the podcast here.

Right.

And so the biggest takeaway is this idea that you really do know,

You know.

And not only that,

But only,

You know,

Only you know what is right for you.

And yeah,

That might be a little bit scary.

Right,

Because there's a lot of,

Again,

Self responsibility in that.

Like if you know what you need to do,

Then it's also up to you to actually do the damn thing.

And that is not necessarily simple.

Right.

It's or it's not necessarily easy,

Even if the idea itself is simple.

But it's OK to be there.

It's OK to be scared of this.

It's OK to be a little bit like,

Whoa,

I wasn't expecting to have to deal with this shit on my own.

And you're never alone.

That,

Too,

Is where the support and the guidance of friends and family and coaches and therapists comes in.

Right.

You're never doing this alone unless you choose to.

But you need to move through this process.

And I mean,

The whole process at your own pace.

So what I mean by that is you need to move through this process of like understanding that you have the answers,

Accepting that you know what you need to do,

And then also taking action,

Whatever that action might be.

And maybe that action is asking for help from somebody,

Right,

Asking for support from a friend,

From a family member,

From a coach,

From a therapist,

Etc.

Maybe it's like looking into reading a book that is about a topic that you know you want to improve or doing a course or whatever.

Right.

Same shit we always talk about.

But that's where all of this kind of comes to a head because this is simple,

Not necessarily easy,

Because if it was easy,

We would all following these steps,

You know,

And we would all be living in this eternal state of happiness and we'd all be doing exactly what we need to do.

Right.

But the self exploration part of it is what becomes maybe more challenging.

So it's figuring out how to trust yourself above other people and above the din,

Above the noise.

That's the challenge.

That's where we maybe get tripped up.

Because once you know that,

You know,

Once you accept that self responsibility,

It is then about prioritizing yourself and your values above what your friends,

Your family,

Your partner think is best,

Above what society thinks is best,

Above what your coach thinks is best,

Even if they're the expert in what they do or your therapist.

Right.

It's going against the advice because you know that that method or that system or that strategy doesn't work for you.

And I hold myself into this as well.

Like if you're listening to this right now and you think that sounds like bullshit,

Then it is for you.

Then it is.

That's it.

Like,

Don't,

You know,

Drop it like a hot potato and walk away.

It's totally fine.

That's your right.

Right.

That's your sovereignty to be able to do that.

But if any of this rings true,

Then you know,

Then you know that you know and you know that you need to start taking action from there.

And this is where you really need to get into alignment with your own unique blueprint.

And that starts by knowing and understanding and accepting and recognizing and prioritizing the fact that you have a unique blueprint to begin with.

And this is just like the biggest fucking vibe,

In my opinion.

Like this is such a vibe.

This is the biggest takeaway for me from the last three days of being literally mentally,

Emotionally,

Spiritually and physically ill.

All of it.

I was trying so hard to impress somebody.

I was trying so hard to not let somebody's negative words get to me.

I was trying so hard to figure out every problem that I have in my life right now,

Because I don't want to be in this space anymore.

That I was literally doing all the wrong things because I was doing what somebody else thought was best and not what I know is best.

This is my job.

It is my actual job to know what is best for me,

Obviously,

But also to be able to guide my clients to what is best for them.

It is my literal purpose on Earth.

And so,

And I felt so deeply,

This is a side topic of this,

But I felt so deeply like I was giving my power away.

And like the thinking about how powerless I was and how powerless I felt in these situations was making me physically nauseous.

I remember talking to a friend the last couple of days about like something that I was experiencing and like I was literally typing something and I had to stop because I got so dizzy and so tired.

I got so dizzy and so sick to my stomach as I was literally excavating what it was that was keeping me in this loop.

And one of those things was the way that I was deferring my power and allowing somebody else to dictate the way that my life was moving.

And it was making me sick.

That's how strong our emotions are.

And that's how strong we are.

And also,

That's how strong I am.

I understand that sounds really counterintuitive because I was in a place of being physically,

Emotionally,

Spiritually,

And mentally ill.

But you have to understand that that's only possible because I know myself so deeply that when I'm out of alignment,

My body is literally shouting at me.

My mind is literally saying,

Something is not right.

You are not in alignment with the way that you are supposed to be living on planet Earth,

With the way that you know is best for you to approach your life.

That is how intense my reaction was,

Is how intense my own awareness is to begin with.

Like I really feel like they are proportionate.

Proportional?

Proportionate?

Anyways,

A little gap for an English lesson there.

But yeah,

Like if I didn't know myself,

I probably wouldn't have had such an extreme reaction to this.

And this fear,

And also there's a huge fear for me of giving my power away.

Like when I really can't handle feeling powerless.

Also because I feel trapped.

And when I feel trapped,

Obviously I don't feel free.

And freedom is the core of every single thing I do on planet Earth.

The podcast is called Wild Free Will,

Not by accident,

But by choice.

This is the basis of my business.

It is the basis of every decision that I make.

It is the reason why I work for myself,

Because I crave that freedom so deeply.

It is inherent to who I am.

It is oxygen for me.

And so lacking that was really throwing me for a loop.

And it's just so interesting how much has shifted since I realized,

Actually the only thing I got to do is do things the way I want to do them.

Just like that.

The minute that I realized that today,

All of my symptoms went away.

And I had mental clarity.

Like literally,

I haven't been able to,

In the last couple of weeks,

I haven't really been able to come up with like any kind of like decent content.

And I am not somebody who will post for the sake of posting.

I am not going to clog up our energetic universe with my garbage just for the sake of being consistent.

It is never going to happen.

That is not the way that I want to do things.

It's never going to happen.

That is not the way that I run my life.

That's not the way I run my business.

And I think it's,

It's honestly,

It is a disservice to the people who engage with my content to put something out there just to put it out there.

Like that's not,

That's not valuable.

It's just adding to the noise.

And it's just like I already think that social media is like society's toilet.

So like I really don't need to be adding like anything to that if it's,

Unless it's actually valuable.

So I haven't been able to produce any content and I thought like last week I didn't have an episode of the podcast and that is the first time in 2023 and it was physically difficult for me to like not publish anything.

But I didn't have,

I literally couldn't make the time and I didn't have the emotional bandwidth in order to get that done.

So I made the choice to like let it go and to like re-reorganize and re-center for this week.

And then with the way that the week started I was afraid that I wouldn't manage to get this done either because I really wasn't in an emotional,

Mental,

Spiritual or physical place to be able to like output anything,

To be able to add value to the world,

To be able to say something that I feel would have a positive impact on you.

Because that's the only reason I do this.

That's the only reason why I sit here and have these conversations with myself and stare at my blank wall while I,

While I wax poetic on all of these things that I love.

I love them but I do it because I want to add value to the world,

Because I want to help you see things differently and I want to help you live a better life.

Like that's the only,

The only purpose and if I'm not doing that I'm just not doing it then.

It's not worth it.

And I really thought,

Okay well I'm not going to be able to put anything out.

And the minute that I realized that I just needed to do things my way and I just needed to step back into my sovereignty,

Into my self-responsibility,

Into alignment and living from my values and my truth and being in my own fucking vibe,

Yes,

All of a sudden like that everything shifted and the floodgates opened and all of a sudden ideas started pouring through and there was all of this clarity and there was all of this energetic movement and stuff like that because I released the bullshit and I released the paradigms and the ideas that were not mine to begin with.

And if you need help doing this,

Obviously this,

This podcast is super episode,

This episode is super helpful,

But go back to episode one.

That's not mine,

Right?

That's not mine.

And that's a big part of this actually which I didn't realize until I'm saying this to you,

But that's a huge part of what I did.

I just did it in a different way.

But like so much of what was being said to me was not mine,

Was somebody else's idea,

Somebody else's way of doing things,

Somebody else's paradigm,

Somebody else's strategy and it's not necessarily going to work for me.

And in this case,

Since it made me actually physically ill,

I think we realize that no,

It's not working for me.

That is not my vibe.

That is not my way of doing things.

So to recap,

No one knows better than you ever about anything that has to do with you.

So when you go to buy the course,

When you go to buy the coaching program,

When you go to buy the book,

When you go to ask your friend for advice or your family or your partner or whatever,

Remember that.

Remember that they are not you and they view their life through their own unique paradigm.

Okay?

And the advice that they give you can only ever come from their lived experience and their perspective of the situation.

Okay?

And that is huge.

And that is huge because it's not your perspective.

It is not your lived experience,

Right?

And by the same token,

When you go to give advice to somebody,

Remember that as well.

That you are giving advice that is colored by your lived experience and your perspective.

And it may not be even remotely valuable to the person that is,

That is asking for advice or that you're offering advice to.

And sometimes it can be really helpful in this case to also ask for permission in these situations because sometimes what we say does more harm than help.

That's all.

Because it's not,

Because it's not their way of doing things,

Right?

Which is what this whole episode is about.

It's not their way of doing things.

So no one knows better than you.

Own it,

Live it,

Love it.

And integrate it.

And if you have any questions for me about this topic,

You know that you can always reach out.

And yeah,

I just,

I hope that you loved this podcast.

And if you did,

Please rate,

Subscribe,

Share,

All of those things.

And help me spread this message to as many people as possible.

Know that I appreciate you.

I appreciate you so much for listening,

For taking the time to rate,

For sharing when you do.

I just,

Yeah,

I so,

So,

So appreciate you.

I'm so grateful for you.

If you'd love to chat more about this,

You know where you can find me.

And there's also freebies and stuff like that there for you as well if you're into that.

And you can find other episodes of the podcast,

Etc,

Etc.

I,

Yeah,

I loved having this chat with you.

I hope it resonated.

I hope it landed.

And I cannot wait to talk with you again next week.

So have a great one.

And yeah,

See you then.

Ciao.

Reviews

This talk was absolutely incredible and extremely validating for me. I love your style of presentation. Thank you so much! 🙏🏻