Where Letting Go Sets You Free | Peace + Freedom Mindset

In this episode, we explore the power of surrender — letting go of the need to control everything and allowing faith and trust to guide you. If anxiety or pressure is keeping you stuck, this episode will help you release the weight and open up to freedom on the other side.

You'll learn how to stop forcing and let life flow and a spiritual approach to releasing control in order to ease anxiety. As always, there's a focus on the mindset shifts necessary to experience a deeper sense of freedom.

If you liked this episode, please join the conversation in the Wild Free Well Space here on Inisght Timer!

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Freewell podcast. It has been a hot minute since I've been on here and I'll admit that I have a little bit of like nerves around it which um yeah it honestly feels good because it's been a while basically the summer since I recorded an episode and it's been a while since I've done a video as well and so I don't know it kind of feels like riding a bike and learning to ride a bike at the same time it's a little bit of everything at once but that's not a bad thing and you know when we feel these kinds of butterflies or we feel a little bit of nerves it's usually a really good sign in all honesty that we're on the right path and we're moving in the right direction so I'm excited to be here talking to you today and today we are going to talk about letting go of control and yeah so letting go of control I feel like that's not something that is particularly appealing to any of us or maybe it's just me but it does not interest me at all certainly and I think that part of that comes from the fact that okay for me personally I've been in a transition period it's the longest transition period in the history of all transition periods ever and I would like to be out of it now thank you universe hear this and the reality is is that I'm not and the what happens when we're in these kinds of uncomfortable periods is that we tend to try to force to strive to do whatever it is that we do or want to do or think we need to do to get out of the situation as fast as we possibly can and I think that that's a very human reaction it's really normal for us to feel this way for that to be our experience but we actually have very little power when it comes to that situation we cannot force ourself to be on the other side of something we can take steps to be on the other side of something but when we are in a point of our lives where we're learning something that we're meant to be learning we really can't force our way out of it okay and when I say losing control okay what do I what do I mean by that I mean letting go of the letting go of the need to push strive and kind of force your way out of it right why do I say like why do I use the term losing control because what happens when we're in these situations is we tend to how can I say this we tend to begin to take control or micromanage aspects of our lives potentially even other people you know in the people that we have relationships with in order to feel like we have some form of control over our lives when we're in a situation that is making us really uncomfortable so it's again I think a very natural and human response but it's not going to get you anywhere one of the things that I will say from what I've been going through is that I have felt an increase in anxiety now I would argue that I live with a baseline of anxiety that's like relatively high and I'm not proud of it I don't think it's a good thing do not condone it do not advertise it like I'm not saying that this is something that we should all be doing but I do tend to kind of run a little bit anxious and when I'm feeling anxious it means that my baseline has increased and it's not good because if I'm already anxious as a person I already have a baseline and I'm feeling anxious on top of that right because my baseline would be something that I'm not necessarily aware of on a daily basis like the anxiety is there but it's not necessarily like something that is running the show but when I'm saying or experiencing the feeling of anxiety then that means that I've gone a level higher unfortunately obviously like none of this is a good thing but when we're in those positions maybe this is just me I somehow doubt it but perhaps it is like if I'm in a situation where I'm feeling anxiety all of a sudden I'm trying to micromanage and control everything and let me tell you how this has played out for me badly it has played out badly because all I've done is in trying to micromanage aspects of my life I've actually been far less successful in accomplishing basic things in like really relishing life enjoying life because there is this aspect of like everything kind of needs to be in control or under control and so like there's been also like a lack of lightness and a lack of spontaneity because I've been allowing the anxiety to run the show okay and like why is this important why is it important that I'm sharing this I mean that's an excellent question and I think that right now collectively we are in a situation where we're all feeling a little bit of stress whether that be because of the political situation whether that be because of the economic situation I do think that collectively there is a sort of heavier energy I would argue negative energy I would say it's not a nice thing to say but I do think that the overall energy of the people in the world like everyone is going through something very big very strong right now and like as we move around in the world we're feeling that I feel that at least I've said that even to my partner like when we are out and about just like living our daily lives like we're getting groceries like you can feel that there's a little bit more of a like sort of hectic energy okay so collectively I think that we're in the midst of this sort of discomfort and we all want to get out of it and we are in I think the midst of a transition period where maybe and I want to say this with a really optimistic point of view perhaps things are getting worse right now before they're getting better if that makes sense and so I think that this conversation is important from that perspective but I also think it's important because the theme of the podcast and my business in general would be wild free well and those are my core values those are the things that are the most important to me and in living the way that I have been living and in absorbing what I feel is the collective energy that's around right now it is making it harder to be in alignment with the things I know are most important to me and this is a huge like part like this is some of the core work that I do with clients we need to figure out what is important to us and we need to find a way to embody that and it can be really difficult to do that when we feel like we're coming up a brick wall and in this scenario that brick wall would potentially be the collective energy around us but we do have to find a way to be a little bit more aligned with what we really want in life and I don't mean want in the kind of manifestation sense I'm not talking about the external things I'm just talking about like how we want to feel we need to find a way to be connected to that on a daily basis and I think that we need to believe that the situation can get better I think easier said than done also but it is vital and that goes for the collective situation obviously and then it also goes for our personal situations but in in my case in particular I think that feeding the anxiety and what I mean by that is buying into it believing it giving it attention and not perhaps focusing on other aspects of my life has been stealing some of my freedom from me and freedom is what's on the other side despite everything that I've said to a certain extent I think that the anxiety is a choice thanks unpopular opinion I would imagine that would be a very unpopular opinion I do not think that this is true in all cases there are different kinds of anxiety but I think that the anxiety that we're feeling collectively and I think that the anxiety that I'm describing from a personal perspective is something that can be avoided if my mindset is where it needs to be so now I'm outing myself I'm mindset coach who is struggling with mindset and to that I'd almost kind of say well duh well duh because because we are often teaching the thing that we most need to learn and the thing that I talk about all the time and the thing that I love is is naturally one of the things that I am called towards I am called to work on to improve and to you know be on this planet right now to explore and so what I've been going through and what I've been feeling I think has been me choosing to believe that story I think that in my case potentially in your case and not necessarily in every case I think that anxiety is a choice because what anxiety is at least in my experience is not believing that things can be any better and feeding into the worry now this goes directly against what I would tell any client to do and I think that that is something that on my end has also been extremely frustrating because I want to live in alignment all the time but I think that this is life and I also think that in a world of like shiny shiny things shiny information shiny celebrities and you know people who are like living these quote-unquote perfect lives even the people who are teaching you how to do something are struggling and perhaps they're just not talking about it and perhaps I shouldn't be either maybe this is a bad decision at the end of the day only time will tell but but we we need to be honest with ourselves and we need to call ourselves out on our bullshit which is what I am here doing right because it's important to say the hard thing and to own the things that you're going through just being really real with yourself and striking a balance between cutting yourself some slack and being responsible for yourself and it's not always easy to be in that place to be in that balanced state of being kind and being gentle and understanding that you're just a little human you're doing the best that you can and then looking at the landscape of your life and saying this isn't it and I know that I could do better and if not better perhaps I could certainly do differently I could do things differently and then making the choices to move from there so what does that look like it looks like taking a step back and not forcing things that's the first step because if you're in a space of feeling anxious overwhelmed stressed and you are in a position where you are micromanaging your time your commitments the people in your life potentially I mean one that's no fun for anybody and it's not likely to improve your relationships over time in all honesty but if that's the case then we need to really take a step back and at first recognize that we're doing that recognize the ways in which we are trying to control every aspect of our lives and again there is a balance here because you are in control of your life yes and you are not in control of other people you are not in control of what goes on in the world necessarily I mean we all have a role to play I suppose but we are not like in control of the energy that is a that is collectively around us we are only ever in control of ourselves in control of our own energy so we have control and we don't and it's this kind of tug of war between doing your part and allowing things to unfold right and allowing yourself to be in flow with the energy of the world with the energy of the universe whatever right and being mindful about what energy you invite into your life whether that be through friends in your social circle or the people that you engage with at work or like the conversations that you have with your family or your partner or the media that you're engaging with right and that you're consuming because that all plays a massive role whether we like to believe it or not and and I think that if more people believed that it did then we would be seeing a very different world in front of us right now but we are we are obsessed with our own consumption and that is anyways a conversation for another episode but we need to be mindful of the ways that we are kind of again either fighting against what is happening so we are striving to like force control micromanage or fighting we have resistance against how we're feeling so we feel crappy or we feel anxious or we feel overwhelmed or stressed or whatever afraid whatever it might be and instead of being okay with that and saying giving yourself permission and saying okay it's okay to be here right now it's okay to feel that we're like I don't want to be here I want the shiny life I want to feel good I want to be doing xyz and we're just creating more resistance so while we're already walking in mud it's almost quickly becoming quicksand because we're fighting against ourselves and it's just making the situation worse from there I think that it's important to recognize the ways in which you do have control over your life and the things that you can do in the immediate now no there's a there's a mosquito and I am very susceptible to them they love me anyways but doing things to understand how we're influencing or exacerbating the situation so in my particular case I had mentioned I'm just I think I'm feeding the beast because I'm buying into the story of the anxiety I'm buying into the sense of worry and fear and also powerlessness which is actually really interesting because I do and I have felt I guess like I have not had the power to change my situation because the power to change my situation is here and that can be really really challenging and really confronting for for people in general including me including me like it's not it's not like there's no hierarchy here as I say all the time but we need to understand that we're not in control of everything and we and we have to understand where our point of power is and that's not always really simple to do because sometimes our point in power is recognizing the anxiety or recognizing the stress or overwhelm or whatever it is and saying oh you know that's interesting and then leaving it there and just kind of taking a step back and not buying into whatever story the stress the overwhelm and the anxiety is trying to perpetuate in your life because that's exactly what it's doing it's trying to keep you safe you need to ask yourself safe from what right safe from what in today's day and day and age like we're not being chased by animals we're not being like we're not necessarily not necessarily under attack although there are very much people living within that reality right now and that is in and of itself a problem and that is in and of itself impacting the collective energy but we need to kind of understand the role that we're playing in perpetuating the story and we need to take our power back which means not feeding the story not continuing to perpetuate it not believing the things that come into our mind about this situation whatever your version of the situation is and then kind of reframing it and and finding points of positivity which is not always simple I mean it's simple enough to find things to be positive about or grateful for but when we've been living for a prolonged period of time in a context where where we've been feeding the negative emotions then it can be more challenging to find a way to see the positive but that really is the first step and then from there I would argue to take action and in some cases depending on the way that you move in the world and this is where a certain amount of self-awareness is really important but depending on how you move in the world maybe taking action comes before reframing the story I would argue that me being here having this conversation with you is me taking action before I have necessarily managed to reframe in a really positive way the situation that I'm in so it's not that I haven't reframed it because I reframed it enough to sit down here and record this episode but perhaps this action is also the catalyst that takes that reframe to another level or integrates it a little bit deeper the main point of this whole conversation though is really that there is freedom on the other side of anxiety if we are able to allow ourselves to get there we have to make the choice at some point to kind of pull ourselves up by our bootstraps kindly gently lovingly like we're never taking self-care and you know your like self-worth and kindness out of the equation we do need to approach ourselves with those intentions always because that is what helps us get out of the situations that we don't necessarily want to be in but we can't just we have to do something we have to make a change we have to make another decision whatever that might be right because what is on the line is our own well-being and I said at the beginning of the episode that my core values for my own personal existence for my life and for my business are the same so wild free well and and what that means to me is just the freedom to be who I am and all do what I want to do and be the fullest version of myself and be well it really just that's the whole story wild is like exploring and being maybe somewhat adventurous and all of those things lead to a really comprehensive version of the person that I know I'm meant to be here and it can be really hard where we know something about ourselves and we feel disconnected from it and that comes sometimes in moments of transition or challenge or whatever but we can if we can also tap into those things and find ways to make them more prevalent in our lives that'll also help us to move beyond the situation and to reach another level I think too I had said earlier that when we are in this space of control and micromanaging it takes the lightness and the spontaneity out of life because the more that we're trying to have things out of under control so that we don't get thrown off course any more than we already are because we already feel like we've been thrown off course we already feel like the anxiety or the fear the overwhelm is running the show and we're trying to stop more of that from coming into our lives I mean yes the the main idea here would be that we are also perpetuating it and of course that's true but when we are managing micromanaging our lives when we're controlling things we are not leaving space for other good things to come into our lives because those things come in unexpected ways and when we're controlling we are blocking the unexpected we are doing everything in our power to avoid a situation that is unexpected because the unexpectedness of it when your system is already like you know kind of at a high level or wired is really triggering it becomes even more stressful but there are good things in spontaneity there are good things in not knowing one of the things that Tony Robbins says is that you know humans need and I don't know if this is actually from Tony Robbins but that's the person I heard talking about it humans need certainty and uncertainty in equal measure in order to live well in order to have a really well-balanced life and so that is something really important to keep in mind like yes you think that it's keeping you safe if you are controlling your life but it's also closing you off from goodness and it becomes this sort of self-fulfilling prophecy as well where you're feeding the beast as I've said too many times on this episode and you're just perpetuating the cycle and you're not leaving room for something new and good to come in and then when something does come in that's new and good right if we can allow that then that also creates a you know a spiral like it also helps us move forward it also creates a positive ripple effect in our lives it happens with us with on the negative side of things just the same as it happens on the positive side if we let it if we let it and then the last thing that I want to reiterate before I close out this episode is that freedom really is on the other side of all of this yes it really is it's hard to imagine and I get that but if we can learn to let go of control and we can learn to live in the uncertainty of life and I would argue that this requires a more balanced nervous system and a certain amount of self-care which we did not touch on in this episode and we can definitely come back to that but if we can allow ourselves to live in a little bit of uncertainty if we can care for ourselves enough that we can hold that energy or hold space for that energy that is where we are able to engage with new ideas we are able to be more inspired right you're not going to necessarily be inspired from a heavier closed off space when you're micromanaging and controlling the ideas aren't necessarily going to come um the it's not going to feel light it's not going to feel like you are living life it's going to feel like you are existing and I know that if you're here watching this or listening to this that that's not the life that you want for yourself and I know for damn sure it's not the life I want for me obviously um and so like that yeah it's just it's it's really important to keep in mind of all that you stand to gain if you can just kind of Jesus take the wheel you know about things put your hands in the air and just kind of surrender and let go um within reason and you know what the limit is you know what you need to let go of and don't want to you know what you need to do to change and don't want to um you know what is holding you back you don't want to know but you know trust I know that you know and I know that you know that you know but we don't want to admit it because it's scary and that's okay too that's okay too because we're human and like it's all part of this game called life that we are all playing um and just one more thing that I'm going to repeat as well um because I will say it until the day I die we need to be mindful of what we are consuming we just are not people are mistaking the information that they are reading online as informing themselves yes and no I'm going to say yes and no we need to be really really mindful of what we let in I don't care about the source I don't care if it's mass media or if it's independent media that's not the point that's not the point we need to be informed yes we need to be aware of what's going on in the world okay I agree but we need to be mindful of how much time we spend sitting in that space I cannot tell you how many clients over the course of the years I have convinced to stop watching the news and I cannot tell you either because it's difficult to quantify how much their lives have changed just from that one simple thing we need to be informed we need to be mindful of what that looks like and how often we are engaging with these things and when in our day we are engaging with them probably not a great idea to do it first thing in the morning an equally bad idea to do it last thing at night okay so being really mindful of the way that we are allowing the collective energy into our space into our lives into our energy field so that we can be the best version of ourselves and I would argue that the best version of ourselves are not people who are hyper consuming any kind of content any kind of content including this kind of content I don't care I understand that I'm here filming this I understand that I'm here telling you these things I understand that sometimes they're useful hopefully all the time that would that's the dream that's the goal but I'm not going to lie and kid myself and say that it is but we need to be mindful of the content that we are consuming under all aspects under every umbrella I really don't care because any content that you're consuming including positive content is still going to be in some ways drowning out the voice in here and the voice in here and those are the voices that we really need to be listening to that is where our truth lies that is where our connection to something bigger and grander than us lies so we need to have pockets of silence and moments where we are not hyper consuming content of any kind in order to really hear what the hell is going on inside of us so that would be my final kind of plea I'm grateful that you're here listening to this so so grateful but I do really feel like and you'll know when by the way you'll know when you've reached your limit you will know you will feel it inside of you when the season of input versus output shifts so you will know when you cannot take in anymore you will you will have an innate knowing you will understand inherently that it is a moment where you are not meant to be consuming any more content and in that case I beg of you be brave and don't do it whether it's positive or otherwise it doesn't matter it really really really doesn't matter our systems need a break from the reality in which we find ourselves we cannot constantly live in this space we cannot constantly be consuming 24 7 and so I mean that's a it's a whole other episode but any case for now I will leave you there so as always this episode was a little bit heavier more serious less fun than they usually are um and I'm sorry for that but I do feel like we had an important discussion and I really hope that it served you that's the whole point I hope that this has some kind of positive effect on you or that it it sparks an aha or that you you know disliked it so much and disagreed so much that it gave you another idea and if that's the case tell me but tell me what your other idea is I don't want to hear just that you disagreed I want to hear why you disagreed and I want to know what it was that it made you feel or made you realize um so yes because it's all welcome here it's all welcome here it has been so lovely engaging with you and if you'd like to know more about me or the work I do in the world you know where to find me and otherwise I will see you on the next episode of the podcast ciao

Reviews

Fabulous talk! Very validating. Thanks for sharing ykur wisdom. 🙏🏻

This talk was fantastic, honest and very helpful and I thank you. As a caregiver to my father (whose behavior is problematic and “uncontrollable “) I appreciate the lesson here. It’s time for boundaries. It’s time to let go of control, even as I continue to care for him. I need to care for myself too as no one else does at this time in my life. Thank you so much. 🌛❤️🌜