Equanimity: Giving Beings Space

This practice, which corresponds to the style taught in the Pali textual tradition, is focused on equanimity as wise spaciousness in our relationships with others—open-heartedness that that does not try to control or cling too tightly. By cultivating this quality, we find greater balance in our way of relating to those around us.

Transcript

As we begin this practice of equanimity,

First let's allow our awareness to descend into the body,

Noticing our physical sensations and releasing physical tension.

In our feet and toes,

Our pelvic floor,

Our shoulders,

Our hands and fingers,

And our face,

Relaxing facial muscles,

And allowing our breath to move naturally,

Without any conscious control from our side,

Allowing the body to find its own way of breathing,

Which in this case also becomes an act of contentment and equanimity.

Equanimity towards our experiences,

A balanced attitude.

And so for a short while we keep our awareness on the sensations of breathing.

Tactile waves rushing through our body every time we breathe in,

Every time we breathe out.

And then in this spacious,

Relaxed state,

We generate a good motivation for this practice,

Thinking about our highest spiritual and psychological aspirations,

Our wish to become wiser,

Kinder,

To attain awakening,

To transform our mind,

Whatever it is,

Expanding this motivation so that it also encompasses the benefit of others,

And from this motivation we go into the practice of equanimity itself.

Equanimity is understood in the Pali tradition,

Where it is,

To a large degree,

Connected to spaciousness,

Absence of clinging and expectations.

And to train in this attitude,

Or this quality,

We first think of a being that in our personal classification would be a stranger,

Or someone that we're relatively indifferent towards.

So someone we're not that close to,

That we're not feeling particularly attached to,

While also being free from strong forms of aversion.

Just choosing one person as an example and imagining them in front of us.

This quote-unquote stranger.

We first practice empathy by imagining that this person,

Just like us,

Wants to be happy and doesn't want to suffer.

Just like us,

They have their own vision of happiness and flourishing.

Just like us,

This person deserves happiness.

For a little while we can rest in an experience of tenderness towards this person,

Just appreciating their existence.

And although we maintain this tenderness,

Which can also transform into the attitudes of loving-kindness,

Compassion or empathetic joy,

That doesn't mean we need to try and control this person.

Project our expectations.

All the experiences of this person are the result of their own causes and conditions,

Their unique trail of causes and conditions,

Or,

To use the traditional language of Buddhism,

Their own karma.

And so,

While resting in the awareness of this person,

While holding our attention on this person,

We can address them with mental phrases like,

You are an heir to your own karma.

Or,

You have your own path.

Or,

Very simply,

You have your own causes and conditions.

And although I can open my heart to you,

Although I can wish you happiness,

Although I can wish you freedom from suffering,

Although I can wish you greater joy,

My expectations will not necessarily change your destiny.

My expectations will not necessarily affect your path.

So,

We can be open-hearted,

Loving,

Compassionate,

Joyful,

And yet free from all the attempts to control,

All the attempts to control this person,

Or the way we affect their lives.

So,

For a little while we rest with this balanced attitude.

An attitude that is equally free from aversion,

Clinging attachment,

And indifference.

And then releasing the image of this neutral person,

This quote-unquote stranger,

We can instead bring to mind a person that we don't really like.

Someone who,

For us,

Might appear as an enemy,

Or an object of our aversion.

Imagining this person in front of us,

And looking through this experience of them being unpleasant,

To practice empathy,

To understand that this person also wants to be happy and free from suffering.

They also have their own vision of happiness and flourishing.

And,

Just like we have established with a first person in this meditation,

This person is also on their own unique path.

This person's experiences unfold on the basis of very specific causes and conditions.

This person has their own karma,

Their own sequences of causality.

And so,

We can open our heart.

We can release aversion,

Grasping,

Projections,

Expectations.

We can practice understanding.

And find balance.

A balanced attitude that is equanimity.

Once again,

Addressing this person with mental phrases like,

You are an heir to your own karma,

Or you have your own path,

Or you have your own causes and conditions.

You exist within your own network of causes and conditions that affect your experiences.

And so,

I can wish you well,

But I can't control you.

Just resting in this balanced attitude.

And then thinking of someone who is really close to us.

Someone we really care about.

A relative,

A friend.

Someone we really love and someone we actually are trying to help.

Trying to support them,

To guide them.

And so,

Imagining this person in front of us,

And once again,

Beginning with empathy.

This person wants to be happy and free from suffering.

This person has a personal vision of true flourishing.

And so,

We can be tender with them.

Open-hearted,

Loving,

Compassionate.

Capable of empathetic joy.

And yet,

This person is on their own path.

They have their own karma,

Their own strings of causes and conditions.

Their own threads of causality.

And so,

Looking at this person with a spacious experience of equanimity,

We address them.

You are an heir to your own karma.

Or,

You have your own path.

Or,

You have your own causes and conditions that determine your experiences.

I can provide supportive causes and conditions.

I can be kind and caring.

But I cannot control you.

And so,

Then,

With this balanced attitude,

We open our heart to all the beings in the universe.

We open our heart to all the beings in the universe now.

And we rest in an awareness of all of them wanting to be happy,

Not wanting to suffer.

We rest in the understanding that our heart can be equally open to everyone.

And yet,

Not trying to cling,

Not trying to control.

Essentially knowing that things take time.

And that our perception of how things should be done is very limited.

So we can be kind without grasping.

We can find greater spaciousness in our kindness.

So we allow this understanding to dissolve into an experience of spacious awareness.

No longer focusing on sentient beings.

No longer doing analytical contemplations,

But just resting in spaciousness and clarity.

And then,

Out of that spaciousness and clarity,

We manifest our thoughts of dedication.

Dedicating the effort and the energy of this practice to our highest spiritual and psychological aspirations.

And to the well-being of all who live.

Through me liberating my own mind,

May all beings find greater happiness and joy.

May they all be free from suffering.

We then bring our awareness to our body just to ground ourselves,

Noticing the physical sensations.

And then as we slowly start moving our body again,

We gently return our attention to the environment that we're practicing in.

We conclude the practice and invite the bell.

Reviews

Thank you for this wonderful, open and spacious meditation on equanimity, A great help to accept that all beings are on their own paths of causes and effects and wish to be happy and free from suffering. Namaste 🤓🙏🏻

Namaste 🙏

The teacher’s tone, his matter-of-factness and gentleness, support the meaning of the practice very well. Thank you.

The most difficult quality of mind is that of equanimity, having an open heart but also surrendering control. Such a much needed meditation and practice. Slow, slow

Balance of empathy, nonattachment, recognizing differing causes and conditions leading to different paths, well-wishing yet not controlling. Leading to spacious equanimity for all. Thank you.

This is brilliant. Thank you. This was exactly what I needed today. May all beings find peace and balance. 🙏🏻🌸

Hi Michael, I follow your guided meditation whenever I 🧘‍♀️. Thank you very much.
Clam abiding meditation is the same as equanimity meditation. Is it right? Just different names.

I enjoy teachings like this—Ones that are rooted in straight forward dharma practice without music and new age affectation.

Thank you, Michael, I love your guided meditations

Perfection. I have added this to my bookmarks.
Thankyou

Thank you for this very clear and calm transmission, I have come back to it to practice several times now and feel it is quite effective although with time different challenges arise naturally this track is so well grounded to do the practice with such sincere support. I appreciate your sharing of this practice very much.

Beautiful, concise teaching.
May all beings benefit 🙏💞

One of the best I've come across. Look forward to returning to this practice.

Thank you for your practices Venerable. Thank you for helping me deepen my experience and reveal new facets and reasons for reflection and find inspiration in your words and meanings, which are always very clear, wise and kind. 🙏🏽

Wonderful 🙏

The initial instructions on getting seated in the body are clear, concrete, and effective. This sets the meditator up for experiencing directly. Very well done, start to finish. Thank you.

Wonderful meditation - thank you!