Lave Om: Moving Through Grief

In this episode, Colleen offers steps to heal and feel through the grief, offering clarity and direction.

When we learn to honor the grief, we allow ourselves to heal and grow from it. When we achieve acceptance of what has become our current reality, not living what we once knew as this phase, life is coming to completion and birthing a new one.

Transcript

Welcome to La Vejom,

Living Change with Colleen St.

Michael's.

I'm an intuitive development expert sharing the tools and information to partner with you as we enter into this new era of inspiration,

Motivation,

Growth,

And healing.

Thank you for joining me on episode one of La Vejom,

Moving Through Grief.

Grief has historically been identified with loss of someone or something that we love.

And today,

As we are in these uncertain times,

We're going to branch off and discuss the different faces that masks a grief and some that we traditionally may not identify as grief but are feeling the discomfort.

So it is not only to grieve in the loss of someone or something that we love,

But it's also a grief of our identity.

It's grieving our financial experiences that we're having.

It's grieving the uncertainty of what's next.

It's anticipating that because things are in a state of change that we are to assume if it's left in the mental space that it's going to automatically be negative.

And we really need to hone in on what is creating this discomfort.

Because if we look around the world,

We can identify the symptoms of what's creating our discomfort.

But it's through acknowledging our emotions that we actually go into the source.

And the sources of what our discomfort is are not because of events that have happened today,

But it has been through our timeline that we haven't allowed ourselves or given ourselves permission to actually feel what we are feeling and feel them through.

And when our emotions get congested and they become clogged and unfelt and undealt with,

We then become confused.

We then become a willing participant of fear because we have lost connection with our instinct.

And our instinct is that intuitive voice within that is always guiding us,

That is always giving us support,

Comfort.

And we can trust this once we identify and release those blocked emotions that are creating a disruption in us having that strong connection with our intuition.

So as we go into grief,

And I've spoken with so many clients over the last few days since the events unfolded of this new normal on a global level,

And if we just take that global level and we bring it down into what's happening in our nation,

And then bring that down and what's happening into our local communities,

And then strip that down and bring it as what is happening with that inner community within yourself?

What is happening with inside you?

So the first step in really honing in and identifying what's surfacing,

It's not the generalized area of,

I'm afraid,

I'm afraid.

And it's not even the why it is that we're afraid,

But it's just learning how to acknowledge that,

What is it I'm feeling?

And not to analyze it and beat it down and judge it because that's when it becomes emotional contamination.

That's when it becomes an emotional flooding because we are not processing and just acknowledging what we feel.

We tend to judge it.

We tend to have shame attached to it.

We tend to have ego attached to it.

And ego is not our amigo.

It's that inner voice that often assaults us.

So it's asking ourselves,

What is it that we need to acknowledge in grief?

And again,

It's not just the loss of a person outside of us,

But it's to acknowledge that we need to grieve the version of us before this,

Because we create these identities around ourselves.

These identities that my job is who I am,

My relationship,

It identifies me,

My roles in life.

And when we are asked to have stillness,

It often creates fear because we are marvelous at distracting ourselves from being with ourselves.

So in this global pause,

In this community pause,

In this personal pause,

It's now time to ask ourselves,

Why am I distracting myself from me?

Who can do or know what's best for me other than me?

So it's time to acknowledge all the feelings,

But now it's time to build healthy relationship with yourself.

And I think you'll find through this whole entire LaVe Own series of podcasts that you'll really get to understand yourself,

Find confidence with yourself,

And really get to enjoy the life that you're participating in and not just be available for life to get through it,

But actually to be a participant in it and have a say in what your day looks like and have a say in what life looks like.

So in this event that we're experiencing,

It really is just a magnitude of emotions that are showing up.

And because we have been so driven by our emotions,

But not listening to our emotions,

Emotions are indicators.

And they're indicating to us what is out of alignment with our personal blueprints.

And just to give you a little history,

Each and every one of us has our own personal life chart,

Our own purpose,

Our own imprint in this world.

And each and every one of us has an intuitive voice that it resides within us.

It's part of our soul.

It's part of our imprint into this world.

And it is in that soul's print and in that imprint that all the coordinates to navigate life for our personal journeys in those charts.

So it's so important that we give permission to ourselves to start developing that inner relationship.

As a society,

We've been conditioned to follow along,

Fit in,

To not make waves,

To not be disruptive,

To not be unliked,

To not be personable.

But that's beautiful.

But it's not a lifelong plan because we have emotions and no emotion is good or bad.

It is how we process them or how we don't process them.

It's feeling it real.

And they describe when we lose a physical being because we are conditioned to develop relationships with one another.

We are conditioned to build lives together,

Learning how to love people,

How to learn to co-create life with people.

But we're not shown how to live without the people we love.

So therefore it creates this uncertainty.

It creates this fear of future events.

It creates this fear of the unknown and these waves of grief that wash over individuals who have experienced loss can confirm to you that it is just that,

It's waves.

It's having a breath that may feel somewhat normal,

But then the next breath could bring on an enormity of emotion.

And if you can understand that this is the pulse of the world today,

And that's why it's critical that we understand and not label it as just fear.

That we don't label these waves as I am depressed,

I have anxiety.

We just don't consistently keep labeling things,

But not actually addressing what we're feeling.

And when we understand that we are all in a state of grief on some level,

Grieving the identity,

Grieving the plans we had prepared prior to these events,

Grieving our finances,

Grieving job loss,

Grieving the loss of lives,

Grieving how we travel,

Grieving how we navigate and keeping our children emotionally stable and safe.

And it is okay.

It is not to be minimized in what you feel.

You're not to tell yourself that this is silly or this isn't legitimate grief because most people walk around living roles in life and they're absent of knowing what it is their soul is guiding them to do.

So that when these roles are released from their worlds,

They then feel as they are helpless,

They're hopeless,

They're without direction,

They're without purpose because they've built their existence around these extensions of our lives.

So when we understand that the grief that you're feeling is very much real and it's very much present and it is not found that we find solutions in worry because worry is an investment in a bankrupt company.

Because if your goal is to have an action plan or have a game plan that is drawing you closer to your successes or your peace or calm,

It's definitely not going to be found when we worry because worry is again an investment in a bankrupt company,

But it is all an assumption of potential things that could happen.

So when it gets into that mental space,

It is never going to create a scenario where it is not catastrophic,

Where it is not horrific because what are we building those stories off?

We're building a story off of a space where we feel trauma,

Where we feel unsettled,

Where we feel grief,

When we feel fear,

When we feel this uncertainty.

And if we're building stories from that space,

Everything moving forward is going to be influenced by how we feel in this moment.

So we can go through these emotions and feel exhausted.

We can feel tired.

We can feel agitated,

Irritated.

We can feel completely defeated and depleted.

Or we can take intentional action and understand,

Nurture,

And give love to the parts of us that are hurting.

And that's what it is when we go into our emotions.

I in the beginning of the year have launched a 21-day emotional cleanse,

Clearing out your emotional closets.

It was an online course and it's completely supporting how we need to learn how did we get so confused?

How did we get so lost?

How did we get so stuck?

Well,

Let's take the situation that's been presented to us and make it something that helps us to thrive.

And when we do this,

We are freeing ourselves from not only what is surfacing now,

But what has been built up,

Unfelt and undealt with for many,

Many years.

And what's happening is that this is a very real situation that can induce and influence stress.

But we've been living so stressed out and identifying everything as creating stress that this has really just kind of come in and knocked people off of their rockers because they were already energetically spent.

They were already physically spent and emotionally tired.

So as this pause comes in,

It is creating a space for us to step inside and clear all that emotional clutter out so that we can be motivated,

Inspired to move forward into the new normal without all of these anchors of grief and uncertainty and fear and have a active relationship in what we're co-creating with intention,

With optimism and with clarity.

And as we understand that there's no blueprint in actually navigating the stages,

But there are a few things that we can identify in how we're feeling.

So if you've been feeling a little nervous inside,

A little unsettled,

A little frustrated,

Short of patience.

So let's write down on a piece of paper or just acknowledge in your thoughts the first thing that comes to your mind.

What is surfacing in your emotions and if it's fear,

If it's grief,

If it's loss.

And in doing any of these exercises,

It's always important to remember that you cannot judge what is coming up because to have an honest conversation with yourself,

To release things that are becoming obstacles,

We actually just have to witness them because there is no space for judgment.

Judgment is a lower vibrational energy that just keeps us harnessed and keeps us down.

And we're looking for freedom,

Emotional freedom.

We're looking for clarity.

So we always want to remember there is no judgment.

So as we're surfing these waves of grief and you're acknowledging what is coming into your thoughts,

Into your body and ask yourself,

What is it that I'm grieving?

And write it down.

Acknowledge it in your thoughts,

Speak it into your phone and memos.

But these are the things that we cannot avoid or ignore anymore.

Symptoms of backed up energy,

Of grief,

Of fear,

Of sadness,

Shame,

They don't go away and they just become louder.

So it is the part of us that needs the most healing.

So when we accept that we are in a new normal and that things are not going to look the way that they did before we were put on the pause.

But that doesn't mean that things moving forward have to be bad.

Every change that occurs happens as a metamorphosis.

It happens for a reason.

It happens instinctually.

Often people say to me,

I don't like change.

I don't like it.

We live it every day.

What we don't like is not having control.

And yet we're a society that wants to take control,

But we're absent of taking control of what we own.

And what we own is how we respond to situations that we are in control of.

How we react to situations,

People that we are in control over.

How we conduct the inner conversations with ourselves.

We are in control of this.

How we proceed in what is best for our physical life.

That is in our power.

That is in our control.

It is not up to us to control any of the moving parts around us.

It is not up to us to control environments,

Control people,

Control situations.

It is a false evidence appearing real.

And that creates fear.

When we believe that that illusion that we believe so truthfully to be true starts to dissolve.

So when we want to take our power back,

It starts first with owning what it is we have control over.

No matter what is happening in our world,

No matter what is happening in your home,

What you can never relinquish to fear is how you respond.

Own what you have the power to own.

And that is how you respond.

And how do we respond peacefully?

We clear out the emotional clutter.

We clear out the baggage.

We clear out the anchors that have been holding us back,

Holding us down.

We clear out that negative speaker within our ego that tells us we are not enough.

That we are not worthy.

That we are not capable.

That we are fill in the blanks.

Whatever stories you have been telling yourself,

You are not what you believe.

If it is not a successful,

Capable,

Responsible person.

Because you are.

In all of us is greatness.

In all of us is untapped potential.

In all of us there is a light that is desiring to come out.

There is a light that is so bright.

But that light does not get brighter by surrendering our power to the emotional world and to the appreciation and to the acceptance of the outer world.

That light grows brighter by you first healing the parts that you have control over.

By honoring the grief that you feel.

Using the versions of you that no longer you need to hold onto.

Those versions of yourself were wonderful participants in the lessons that you needed to grow through at that time.

But as you evolve you release the old versions of yourself.

And that too is something we need to honor during times of transition and change.

And it is to be understood that this blueprint that you hold within you aligns with your fingerprints.

It is just created for your journey here on Earth School.

And when we understand that when we feel triggered or we feel uncertain or we feel nervous that we can always bring ourselves back to the current moment to the current reality to this current time and space.

Being in the moment and being present because when we allow ourselves to come back it quiets that storyteller in our mind.

It quiets the mind chatter.

It softens the moment of fear because then we are now in our truth in this moment.

If you are practicing meditation or you are desiring to practice meditation it all starts with our breath.

And breath brings us back to balance.

Breath brings us into our harmony.

And all of us have that valuable tool to use at any time at any space in any place.

And taking that nice deep breath in and just exhaling it out.

On my website ColleenStMichaels.

Com I have a free download for beginning and learning how to breath.

And this is your starting point to re-centering,

Re-balancing,

Realigning and re-designing life because the grief that we feel in this moment it is very real.

And when you sit with it you may feel as though emotion and tears comes up.

Just let them flow.

We don't need to know why we feel what we do all the time.

But we have to allow it to be acknowledged and honored so that it just comes up and it releases.

It's purging.

We crave to continue to thrive as instinctual beings carrying our breath in this life.

Every living being craves growth.

Every living being craves to evolve.

That's why we're here.

To grow through experiences.

But in this pause it is about the connectivity.

We are not separate.

We are not so different than one another.

We may have different cultures and we may have different beliefs and we may have different homes and the ways we live in our environments.

There's one common thread of connectivity between all of us.

We all have a divine light within us.

And this light is meant to guide us.

But this light also is to create a oneness between all of us.

And what I have gathered in speaking to so many guests is that it is creating an inner awakening.

And in this awakening people are waking up from this sleep-like state to feel that we are so different and so disconnected and so self-absorbed.

And we're starting to just really step into that.

It's safe for me to say yes to me and not be self-absorbed.

It is about self-love.

It is about honoring and accepting and validating where you are in this moment.

Not who you could be.

Not who you should have been.

Not what if.

But meeting yourself in the mirror and accepting you and building a new foundation for growth.

Anything that's not alignment with our source,

With our soul,

With our blueprints is being removed.

It is being released because we cannot build upon anything with a weak foundation.

And as beautiful structures,

What do they always do first?

How's the foundation look?

Doesn't pay to rehabilitate or reconstruct a house if the foundation won't support it.

So as we go into meeting yourself in the mirror,

Ask yourself what is important to me in a foundation?

What is my purpose in my own day?

What roles do I assign myself to that I don't belong to?

What do I say yes to that I don't really want to do?

And what am I not listening to?

What is a gentle guidance inside that is nudging me to take steps into making La Vejom,

Making change?

La Vejom means change in Danish.

Such a beautiful,

Romantic word.

Sounds much different than our English word change.

So live La Vejom.

Live with optimism in this new normal.

Because what is unfolding and what has been presented is an opportunity to reconstruct,

Rebuild and redesign your life.

And when we can honor the past,

Honor the successes that we've had,

Honor what we may interpret as unsuccessful moments,

Honor what was,

Bring yourself back into what is.

In this current moment,

Taking a nice deep breath,

Acceptance does not mean that you like it,

But that you see what it is in its reality.

And when we can have acceptance,

It helps us to heal from the grief.

It helps us to heal from the fear.

It helps us to heal from the uncertainty.

It helps us to thrive forward because each breath is what we're accountable for.

That breath to breath.

Am I okay?

Am I safe?

Daily check-ins and reassigning yourself a new mission.

I choose what?

I choose peace.

I choose calm.

I choose time.

And ask yourself what is it that you are choosing because that's what we have control over,

What you choose.

What is it that you desire?

What is it that you've talked yourself out of in the past?

What is it that you feel passionate about?

As we move into this new normal,

It's not good and it's not bad.

It's going to be different.

But every adventure starts with a curiosity.

And as we start into this next adventure,

Be curious.

Be curious about what it is that you're capable of.

Be curious about what you can achieve.

Be open to trying.

Try everything.

You know what you like and what you do not like because you have allowed yourself to try it.

Do not be afraid of failure.

First attempts in learning.

You will grow from every attempt that you put energy into.

You are 100% capable and it is patience that we must offer ourselves.

It is divine timing that we must allow ourselves to be a participant in.

And it is about allowing yourself freedom to feel outside of your old normal.

And it is about you allowing yourself to vision yourself better than you were before all of this happened.

And that is not just optimism and positive thinking.

That is evidential proof of living in a connection with your intuition.

You never have to feel unsupported.

You never have to feel unguided and you never have to feel confused.

You feel patient in your moments.

You feel confident in your steps.

And you feel free.

Because when you say yes to opportunity,

You are not being assaulted by the ego that is just throwing out there all of the things that you should not do.

And if we could just look back,

Look back on our world,

It has gone through so many changes since its creation.

And could you imagine if every generation that has gone through a great change or a great shift,

If they just stopped moving forward,

If they just surrendered to the fear,

If they just surrendered to the defeat of not being able to control the environment,

Could you imagine what our world would or would not be?

Well,

We would not be grieving today's world if our ancestors stopped building their world.

And we need to tap into that.

Everything that grows has to go through some form of discomfort.

It is how we process the discomfort that matters and how you will perceive life.

And as you are moving into your love,

Eom,

Moving into your change,

Ask yourself,

Why am I so afraid to trust that something in front of me is not good for me?

Where did that come from?

Is that your belief?

Is that your ego?

Is it a lineage passed down from a family of wanting worry to be a form of love?

And ask yourself,

What do I have to lose in mentally investing in me,

In emotionally investing in me,

Physically investing in me?

You have nothing to lose because if you have not been doing those things prior to this,

You were already lost.

So everything moving forward is your gain,

Gaining a relationship with yourself,

Gaining a relationship with your journey,

And then co-creating with life around you.

Allow yourself to be gentle with yourself.

Allow yourself to just breathe,

Recenter,

Reset.

But allow yourself to feel through every emotion that surfaces because as it arises and we just breathe up and we breathe it out,

This too shall pass.

I thank you for listening to La Ve Eom,

Living Change with Colleen St.

Michael's.

You can visit me on the web at www.

Colleensaintmichaels.

Com,

Follow the links below to follow me on my social sites.

Living La Ve Eom,

Living Change.

Reviews

Thank you so much for this wonderful talk, Colleen 🌺 I lost my daughter almost 3 years ago and lost myself for a long time. I’m ready to get my head back in the game and this was so helpful. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼

Beautiful perspective shift. Thank you 🙏