Ep 3: The 2% Principle: Elevating your Vision

Barbara & Wenlin discuss solution to boredom or routine at work (It starts with 'U') & Why it's important to grow your vision. Wenlin talks about the evolution of her Yoga teaching experience and 3 words from Wenlin's ex-boss that will revolutionize the way you think. Together, they discuss the 2% principle & how it can leave lasting impact and transform the lives of others.

Transcript

Welcome to BW No Filter with Barbara and Wenlin.

Hi Wenlin,

How are you doing?

I'm good.

It's been an intense couple of weeks.

There have been quite a few things unfolding in my life,

Launching lots of different things in February,

But also in March as well,

Including,

For example,

We are launching this podcast in March,

Right,

1st of March.

And then also this week,

Which is the last week of February,

I think,

No,

Maybe the second last week of February,

I've been launching a program which is called Focus and Flow for Women Changemakers,

And also concurrently at the same time,

Preparing for another special interview that's happening next week.

And how about you?

What's been going on in your life?

Wow,

So much.

I'm very busy with work.

I'm very busy with creating a new,

Upgraded vision for my future.

Something I really love to do.

I do it every year.

But this is like,

I've just turned 35,

And I don't know why I have it in my head.

It's like this milestone kind of birthday.

And it was like,

Oh,

My goodness,

I'm reaching 40 in just five years.

How can that happen?

So I said,

No,

Now I need to upgrade a lot of the things that I want for my life.

So that was kind of like,

Wow,

I didn't expect that to happen.

But it happened.

And so the last month,

I was like,

Now there are a lot of things that I want to do different.

So I'm doing the same things,

But with a complete upgraded approach.

So it feels so weird and exciting at the same time.

And I have to add,

I don't feel like a grown up.

And I'm not doing this.

So like,

Oh,

I settle and I become a boring person.

No,

I'm just saying,

Come on,

I'm going to be 40 in five years.

I'm going to be old.

My life is just running out of time.

I still have so many things that I want to do.

And I don't want to miss out,

But I don't want to rush them.

So I'm like,

Super,

Super excited.

So a lot of things are happening right now.

Well,

That sounds really interesting.

Can you elaborate a little bit more about this concept of like upgraded vision?

Yeah,

I'm so curious.

Oh,

Upgraded vision.

Yeah.

I mean,

I always have it like,

Because I realized that I have liked the exact same things for my entire life.

You know,

Like I had been at the same time,

I'm very unpredictable,

But I'm very predictable.

And the unpredictability on me,

It's like people are surprised that I keep changing the approaches.

But if you look back,

Like my entire life is like,

I always do the same.

But it looks so different for the viewer because I keep changing the way I do it.

That's what I call an upgrade,

Because I do something and I get bored very easily.

So I realize like,

OK,

Now I want to give it a twist.

I just don't want to change the thing completely,

But I upgrade it.

So I make it in a new way.

And right now,

I think this is affecting my entire life.

I was feeling like,

OK,

I have reached so many,

Let's call goals or destinations or,

You know,

Step that I was going.

And I want to keep going in the same direction,

But I don't want it to be boring or to be a routine or to be like,

OK,

I got it.

I got here and that's it.

No.

So I upgrade it.

So going in the same direction with the things I'm doing,

But just,

You know,

Adding complexity or adding more to the experience or experience.

So expanding or,

You know,

Learning new skills.

So I reach new levels with the things that I'm doing.

So that's what I call upgrade.

And that's that's part of the evolution.

It's like I get new understandings of the things.

So I can,

You know,

I can try new ways of doing and it's so much fun.

Yeah.

That's but the funny thing was like,

I don't know why the age thing had this kind of impact.

I remember I normally don't remember how old I am when you ask me that.

But this time it was like,

Oh,

35.

How can that be?

And I keep having my mother telling me,

You know,

At 35,

I have you know,

I had the children and I was doing this and I was doing that.

And I was like,

You know,

This contrasting like what my mother's life was in my life is it couldn't be more different,

Really.

And but but it's like,

OK,

We're different.

I never wanted the things that she wanted,

Like the family,

For example,

And all that.

I wanted other things.

But this is this is a concept,

The upgrading thing.

I realized that,

You know,

The first time I wanted something of the things I want now,

I was perhaps 10 years old.

And the awareness of a 10 year old is like that of a 10 year old.

So if if I never upgrade,

OK,

I upgrade the knowledge to reach the things.

But I also have to keep upgrading the things that I want to put them on the level of what a 35 year person can achieve,

Because it's more than what a 20 year person can do.

Or,

You know,

Also because you are different,

Because you experience different things,

But also because you grew up.

Hopefully,

I don't know.

Yeah.

So that that's the upgrading.

And this is this is happening like probably with with more impact,

Because,

Of course,

The experiences that I had built me,

You know,

Perhaps I didn't predict certain things would happen,

But they happened.

So they gave me new insights or new ways to see life that maybe take a new approach.

So,

Yeah,

I keep I keep this adjusting my my wants,

My needs and the way I like to do do them.

So that's it,

Basically.

Nice.

I really like this concept.

And yeah,

I guess I can relate to it as well,

But I never thought about thinking about it as an upgrade.

For me,

It's just like I'm very similar to you.

I also get bored very easily.

That's why I mentioned like from before,

Like to other people,

Including my friends or even my father,

It looks like I'm very frivolous or like I have many different interests.

You know,

I'm always moving from like Segong and then to somatics.

And then I want to learn this new thing.

And like I'm never like tied to a specific discipline.

But at the same time,

I think it's just this idea of,

As you said,

When I connect back with what is it actually I really wanted to do and then how can I do it at a level that is even more complex or even more groundbreaking than the level I was doing it before?

And then I just think back to this idea of like when I first started teaching yoga,

All I wanted to do was to teach at a very decent level.

You know,

You just meet the minimum criteria.

I wanted to remember my class plan,

Like what's the sequence,

You know,

And how to say the introduction well,

Because I was teaching,

I remember my first class in the studio in Italian,

In a language that was completely foreign to me.

So I had to memorize the introduction completely in Italian.

And I memorized a couple of different words that were like for the body parts,

Mano for the hand,

You know,

Gamba for the leg,

You know,

Avanti dietro in front and back,

Just so that I could,

You know,

Get the base.

And like,

And that was where I was.

And as you said,

It's kind of like the 10 year old.

Then as I grew,

Of course,

Then I realized that I was getting really,

Really good at it.

And like the response was as good,

But then it didn't satisfy me.

It's something like what you said that I knew I had to upgrade something,

Whether it was the sequence,

The way I thought,

The way I held space and facilitated the class.

And then it moved on even further from the practice of simply teaching within the confines of a 60 minute class.

And I started to think,

How can I,

You know,

Really increase the impact on the people who come for the class beyond the 60 minutes that I have with them,

You know,

And I think probably some of us tuning in might be educators or even creators.

And often maybe you might be thinking,

If I make this thing,

How can I give a deep connection to someone,

Whether it's a piece of art and you make it for someone,

How can you make it such that when they receive it,

They feel this connection.

But at the same time,

Whenever they see that piece of artwork,

They feel a certain feeling or it has a certain utility for them.

And then same for like a yoga classes as well.

Like I was talking to,

I think I was responding to a comment on the forum about one of these yoga teachers who said that she was feeling a little down because some days she says,

You know,

She thinks that her classes went well.

And then other days she would be like,

Oh,

I wish I could have said it differently.

Maybe I wish,

You know,

This thing could have been done differently.

And then I told her that there was one thing that my ex-boss from market research used to tell me,

And she told us in the field of health kind of market research,

And I've been writing reports for our farmer clients for over seven years,

And we will be so stressed around the deadline,

You know,

Trying to like make sure that we meet the deadlines.

And often,

Sometimes we would barely miss it or just make it on time.

And like,

We have to work really late for it.

And she always told us like,

You are dispensable.

Like the report is dispensable.

And in the same way,

Like the yoga class or whatever it is you're doing,

Probably it's not a life or death situation.

And therefore,

There's no need to be like so stressed out about,

You know,

Whether it is perfect or not.

But at the same time,

You know,

When I first heard this piece of advice from her,

I was like so shattered because I felt like,

Ah,

Does it mean I am not important?

But actually what she meant later on,

I realized was that it's not crucial to the point that you have to be harsh on yourself,

That it didn't go perfect.

But at the same time,

Like for me,

This yoga class,

It might only be 2% of the students week.

But for me,

It's like my 100%,

Perhaps,

Especially if I'm a new yoga teacher,

Right?

It means everything to me to teach a wonderful class,

But it's only 2% of that students live.

And there are so many other things.

Maybe she's managing,

You know,

A challenging job,

Has to pick up the kids,

Has to clean the house,

Like so many things.

But at the same time,

In that 2%,

You can change and you can elevate and totally transform a person's life.

You can inspire them.

You can leave a mark that whenever they think back to a certain moment,

They will say years later,

They'll be like,

I remember that class with you.

You did that thing.

And even right now,

Sometimes,

You know,

When I see people on the street and they're like,

Yeah,

I remember that class that we did that day or,

You know,

In the resort,

You know,

You did this during that class.

And I'm still amazed that,

You know,

When we go beyond this idea of like,

Okay,

This is the basic requirement and I meet the basic requirement.

Instead,

We always aim to like,

How can I overperform?

How can I bring this,

The nature of this,

You know,

People call it whatever,

A fitness class,

A yoga class to de-stress.

How can you elevate it to a completely different level that transforms the nature of this experience or this product or this quality?

And I'm often thinking about this because,

Yeah,

I think it is something that's really fascinating to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

You were sharing this,

But I have to say yoga teachers have a huge impact.

I mean,

I will just share a little,

I have so many anecdotes,

But particularly I used to go to yoga where you are teaching now,

But you weren't there yet,

Many years ago.

And,

You know,

This place,

It's quite pricey,

But the whole experience of entering the place is already elevated.

So,

I mean,

The place made me feel good.

I found many other yoga places closer to where I was living and even private classes.

I couldn't even have them for free on the internet or YouTube,

But just going there was elevated.

So the experience of going there,

That's an upgrade.

That's changing.

I mean,

I was at the time,

I have just relocated in Italy.

I was coming from Denmark and I had a lot of things to resolve on a personal level.

And yoga for me,

For several years have been like a grounding experience.

I have learned a lot about myself,

Thanks to yoga and the teachers that I had.

But I haven't done it for several years.

And then I found this place and it was just exactly what I needed.

And then I tried several teachers and it wasn't about what kind of yoga it was.

Yeah,

Of course,

That has a lot to do with your body and what you're looking for.

But the person just telling you what to do and the little things that they do,

They are just upgrading your experience and they are changing your day and perhaps your week.

And you have no idea how much impact you can have on the person just taking your class because you said something or you paid attention to a little something that that person was struggling and then you just silently went there and corrected the posture or said something,

You know,

These little things,

They have a huge impact and you really can make a person's day and that will have a huge impact on the person's life.

So yeah,

Bravo to you for keeping up with this upgrading and trying to deliver more because believe me,

As a user of yoga teachers,

I can tell you how impactful it can be.

The little things that you are doing,

You say,

Yeah,

For you,

It's your everything.

And for the person,

It's probably more than the whatever 2% of their day.

I mean,

If they are taking the time to go there,

It's because they need it.

They may need it in the body,

They may need it in the soul,

They just may need a time to get out of home because they can't have it anymore or they just have nothing else to do when they go there.

And,

You know,

There are many reasons,

But for a lot of people,

It's what they need.

So,

Well,

First of all,

Thank you for being one of a teacher who are taking care of the alumni experience.

But also,

It's,

Yeah,

It's that upgrading.

It's upgrading and the experience is what you feel and what you perceive when you go to a place.

And so it goes,

I think this thing,

This concept of upgrading,

It's when you upgrade something,

You start by trying to upgrade yourself.

I mean,

You took the extra step of memorizing these words in Italian,

Although I'm pretty sure it was not a requirement.

But you make it happen and it's little.

I mean,

I know with my work,

When I make these little upgrades and I make a little tweak of my work,

It is just something that people notice and you just don't know what is the impact that it will have with others.

So when you upgrade yourself personally,

You are absolutely impacting whoever is around you.

I mean,

It doesn't matter if it's through your work or just through going around in the street with a smile on your face,

Because you are upgrading your life,

You're feeling better and you just,

Even indirectly,

You know,

When you walk out there and you have a happy face,

You're making other people happy just for seeing you smile.

So it's so important to upgrade consciously or unconsciously,

Wanting to deliver like on purpose or wanting just to feel better.

It's just so important.

So the thing that I find very interesting about this concept of upgrade is I've always been someone who is very growth driven or like,

Just like you,

I get bored very easily and I'm like looking for like,

Oh,

You know,

Where can I go after this?

You know,

If I continue doing this,

Where will it lead me to?

And if I see it,

There's no growth that I want to do something and change the environment or change my vision,

You know,

So that there is something for me to move towards.

But maybe there are some people who,

For example,

Don't find it so easy to connect with this concept of like upgrade,

Be it upgrading your skills or like your vision,

Like what is your take on this and how might this concept of like upgrade,

You know,

Relate to someone who is struggling to incorporate this or to begin even with this in their lives?

You know,

I'm very particular to look at,

You know,

When we're trying to help people,

It's like it happened to me in the past when I was younger and I had this tendency that I was seeing people like,

Oh,

You're struggling,

Why are you not doing anything?

You know,

Because I have struggled my entire life for many different reasons.

I mean,

On the outside and for who doesn't know me,

Like it's how I'm like,

I'm a person who's like,

Life was fine and perfect.

No,

I just made an effort to make it good.

And I saw a lot of people like struggling for nothing,

Really.

And they just don't see that they have a chance,

But it's an internal process.

I have tried to push so many people to the edge of,

You know,

You can upgrade it and only if you get it and when they get it,

It's not because of the things you tell them,

It's because of the things you do with yourself,

With your life and they see it.

And if they are on,

Let's call it,

I just want to find the right words so nobody gets offended,

But I mean,

I will say I don't care if you somewhat get offended,

But it's like you have to be there.

Like you have to be in an evolution part of your life where you are ready to,

First of all,

Perceive that the other person is doing something different and getting like a different outcome in their struggling life,

Because you will come across people who have serious struggles and problems in life and they turn them around.

And some people are just comfortable with their struggles and they are just happy with being unhappy and that's okay for them.

So I have just learned that when I meet a person,

I will just be the way I am and try not to ever again,

I say again because I have done that,

To go down to their level to try to push them up because that's not possible.

All that happens is that I end up completely screwed up myself and I'm not helping the other person and I'm drowning myself with them and that's not the way.

When I was able to help people in deep,

Deep struggle was like,

Unfortunately,

I had to keep pushing through to be selfish on keep evolving myself and that person,

In that case,

It was a very close person to me,

Very,

Very close.

And that set us apart for many years,

But when that person reached the point of like they couldn't go further down,

Then it made click.

And then all of a sudden,

All what they saw in the past that I was just being a rebel or being naughty or being whatever,

They understood it.

And then they started to copy what I was once doing and started to observe the behaviors and what I was doing and how I was doing.

And that was like,

Oh,

Okay,

Now they needed to go up because they couldn't keep going anywhere else.

But it's a very personal experience and everybody has their time.

And the best I personally decided that I can do is just keep going further.

Just be alert if the help is being asked and be open,

But I can't drag anyone.

And I've learned it the very hard,

Very,

Very hard way.

So this is my lesson and I'm sure other people will have other experiences,

But this is my take on this.

How about you?

I think what you share is very valid.

And I do agree with you that individuals have to reach a certain realization or a turning point.

Like there has to be some kind of trigger or a self internally achieved kind of spark that informs them or propels them to then take action.

And I agree with you.

I reflect also on times where,

For example,

I've been in contact with either my family,

For example,

With regards to certain issues on behavior or like friends with regards to like maybe them feeling stuck in their jobs or maybe their life or some situation with a romantic relationship and then not being able to move forward.

And yeah,

I can relate to what you're saying with regards to the fact that it's advice when you give it,

If like the person is not ready to hear the advice,

It will just not be helpful.

But to some extent,

I also believe that sometimes like it's also the value of having heard this advice many,

Many,

Many,

Many times.

And I am like a true believer.

I agree with you that I don't want to pull people along,

But I truly believe that there is like some power in this idea of repetition.

And maybe it's not up to me,

For example,

To change people,

To inspire,

To transform people's lives.

And definitely not in like one conversation or not even in like one yoga class or even in one month.

But just this idea of like,

If you keep like repeating,

And I think whether that's in a yoga class or as you said,

Right,

Because your way of doing it is like you live your life and your pure existence,

Your way of living becomes like the demonstration of like your underlying values,

Who you are,

What your message is as a person.

And then people see that.

And then when they are ready,

When they've seen not just your message,

But maybe messages from other places,

From other situations,

It's like this multifold of these echoes and layers and layers and layers.

And finally,

At this moment,

You know,

It hits them,

Oh,

Okay,

I am ready.

And I start to see,

And they all coincide.

That is when the pivot happens,

Because I have been on the receiving end myself of being in such a situation,

Experiencing,

Feeling blocked in maybe a relationship or in a career path that I was not sure would be something I wanted to pursue.

And then I couldn't like remove myself from the situation,

Despite hearing,

You know,

Whether it's advice or whether seeing other people taking a different path,

Seeing it the first time or the second time was not enough for me.

And I had to see it many,

Many times for it to like really resonate.

And finally,

Maybe at the 10th time,

The 20th time,

It hit me and then I was ready and I could be propelled into action.

So yeah,

I guess I agree to some extent with what you're saying,

But at the same time,

I also like,

I'm always drawn to if I can,

You know,

If I see something,

This is also the difference.

I think I was watching this video the other day about the difference between coaching and the difference between teaching.

And I'm like kind of somewhere in between.

Coaching is like when you ask questions to people to lead them to find their own conclusions.

So you cannot share the answer with them.

But at the same time,

As someone who is like,

If you've walked the path and you see it so clearly that for them,

The next step is just do this,

You know,

It's just that right next to you.

Why don't you take it?

And I'm so tempted very often in the relationships I have when I'm mentoring people,

I want to tell them the answer.

And then sometimes I do,

But sometimes,

As you said,

It's to my detriment,

Because if I tell them the answer,

Then it's too easy because they don't arrive at the realization themselves.

And sometimes the value is to realize the realization,

Come to the realization yourself.

But I don't know,

I'm somewhere in between.

These days I integrate both approaches in my mentorship or in my approach to,

With my friends,

With my family,

With the teachers that I mentor and the women that I support.

Yeah.

I mean,

I,

But I think it's pretty much the same approach.

Perhaps the intensity is different.

Because what I'm,

You know,

You said advice and what I really found useless is unsolicited advice.

Like,

You know,

You see a person,

Because one thing is like you're working with someone struggling.

And then I think,

Okay,

If that person already reached out to ask for help,

I don't see why not,

You know,

Say it all.

Although I have my best friend,

Many years ago,

I've just decided to stop putting the things on script in front of him.

And it has been more powerful for him to,

When I make these annoying questions,

Not that I'm questioning his life,

It's just like leading him to the realization.

It has become more powerful than,

You know,

Just give him a speech of three hours of all the things you should be doing,

Because he's not gonna do it.

I mean,

I can tell him I can blind guide him there,

But you know what,

If he didn't learn,

He will repeat himself over and I will be on an exponential,

More dramatic experience because it has happened.

And it happens to everybody because we don't learn the lesson.

And so we repeat ourselves.

That's why I find the power of just not try to push,

But push.

Yeah,

I mean,

I like to push when I know the person is on the edge and they are like,

You know,

People that just going parachuting,

Like you have to push them because the people already got into the plane and they already agreed to jump,

But they are just freaked out and then you have to push them.

And then I like to push and then I,

Oh dear,

I push.

Once you are there,

I push and I can be so annoyingly pushy,

But you already took the flight,

You already put your parachute and you are already on the door.

So of course there we push,

But I will never push a person to hop on the plane.

You know what I mean?

It's a big difference.

And I did that when I was younger,

Like from my teens to early twenties.

I don't know why I have this innate self-awareness and seeing things that beyond.

That was very annoying because when you can't see things that most people can't and you don't understand why people are like,

You know,

Going around and around and around.

Why are you doing that?

And I will get so frustrated.

And I,

Of course I was so young and I didn't have even the vocabulary to express myself.

I'm still very bad at finding the right vocabulary.

But I was like,

You know,

It's like you don't have that feeling.

And particularly me,

I don't have too much this special touch with people.

So I was like,

You are going to drown,

You know?

But anyway,

It was just like,

If I really want to touch a person like deeply and inspire change or something,

I realized is that I keep being me and living my values.

And if that person is open,

I'm just,

You know,

They're exposing my beliefs with my actions.

And this was funny because it had an effect over the years.

You know,

It happened many times that I got a couple of emails.

It's funny.

Over the years,

People reaching out to me,

Some of them I have even lost contact for a long period of time,

Just reaching out to say,

You know what,

I want to say thank you because remember that thing you said?

And I have no idea what it was.

Or remember how much you used to talk about doing things in a certain way and that.

And I always paid attention,

But I really couldn't connect it well.

But thanks to that,

I had one saying,

I finally pursued playing the violin so much because you were playing all this music that nobody was playing at that time.

So keeping true to what you want and like.

And another person says,

Like,

You know what,

I finally gave everything up and I took my trip to Hawaii and did this and did that.

And it was amazing.

And I finally,

You know,

And another one was like,

This was the funniest one,

Because one time I got a message,

Like a messenger.

It was like,

No,

If it goes wrong,

It's going to be your fault.

And it wasn't,

You know,

No hello,

No nothing.

It was like,

What the hell?

And it was no,

I had to quit my job because you brainwashed me so much.

It was like,

But I didn't do anything.

Yes,

But I cannot keep seeing you doing this.

And I'm like,

You know,

I was like all these little things.

And it's OK,

It pays because they do it when they are ready.

It may take some people 10 years,

One day.

I don't care,

But it is in their brain somehow.

So now I have this blind trust that doing me,

I'm also doing a favor to the others.

So that's my strategy to help other people.

And if you are openly coming and reaching out,

Like,

Yeah,

You know what?

I want to twist it.

I want to do something.

OK,

Let's work on that.

Let's do it.

Let's approach it together.

Let's work through it.

But otherwise,

It's just like a more passive way of influencing people.

And what a wonderful note to end off today's podcast episode with this idea that,

You know,

Simply by working on our own upgrades,

We are also upgrading the entire ecosystem or the community that we are in.

And it's almost like I like to imagine it's like a ripple that moves outwards.

It starts from inside of you.

Right.

And you said,

You know,

Just by living,

Staying true to yourself,

Being authentic to yourself in all of the things you do,

You say,

The way you live your life,

That ripples outwards in your behavior and people see it and then they feel it also in their being.

And then when that is in conflict with some of the struggles that they have,

Then they start to see what possibility of how differently they might live their lives or how differently they might do things.

You know,

That's really powerful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I keep seeing you and your yoga class and everybody taking something away.

So it's like it's a ripple.

It's going.

That person you touch that morning,

They will go out and be a better person because you upgraded your class somehow.

So yeah,

It's wonderful.

It's wonderful.

Great.

All right.

Thanks so much,

Everyone,

For tuning in to today's episode on Black White No Filters.

Yes.

Thank you very much.

And remember,

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