Calling On The Wisdom Of The Mother

How is your relationship with your mother? Have given up on your relationship with your mother? Do you resent her? In this inspirational audio class, Ana Barreto shares seven insights to help you understand the wisdom of your life that was brought forward with your mother. It will open your awareness and soften your heart and begin to heal your relationship with your mother.

Transcript

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the Soul Conversations where I share knowledge and insights that will inspire you to improve the overall quality of your life.

By the end of this talk,

You will have 7 insights and inspiration to help you understand the wisdom of your life that was brought forward with your mother.

Yes,

You heard me right.

You may not have met your birth mother or perhaps your relationship with her is not the best one.

You dread the thought of going home for the holidays or speaking to her when you see her name on the caller ID.

Get ready to transform the relationship you think you have with your mother and improve your life.

My name is Ana Bareto and I'm the author of the books Women,

Rice and Beans,

Self-Dressed and There is a Higher Power Within.

Get a cup of tea,

Pull out your journal and a pen.

It would be beneficial for you to take notes.

That's how many people remember what they learn.

If you need to pause,

Please do so before we begin.

Also,

Silence your cell phone,

Close your email browser and tell yourself to give you 20 minutes.

This is your time.

If you need to improve the relationship you have with your mother,

You are in the right place.

And why would you want to take this time?

Sometimes you have given up on a relationship with your mother.

Maybe she's no longer here and the thought you have about her bring you anger or sadness.

You may feel that you don't have a mother and have written her off after everything she did or didn't do.

She may be in a nursing home or even living downstairs,

But closeness does not define the relationship.

Or yet,

Like many people,

You secretly carry a resentment that only comes out when you feel she pushed your buttons.

If any of these scenarios describe your thoughts about your mother,

Then this talk is meant for you.

Before we continue,

Let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I was born in Rio de Janeiro,

Brazil.

I came to New York for a six months adventure in 1988.

I was 14 years old when I first told my mother that I would be leaving home when I turn 18,

Even though girls don't leave home until they are married.

Within a week of my 18th birthday,

I went to visit a friend and returned after three days only to pick up my things.

I was on my own.

My mother didn't speak to me for about three months and my dad for six.

Two years later,

I needed my dad to sign my passport so I could leave the country.

In Brazil,

You have to be 21 years old to be fully independent.

So I did what any smart young girl would do.

I lied.

I told my dad that the hotel I work for was sending me to New York for a month to improve my English,

And he believed me.

My first few years in New York were hard work.

I work as a housekeeper,

Babysitter,

Dog walker,

And any job that would pay the out-of-state college tuition and the rent of a studio apartment in Manhattan that I share with my unemployed best friend.

I graduated from college,

Got married,

Bought a house,

Had children,

Earned an MBA,

Achieved my goals,

And secretly resented my mother,

But I didn't know.

When it surfaced,

It was in 2015 when I was driving to work early morning.

I pulled over and began to write the main points for a book I was going to write.

The lessons every mother should teach their daughters,

But my mother didn't tell me.

I wanted to help women learn those lessons and not waste as much time as I did trying to figure out them on my own.

I booked a vacation,

Arranged for my children to visit family,

And three days before leaving,

My mother was hit by a car crossing the street in Rio and needed multiple surgeries.

I canceled my writing vacation,

And I flew home to help my mother.

During the 10 days I stayed,

I helped nurse her after surgery and close her house.

She was not able to live alone anymore.

Each day,

I finally learned the lessons she had been showing me all along when I was so involved in the drama of my story and didn't pay attention.

That's how my first book came about.

My lessons were my lessons.

Your lessons are your lessons.

Today I share 7 insights for you to reflect.

Drop any baggage you may be carrying about your mother.

My wish for you is that you open your heart and begin to learn the lessons you both agree to teach each other.

So let's begin.

Tip 1 Know that you chose your mother before you were born.

You selected the time,

The family,

The town,

And the mother to raise you.

You pulled the mothering style out of her just for you.

That's why mothers treat children differently.

If you were not her favorite,

You didn't want to be.

And you decided with the infinite wisdom available to every soul.

I know what you are thinking.

Why would anyone in their right mind pick her?

Now ask yourself,

Why did you choose her?

Why?

From billions of people in the world,

Why did you select her?

I know that you believe that you don't know,

But you do.

Consider all options.

You can pause and answer the question.

Insight number 2 Children are the best teachers for mothers.

Yes,

You were her teacher.

Here you are expecting her to teach you,

But she is the student.

Have you noticed that the next generation tends to do better than the previous ones?

Are you teaching her a hard lesson in this life?

Did you need her to show commitment,

Sacrifice,

Or dedication?

Some people learn about companionship by experiencing loneliness,

And others learn wealth by not having money.

Do you get my point?

Like any school,

The school of life has dropouts too.

Was she a dropout?

Was she the difficult student that needed detention?

Some people don't go back to school at all.

Others return much later when they feel they are mature and ready to dedicate the time it requires.

What type of student was she?

Did she need a special teacher?

Were you able to be that for her?

Take the time to understand this insight.

Insight number 3 The bond between mother and child is unbreakable.

The bond of unconditional love exists eternally between the mother and her children,

Even if the mother abandons the child.

The relationship starts in conception.

It is the strongest within a few days after the child is born.

Many women report finding this bond the moment of birth,

Others within a few days.

The mother-child connection is there even for those who for some reason can connect to it.

This divine connection is what mothers report as knowing.

It's responsible for mothers receiving the intuition that she is needed before she gets the call.

The mother-child bond begins to thin out when the child reaches puberty,

But it never breaks.

It seems to fade,

But with a tiny,

Tiny drop of intention,

They re-establish the connection.

Insight number 4 Mothers are humans and have free will like everyone else.

Motherhood is limited by the mother's capacity to act based on their level of consciousness that she has at the time.

Somehow the world has decided to hold mothers with a different judgment level.

It's easy to have an opinion about someone else's action.

No one knows what a mother lived through,

Her upbringing,

Or her level of awareness.

Once a woman becomes a mother,

She has to learn the menu of conduct that no one taught in school and no one has agreed on what is the right curriculum to be a good mother.

At best,

She learned from her mother by watching what she did who learned from her mother.

It's convenient to point the finger.

It's easy to resent.

But today,

I ask you to do the hard thing.

To forgive.

I ask you that you give your mother the benefit of the doubt.

That you consider that perhaps she was broken.

We don't step on a dog with a broken leg,

Do we?

We may not take the dog home,

But we feel compassion and offer assistance.

If you could follow back on her trajectory life,

You would find a time where a lack of awareness impaired her free will.

Forgiving can be difficult but not impossible.

Give her the benefit of the doubt.

Step number 5.

The universe has many ideas for love.

What if God wanted to allow another woman the opportunity to care for and be loved by you?

What if your relationship with your mother was the best way for you to connect with the soul of a mother?

I mean the mother you were raised by or the mother you will become or choose to marry?

Knowing what we don't want helps us know what we want.

Let me repeat this so you don't miss it.

When we know what we don't like,

We learn more about what we like.

Clarity is a blessing because we take away the guess in work.

What if your complicated relationship with your mother or lack of it led you to pause today and decide what type of mother you plan to be?

Maybe there is a lesson in love for you by releasing any resentment with understanding.

Unconditional love is there even if you don't see it in physical form.

Can you see the lesson in love?

It's there somewhere.

You can pause and feel the lesson.

Insight number 6 Everyone becomes their own mother at times When I left my husband and called home to tell my mother that I was getting a divorce,

My mother said,

I had a worse marriage than yours and I put up with,

Why can't you?

It was true.

She had an abusive marriage splashed with domestic violence and she tolerated.

After that call,

I fed my anger and resentment when I realized that I had learned to endure domestic violence from my mother.

Unlike my mother,

I had a high paying job,

Good credit,

The rights for my home,

And only two children instead of six.

Out there she suggested that I stick with an abusive husband for the sake of marriage.

I got swallowed by my drama and all I could see was that I was not going to teach my children to tolerate violence.

I didn't know then,

But her words pushed me to move ahead.

At that time,

I thought that I was protecting my children,

But I was protecting myself.

I had to be my own mother and nurture me back to life instead of having my mother do it for me.

It's not a bad thing.

After all,

Because children learn by watching adults,

It was the right thing to do.

So the lesson here is,

Take what you learned from what your mother did or didn't do and use it for yourself.

It's so healing.

Insight number seven.

Our expectations of motherhood are only fantasies we learn in the stories we read in childhood and watched in movies.

At one time or another,

It seems that our friends have better mothers than we did,

But I learned that we all have the perfect mothers for what we need to grow as individuals.

Everyone does,

No exceptions.

Ultimately,

It's always up to us.

When we find that we have a difficult mother,

We just have a harder lesson to learn and teach.

People with strong bonds and challenging relationships are called to accept others just how they are,

Especially if they are our mothers,

Our first home and our precious,

Genuine,

Physical and emotional connection.

Take the plunge.

Once we learn to accept our own mother,

Everyone else will be a piece of cake.

I hope you have enough insights to release your mother from the emotions of the past.

If not for her,

Do it for you.

We feel their feelings from the moment of conception.

We are eternally influenced by our mothers,

Even if we don't grow up with them.

Their essence lives in our energy field in addition to our DNA.

Mothers are our soul companion's life after life.

Don't be afraid to release her.

It may feel that you have carried this burden for too many years,

And if you release her now,

What would you carry instead?

So how about joy and freedom?

How about caring hope?

It will be a lighter load.

It's okay to lose the reasons for your resentment.

So today I'm here to tell you,

You have the right mother.

You always did.

Now embrace who she is and allow your old judgments to phase over time.

She is who she is or was.

As you do,

You'll notice that her moods,

Distance,

Or memories no longer influence you.

It's like you can see her from your soul's perspective,

Infinite,

Pure,

And connected to you.

Let her wisdom be the catalyst for freedom,

Acceptance,

And unconditional love.

It takes a strong character and a deep soul commitment to be a volcano of pain in a child's life when you are her mother.

It's not an easy assignment.

At least recognize the work of the soul.

Again,

Release the resentment.

It will not take long if you work through these seven insights.

Listen to them again.

Read your notes.

Answer the questions.

If you found this class,

It's because you are ready to begin.

Have a great journey.

If you feel this has given you value,

Please share it with your friends who complain about their mothers.

This is Ana Bareto signing off.

Reviews

Interesting. A new angle to think about. My mother died 30 years ago. I loved her despite the fact that she and my father were hard on us and I earned one cuddle in my whole life. My mother had no ability to show any of us love. Nor did her’s. The war generations.
However I loved her still and was broken when she finally died. Later I realised that I couldn’t drag up one happy memory although I just did then oddly enough. That was when they visited the project where I worked after University.
Anyway I am going to try harder to remember and find the good memories. They drank too much. Especially my mother. She was bored and trapped. They argued.
Meanwhile I have my elder daughter who doesn’t seem to accept me! So sad. And she has a baby now too. It’s heartbreaking and I want to fix it somehow but Amber is angry and has no good memories of her childhood. Just like me. I got a few things wrong so it seems. I didn’t know. I gave my girls freedom (like the thing I never had) and miscalculated all the rest. I was on my own after the first 12 years. My girls both got firsts at university and I thought I’d done well until at 24 my elder said what an awful mother I had been! Bottom fell out of my world. 16 years later and now a grandma and the rift is worse. We are all a bit autistic in our various ways, and bright too.
I am working on this. I have another daughter who occasionally challenges and then I feel hopeless but we patch it and accept it cos we meditate. Being a mother is a thankless task? True or not? Our purpose is to protect our children and nurture in every way. I tried but got it wrong. Tough one. Sad one. I love my girls and they probably both love me but one is full of anger in her scientific head and I do hope she can forgive the stuff that she is so cross and upset about, and accept her disorganised mother who has managed through thick and thin to accept the world and be quite happy and honoured to have come this far.
Life eh! Meditation has been the most useful tool in my life and will always be. I’m grateful for that. 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
Thank you

Wonderfully insightful!
I’d love to share this with my daughter but she’d come back at me with daggers!
Great information regardless. Very true as well. My mom is gone but she was a strong yet loving person. I learned a great deal from her. Thank you for this talk.
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Thank you Ana. I do keep her in my love. She’s 37, recently married to a wonderful man. She was up here recently (she lives 3 hours away in the Bay Area and I’m in the mountains of California) and told my best friend of 41 years that she doesn’t like the way she talks to me but can’t help herself. I understand what she’s saying, but it hurts me a lot. Maybe I need to do more Ho’oponopono for her. Thank you for your sweet reply.
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Wow. Tears. Hope. Thank you 🙏Where can I find more of your work/ your books?

Thank you so much. Yes indeed I did need to hear this for more than one reason. Namaste 🙏

Beautiful as always.. truly what I needed. Thank you Ana!

Very insightful, thank you. Love and blessings 💖 x

Omgeee .... This 68 yr old would like nothing better than to release the resentment toward my living 92 yr old mother. I think this may be the only thing that will bring me peace about her and our non existent relationship. Never a mother daughter bond but always what I could do for her and exponentially now since she and my Dad still live at home. My resentment seems to grow and grow.

This is a talk I should listen to everyday to help me get past the pain and hurt so I can release the resentment toward her. Thank you for sharing your insights for those of us struggling with this topic. 💜