Hello,
My name is Karish Dina Rilofin.
I'm a Chinese face reader and meditation creator.
Today,
Using some observations I've made from the five elements,
The principles of Chinese medicine,
We're going to talk about emotional pain.
If there's one thing more inevitable in life than death and taxes,
Pain is it.
One question that has been in my mind over the years is,
If pain is inevitable,
Then how do you heal it?
How do you cope with it?
And this question is always in my mind when reading about the suffering in the world.
I see it when you're caused by emotional pain,
Which has stagnated into darkness,
Which is sometimes violent,
Sometimes not.
Physical pain and physical wounds are very different to emotional,
That much we know.
If I was cut,
There would be blood,
Which I would need to clean,
Apply pressure and get a bandage.
If the cut was severe,
I'd need to call emergency services and go to a hospital and receive urgent medical attention.
Then in a few weeks and maybe longer,
I'd have a scar.
A physical wound is very linear and time orientated.
But if there was any emotional trauma in the mind from that cut,
Say if I was attacked and stabbed,
The process of healing would be much,
Much longer and trickier.
And this is the other thing.
This trauma and healing is nonlinear and not time orientated and depends if you're conscious of the emotional pain or have repressed it far down.
And so it will persist for a long time until you feel neutral about the instant and then that neutrality will move into the freedom of forgetting.
The topic of this talk is obviously very long and requires more attention than I can give it.
So I'm going to try and make a point on this topic that could help you.
So let's get back to nonlinear.
Any medicine associates healing as an activity with the image of water in nature.
Is water a linear thing?
Rivers curve and bend,
Meander and wander,
Go this way and that way.
Even the sea is controlled by the moon,
Which over the years has been associated with mystery.
Healing and being healed,
Recovery and recovering are mysterious nonlinear things.
In order to heal emotional pain,
You need to ease your frustrations and expectations for this to be done in a month.
You need to know that your healing process is slow,
But also random and unexpected.
You need to be as patient as the river is.
Second thing.
And now for a second thing.
In this Western world,
There is an assumption or at least a cultural standard that the tangible physical world is the real world.
When that is our baseline,
Then the natural assumption is that what is not physical is not real and is all in our heads.
So when it comes to emotional pain,
Our inner worlds,
Our emotions and other emotions and other people's emotions,
We've been conditioned that it's not real because it's not real.
It's not tangible.
There's no framework to heal and deal even less to acknowledge and accept the emotional pain.
So here's the third thing.
To heal your emotional pain,
You need to know that it's real and that the world inside you that you have is also real.
As real as flesh and blood,
As real as the clothes you wear,
As real as your pet cat,
As real as the incident that started all of this.
If healing is associated with water in Chinese medicine,
Then think on how water is.
Water doesn't do anything.
It simply is.
It's being.
That's the hardest thing to understand about healing and emotional pain is learning how to be with it.
Notice and listen.
Focus on it.
Pulling rather than doing anything with it as doing can sometimes easily become ignoring that pain through action.
We need to embrace and love the mess.
There is no beginning or end and there's no point in organizing and analyzing your pain.
That ignores your suffering and it's also very difficult,
Much,
Much harder than being with it.
The analysis helps the emotional pain to multiply and spread to talk and express again with the same words about this pain a year after it's happened to where this pain as who you are and fully part of your identity only helps the emotional wound to fester and multiply.
There is no beginning and end,
Only the middle and we need only start.
Whoever hurt you was hurt and the grandparent of that pain was hurt as well.
If we wish to say that to change or for the attack,
The incident to have never happened,
We're asking forces of history and societal pressures to be completely different to fit our whims.
We're placing the onus of responsibility of healing on our abuser who themselves needed healing and wasn't able to give it to themselves.
There's a level of self-absorption to inflict and perpetuate pain and we take on that level of self-absorption when we take on victimhood and we cannot ask self-absorbed people to heal us.
That's impossible.
But what is possible is that we can directly claim that power for ourselves.
Leave their pain with them and inquire into our own.
That is practical and brave.
With being with whatever you're feeling,
You always start in the middle of the mess and one moment at a time observe the quality of pain and where it is in your body.
Let's do a tiny bit of that now and I'll do it with you.
When you're ready,
Notice the weight of your tongue in your mouth,
Your posture in your seat and the sound and quality of my voice and notice the quality of air in the room around you as you breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Now ask yourself,
How are you feeling today?
Are you feeling tired,
Angry,
Happy or upset?
Or is it something else?
Is it surprising to notice this emotion and where is it in your body?
When you have noticed what this emotion is,
Stay with it and return to the breath.
Breathe in and out of that emotion.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Now ask a part of yourself,
A part of you that knows how to bring to the surface a part of you that is in pain and requires attention.
Good.
We don't need to know where this pain is from or from what.
Just notice its quality.
Is it dull,
Loud,
Soft?
Where is it in your body?
When you have noticed this pain,
Stay with it and return to the breath.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Your breath is your lifeline.
Continue to breathe in and out as I continue to talk.
I need you to know that any emotions or further pain that may arise,
They are real and they are valid.
It is safe to feel this pain.
It is safe to feel alive today.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe through any tears,
Any memories that arise,
Any further emotions.
Keep breathing,
Breathing and breathing.
Breathe in and breathe out.
And there we go.
Some part of you has now been healed.
Keep listening to this track and breathing if you need longer or to just process what's happened in the words I've spoken.
Come back as many times as you like or not at all.
I'll be sure to put the meditative breathing exercise as a different track on my page so you don't have to go through the talk again.
Thank you so much for listening and your time and energy and I'll see you around.
All right.
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