Talk: How To Fall Asleep Without Even Trying

Do you ever have difficulty sleeping? Have you already tried all the different techniques out there? Have you tried not trying? We will explore 4 simple steps of how to optimise conditions for sleep and how to make sleep more likely.

Transcript

It's a four part technique.

The basic principle of the approach is that falling asleep is something that happens to us and it's not actually something that we can make happen.

I can't make myself fall asleep.

Okay,

Martisi used breathing techniques.

So yeah,

The first part actually is a breathing technique.

So that will be the first of four parts.

So the idea behind this approach is to mimic or copy what happens when we do fall asleep and the idea then would be that then the body would be in the most likely state where it would fall asleep naturally.

So we're not making any effort to fall asleep but we'll do a few things to get the body kind of doing the things,

The body and the mind doing the things it would be doing if it was going to fall asleep and then just waiting to see what happens.

So I've had quite good feedback from the audio recording on the Insight timer.

So I thought it might be worth sharing as a live session as well.

Now obviously it's going to be different times a day for you.

So you might not necessarily be wanting to fall asleep right now but I thought it would be useful to do the techniques,

Put them all together as a meditation,

Say about 15-20 minutes long and it would be an opportunity to practice the techniques.

So the next time you do want to fall asleep then you'll have practiced it and then you can put it into action at that time.

Breathing will be the first part and the breathing technique is really to copy the natural breath that people have when they are asleep and animals as well.

So if you watch a cat or a dog sleeping or somebody else sleeping,

It's a continuous breath is one of the main aspects.

That is that there is no pause between the end of the in-breath and the beginning of the out-breath and again no pause at the end of the out-breath and the beginning of the in-breath.

You might notice when you're doing this that you will be pausing at the end,

I notice it more at the end of the out-breath.

There tends to be a bit of a gap before I start the in-breath.

So it takes some attention to create that pattern of breathing.

The idea is to put the effort in there in the beginning with the breath to keep it continuous or circular is another way of describing it,

Circular breathing.

So that then as we move on to the other elements the breath continues.

So I'll put in little reminders throughout the meditation just to go back to check the breath.

So the first part is that it's continuous,

So no pausing.

The second part is you can do this breath in different contexts but for a sleep breath it's best to be breathing into the bottom part of the lungs so your stomach would be rising and falling with the breath.

So you'd be using your diaphragm more than the ribs.

That's the deeper more relaxing breath.

The idea is you breathe in quite fully,

So quite a big breath but not filling the whole lungs,

Just down in the bottom of the lungs.

And then as soon as it's full to release the breath.

And then it's,

So you're not holding on to the breath,

There's no pause but also it's not a controlled measured out breath but a release.

So it would be,

So I'm exaggerating slightly so you can get a sense of it.

And normally you breathe in and out through the nose but you know you can do it with the mouth.

So it would be,

So the belly would be rising and then as soon as you hit the end of the in-breath.

So it's like a sigh or a relaxing of the body and the breath.

So yeah,

So the whole breath just like that.

Hopefully that makes sense,

It will make more sense as you do it and you'll get a feel for it.

So that's the breath,

So I guess there's three things.

One,

Breathe into the stomach quite,

Quite deeply,

But not too fast because it's a relaxing breath.

And then it's releasing the breath like a sigh.

And the third point is to keep it continuous.

So just notice if there's a pause starts to creep in at either end of the breath.

If you do feel a bit dizzy or a bit weird in any other way then it's just a case for adjusting the breath.

For example you may be pushing the breath out a bit too much.

So just check that you're really relaxing the breath.

That it's a relaxed,

It's not a phew but a huh,

Like a gentle sigh.

Maybe you breathe in a little less deeply for the in-breath as well.

So it can be quite a gentle breath into the stomach.

So your stomach just raises a little bit and then a gentle sigh.

So sort of calm everything down,

Breathe in a little less,

Really relax as you breathe out and don't push the breath out.

But having said that,

It is a different way of breathing.

It is quite a powerful way of breathing.

And so you may well feel different and you may well feel something in the body.

If it's a comfortable sensation and it feels okay then you probably don't need to adjust.

But if you aren't feeling great,

If you're feeling a bit dizzy and it does feel like hyperventilating then adjust.

As I say it's a little difficult to explain exactly the breath but once you get it and feel it and it becomes,

It should feel quite natural after a while.

It won't feel natural to begin with because you're breathing in a very different way to how we normally breathe,

Our daytime breathing.

But once you get there and the body does start to relax it should feel quite natural because it is as close as we can mimicking the breath when we're sleeping.

If you can observe someone sleep then you'll get a better instruction from watching someone than from my description probably.

And you can watch cats and dogs sleep as well.

Okay so that's the breath.

So I'll do this as a guided commentary in a couple of moments but I was useful to give you the overview first so I don't have to do too much explaining during the meditation.

So I'll just quickly go over the three points.

So breathe in with the diaphragm so even into the bottom of the lungs so your stomach raises and then really release the out breath.

It can be through your nose or mouth whichever is most natural and continuous breath.

So not pausing between the inhale and exhale and vice versa.

The second part is the body.

So again,

So what we're doing is we're mimicking,

Copying what the body does when it is asleep.

So you can observe this in others,

In pets or in yourself when you just wake up.

So when I just wake up and I become aware of the body then there's a real heaviness in the body and a real relaxation and a real feeling of the contact between the body and the bed.

I can feel all those points of contact.

It's like a dead weight,

A real sort of heaviness and it's like any bit of tension is drained out of the body.

That's if you've had a good sleep I suppose.

So it's to mimic that.

So when you're lying down is to feel all those points of contact along the back of the body assuming you're lying on your back for this although that's not essential.

And then becoming aware of any tension you're holding in the body and just seeing if you can just feel that releasing and sinking into the bed,

Into the mattress through those points of contact.

So it's like those points of contact with the body are drawing any tension out and leaving the body free of any stress or tension and heavy,

That sort of heavy feeling.

So that's the breath and the body.

And then the third part and I mean if you're lucky by the time you've done that you might already be asleep.

But the third part is the thoughts.

That's okay Paula.

And for the thoughts the idea is to try and copy or mimic the kind of thought you know when you're just drifting into sleep and the thoughts go a bit random and they sort of lose a bit of the logical coherence and control that we have with our normal thoughts.

So,

Again this is quite difficult to explain but as you practice it you'll get a feel of it.

So it's just letting your thoughts be completely free and just letting them tumble out of your mind in as random and free fashion as you can.

So just letting go of any sort of trying to have any sort of coherence or logic or structure in your thoughts.

Just allowing them to pop randomly into your mind.

And that kind of mimics that point where you're just transitioning into sleep and into that dream-like thoughts.

So that's the third part.

So it's breath,

Body,

Thoughts.

And then the final part which is kind of optional because for me I don't really visualise very clearly.

It's not something I find sort of productive in meditation.

But for those that have then the fourth part,

And you can still do this if you don't visualise,

You just do it through thinking,

Sensing,

Feeling in other ways,

Is just to imagine yourself in a different location.

It can be any location but preferably a calming,

Relaxing one.

And again see yourself or feel or think of yourself lying down.

And then repeat the first three steps in this other place that you're imagining or thinking about or remembering.

You can remember a place that you know that's comfortable and relaxing.

So then it becomes recursive.

So you repeat the first three steps and then you get to the fourth step and you imagine yourself in another place.

So then it becomes a cyclic meditation.

So there's no sort of beginning and end point.

So the idea is you never get to a point where you think,

Oh well I've done everything now and I'm still awake so it's not working.

It's just something you can just keep playing with and developing.

It's also useful to do it in a cyclic way because you keep coming back to the breath and reminding yourself about the breathing technique and releasing the tension in the body and checking you're just letting your thoughts go random.

Okay so that's the explanation.

So we'll do it as a practice.

So if you are lying down that's fine.

You can do it and maybe you'll fall asleep,

Maybe not,

Depending on what's happening in your environment and what time of day it is.

But also the idea is you practice these now.

So you've not just heard me say them but you've practiced them yourself.

And then when you are trying to sleep then you can remember.

If you can't remember you can listen to the recorded audio version that's on Insight Timer on my profile and use that as a reminder as well.

Just one other thing about trying to fall asleep.

It's something I've noticed myself is that I can not be asleep,

Not be asleep and then I think,

Oh I'm still not sleeping,

I'm still not sleeping and there's a continuity of experience but in the middle of that I would have been asleep.

I would have lost consciousness,

Waking consciousness for a while.

But as soon as you wake up it's like you go immediately back to what you were thinking just before you went to sleep.

So sometimes you can feel like you haven't slept.

You're absolutely convinced you haven't slept but you have but your consciousness just picks up from the moment just before you went to sleep.

So as you become more aware,

Pay more attention to the process of sleep and falling asleep.

You may notice that.

Have the room cool,

Don't have the room too warm.

Some air if you can.

Comfortable mattress,

Memory foam mattress.

These are all things that will help you sleep.

Don't drink caffeine or alcohol.

Don't eat too late.

Don't exercise too late but do exercise and get lots of fresh air earlier in the day if you can.

So these are things that will help the quality of the sleep.

Don't think this meditation is going to,

I mean it's called falling asleep without trying.

So think I'm not trying to go to sleep here.

I'm just doing this meditation.

So I'm doing a breathing technique.

I'm doing a body awareness relaxing technique.

I'm being aware of my thoughts.

I'm going to visualise a place or remember a place.

But the whole point actually is to not have any intention of trying to make yourself go to sleep.

So that might help actually because the whole reasoning behind this approach is not to try to fall asleep.

So that shouldn't be what you're thinking of.

Right,

Okay so let's have a go.

Okay so yeah I hope maybe this will be useful then Tom.

So if you do try this technique that's the thing to remember is I'm not trying to go to sleep.

Okay so I'm just doing something else.

Alright so I'll do a commentary just going over those similar things.

So the first step is the breath.

So start breathing with your diaphragm and feeling the stomach rise and fall with the breath.

Again nose or mouth whichever is most natural and it can change if you feel like changing.

So make the breath quite a deep breath,

Quite a long breath but quite slow as well.

I mean really sort of a medium but fairly deep breath into the stomach.

You don't want to be exerting yourself too much with the breath because it should be relaxing but we do want to not have a shallow breath.

So we want to breathe deeply and into the bottom of the lungs.

So a nice rise of the stomach if you had your hand on the stomach and you can do this lying down and you can have your hand on your stomach.

Sometimes I find it nice to have a hand on the chest and a hand on the stomach and as I breathe in I feel the one hand on the stomach rise and fall but the top hand on the chest stays still.

So that's a good sort of tactile reminder of the breath.

So that's the first part of the breath is to breathe with the diaphragm so the stomach rises and falls and the out breath is to really release the breath so I'll exaggerate it a little.

So it's like a sigh of phew.

So you're not pushing the breath out but you are completely letting go of the breath,

Not holding onto it at all.

So try that for a few breaths.

It's like letting air out of a balloon or you're turning a switch and the air just leaves the body.

And the third part is to just check there's no pausing between the out breath and the in breath and the in breath and the out breath.

So it's a continuous breath.

So breathing in,

As soon as you fall in the base of your lungs then release.

The out breath will be quite quick,

The in breath will take longer.

The out breath because it's a phew.

So the key is to catch the end of the out breath because it comes quite quickly and to begin the in breath straight away.

So this will take up a lot of your attention to begin with because it will feel a bit strange and a bit different.

So when you're actually doing this to fall asleep,

Really spend enough time on the breath so that you really feel what it's like to breathe in this way and it can become automatic after a while.

So you're not,

After a while when you get to the point where you're not having to think about all the three points but you are continuing with the breath,

That's when you're ready to move on to the next stage.

So it becomes a rhythm.

Okay so when you get to the point where that becomes an automatic breath then your attention can go to the body and really feel the weight of your body.

Feel how the body is being supported by the bed.

So feeling all the points of contact from the heels all the way up to the head.

Really have that thought,

That approach of letting go of the body,

Letting go of the whole weight of the body.

And really letting your body sink into the mattress.

And any tension,

Imagine it just seeping out of the body through those points of contact.

So going down and out of the body into the mattress.

So it's absorbing all your stress,

All your tension.

Drawing it out of the body,

Leaving the body feeling really relaxed and really heavy.

Now this takes time so don't expect your body to suddenly relax but just begin that process.

Remember it's a cyclic process so we will come back to the body so you can just do a little bit each time.

So just a reminder to let go of the muscles,

Let the body become heavy,

Feel the weight of the body and release any tension into the mattress.

And check the breath.

So when you are doing this for the first time and perhaps for many times your breathing will just go back to normal.

Probably quite regularly throughout the meditation.

So every now and again just checking the breath and breathing into the stomach.

And as soon as you are full,

Completely releasing the whole breath in one go.

But not pushing the air out like a sigh.

And as soon as the exhale is finished start that in breath again.

It's quite a quick out breath.

So just get that breath going again.

And when it feels like it can carry on on its own,

Just checking you haven't introduced any tension into the body,

Still feels heavy and supported by the mattress.

Now you can take a lot longer with each stage when you are doing this to actually fall asleep.

But just for the purpose of this experiential practice you can move on to the third element which is the thoughts.

So become aware of your thoughts.

And the idea is to let go of there being any need for any structure,

Logic,

Coherence,

Usefulness in your thoughts.

And just allow the thoughts like they are tumbling through your mind.

So that any thought can come.

So just watch your thoughts and just allow any thought to come.

Not having any particular expectations but maybe noticing,

Maybe not the first or the second time,

Maybe the third time in the cycle as we go through these things.

You may start to notice strange or weird or random thoughts,

Those kind of dreamlike thoughts.

But at first you just notice your thoughts as they are.

But just let them be completely free.

One thought tumbling after the next.

Like a stream of consciousness,

A flow stream of thoughts.

And jet the breath into the stomach.

Release and keep the breath continuous into the stomach.

Release.

Check if you have introduced any tension back into the body.

Just let that dissolve into the mattress.

Allow your thoughts to just flow freely,

Tumbling through the mind one after the other.

And keeping the breath going.

So when you practice this again a couple of times and you feel like you can remember those three stages and you can remind yourself what they are and you feel you have got those pretty much okay.

That is when you can then go into the fourth stage.

Where you imagine,

Visualise or remember a place.

So you don't have to visualise,

It doesn't have to be a visual thing.

It can be a feeling or a memory.

But imagine yourself somewhere that is comfortable and relaxed.

Somewhere where you can be lying down and feasibly fall asleep.

So just pick something,

It really doesn't matter what it is.

It could be on a beach,

It could be in another bed.

You could imagine yourself in your own bed but just as a more idealised version.

More comfortable,

More relaxed,

Quieter,

Calmer.

And then go through the three steps again as you in that place.

So imagine you in that really comfortable place doing the breathing technique.

So continuous breath,

Breathing into the stomach.

Quite a deep breath but not breathing into the ribs as well,

Just into the stomach.

And release the breath like a sigh.

And then imagine any tension just dissolving out of your body.

And when you are doing this in an imagined place or a memory,

A place you remember,

You can exaggerate a little.

So you can maybe visualise or really feel tension or even see it just leaving the body and going into the mattress of your imagined place.

It can be more colourful,

More elaborate or it can just be very prosaic and a replica of what we are doing here.

But something you can experiment with a bit there.

When you feel all the tension has gone from the body,

You check your breath again.

The breath is really the foundation of this exercise,

The most important thing.

So each time you move to another step,

Always check the breath.

And always take time to re-establish that rhythm of the breath.

Eventually it will just continue like that automatically.

But you will need to check in on it,

Re-establish that breath,

Probably many times as you begin.

And then again,

Be aware of the thoughts and imagine,

Now we are in imagining something,

You can imagine you are having dreamlike thoughts or random thoughts.

So it is the same three steps but with a bit of scope to be a bit more playful with it.

I know when you have spent time aware of your thoughts,

If you are still awake at this point when you are doing it,

Just move on to another place,

Imagine another place.

Visualise or remember or feel and start again.

Okay so,

If you want to continue that,

If you have been doing it with me and you have got the breath going,

Then feel free to carry on.

I will end the instruction there and the commentary there.

Reviews

Excellent way to wind down for sleeping 🙏

Excellent! Wonderful concept! Works for this decade long insomniac! Thank you!

Absolutely fantastic. Thank you

I keep falling asleep before I can learn all the steps. 😌

That was perfect. I slept

Very interesting! I'll be sure to try it out. Thank you!