Gratitude Meditation

This is a gratitude meditation based on the practice of loving-kindness. It will help you cultivate a sense of gratitude without forcing your feelings. The practice will start with a brief breath focus and body scan to help you settle and check in with yourself. Then it will guide you through reflections of yourself, and loved ones, and gradually expand the circle of kindness and gratitude out to the broader world.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Claire E.

Parsons,

Lawyer,

Meditation teacher,

Blogger,

And author.

This is a gratitude practice,

But it's a different kind of gratitude practice.

With mindfulness,

A lot of times we're trying to allow ourselves to feel how we feel instead of pushing ourselves to feel a certain way.

But the practice also balances cultivating positive and loving feelings at the same time.

In this practice,

We're going to balance both.

We're going to aim for the goal of gratitude,

But do so in a subtle way.

This is a modified loving kindness practice that allows you to send gratitude out without forcing yourself to feel that way.

So let's get started.

Find a comfortable and stable position.

We aren't worried about perfection here.

Your back doesn't need to be perfectly straight.

Your posture shouldn't be too taut.

You want to stretch your spine out a bit to make a nice clear path for air to travel in your nose,

Down your throat,

Into your lungs,

And back out again.

If you like,

You can allow your eyes to lower or close and start to notice the weight of your body sitting in the seat.

Begin to notice sounds around you and some sense of this space in the area where you are meditating.

Let your breath help you find your posture at first.

Notice it coming in and inflating your lungs,

Allowing your shoulders to rise up.

And then let the air filling your chest make you sit up just a bit taller.

And as you exhale,

Allow yourself to let go and relax.

Feel that sense of emptiness,

Deflation,

Letting go.

We can try that one more time.

Let the air come in your nose and fill up your lungs and raise your shoulders up tall.

Then find the relaxation and ease as the air flows out again.

As you sit here today,

You can always count on the breath to keep you balanced between alert and at ease.

Now let's check in with what's there for you now.

I suppose you came here to find gratitude or feel gratitude,

But it doesn't always work that way to try to make ourselves feel something we don't.

Feelings,

Whatever they are,

Just need to be felt.

So let's feel what's there right now by briefly scanning through the body to explore how you feel.

Starting with your eyes in the brow area,

Notice what you feel there.

Is there tension or fatigue?

Is your brow wrinkled?

Are your eyes straining or still working a little bit too hard?

If so,

See if you can let those areas relax and straighten out.

Next check in with your jaw and neck and shoulders.

What do you sense there?

These are common places where stress tends to reside in our bodies.

Unclench your jaw if you need to.

Let your shoulders fall back and away from your ears.

Next move down into your chest and belly.

Notice what you feel.

Do you feel your heartbeat?

Do you feel rising and falling with your breath?

Are you holding on to any tension?

If you can,

Let it go.

Soften your belly to let the breath come in all the way.

Then check your hips and let them widen and ease all the way into your seat and check for tension in your hands and let them hang effortlessly on your legs.

Now that you've settled a bit,

Just notice if you feel any different.

Any more open?

Any calmer?

Can you reflect on the power that a little bit of time and attention can have?

And once you've done that,

I invite you to bring yourself to mind and specifically call to mind something that you are glad you did for yourself lately.

This could be small or big.

Maybe you took a nice walk or spent an hour reading a favorite book or cooked yourself a meal that you really enjoy.

You don't need to judge whether what you did was big enough.

Just notice the thing you did and the impact it had on you.

And with your attention in the area of your heart,

Notice how that memory feels.

With yourself in mind,

Just tell yourself,

Thank you for taking care of me.

Thank you for putting my needs first or whatever phrase feels right to you.

If that was hard,

It's about to get a little bit easier.

Now pick someone very easy for you to love.

Someone who makes you smile.

Picture this person in your mind.

Consider how this person makes you feel good just by being who they are.

With this person in mind and with attention in the area of your heart,

Send this person gratitude.

You can offer phrases like,

Thank you for making me smile.

Thank you for being who you are.

Or I am grateful that you are in my life.

Or you can wish them any phrase that feels right to you.

Now call to mind someone who has done something for you or taught you something.

This might be a mentor or generous friend or teacher.

Think of the person and think of what they have done for you and consider the impact it has had.

And then with your attention in the area of your heart,

Tell this person thank you.

Thank you for helping me.

Thank you for teaching me.

Thank you for giving me this gift.

Or you can offer any phrase to this person that you are grateful for that expresses your gratitude in a sincere way.

And next I invite you to bring to mind someone who is neutral.

And you may think this is a little strange to feel gratitude to someone you don't really know.

But this is where I find that the practice can be quite magical.

A neutral person is someone that you don't have a strong preference for or aversion to.

It's someone you know and can identify by name or by face,

But not somebody you have a whole lot of connection to.

This could be somebody who you see in the grocery store or at the coffee shop or who delivers your mail.

It can be someone who works in your office but you're not particular friends with.

Reflect on the fact that even though you don't know this person well,

They may have had an impact on your life.

They may have served your community.

They may have performed an important function for you or someone you love.

Realizing that we all have the capacity to affect each other and that gratitude feels great to all of us,

Send this person a wish of gratitude.

Saying something like,

Thank you for helping me.

Thank you for doing your job.

Thank you for serving this important role in our community.

Finally,

I invite you to start to stretch your heart just a little bit wider.

I invite you to bring somebody to mind who is a little bit more difficult for you.

Now being kind to yourself,

This should not be your biggest enemy or the person who has hurt you worst most recently.

Instead I invite you to bring to mind someone who is a little bit challenging for you.

Someone who has annoyed you or you struggled with recently.

If you can though,

Pick someone who has annoyed or confused you,

But who has also offered the opportunity for you to learn a lesson.

Or even who has unintentionally done you a good turn with their conduct.

In doing this practice,

You don't need to forgive or condone the person.

You don't need to decide that their conduct was right after all.

But what we can learn is some gratitude for the reality that sometimes good things happen from bad things.

Or sometimes people we disagree with actually help us learn lessons that are important for our own lives.

Doing this practice isn't really for the other person.

It's for you to get some clarity and some space.

So if you can offer this person any gratitude,

Say thank you for teaching me an important lesson.

Thank you for reminding me to take care of myself first.

Whatever feels authentic to you is right,

But if you struggle and can't force yourself to offer these wishes,

Just offer yourself self-forgiveness and gratitude for even trying this practice.

Finally,

Want to open up this circle of gratitude?

I invite you to bring to mind your inner circle.

Your family,

Your close friends,

Your loved ones,

The work colleagues who you depend on every day.

And just think of what they do for you in your life most days,

And how important their love,

Support,

And companionship is.

And just send them thanks.

You can use whatever phrases are authentic to you.

Then expand this circle out with your attention in the area of your heart.

Think of your broader community,

Your neighborhood,

Your state,

Your country,

And the world and consider how even though we may be remote and different and not see each other every day,

We still affect each other,

And sometimes in remarkably positive ways.

And just express gratitude to the world for being as it is,

Even though it is imperfect and sometimes frustrating.

And you can do this in any phrases that are authentic to you.

I am so grateful that you chose to spend a few minutes with me today.

It is hard work to take care of yourself and learn to accept yourself and your emotions as they are.

But when you do,

You have so much power to offer to those around you.

As we prepare to close,

I invite you to come back into your body,

Take a deep breath in and fill your lungs all the way to the top.

Hold it and feel the sensations of fullness in your chest for just a moment,

And then let go.

As you open your eyes,

I invite you to consider how you might bring this sense of gratitude and connection with you into your actions today.