The Role Of Quiet Meditation In Recovery

This 30 minute talk and guided meditation are excerpted from a Buddhist Recovery Circle workshop called "Deepening Our Practice in Buddhist Recovery," led by Sheldon Clark. The talk introduces ideas about the importance of quiet meditation in recovery. The meditation helps to ground the listener in mindfulness of body and breath as a stage for further exploration of feelings, emotions, and the contents of our minds.

Transcript

The following is an excerpt from the Buddhist Recovery Circle workshop,

Deepening Your Practice in Buddhist Recovery.

The talk and meditation by Sheldon Clark have to do with silent meditation,

Rooting breath and body in mindfulness as a way of setting the stage for a further exploration of feelings,

Emotions,

And the content of our minds.

It's always seemed to me that there are three main types of meditation that we might practice in Buddhist-oriented recovery.

A responsive meditation,

A purposeful meditation,

And quiet meditation.

And I think all of them have value.

A responsive meditation,

You know,

It's like a guided meditation,

You might receive ideas and practices.

For instance,

You might be encouraged to breathe in a certain way,

To engage in a visualization.

Those kinds of meditations are really good for relaxation and to center ourselves,

Which can be really helpful,

Especially in early recovery.

A purposeful meditation,

And I see these a lot in recovery meetings,

When you generate thoughts,

Wishes,

Or qualities and direct them toward yourself or to others.

An example would be a loving kindness meditation,

Where you engage in an expressive process.

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you live with ease.

These kinds of meditations,

These purposeful meditations,

They help us develop qualities like loving kindness,

Like forgiveness.

Very helpful for me as I was in early recovery,

Because I spent a lot of time directing a variety of unskillful feelings and emotions at a variety of people.

And those kinds of meditations,

Loving kindness meditation,

Really helped turn that around.

But then the other is quiet meditation and this is the one I don't always see people practicing in recovery meetings anyway.

Quiet meditation or silent meditation,

Which at its heart is a simple breath practice.

Rooted in the body,

Present with the breath,

Quiet meditation helps us to develop mindfulness and to use it to become aware of our feelings,

Aware of the deeper elements of our mind,

And to see that these come and go.

Quiet meditation is one where we lessen our own self created suffering by observing and renouncing the patterns which put us into suffering and seeking instead to open ourselves to new ways of being.

So I'm wondering,

You know,

What is your experience with quiet meditation?

We're going to do guided meditations but with good long pauses of quiet.

Do you all have experience with quiet meditation or silent meditation?

How does that go for you?

Just so I can get a sense of that.

I have.

This is Catherine.

Hi,

I've tried quiet meditation many times over the years,

It anxiety comes up so strongly for me.

I find it difficult.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I agree with you,

Catherine.

In general,

I'm,

I'm sort of happy to be participating in this.

I find meditation,

Unnatural and disingenuous for me.

Because it's,

It's paying attention to things that are that are just so normal and bringing attention to them.

It makes me uncomfortable.

It,

I just even some of the language that you know to sit in for someone to say lungs nostrils.

Who's who thinks about the who's Why are we talking,

Why did you say the word nostril,

I that's that's bizarre to me.

I'm also a recovering Roman Catholic.

So,

Sorry,

I apologize if there are any Catholics in the room,

But,

But my,

My sense of meditation and prayer,

Or at least what I understand in even,

And even my example has always been sort of the great mystics.

It's,

It's this connection between myself and the end the other,

And the other being whatever the higher power is,

And that seems more natural.

But when I'm focused on something like breath diaphragm,

Like I'm just,

It just,

It just it's,

It seems really it seems strange.

Okay,

Things unnatural.

Well,

You'll hear some of that language today,

And I'm going to try to put it well I'm going to try to put it in some context and try to give it a reason.

Okay,

Thank you.

Yeah,

Just being honest show.

No,

Not at all.

Anybody else want to jump in with something Hi Kathleen glad you're glad you're here.

Hi,

Yeah.

Good.

Mike.

Oh,

Thank you.

I'm relatively new to meditation I was in recovery in June and July,

And learned it there,

Or started practicing it there.

But I enjoy the guide,

And I don't have any experience with some meditation I enjoy the guided meditation.

From my perspective,

I'm not having grown up,

I was born Catholic but never attended church or anything was baptized but so never having been part of that.

I really enjoy the inventory of the body,

You know,

You can focus and concentrate on where you may be having some pain and I have back issues,

Things like that.

But regarding the silent meditation.

I feel a lot of times when there are guided meditations and I was at a recovery down meeting this morning,

Where it was a live.

The facilitator read the guided meditation.

It seems like when they do that,

They rush through it.

Like,

You know,

You know,

Have respect for your body and your mind he's like,

And you start like to recite it in your head and they're on to the next thing already.

So I do enjoy the longer silences in the guided meditation that gives you a chance in my opinion to some more focus on a what the meditator is talking about and also take inventory of yourself.

I'm hearing several,

You know themes here that I think are important.

Catherine was talking about you know that it seems sort of anxiety reducing,

Because we're doing something that our minds are not accustomed to our minds like,

You know,

Mix it up.

And we're like,

Wait a minute.

So our minds will often fight back,

You know,

Against that.

You know Jose kind of what I took from what you had said was that it seems a little.

And forgive me if I misstate this a little without purpose a little too much terminology that doesn't really seem to apply,

And it sounded like what you said you are involved more with the relationship or communion with higher power.

Right.

So,

What I want to say is that I think a lot of the guided meditations we experience why do people talk about you know diaphragm and this sort of thing I think one of the purposes we're doing in meditation in recovery settings is to help build a sense of mindfulness and lead into concentration to learn how to do that.

What doesn't always get discussed is why do we want to do that.

And in my mind,

You know,

We,

You know,

In my mind is the difference between being clean and being sober.

Okay,

I mean I can be clean and some of you heard me say this before I can be clean.

I cannot use,

But that doesn't mean I'm being skillful in the way that I interact with myself it doesn't mean that I'm being wholesome and skillful with ways in which I interact with others.

I have a brother in law who's been clean for 20 years.

He's not particularly skillful in his interactions with others,

But he's not drinking.

That's great.

I think the leap between clean and sober is how we investigate ourselves to see what it is that's going on inside with us that causes us to be unskillful with ourselves to be unskillful with others to not engage in wholesome thoughts wholesome actions wholesome speech,

Right speech,

Right action,

Wise speech,

Wise action,

Whatever you want to call it.

So that's the purpose of it.

And so in my mind,

You know guided meditations are really good for helping people grow a sense of mindfulness,

Learn how to experience that.

And,

But we're not often led into,

Okay,

So what do I do with it?

How do I,

How do I wield that?

Okay,

So that's why I start to talk and where I start to talk about quiet meditation.

I can tell you that the Buddha's instructions for meditation were extremely simple.

Here's what he said,

Breathing in,

I know that I'm breathing in,

Breathing out,

I know that I'm breathing out.

That's it.

Those two lines have come down to us from 2600 years ago,

You know,

And it's exceedingly simple.

It can also be very very difficult.

So to address the point that that Catherine was making in terms of,

You know,

Catherine you were talking about anxiety and I'm not saying that the anxiety you feel is necessarily from your mind running during meditation does it feel like I'm doing something wrong,

But that often does happen.

And the key there is also very simple.

And that is just come back to a recognition of the breath.

Just come back without blame,

Without shame,

Without feeling like I suck at this,

I'm sorry,

I can't do this,

I'm doing it wrong.

You know,

Because we get really hung up on,

I lost my concentration again.

But that's not the point.

The point is not how many times do you lose your concentration.

The point is,

Do you come back?

Do you come back to the present moment?

Do you come back to your breath?

And each time you do,

That's a win,

To use a phrase.

So,

The foundation of quiet meditation is simply the breath,

Just the inhalations and the exhalations just as simple as that and we learned to be present with it.

I'm going to use a Sanskrit word which is sati.

And what it means is,

Bear attention.

Where we're fully present within our experience.

Just simple presence with the breath and when our presence wanders,

To bring it back.

A sense of oneness with the breath,

Becoming,

Not feeling separate from our breath,

Feeling part of our breath,

Part of the moment,

Part and parcel,

And coming back when we wander.

And that takes practice.

And we just do it.

And sometimes it's hard,

Sometimes it's less hard,

And you just sit and do it anyway.

And eventually,

Your awareness builds.

Eventually your presence with breath builds and we can begin to become more aware of our feelings and our thoughts.

This is where quiet meditation for me has really helped in my recovery and my movement into sobriety.

To really understand what are my feelings,

What are my emotions,

Why am I feeling this way,

What am I really feeling?

How is it affecting my body?

How is it playing out in my life?

What's going on here?

Looking at feelings and thoughts but without judging them.

Without trying to interpret them and without trying really even to change them.

But just seeing them.

Just let them reveal themselves.

So it can feel like all this is something that just happens in our head,

In our minds.

Mindful awareness is a cognitive process,

Yes,

But it's also a matter of energetics and partly an act of imagination.

I mean,

That's to say we need to let mindfulness flow between our minds and our bodies.

Gradually establish a simple unified awareness of body and mind.

If only because of the respite it provides from the world around us.

We live in a relatively crazy time,

In a relatively crazy society.

Things are difficult.

Even if we only use awareness of the breath,

Mindfulness of breath and body just to give ourselves some relief,

Some respite.

That's a value.

But we can also come to know the nature of our body.

How things are affecting us.

Are we hunched up?

Are we breathing shallowly and quickly?

We can observe that.

We come to understand and observe our feelings better,

The contents of our minds better.

And as we learn to recognize and trust this awareness,

Then we can deepen that into just a simple act of knowing.

And this is what I was saying a minute ago about you're observing the contents of your mind,

You're observing the contents of your feelings,

Your emotions,

Without judgment,

Without necessarily trying to interpret it at that time,

Without trying to change it.

It's just knowing with the simplicity of bare awareness,

Bare attention.

It's an awareness,

Like I said,

It's unhindered by opinions,

Judgments.

And that knowing,

That awareness,

Its vehicle is quiet meditation.

And it spaces the breath.

And that's the benefit,

Really,

Of the breath.

And its strength to serve as a link between mind and body and guiding both into simple present awareness.

So what I'd like to do is just do a quiet meditation,

A guided meditation,

The purpose of which is just going to be to root ourselves.

I just want to talk about rooting in meditation.

I want to talk about developing mindfulness and starting to really put that to work a little bit.

To start the meditation,

I'm going to read two or three paragraphs from the beginning of the Sutra where the Buddha explains his teachings on meditation.

Breathing in,

I know that I'm breathing out.

In,

Breathing out,

I know that I'm breathing out.

Because I love the words and it sets a nice stage.

I heard these words of the Buddha one time when he was staying in Savatthi,

In the Eastern Park.

The senior monks in the community were diligently instructing monks who were new to the practice.

Some instructing 10,

Some 20,

Some 30,

Some 40.

And in this way,

The monks who were new to the practice gradually made great progress.

That night the moon was full.

And Buddha,

The awakened one,

Was sitting in the open air,

And his disciples were gathered around him.

After looking over the assembly,

He began to speak.

Friends,

Our community is pure and good.

At its heart,

It is without useless and boastful talk,

And therefore it deserves to receive offerings and to be considered field of merit.

Friends,

The full awareness of breathing is the key to meditation.

If developed and practiced continuously,

It will be rewarding and bring great advantages.

And what is the way to develop and practice continuously the method of full awareness of breathing?

It is like this.

The practitioner goes into the forest,

Or to the foot of a tree,

Or to any deserted place,

Sits stably holding his or her body quiet,

And practices like this.

Breathing in,

I know that I'm breathing out.

Breathing out,

I know that I'm breathing out.

I invite you to take several good deep breaths,

As deep as you can.

Just arrive into this moment.

I encourage you to consider the muscles in your face,

Around your eyes,

Your jaw,

The root of your tongue.

Feel what tension might be there.

Just breathe.

And even give yourself a little shake.

Just relax.

If you're seated,

I encourage you to have your feet on the floor,

Your back straight.

If you're lying down,

That's fine.

What the key is,

Is for your breathing to be unobstructed.

So if you need to shift your posture,

Do that now.

Take a few more deep breaths and just feel yourself begin to settle into your meditation posture.

Remember,

In meditation,

Your breath doesn't have to be a special way.

It doesn't have to be short or long.

It doesn't have to be deep.

It just has to be your breath.

That's all.

Your breath in this moment.

See if you can call into being a sense of mindfulness,

Just awareness.

Awareness of the space you're in.

Awareness of contact between your body and where you're sitting.

Awareness of your hands and your lap.

Love the sounds around you.

Consider that all of these are just elements in a deepening field of awareness.

I encourage you to be aware of your abdomen.

And how it moves naturally with your breath.

Expanding as you inhale.

Contracting as you exhale.

For a breath or two,

See if you can accentuate that.

Really become aware of it.

Maybe pulling your belly in just a little bit ever so slightly as you exhale.

Let pass rose afteriley breath.

Doing this allow your awareness to expand beyond your breath and into your body.

Feel a union of breath and body,

Something we take for granted.

What is it to be present with your breath?

With your body?

This place?

This moment.

When your mind wanders,

Treat it gently but directly.

Bring your attention back to the breath.

Your breath is your closest ally,

Your closest friend,

With you in times of trouble and in joy.

Always there,

Waiting for our awareness.

Bring your attention back to the breath.

And as you sit in this way,

You may find yourself experiencing a sense of contentment.

It's a fine thing to be present with the breath,

Present in the moment.

I encourage you to hold yourself open to contentment.

This simple process of centering ourselves in breath,

Body,

Finding contentment there is the stage we set for further exploration of our feelings,

Our emotions,

The content of our mind.

And I say that it's simple,

And it is,

But it's hard.

Because our minds wander,

Because feelings rage,

Emotions can be difficult.

But in this moment,

In this place,

Just come back to the breath.

Breath by breath,

Over and over.

Breath by breath,

Over and over.

Breath by breath,

Over and over.