Fake It Until You Make It: The Best Way To Sleep Deeply

A meditation that mimics the breath, body awareness, and thoughts of sleep to bring about a deep feeling of relaxation in mind and body. Practicing this meditation can not only improve the quality of your sleep but may also lead to having lucid dreams. Gentle waves in the background. (Clearer vocal track - March 2021)

Transcript

So the idea of this meditation is to forget about the idea of trying to fall asleep.

The principle being that sleep is something that happens to us.

It's not something that we make happen with our conscious thoughts or an effort of will.

So all we can do really is do our best to create the conditions under which sleep is more likely to happen to us rather than to try and make it happen ourselves.

And so we're going to look at three areas and that is the breath,

The body and the mind,

The thoughts.

I mean there are lots of other things you can do before you're actually ready to go to sleep to make sleep more likely.

That can be referred to as sleep hygiene.

So it's things like obviously having a nice comfortable bed,

Not using your bedroom for other daytime activities,

Having a room nice and cool,

Having some air circulation,

Getting some fresh air and exercise during the day but not exercising too late in the day,

Not eating too late,

Not having alcohol or caffeine a good few hours,

Many hours really before you're ready to sleep and getting bright sunlight early in the day for your body clock,

Not having bright light and screen light for a good few hours before you sleep.

So these are things you can do during the day and before you're ready to sleep and then this meditation will be what you can do when you're actually lying down in bed and ready to sleep.

So we'll be looking at copying things that happen when you are already asleep.

So copying the approximation of the breath that you have when you're deeply asleep,

Copying the feeling of relaxation and detachment from the body when you're asleep,

Copy the kind of thoughts that we would have.

The idea that when we fall asleep and when we're asleep there's no control over our thoughts.

Our thoughts can become quite random,

Chaotic or dreamlike,

Surreal.

So we're going to see if we can copy or mimic some of the things that happen when we are asleep.

And in that way creating the best possible circumstances where we may fall asleep naturally without any effort or expectation.

We'll start with the breath.

If you've ever noticed the breath of someone or a pet when they're asleep,

You're going to do a breath similar to that.

And there's three aspects to that breath.

We'll do one at a time,

Just build up the breath slowly.

And the first step is to breathe with the diaphragm rather than the ribs.

So as you breathe in,

Feeling the stomach rise rather than the chest.

So if we just take a few breaths,

Consciously breathing into the base of the lungs and feeling the stomach rise and fall as you breathe.

And if you feel comfortable making the breath slightly deeper and longer,

Taking in a bit more breath each time.

Just checking you're not breathing into the top of the chest,

But breathing right down into the bottom of the lungs.

And it's the stomach that's rising and falling as you breathe.

Really gently making it a fairly deep and long in-breath,

But not that it feels like you're having to make too much effort.

So just increasing the depth of the breath,

Just over so slightly.

So that's the first part of the breath of sleep.

Breathing with the diaphragm,

Feeling the stomach rise and fall,

Gradually making it a quite nice long deep breath,

But in a gentle relaxed way,

Not forcing the breath in at all.

And the second part is for the out-breath to really let go and release the out-breath.

So it's not a slow controlled out-breath at all,

But a complete release and letting go fully of the breath.

So I'll exaggerate it a little just to give you an idea.

Okay,

So that's a bit of an exaggeration,

Just to get the idea of the complete release of the breath.

But don't force the breath out,

Don't push the breath out,

But completely release and let go of the breath.

And in a relaxed way,

Not a forced way,

So more like a sigh,

A release of the breath.

You can breathe out through the nose or mouth.

I'm breathing out through the mouth,

Really just to demonstrate.

Normally I would breathe in and out through the nose.

So continuing with the same in-breath,

And now adding the released out-breath.

This makes the out-breath quite short,

Because you're not holding onto the breath at all.

So breathe like that for a while,

See how that feels.

Taking a nice deep breath in,

Feeling the stomach rise and completely releasing the out-breath.

So keeping that nice rhythm going with the breath.

Eventually it becomes a natural habitual breath.

It takes some attention and focus to get it going.

The third part of the breath is to see if you can keep the breath nice and flowing and continuous.

Checking there's no pause or break between the in-breath and the out-breath,

And between the out-breath and the in-breath.

Continuous flowing circular breath.

Breathing in,

Feeling the stomach rise,

Completely releasing the breath as soon as the in-breath is complete,

And as soon as the out-breath is complete,

Beginning the next in-breath.

Trying to keep the in-breath and the out-breath relaxed,

Even though you want to catch the end of both the in-breath and the out-breath,

So you can begin the next part of the breath.

Try to do that with gentle light attention,

Not introducing any stress.

It doesn't matter if you do pause a bit,

Just have that aim to keep the breath nice and flowing and continuous.

If you are managing to strike that balance with the out-breath,

Where you're not pushing the breath out,

Also you're not holding onto the breath at all.

If you're getting that complete natural release of the breath,

You'll notice it's a fairly short out-breath.

If you can catch the end of the out-breath and begin the in-breath just at that point,

You may notice that the in-breath also may become a bit quicker than it was.

The body is ready to take in all that air that it's just released.

Also just check you're not restricting the in-breath,

Making it artificially slow and deep.

Allow the in-breath to balance itself with the out-breath.

Now we've got the breath going,

Really focusing on the complete release of the out-breath,

And then the rest of the breath should follow naturally from that.

Just check that your breath is still easy and relaxed,

Not overthinking it,

Putting too much effort into the breath.

As long as you're remembering to breathe the diaphragm rather than the ribs,

Then you're releasing the breath from the out-breath and everything else should follow.

You can just allow the breath to find its own rhythm.

If you do watch someone or a pet sleeping and noticing their breath,

It can be surprising how quick the breath seems.

It is also a relaxed breath.

There's no effort being made.

The depth can vary,

The speed can vary.

The main thing is it's a continuous circular breath without pause,

And there's that complete release of the out-breath.

Continuing with this breath helps the body remember and feel what it's like when it is asleep and helps bring the physiology of the body closer to that state of sleep.

We'll move on to the second part and the body,

See if we can copy,

Mimic how the body feels when it's asleep.

The main thing is for the body to be completely relaxed.

I find the most effective way to do this for preparing the body to be in a similar state to being asleep is not to use the conscious mind to go through the body relaxing this bit and that bit,

As we might do with a body scan or a progressive relaxation.

What I find more useful is to see if I can get a sense of the whole body.

For example,

Feeling the weight of the whole body and releasing the weight of the whole body,

Getting that sense of the heaviness of the body.

The stillness,

The feeling of sinking or melting.

The feeling of releasing the whole body,

Letting go of the whole body,

Letting it become happy,

Allowing it to be completely held and supported.

Maybe remembering that feeling when you wake up after a good night's sleep and the body feels so relaxed,

So heavy,

So drowsy.

Just allowing the body to fall into that experience of drowsiness,

Heaviness,

Completely held and supported.

So relaxed that it will be a real effort to try and move any part of the body.

Let's just check back in with the breath.

Just see if it's still nice and flowing,

Continuous,

Circular,

Without pausing.

Stomach still rising and falling.

And completely releasing the breath with the out-breath.

Noticing how good it feels bringing this breath of sleep together with this feeling of a deeply relaxed,

Heavy body.

How well these two experiences go together.

Let's just check back in with the breath.

The third part,

Becoming aware of the thoughts and allowing what happens to the thoughts when we fall asleep to happen right now.

Letting go of any need to structure the thoughts,

The thoughts to have any logic or sense to them.

Just letting your thoughts tumble through your mind,

Through your awareness,

Giving them complete freedom.

Any type of thought allowed to come into your mind,

That any judgement and any effort to change or make sense of any thought.

Just allowing your thoughts to stream through your mind,

Stream of consciousness.

Just one thought after the next.

Letting go of that subtle effort to produce structure,

Logical thoughts that make sense.

Just allowing anything to come.

So allowing free flowing thoughts to tumble through your mind.

Allowing your whole body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Allowing the breath to flow continuously without pause.

Feeling the stomach rise as you breathe in and feeling the breath release completely in each out-breath.

Allowing the body and the mind to drift into a sleep-like state even though we're still aware and awake and watching.

Releasing the breath,

Releasing the body,

Releasing the thoughts and drifting.

Allowing the body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Allowing the body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Allowing the body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Allowing the body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Allowing your thoughts to flow effortlessly through your mind.

Without structure,

Logic or sense.

Just releasing your thoughts,

Allowing them to be just as they are.

Releasing any tension from the body,

Allowing the body to become so heavy,

Relaxed and drowsy.

Thinking dissolving.

And the natural rhythm of the breath,

A continuous breath.

Bringing you into a deeper and deeper state of relaxation and release.

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Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

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Deeply relaxed.

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Deeply relaxed.

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Deeply relaxed.

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Deeply relaxed.

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Deeply relaxed.

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Deeply relaxed.

Allowing the body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Allowing the body to become heavy,

Drowsy,

Deeply relaxed.

Reviews

For me the ultimate way to fall asleep. I yet have to reach the end, even though my subconscious is probably taking it all in. Wonderful - thank you!

This breathing technique is the only foolproof way for me to fall asleep when I can’t shut my mind off. Thank you!

This is helpful for falling asleep. :)

Best breathing technique that works for me! Thank you for reminding me of this... used to pretend occasionally that I was sleeping when i was little so as not to get in trouble by mimicking the breathing and would end up falling asleep anyway. 😆👍🙏

I fell asleep so easily. Thank You. I can find it so hard to sleep ❤