Thoughts On Meditation In Recovery

In this program, Sheldon Clark discusses broadly the principles of meditation as they relate to recovery, and Anapanasati meditation in particular as a recovery practice of self-examination. The talk is followed by a guided meditation following the first four steps of Anapanasati meditation--mindfulness of breath and body.

Transcript

In ancient China,

A monk once wrote a poem in response to a challenge from his teacher,

And it offers a good deal of insight into the type of meditation that many people practice in recovery.

The poem read,

The mind is like a bright mirror.

At all times we must strive to polish it,

And not let dust collect.

One thing I know is that life's circumstances can be hard,

Especially when we're tangled in addiction.

Over time,

Our choices and actions can settle on to us like a thick dust of sadness,

Resentment,

Hopelessness,

Anger,

Fear.

Like grime on a windowpane,

These things can keep us from seeing our own inherent worth,

And the ways in which we can find it again.

That monk got a lot right.

Practicing renunciation of substances and harmful behaviors brings us strength and energy from which we can engage the practices of Buddhist recovery,

Practices which help us to see ourselves clearly,

To see our habits,

The ways in which we engage in skillful and unskillful behaviors,

The ways in which we sometimes harm ourselves and others.

A large part of Buddhist recovery is found in a regular meditation practice because no matter what,

The dust of our lives will still settle on our minds and hearts,

And we need to not let it build up.

We need to wipe it away,

Over and over,

With the clarity and insight that meditation can bring.

There are three main types of meditation that you might encounter in a Buddhist-oriented recovery meeting or that you might use for yourself in recovery practice.

A guided meditation,

A purposeful meditation,

And some form of silent meditation.

A guided meditation is one in which ideas and practices are suggested to you.

For instance,

You might be encouraged to breathe in a certain way,

To engage in a visualization,

Or to consciously experience sensations.

These meditations are often used for relaxation,

To center ourselves,

And to begin to find an awareness of ourselves,

All of which can be very helpful,

Especially in early recovery when our path forward is not always clear.

The second type of meditation is more of a purpose-driven meditation.

In this type of purposeful meditation,

You generate certain thoughts,

Wishes or qualities,

And you direct them toward yourself and toward others.

This could be during a guided meditation,

Or it might be something you do on your own.

An example,

Of course,

Would be a loving kindness meditation,

Where you engage an expressive process.

May I be happy.

May I be peaceful.

May I live with ease.

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you live with ease.

Purposeful meditations help us develop qualities such as love,

Kindness and forgiveness,

And to express these qualities for ourselves and out into the world.

These are ancient practices,

And very helpful for people in recovery as we emerge from addictive behaviors and begin to re-engage with those around us.

Both guided and purposeful meditation can help us develop mindfulness,

An awareness in which we can be present with what's happening in our bodies,

In our feelings and our minds.

And mindful awareness is key in a practice of Buddhist recovery.

The first of the Four Noble Truths tells us that there is suffering or dis-ease in our lives.

The second Noble Truth is that this ongoing struggle has a cause,

Our own cravings and our aversions,

The things we cling to,

No matter how unhealthy they may be,

The things we push away,

No matter the cost.

The strength of the third Noble Truth is the logic that if our suffering has a cause,

Then we can work to undo that cause.

We can learn to walk back the strength of our cravings and aversions.

We can learn to crave less and stop building our aversions and our attempts to push people and things away.

We can lessen our engagement with that struggle.

A practice of mindfulness,

Developing the capacity to be mindful,

Is vital to this learning,

Vital to this work.

Now,

A Buddhist recovery path can be transformational in deep and important ways,

But for that to happen,

We need to learn how to observe ourselves in the moment,

How to meet the things which hinder us,

Like doubt,

Anger and fear,

With skill.

We need to learn how to keep our minds clear in order for real change to happen.

Which brings me to the third type of meditation,

That which is done in silence.

Some recovery meetings practice quiet meditation,

But many don't,

Because people in meetings are often new to meditation,

And a guided meditation can be more comfortable.

Still,

I believe it's important for people in recovery,

As we continue to explore what can be accomplished through quiet self-reflection,

And how what we find out about ourselves in contemplative meditation can build the strength of our recovery.

The Buddha directly addressed meditation practice in two important sutras.

The first was the Satipatthana Sutra,

Also known as the Four Foundations of Mindfulness.

Another was the Anapanasati Sutra.

In both of these,

The Buddha taught that we can cultivate awareness in any given moment,

That we can see and understand what's happening for us in our body,

Our feelings,

In our mind.

These two sutras are closely related,

And in the end both offer strategies for developing and deepening mindfulness.

The difference really between the two is that the Satipatthana Sutra,

The Four Foundations of Mindfulness,

Leads the meditator through a number of specifically themed meditations.

Whereas Anapanasati,

The Sutra on the Full Awareness of Breathing,

Is simply rooted in mindfulness of the breath,

As we contemplate the body,

Feelings,

Mind,

And objects of mind.

Now there are a number of ways we can practice silent meditation,

Counting the breaths,

Contemplating a more open awareness of the breath,

But my personal feeling is that Anapanasati meditation is a particular benefit to those of us in recovery.

It's logical,

And it's easy to learn,

And importantly,

It helps us to observe and understand the ways in which we perceive people and situations,

Our reactive feelings and our patterns of thought,

All of which are the root structures of our actions.

Actions which can be skillful or unskillful,

Harmful or helpful,

Wise or unwise.

So,

For the next few minutes,

I'd like to speak about some foundational ideas in a practice of Anapanasati meditation,

And then in the last part of the program to guide you in a meditation session.

If what you hear today seems helpful to you,

You can certainly engage in a deeper study and practice of Anapanasati than what I can cover in this one video,

But my hope is to give you an overview and a taste of what this practice is like.

Let's start by talking about the Pali word Anapanasati.

Anapana refers to the literal shape of the breath,

The inhalations and the exhalations.

Sati is a gentle,

Bare awareness,

So Anapanasati literally means breath awareness.

The root of this practice is to be aware of the breath,

The inhalations,

The exhalations.

With Sati,

Bare awareness.

Now,

As much as anything,

The word Sati means memory,

But in terms of meditation,

Remembrance might be a better choice,

Or better still,

Presence.

Sati is a bare,

Receptive attention,

Which opens us to a full engagement in our experience.

Sati is uncomplicated,

Unclouded by our interpretations of what we're experiencing,

Our judgments.

This quality of Sati,

Simple presence in the moment of experience,

Is the heart of what we mean by mindfulness.

Anapanasati practice is one of mindfulness established on an object within the context of mindful breathing.

As we start an Anapanasati meditation,

We establish awareness of the breath,

And then from that base,

We expand our awareness to the body,

Our different feelings and our states of mind.

Mindfulness,

This quality of bare awareness,

Of simple presence,

Is the most important tool in the process of self-understanding through meditation,

And it's mindfulness that Anapanasati meditation develops most strongly.

Mindfulness really is both the tool and the result of Anapanasati practice.

Now,

We have our normal states of awareness,

Of course,

Things happen around us.

We have thoughts,

We have feelings,

We have everyday consciousness.

But in the practice of Anapanasati meditation,

Awareness becomes a fundamental quality of mind,

One in which we approach our thoughts and feelings mindfully,

Simply aware that they're happening,

Learning to be with them,

Without judgment,

But with acceptance.

Just being with whatever comes,

Seeing things with clarity,

Perceptions,

Our reactive feelings,

Our resulting thoughts of clinging and aversion,

And the everyday hindrances of doubt,

Anger,

Restlessness,

Fear.

The opening passage of the Anapanasati sutra does much to set the tone.

I heard these words of the Buddha one time when he was staying in Savatthi.

That night the moon was full.

The Buddha,

The awakened one,

Was sitting in the open air,

And his disciples were gathered around him.

After looking over the assembly,

He began to speak.

Friends,

Our community is pure and good.

Such a community is rare,

And any pilgrim who seeks it,

No matter how far she must travel,

Will find it worthy.

Friends,

The full awareness of breathing,

If developed and practiced continuously,

Will be rewarding and bring great advantage.

And what is the way to develop and practice continuously the method of full awareness of breathing?

It is like this.

The practitioner goes into the forest,

Or to the foot of a tree,

Or to any quiet place.

Sits stably,

Holding his or her body straight,

And practices like this.

Breathing in,

I know I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I know I am breathing out.

Now,

While the word Anapanasati means breath awareness,

Remember,

The practice is one of establishing mindfulness of different things within the context of mindful breathing,

Within a container of the living breath.

In the first part of Anapanasati practice,

We establish an awareness of our breath and body,

Rooting ourselves into mindfulness and finding freshness in the present moment.

In the second part,

We establish awareness of the feeling tones of our mental activity,

Our thought patterns that are conditioned by the events around us,

Our patterned habitual responses to people,

Places,

Things,

Our cravings,

Our longings,

Our aversions,

Reactions that get triggered by circumstance.

We practice not holding on to these and not pushing them away,

But rather to simply observe them.

And when we do,

We discover that our feelings can pass,

That they will pass,

If we allow them to,

Through a practice of non-attachment.

Now,

There are two more sections to Anapanasati practice,

But those I'm going to leave for another day.

Today,

I really want to stay with the fundamentals,

Being with the breath,

And especially this idea of sati,

Bare awareness,

Being present with what's happening with a non-attached spirit of equanimity.

Simple,

Right?

Yes,

And hard,

As anyone who's tried it knows.

Can we breathe with awareness?

Yes,

We can.

Will we get distracted?

Yes,

We will.

Distraction and meditation is part of the game,

And we can't really blame ourselves for it because thinking is what the brain is meant to do.

The question is,

What do we do in the face of distraction?

We can blame ourselves and see it as a failure,

Or we can understand distraction,

A sight,

A sound,

A thought,

As sensations,

Which we can bring into our field of mindful awareness,

Neither clinging to them nor trying to push them away.

Rather than engaging with our own constructed interpretations of our sensations,

With mindful awareness we learn to let sensations rise,

To exist for a time,

And then fall,

Over and over,

And then each time to just come back to our breath,

Over and over.

No failure,

No blame,

Just the work of intention and a willingness to practice.

And over time we cultivate deliberate attention,

Engaging with the sensation of our experiences,

Just the fact that they're happening,

That they are what they are.

Let's hear that again.

We cultivate deliberate attention,

Engaging with the sensation of our experiences,

Just the fact that they're happening,

That they are what they are,

Rather than engaging with our own interpretations of our experience.

It's a fine line between the two,

But a vital line.

In a Dharma talk I heard by Paul Haller,

Who's a priest at the San Francisco Zen Center,

He spoke of the difference between directed attention and receptive attention.

Directed attention is what it sounds like when we bring our attention to an input from our senses,

Including our thoughts,

Which the Buddha considered as input from a sixth sensory organ,

The mind itself.

The difficulty with directed attention though is that we tend to bring things along with it.

Impressions from past events,

Our preconceived ideas,

Our values,

Our judgments,

All of these accompany our directed attention,

And our awareness of sensory experiences is changed by them,

Colored by these things,

Disrupted and changed by them.

With receptive attention we leave all that behind.

When we meet sensory input,

Including thought,

With receptive attention,

Our awareness doesn't extend outward.

Rather,

We invite sensations to reach inward to meet us,

Honest in their nature,

Unadorned,

Unencumbered by our own baggage.

For me,

Meditation is always more clear when I bring receptive attention to the sensation of my experience,

Rather than directed attention and its attempts to examine experience.

With receptive attention we engage things such as hindering emotions and thoughts in a way that allows them to simply show their nature,

Doubt,

Worry.

And the sensation of these things becomes more vital than our effort to interpret them,

Or our propensity to just be swept along by them.

I'm experiencing doubt.

I'm experiencing worry.

When we engage in this way,

We find something being expressed,

And we can stand intuitively with the real nature of what's happening.

And it's that intuitive understanding that can help us most deeply in recovery,

As we emerge from addiction and back into a wise relationship with the world around us.

And as we continue with our recovery and work to build and maintain not just our renunciation of substances and behaviors,

But the sobriety of our minds and hearts.

And we start simply just breathing in and breathing out.

I'd like to take 10 or 15 minutes now to share a guided meditation with you,

Just working with the opening aspects of Anapanasati meditation,

Developing an awareness of breath and body.

If you'd like to learn more about Anapanasati meditation,

Which moves through a sequence of 16 steps,

There will be a short list of books at the end of this video.

So what I'd like you to do is find your comfortable meditation posture,

Whether you're seated or lying down.

If you're seated,

Let your feet be on the floor.

Let your head be level and straight.

You're breathing and your energy unobstructed.

Your eyes can be open,

Gently cast down or closed.

Your hands and your lap resting gently.

I encourage you for a few moments to consider the muscles around your eyes,

Your cheeks.

Let those drop and relax.

Touch base with your jaws.

We often hold so much tension in the jaw and the root of your tongue.

Do good deep breaths.

Some relaxation there.

Consider your shoulders,

Your arms,

Your hands.

Breathe deeply.

Let any tension melt away.

Let yourself begin to root more deeply into your meditation posture.

Let your head be level and straight.

Let your head be level and straight.

Let your head be level and straight.

Allow a sense of mindfulness to begin to develop.

This may start as a spark or it may well up like a wave.

Either way,

Welcome your mindfulness as an old friend.

And as your mindfulness builds,

Becomes continuous,

Bring it to your breath.

Be aware of the inhalation,

The exhalation.

Remember in meditation your breath doesn't have to be any special way.

It doesn't have to be long.

It doesn't have to be short.

It only needs to be your own.

Your breath in this moment.

The sutra reads,

Breathing in,

I know I'm breathing in.

Breathing out,

I know I'm breathing out.

Breathing out,

I know I'm breathing out.

And as you continue to breathe,

Bring a sense of awareness to your diaphragm.

Just above your navel.

Feel it expand as you inhale.

And contract as you exhale.

And the conscious expansion of your diaphragm allows your lungs to fill more deeply.

As you may find your breathing,

Begin to slow.

When your mind begins to wander,

Just be aware of it.

Without blame,

Without concern.

Bring your mindfulness back to your breath.

Make that connection with your diaphragm.

Breathing in,

Breathing out.

Turned over.

And now,

While still keeping an awareness of the breath,

Allow your mindfulness to begin to extend throughout your body.

You might begin by feeling your hands in your lap.

Your legs on the chair,

Your feet on the floor.

Gradually extend your mindfulness through your entire body.

A gentle suffusion of awareness.

The sutra reads,

Breathing in,

I am aware of my whole body.

Breathing out,

I am aware of my whole body.

Breathing in,

I am aware of my whole body.

Breathing out,

I am aware of my whole body.

And as you dwell on a connection of mind,

Breath and body,

Feel a sense of calm in your body,

In your breath,

And in your mind.

The sutra reads,

Breathing in,

I calm my body.

Breathing out,

I calm my body.

Breathing out,

I calm my body.

Breathing out,

I calm my body.

And as you dwell here,

Present with breath,

Present in your body,

Present in this moment,

You may begin to feel a sense of contentment.

It's such a fine thing.

Presence in the moment,

Presence in our lives.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

What we've just done are the first four steps,

Contemplations of the body,

Out of a total of 16 steps in Anapanasati meditation.

These 16 steps are broken up into four groups,

Four tetrads.

Again,

At the close of the video,

I'll put up on the screen a short list of books that you can read for further information about this.

I really appreciate your tuning into this video.

Your presence here,

Your willingness to meditate here with me today demonstrates a desire for clarity,

A desire for deeper engagement and practice and your recovery.

And I encourage you to take heart in that and to be glad.

And I encourage you to meditate.

I guarantee it will help in your recovery.

Thank you so much.

If you have any questions about this,

You can email me directly.

Sheldon Clark at BuddhistRecoveryCircle at gmail.

Com.

Thank you so much.

Reviews

Excellant🙏🏻just what I needed to hear this morning…. I am very grateful🌻👍🏻

So good. The talk and the meditation were so very helpful. Thank you!

Wonderful, beautifully guided and very helpful. Thank you