On Judgment

Here in this recorded live meditation session, we explore the concept of judgment and how to respond skillfully when others judge us, when we think to judge others, and when we judge ourselves.

Please note: This track was recorded live and may contain background noises.

Transcript

So if you've never meditated before or not with me,

Just get into a nice comfortable seated or lying position.

It is encouraged that your head is above your shoulders,

Above your hips,

Sort of like Jenga,

Just stacked on top of one another.

Maybe even leaning from side to side,

Rocking gently to find where your middle point is today.

And once you're there,

Just taking the time to explore this posture they've chosen,

Seeing if there's any room for you to relax even further into this position.

And maybe it's as simple as just taking a deep breath in,

Letting it flow through your entire being,

And exhale,

Releasing out.

And whenever you're ready,

You can gently close your eyes on your own time or have them open.

It's up to you.

But I'd like you to think about what your intention for this practice is today.

How are you orienting?

Is there a reason that you came to this meditation at this time at 2.

06 PM?

Is there something that you hope to experience or that you hope will be revealed to you?

Or maybe it's as simple as my intention is to practice.

Seeing if you can send that intention down deep into your bones,

Into your very tissue,

With the eyes closed,

If you're able to find a way to live through this intention that you have chosen.

And just as easily as it arrived,

Letting the intention release,

Trusting that the universe will work it out for you.

And again,

With the eyes closed,

I'd like you to recall a time in which you felt judged by another person or possibly judged by yourself.

A time when you felt judged and it really had a significant impact on you.

Maybe it shook up your day or carried over into the next day,

Into the next hours.

Are those same feelings arising?

Can you be present and kind to them?

However they show up in this body.

Who was there?

What was involved?

If you had to assign a color to this feeling,

What would you say?

What color flows through your body?

This discomfort or this unease?

And as we are still in this space,

Are we able to breathe in full acceptance of ourselves?

Or letting go of anything that doesn't serve us?

Maybe it's as simple as that.

Maybe when we feel judged,

It's as simple as inviting a deep breath in and out,

Cleansing the body,

Cleansing the mind of any negativity or worry.

And that is not static.

It doesn't need to stay anywhere in the body.

Just as quickly as it enters your system,

You can allow yourself to let it go.

So just play with your breath,

Still keeping in mind the circumstance of this feeling.

And just moment by moment,

Paying attention to this feeling of judgment as it ripples throughout the body,

Noticing moment to moment how it changes and morphs.

And now that we've settled down a little bit,

Taking the same situation,

Are you able to imagine that this person that has judged you is sitting directly in front of you,

Cross-legged as you are or sitting in a chair just as you are?

Are you able to look into their eyes?

These eyes that have remained unchanged throughout their years but have seen everything that there is for their experience to see,

These eyes that have wept tears,

These eyes that have crinkled with joy,

These eyes that have grown weary from work,

Sleepless nights,

Anxiety,

Panic attacks,

These eyes that have glowed so brightly amidst their first love.

And are you able to see that this judgment that they have placed upon you has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with them?

Are you able to feel compassion,

Genuine compassion,

This person in front of you for whatever pain they have endured or samsara they have suffered that has made them feel as if they have to deal with it by judging another person or sharing their pain through maladaptive means with other people?

Are you able to smile at them?

These are all questions,

Right?

There's no forcing.

If it's not here today,

That is fine.

Just being present with it.

Are you able to smile at them and say to them from the core of your heart,

You are loved.

You are loved.

You are not broken.

You are not broken.

You I accept you exactly as you are.

I accept you exactly as you are knowing by the way that accepting again,

Doesn't have anything to do with you or your reflections or feelings about this person,

But giving them this feeling of acceptance that you have within yourselves,

Sharing that with them through the phrase.

I accept you as you are.

I accept you exactly as you are.

Taking a moment to pause,

Checking in to the heart,

Checking into the body.

Does this feel good?

Has anything changed from that initial moment of judgment that we've experienced?

As you look upon this person,

Are there any other words that you'd like to exchange with them?

Anything you'd like them to know?

Maybe as simple as I see you.

I see your pain.

I feel your pain maybe.

And as you allow this person to fade away,

Checking back in with the self,

Yourself,

Either staying with the same setting,

The same sense of judgment,

Or choosing a different scenario.

From my reading,

I found that some of the most often reasons that we judge other people are that we don't know a person well,

Yet.

That we cannot identify with a person's belief system,

Values,

Or behavior.

Or that the person somehow threatens how we perceive ourselves.

So I think it's important to take that example,

Whatever example you'd like to choose,

And just ask the question,

Are any of these possibly the reasons that we feel judged?

Is it simply because we feel slightly off-putted by this person who we don't know?

Or that we feel that we can't identify with their belief system or their behavior,

Their perspective on the world,

And that's abrasive or uncomfortable?

Or is it perhaps,

Again,

That the person somehow threatens how we perceive ourselves?

Maybe you felt like you were losing weight and someone calls you fat or the chubby girl,

And you thought to yourself,

No,

I thought I was making progress here.

Or perhaps you felt like you were someone that could be depended upon by anyone,

And then someone says you're not reliable.

And you think,

Where does that come from?

And so taking this example,

Asking the question,

Is any part of this a reflection of myself?

Does any part of this reflect a sort of identity that I have associated with myself or values that I feel I must have in order to be Kainan Bracey or in order to be John Cavanaugh for this person I decided I am?

Just take a moment to explore.

And now I'm going to flip the tables and think of a time in which you felt that you judged another person other than yourself.

Maybe you said it out loud.

Maybe it was a thought in your head,

Or maybe you were guilty of water cooler gossip with your coworkers or friends or people you know.

There was a time where you said,

Wow,

I judged that person.

And again,

Tuning into this body,

How does it feel to judge?

As an experiment,

Not as a reflection of your worth or your value as a person,

Not saying you're a good or bad person for judging people,

But just as sort of a scientific experiment,

How does it feel to judge?

What color is it in the body?

Does it feel the same or different than being judged by another person?

Where does the judgment drive from?

Is it something that comes from the heart and is spoken or is thought?

Is it something that you feel from your very bones?

Is it something that is purely alone in the mind and stays there?

And if you have said these words to a person where a person felt guarded or as if they were being judged,

How did it feel having those words land on someone to sit with this other human being experiencing the great discomfort of judgment?

Does the emotion shift?

Do you feel worse about yourself?

Is there an immediate regret or a clutching of your heart?

Oh,

I'm sorry,

I didn't mean for you to feel judged by what I said.

And taking this example of this one time that you felt you were judging someone,

Take some time to think,

Just ponder about where it came from,

Or really not even analyzing anything,

But just letting your body answer the question,

Where did this particular judgment arise from?

Just complex,

Let it be complex.

If it's simple and you already have it,

Just sit in that feeling for a moment,

Seeing if any other realizations may come.

And again,

Patience with yourself,

Being kind to yourself,

Seeing this other person that you felt you have judged,

Looking them in the eyes,

Are you able to tell them genuinely,

I accept you exactly as you are?

I accept you exactly as you are.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are not broken.

You are loved.

You are loved.

You are loved.

Anything else that you may want to say to this person?

And what feelings occur in the body as a result of this?

Is there a sadness or happiness,

A weight lifted off your shoulders,

Or just a subtle feeling of love and kindness as we say these words?

And noticing how these words have landed on them,

If maybe they are smiling or there is a weight lifted off of them,

In yourself as well,

As this icky feeling of judgment shifted in some way,

Become lighter,

Less opaque.

And jumping really far ahead now,

Letting this person go,

Thinking of every living sentient being at this moment on this planet,

Taking in the whole of every creature,

Big or small,

Human or non,

Even plant forms if you're a green thumb,

Saying with resounding energy either aloud or in your mind,

You are loved.

You are loved.

You are loved.

There is nothing wrong with you.

I accept you exactly as you are.

I accept you exactly as you are.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be healthy in mind,

In body,

In spirit.

You are loved.

You are loved.

You are loved.

Can you feel that this almost limitless capacity for your love to be shared with everyone,

For your acceptance,

Your compassion to other people?

Knowing that that resides within you,

That that is in your heart,

Just as we have the capacity to judge and separate people,

We also have this ability to share warmth and love with others,

To be the change we want to see,

To be cliche.

And so spending the last few minutes of this meditation not trying to focus on anything or accomplish anything,

Just being here in the space that we have created,

Letting this experience be what it is,

Nothing more,

Nothing less.

Thank you.

When you're ready,

You may gently open your eyes,

Bringing this meditation to a close.

Reviews

Thank you so much! This meditation has been incredibly helpful for me at a difficult time in my life.