The Truth About “The Truth"

This episode looks at some hot topics as examples of how we can have differing opinions and still have deep love and respect for each other. In particular; what truth really means and how it's different for us all; ways we can be more kind, compassionate, and respectful of one another; and, how it's possible for each of us to get what we need. May this help you see the world from a broader perspective and make it easier to love another person even if they don't have the same opinion as you!

Transcript

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Wild Freewell podcast.

I am really excited but also a little bit nervous for today's topic if I'm totally honest.

I'm really wanting to add a dose of love and compassion to the world with this episode by bringing another perspective to the conversations that we've been having lately,

I feel on a global scale.

So we've all been having conversations I'm sure with family and with friends about what kind of year 2020 has been.

Because 2020 has been an interesting year,

Am I right?

Am I right?

So this episode is really a love letter to the lesser version of myself who gets caught up in the drama and also for anyone else in the world who feels like they need to refocus on what really matters which is being kind and compassionate and respectful and understanding and loving towards other people and towards themselves but especially towards one another.

The focus of this episode is really on the idea of the collective versus the individual.

So we all know that the world has felt super divided this year in 2020.

We've been divided over the virus and its origin and validity and we've been divided by the American election.

I think regardless of whether we're American,

Regardless of where we live,

I don't think it's made a difference.

I feel like we've all been affected on a global scale by this.

But I think that there is something really important to keep in mind,

Especially when we're faced with challenges and differing opinions and when we are in situations where maybe we want to be understood,

I think it's important to remember that the other side of our conversation,

The other party,

The other person,

They want to be understood as well.

And so I think that this is maybe going to be an unpopular episode and it's definitely not a common opinion but I think it's important to share.

There is no one truth.

So what does that mean?

There is no such thing as the truth with a capital T.

Every person has their own unique vision and opinion and perspective of the world and all of those different perspectives are real and valid.

So what I think is real,

What you think is real,

What's true for me is my truth and what's true for you is your truth.

And all of them are true.

I know that sounds really weird because we're taught to be divisive.

We're taught to be separate but it's not that simple.

Now,

We might not agree with another person's vision,

Opinion or perspective,

But that doesn't make it any less real or true than ours simply because it's real and true for them.

If what I'm saying feels untrue to you,

I really encourage you to ask yourself why.

So do you feel challenged by the idea that there can be multiple truths?

Does this go against something that you were taught as a child or some inherent beliefs in your religion?

Because despite our differences,

We share many common values like love and the pursuit of happiness and even golden rules like do unto others as you would have done unto you,

Which appears in one form or another in most religions.

As humans,

We also share the same basic needs of food,

Water and shelter,

As well as the need for love,

Acceptance and to feel seen and heard.

And despite knowing that we share these things in common,

We often let our differences of opinion divide us.

And that is where the danger lies.

The danger really lies in the division.

So now more than ever,

We really need to find a way to stand together.

I see this within my own friends and family as much as on a broader global scale.

We need to take we we sorry,

We need we tend to take each other for granted when all that we're craving most is love and connection and to be understood.

So it's really important to remember that in a difficult situation or in a difference of opinion,

Even the most hurt of us,

Even the most aggressive of us,

Even the angriest person at the end of the day is craving love and connection and understanding.

And if we can come at all of our relationships with this level of kindness and compassion,

We stand a better chance of being loving,

Regardless of whether we share the same beliefs,

Because sharing the same beliefs is not a prerequisite to being kind.

It is not a prerequisite to being friends or family or having that connection with another person.

In fact,

When we are friends and we engage with people who don't share our opinions,

We're often pushed in new ways.

And we learn even more about ourselves and the world and people,

You know,

Humanity in general.

And I think that's really important.

So it's it's also important to remember that when we focus on what divides us,

It only serves to drive us farther apart.

So regardless of what we believe or how that differs from someone else's views,

We need to find a way to honor our own truth while also honoring the truth of others.

This is just respect.

Right.

And respect is fundamental in times like these.

Regardless of where we stand,

We must remember to always have respect for one another,

Which is even more challenging.

I know when we feel we're not on the same page as the other person.

So I see this a lot in myself because I want to make it clear that I'm very much in the same boat of trying to take my own medicine and really walk my talk and practice what I preach,

Because I'm someone who loves being right.

Oh,

I love it.

Oh,

I love it.

I'm super guilty of that.

I am.

I am.

I would say close to being obsessed with being right.

And it's not one of my better traits,

That's for sure.

Because it often oftentimes it only serves to isolate me even more from the people that I love the most.

So being right can be very,

Very lonely because in an effort to prove our rightness,

We push away those that we view as wrong.

So this has shown up for me in many areas.

I mean,

Literally in the tiniest situations of squabbles over Christmas activities up to different differing political opinions.

And it's just unpleasant to live with.

OK,

It's it's.

It's unpleasant living this way.

It's unpleasant wanting to be right.

It's unpleasant being in a situation where you put yourself at odds with people.

And I know this because I do it too often,

More often than I would like to admit.

And it's something that I've been really mindful of.

And it's honestly one of the gifts that has come out of this year being so challenging because we're all at different ends of the spectrum.

We're all on different in different places.

We all have different views.

And this has really pushed my own bad habits to the forefront.

Right.

So I've had to look at them under a microscope and really understand what it is about me that causes me to need this.

Why do I want to be right?

What do I feel I need to prove?

Why am I?

It's almost like hustling for worthiness,

As Brene Brown says.

And when we hustle for worthiness,

We tend to be in this kind of aggressive and confrontational opinion where we are,

We're space,

Sorry,

Where we're almost forcing ourselves on other people and really trying to prove that we're right.

But everyone is right and everyone is wrong.

And that is one of the beauties of life.

And it goes back to this idea that there is no one truth.

There is no truth capital T.

There is just my truth and your truth and everyone else's truth.

And they all coexist.

They're all existing simultaneously.

So recently I saw a post online by Corey Allen,

Who's the host of the Astral Hustle podcast,

That said,

If you look down on other people for not being as evolved as you,

Then you're not as evolved as you think.

And this really hit home for me.

I mean,

Really.

I like to think of myself as an intelligent,

Open minded person.

And this really kind of pushed my buttons.

I'm always growing and learning.

And I like to think that I see more perspectives than my own.

But in reading this post,

I saw more than one way in which I've been very,

Very,

Very narrow minded lately.

And wanting to,

Quote,

Teach others what's,

Quote,

Right.

And I cannot possibly pretend to know what's right for another person.

And frankly,

It's laughable for me to even try.

And this is what I really want to draw attention to in this podcast.

What I'd like for all of us to remember,

The more you're trying to teach another person.

And I fall into this trap,

Like I said,

More often than I'd like,

The less you actually understand yourself.

Because when we're coming at the world from a space of love and acceptance,

Then we love and accept people as they are,

Differing opinions and all.

And the more we're at war with or we're in contrast with the world,

The more we have that within ourselves.

So if I'm not able to love and accept other people,

There's probably a way in which this is showing up in my own life as me not loving and accepting myself either.

Because when we love and accept ourselves,

We're more likely to love and accept other people.

And when we accept that our truth is not the only truth,

We can engage in kind and respectful and thoughtful,

You know,

Really thought provoking and exceptional conversations with people that broaden our minds and broaden theirs where we're all learning together.

And the focus becomes on the collective.

The focus becomes us,

Not me versus you or us versus them.

And that is huge because we will never get where we all want to ultimately want to be if we continue focusing on what's wrong.

And I think that 2020 has been the year of focusing on what's wrong.

And in a lot of ways,

Doing that has been right because it's brought a lot of social injustices to the forefront.

We've seen a lot of issues on a cultural level,

On a systemic level,

Really be brought to the forefront.

And that is amazing.

And we should all be as grateful as possible considering our individual circumstances.

But when we focus on what separates us,

That only drives us farther apart.

So if we're focusing on what we believe versus what other people believe or our truth versus someone else's truth,

It creates a distance between us.

And sometimes that distance is really hard to overcome later on.

What we need most of all is to focus on our shared humanity and allow that to bring us together.

We can only reach our goals or we can reach them at least a lot faster when we're kind,

Respectful,

Understanding and working together for the common good.

Because we all want to be happy.

We all want to be healthy.

We all want to thrive.

We want to feel financially stable,

Let's say,

If not financially free.

We want to feel as though we are in a safe space where we can thrive.

We want our children and our family members to feel safe.

We all want the same things.

We just all have different pathways and different perspectives on the best way to get there.

But at the end of the day,

What we feel and what we want is more or less the same for every single person.

And when we remember that fact,

Not only but also that people are ultimately good and kind and decent,

Then it makes us a lot more willing and a lot better able to be able to accept the fact that we don't need to have the same opinion to love someone.

And we don't need to have the same opinion in order to be kind.

But the world really,

Really,

Really needs a dose of kindness right now,

An extra dose of kindness.

So if you've made it this far,

I really want to thank you.

This has been a harder episode to record because it's so,

I think,

Relevant to the moment that we're all in.

And because a little bit I'm scared of what people will say and think about what I've shared here.

But I really hope that my desire for connection and my desire for mutual respect and compassion and kindness has really transferred through.

You are worthy.

You are a good person.

And what you believe,

In contrast to what I believe,

Doesn't matter as much as those things do.

Your kindness and your compassion and your deserving and your worthiness are what matter above all else,

As do they matter more for me.

So I hope that this inspires you and I hope that it has a positive impact on you and that you can take this idea forward to difficult conversations,

To difficult relationships that you might be having right now,

Difficult situations,

Whatever it might be.

And I hope that it reminds you to come at it with such an open heart and an open mind and so much love and kindness,

Respect,

Compassion for the other person.

I hope you have an amazing weekend.

And if you'd like to discuss more about this with me,

Please feel free to reach out to me.

You can find me on my website,

Which is CandiceElisa.

Com or on Instagram at CandiceElisa or Facebook at CandiceElisaCoaching.

Com and that's C-A-N-D-I-C-E-A-L-E-S-S-I-A.

Candice Elisa.

Yeah,

I'm sending you so much love and courage maybe.

And if you're like me and you feel a little bit called out by this podcast,

I hope that you manage to see that there's room for you to grow and to evolve and that you're only ever becoming a better version of yourself.

And I hope this inspires you to do so with so much courage and bravery because you've totally got this.

Have an amazing weekend.

Talk soon.

Reviews

I thought this was great! It may be an unpopular opinion doesn’t make it wrong to share. Or as you said wrong or right. Nevertheless, this was a great talk for me, cause I get too caught up in how I feel. And it was a great reminder of the other side too. Thank you.

Very insightful! Thank you. 🙏🏽

This was spot on! I remember having so much more love abs respect for others’ views when I was younger. I’d love to hear a cast on why we adults seem to get so stuck (and judge mental) in our ways.

This was right on point for how I feel in my heart about the present we are living in, and the "truth" that belongs to all of us, and need not separate us. Thank you for being brave, compassionate, and using your voice to speak about all of it. 🙏💓