Leaning Into The Process (Healing Mindset)

In this episode of the podcast, I break down how to truly lean into the process of moving towards your goals, releasing, and healing. These processes are rarely linear and while it'd be nice to teleport from point A to point B, that's rarely the case. This episode will walk you through how to lean into the process and truly enjoy the journey.

Please note: This track may include some explicit/strong language.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Free Will podcast.

I am here today to talk to you about the process and whatever that process might be,

But more importantly,

I'm here to talk to you about accepting and really leaning into the process.

Now the process can be anything.

It depends on what you're going through in your life,

But I mean it can be the process of getting fit or the process of building a business or making changes or maybe you're in transition like I was months ago and let's be honest,

Kind of still am.

But yeah,

Like moving from one place to another or you're changing jobs or you're moving to a new town or whatever it might be,

Whatever goals you're working towards,

Wherever you're kind of headed.

Because the process,

I mean we hear it all the time,

It's a cliche like it's not about the destination,

It's about the journey.

And it's terrible,

Like I hate saying stuff like this because it's awful,

But it's also true in a lot of ways.

And so I think so many of us like struggle with this idea of like being in the midst of something or being in the process of doing something and we don't really enjoy it because we just want to arrive.

I know I'm really this,

I'm this way in a lot of ways because I'm,

I have a tendency towards impatience and I've gotten a lot better mostly because life has been kicking my ass that way.

Like it's been forcing me to be patient in a way that I normally am not.

Just because like my life circumstances have not,

Yeah they've not given me the option.

So I think that like the last six months,

Which is something I realize now I've been living in the new house and the new city and everything for like six months,

Which is nuts.

It does not feel like that long at all.

Like it,

It doesn't feel like that long and then it feels longer at the same time.

But yeah,

Like just in thinking about this situation that I'm in and like I don't have a lot of control over a lot of the things that are happening right now and like just like varying schedules and not really being able to like find a balance with the way things are because my partner is both working and going to school and I'm working.

You know,

It's just,

It is what it is.

So the reason why I want to talk about this,

Besides the fact that it is definitely something that I'm like actively working on and I think that I've come to a really good point about like with this,

God,

English is hard.

Sorry.

I've come to a good point with this.

But one of the things that I notice is that like there's this obsession in our culture.

I mean like instant gratification and social media and we can have this conversation forever and we're not going to today.

But like we don't necessarily move from point A to point B at the snap of a finger.

And I know that like quantum leaps are a big deal in like the coaching industry and stuff like that.

Like a lot of people are talking about how you can make these big changes in a really short period of time.

And like I talk about that too.

And it's definitely true.

I think when you're in a container where someone is holding space for you,

I think that coaching makes this a possibility in a way that it is not when you're doing it on your own.

So for the purpose of this conversation,

We are going to assume that you are going it alone and you are not in a container where you are being provided guidance support,

Where you're constantly being led back to yourself and you know kind of being guided.

So if you're doing things on your own,

If you're moving towards your goal on your own,

It's really important that you recognize that it's not necessarily this like teleportation from point A to point B.

And I want to point out too that this is not just about achieving goals,

But it's also about things like healing or releasing things.

Sometimes we can do it right away and we feel that sense of release,

But there's also a chance that like something comes up again that kind of re-triggers us and we have to kind of go through the process again.

And there's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong with you if you find yourself in that situation,

Right?

Because sometimes when we get to a new level or we get to a new position or a new situation or whatever,

We experience the thing that we thought we healed or released from a different perspective.

Okay?

And I'm not talking about healing in the pseudo-spiritual,

Pseudo-psychological way that we talk about it a lot.

A lot of the times today or like the way that you hear it being talked about,

I'm talking about like even healing in terms of like health or like when you're going through some kind of like physical healing.

In particular,

Like we could talk for example about burnout.

Burnout is actually something that I'm researching a little bit about right now.

And like when we're in these situations of like burnout or these kinds of like,

You know,

It's not a disease.

I don't even know what you would call it,

But these kinds of situations when we're experiencing these kinds of disease,

At least in our body where we're not like really in balance,

We have to remember that healing is a process and it's not linear.

So we're not necessarily just going to go from point A to point B or maybe some days you go from point A to point B and then you come back to point A or you come back halfway.

Or like A and a half or whatever,

Right?

Like it's,

It's,

It's just,

It's all this movement in this process,

Right?

And it's,

It's a lot like waves are in the ocean.

There is this like ebb and flow and you move forward and then sometimes you come back and then you move forward again and like,

That's okay.

And I want to remind you too,

Like that the process is part of the plan and it's part of the integration of new skills and habits.

This is true for goals,

For healing and for releasing.

So like when we're talking about goals,

If you're wanting to move from where you are now to the vision that you have of the future,

That future version of you has different skills or enhanced skills than the version of you does right now,

Right?

Like when we move to a new level,

We gain new skills,

New habits,

New routines.

We move differently in the world,

Right?

The way that we are is different on some level.

And so it takes time to a certain extent in terms of mastery to integrate these skills,

Right?

If we want to change the way that we do things,

Like take something simple like running,

Like how did I learn to run?

Oh,

This is such a good example actually,

Because when I learned to run,

It was 2013.

I'd always wanted to run and let me tell you how I used to do it.

Okay.

I would go for a run and at the beginning I'd be like,

This isn't actually that hard.

And then in about five minutes I'd be huffing and puffing and then I'd be like,

Oh,

This is too hard.

Like I'm just not a runner.

Well,

Yeah,

I wasn't a runner at that point because like I'd never put my body through that kind of physical exertion.

And so it wasn't ready to run more than that because I hadn't kind of trained or practiced to build up the muscle of running.

Right.

So what did I do?

I use this app.

I will tell you about it forever.

I have told every single human that has told me that they want to start running about this app.

I am not an affiliate.

There's no,

Like this is not paid promotion.

I just absolutely love it.

It's called,

Um,

C2 5k.

So C the letter C2 5k and it stands for couch potato to 5k,

Which I love.

And like,

It basically takes you through,

Um,

Like calculated and like,

Uh,

Timed runs where you're doing things for a period of time and you're slowly building up over time until you get to the point where you can run 5k without stopping.

So like the first one is like,

I think you run a minute and a half,

You walk a minute and a half and you do that for 30 minutes and then it builds up from there.

And that's how you build the skill of running.

You do it a little bit over time and your body rests in between the runs in order to integrate and to renew the muscles and all the jazz that happens.

I'm not a scientist,

I'm not a kinesiologist,

You know what I mean?

So like,

But it does,

Right?

It does these things.

It goes through this upgrade in the meantime and then eventually you get to the point where you can run a 5k and then if you want to run a 10k or you want to run a half marathon or you want to run a marathon,

Then you're going to go through a similar process.

You're going to maybe like run for 5k and then walk for a little bit and then,

You know,

Run another 5k or whatever.

Like you're going to build up that muscle over time.

And so it's like the same with absolutely anything else.

Like if you're moving towards a goal,

You're going to show up a little bit every day and you're going to practice and you're going to do the things and over time you are going to build that muscle and not only the muscle of like showing up,

But you're also going to build self-confidence,

Like self-belief in yourself every time you show up,

Right?

So you're building that muscle and you're building new habits of like how you show up and how you move in the world and you're probably changing your routine to incorporate whatever it is that you're working towards as well,

Right?

And the same is true for healing and like I'll be honest,

This one is pissing me off a little bit because I am definitely in a space of like burnout and I am like in the process of healing that and so like it's really frustrating because,

Well,

It's really frustrating for many reasons and one of them being that the information that I found online about healing burnout is,

Leaves so,

So much to be desired and we're actually going to come back to this on another episode of the podcast because I'm going to talk just about this,

But the information that I'm finding just is not an answer to the question that I have of like how to move through healing,

Like how to be in the healing process of dealing with or facing burnout,

Okay?

And so like I find myself really frustrated that like I'm looking for some kind of information and support and I'm looking on like websites that are reputable and stuff like that,

Although not that it makes a difference because the information that I found is ridiculous,

But it's so frustrating because I want to just be healed,

Like I don't want to be in this area,

This stage of like the healing process,

I want to go from being burnt out,

Okay,

One good night's sleep and then ready to go on the other side and that's not how healing works,

Right?

So it's again this idea of like,

Well,

What skills do I need?

And maybe less skills when we're talking about,

About healing,

But definitely,

Definitely,

Definitely how can I change my routine?

What do I need to incorporate?

What do I need to remove?

What habits can I nourish that make me feel better and that are going to support my healing?

Absolutely.

So like it's all about that process and like think about it too,

How long have you been doing things this way for?

So whatever it is that you're working towards,

How long have you been doing them in one way?

Especially if you're like talking about healing or you're talking about like you have some kind of illness or upset,

Maybe you're in a really anxious period of your life or a really stressful period of your life where you're,

You too are experiencing burnout,

How long have you been in that energy for?

How long have you been feeling that way,

Right?

So you've been approaching the situation for a period of time and that's what's built up to this moment,

So that's what's built up to like the climax of like stress,

Anxiety or burnout or whatever it is for you,

Right?

Whatever your experience is,

It's going to take time to shift the way that you've been doing things up until now to a way that supports you more.

Now it doesn't have to take a long time but it is going to take like a day by day shift of like okay I was showing up this way or I was working this many hours or I was exercising this many times per week and now I need to do something gentler or different or whatever,

Right?

And like yeah again just to reiterate it doesn't have to take a long time but it can take time to integrate things into your new life,

Right?

And again also to remove the things that are no longer serving you,

So like it can take time to break a habit that you no longer want to have in your life.

So like for me in terms of burnout I'm going to call myself out because if I'm not doing that is it even the podcast but like I was playing a game on my phone and it was my way of kind of like numbing and distracting myself when I was stressed to kind of just bring me back down to neutral but then I'd get into a rabbit hole with it where I would like play for a lot longer than I'd want to and it was becoming counterproductive.

So it took me a while to realize that this was a problem then it took me a while to disengage from the game and then it took me a split second decision to delete it and I did.

I deleted it because I realized that it's no longer serving me so or serving me but in a way that I don't want it to be serving me so and I don't want to like maintain that habit anymore so I deleted it.

But like it took a while to get from like okay I'm using this as a coping mechanism to I don't want to do this anymore to actually getting to the point where like I was ready to let that go and not have it as a coping mechanism anymore.

And like one of the things that is I think we talk about a lot and if you're following people on social media in the personal development realm there's a lot of like I think marketing towards like 90 days and I'll help you build your business or you know 30 days and you'll lose X number of pounds or whatever and there's nothing necessarily bad about those things and they might be true for some people or they might be true in general like it's not it's not not about throwing shade here but the reason why I mention these is because when we have these time frames on things and we're constantly engaging with this kind of content that is using these specific timelines and words and things like that we're not necessarily aware that it's a marketing tactic and so we feel this pressure though that like well if this person can do it in 30 days why can't I do you know what I mean and why can't this be faster like why can't I just be healed why can't I just feel better why can't I just get to my goal right away like you know what I mean and we're not really okay with the process let alone enjoying the process because like I'll be honest going back to the discussion of burnout the process of healing burnout could be really enjoyable because the process of healing burnout it requires me to remove a lot of things that are not serving me in in any case case in point the game and it's also about incorporating more things that I like so if I'm willing to change my attitude about this situation if I'm willing to do some mindset work around the situation and change the story that I'm telling myself like this journey and this process does not need to be hard quote-unquote or difficult or challenging or long or annoying or whatever it gets to be enjoyable if I decide that it gets to be enjoyable right I can come at it with a really positive reframe saying like well how lucky that I now am being forced I guess it's not really nice but you're I'm in a position where I'm you know now focusing on and doing things I really enjoy because that's necessary for my well-being that's the next step in my evolution that's the next step on my journey right and like that is so much I think of what we're missing to like how often and we've heard this story before I'll say it again but I mean we've heard it how often do we like hear stories about people who like wanted the goal so bad whatever the goal is it was the car it was the house it was the job it was the girl it was the relationship it was the wedding it was whatever and then they get there and they're like oh is that it like we're just we're just done now like we're just here like oh you know and there isn't that joy because I think there is a lot of truth in this idea that if you're not enjoying the lead up to where you want to go it's unlikely that you're gonna get a kick out of being where being at the final destination it just is it's really unlikely because there wasn't that kind of intention and infusion of joy along the way so when you get to where you're going it's gonna be like okay I'm here what's next and like that too can be really really really unhealthy because we're never giving ourselves a break we're never really resting we're never really sinking in to where we are whether that be where we are in the process or where we are when we finally quote-unquote arrive at whatever the destination is that we're working towards whether that's goal achievement or healing right and I just yeah I wanted to kind of bring this reframe so like when we're in this process of whatever of goal achievement of working towards the house the car the wedding the dog the kid the family the whatever the dream job the career change the move abroad the whatever doesn't matter okay when we're working towards that or when we're healing through something whether that's like being coming out on the other side of depression or anxiety or facing stress or dealing with burnout or whatever it might be right or we've received a diagnosis and we have to like now change the way that we move in the world it can be a huge shock and we need to be present with ourselves and honor ourselves of course and then remember that we get to make the most of this process because this process is called life full stop the process of whatever it is that you are working towards whether it's goal achievement or healing is literally days of your life that you are putting towards this thing hoping that when you get there you feel a certain way so you had damn well better be sure that you're feeling that way along the way because otherwise you're going to get there and look around and still be searching for something right there is going to be something that is elusive or that is eluding you that you're not able to really feel because we need to feel first we need to be in that place first so accepting that we're where we are accepting the process of getting from where we are to where we want to be and really trying to infuse joy and happiness and laughter and play and rest fucking fuck rest right like tons of rest extra rest when you think you've rested rest some more um infusing rest into what we're doing so that we can get to where we're going in a really really pleasant and high vibe state in order to kind of enjoy the view before we look up the next mountain and be like okay let's go so yes I think this is where I leave you um I hope you found this episode useful helpful inspiring and all the good stuff and um I hope that you take something away please don't listen to me and not do something what I mean by that is get out a journal ask yourself the questions please don't use this podcast as spiritual entertainment that is so not what it's here for my my biggest intention is that you take something tangible away from this and that you are able to really make a change in your life and if you are struggling to make a change and you are looking for support please reach out to me and let's see if we can make something work together and I can support you in some way if I can support you in some way and like also to make sure that we're a good fit I mean if you listen to any of these episodes I feel like you got a pretty good glimpse of my vibe but it is a little bit different when we work one-on-one but if that's something that you're interested in please reach out otherwise it's all the good stuff all the same good stuff that I say every week um you know subscribe and share and leave a review if you feel called to and answer the poll if that works for you and like yeah I welcome anything comments critiques concerns all of it is good here that's how we learn and grow so thank you so much for being here and I hope you have an amazing weekend and I will see you on the next episode of the podcast.

Ciao!

Reviews

Great talk. Your examples, vulnerability and challenges are refreshing and many people can appreciate that as we all deal with challenges and obstacles. Love your example of Intermittent Training, when you began running 🏃‍♀️.
The challenge or the process (the destination) isn't always the hard part. Once we conquer, then what🤔 There's always another hill to climb, or run 😉 Thank you 💕