Developing Loving-Kindness

A lovingkindness (metta) meditation from "Guided Meditations For Calmness, Awareness, and Love." This is very different in some ways from how I teach lovingkindness meditation now, but a lot of people still seem to find it helpful. Also, please check out my other meditations on Insight Timer.

Transcript

In this period of practice we're going to do all five stages of the metta-bhavana practice,

The development of loving-kindness.

So you can begin by settling into your meditation posture,

Looking for a sense of natural,

Comfortable uprightness and openness in your body,

Accompanied by a sense of ease and comfort and relaxation.

And as you're sitting there,

Feeling the contact with the floor,

Experiencing your body,

The weight of your body going straight down into the earth,

The sensations in your hands and fingers,

Your body moving as you breathe in and out.

And as you become more aware of your body,

You can have a growing sense of relaxation and comfort as your muscles relax and let go.

Your shoulders fall with every out-breath,

Your face and brow are relaxing,

All of the muscles becoming smooth.

And sometimes,

As you're noticing your body relaxing,

You'll find that some part of your body may relax,

Quite unexpectedly,

As you let go of some tension that you weren't even aware was present.

Letting your awareness wander around your body,

Gathering up all the different sensations into a whole.

And as you become aware of your whole body,

Continue to allow the sense of relaxation and ease to deepen with every out-breath.

Then begin to take your awareness into your heart,

Becoming aware of whatever feelings and emotions are present.

Those feelings and emotions might be very subtle,

Or they might have a very definite and strong presence.

Perhaps they're negative emotions,

Perhaps they're positive,

And perhaps you're not entirely sure.

In a way,

It doesn't really matter what's there.

You don't even have to be able to put a name on what you find there.

Whatever is there is where you're starting from.

There's only one place you can start from,

And that's where you are.

So look for a sense of contentment to be starting from where you are,

Whatever emotional state that might be.

Sometimes you might have a sense that your emotions occupy a volume of space in or around your body.

Sometimes they may seem to have a texture or color.

So just notice those impressions.

So with a sense of contentment to start from where you are,

Aware that you can patiently work with whatever you're experiencing,

Patiently and confidently working with it,

Accepting that your emotions will change at their own rate.

Just as seeds,

Watered and cared for in the soil,

Will respond to nourishment and will change and grow at their own rate,

Accepting that change is happening in time in response to this practice.

And remaining aware of how you are feeling,

You can begin the first stage of the metta bhavana practice by wishing yourself well,

Cultivating an attitude of appreciation and care for yourself.

And you can do this simply by dropping the words,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering,

Slowly and with care into your heart,

Letting the effects of those words fall gently into your emotions.

You might imagine your emotions as being like a still forest pool.

And as you drop the thoughts,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering into your heart.

It's as if you're dropping a flower into the still waters,

Being aware of the effects of the flower falling into the water,

Being aware of the ripples flowing outwards.

It may also help to think of a time when you felt particularly well and happy.

You can call to mind some time from the past when you had a sense of well-being and contentment.

And you can experience that once more,

Intensifying the feeling of confidence and ease by dropping in the words,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering.

So for the next few minutes,

Patiently and kindly,

With care and love,

Wish yourself well.

And if you ever become aware that your mind has wandered,

Then bring yourself kindly and patiently back to your body,

To your heart,

And continue to wish yourself well.

Great.

Thank you.

And then moving into the second stage of the practice,

You can call to mind a good friend,

Someone that you have a close connection with,

Someone whose well-being is important to you.

And you can wish your friend well by repeating,

May you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering,

Saying those words with meaning and conviction.

And notice what changes are taking place in your emotions in response to those words.

Those changes may be subtle or quite noticeable.

They may not be the changes you expect.

Just notice what happens and continue to notice what happens to your emotions as you wish your friend well.

And then moving into the third stage of the practice,

You can put your friend to one side for now and call to mind a neutral person,

Someone that you don't have any strong feelings towards.

You neither particularly like them nor do you have any particular aversion towards them.

It might be someone that you see quite regularly,

Perhaps in a shop,

In your workplace or on the street.

Call this person to mind and begin to wish him or her well,

Saying may you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering.

And although you know little or nothing about this person's life,

You share something very profound and powerful in common with them.

The fact that they,

Like you,

Wish to find happiness,

That they wish to be free from suffering.

So the more you're aware of them being like you in this respect,

The more you can wish him or her well in a heartfelt way.

And moving into the fourth stage,

You can put the neutral person to one side and call to mind someone you know and have difficulties with,

Someone with whom you experience conflict or a sense of strain.

When you call this person to mind,

You may have a sense of discomfort.

So just notice that gut response,

That feeling.

And at the same time,

Wish him or her well from your heart.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

Like you,

This person wants to be happy and to be free from suffering.

And as you move into the fifth and final stage of the practice,

Call to mind all four people.

Yourself,

Your friend,

The neutral person,

And the difficult person.

And wish all four people well.

May we be well.

May we be happy.

May we be free from suffering.

And you can imagine all four people being well and happy and being in harmony.

You might notice a tendency to discriminate,

To not want to give your matter equally to all four people.

But try to overcome that tendency and spread your well-wishing evenly.

And then you can begin to spread your well-wishing in wider and wider circles.

Wishing that everyone who's around you be well and happy.

People in the building that you're in,

Around the building,

In the neighborhood.

Being well to everyone in your town and in the area around your town.

Perhaps having a sense of your meta,

Your well-wishing radiating outwards.

Perhaps like a warm golden radiance from your heart.

Wishing outwards in all directions.

May all beings be well.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be free from suffering.

Embracing the sphere of your well-wishing.

Embracing all sentient beings on the planet.

All beings capable of experiencing suffering or joy.

Imagining them well and happy.

In harmony.

Living in peace.

Enjoying the sense of radiating loving kindness from your own heart outwards in all directions.

And then you can begin to let go of the effort to wish others well.

And just relax comfortably back into an awareness of yourself.

And as you're sitting there,

You can with comfort and security be aware of your body.

Continuing to relax.

You can be aware of your mind,

Appreciating whatever calmness and awareness you've developed.

And you can appreciate your emotions,

Noticing whatever emotional changes have taken place.

And you can appreciate the effort that you've been making.

Very few people consciously spend time cultivating positive emotions.

So what you've been doing is very rare and precious.

Worthy of appreciation.

Also just sit for a few moments.

Enjoying the fruits of the practice.

Appreciating and enjoying your experience.

And then gradually becoming more aware of the world around you.

The sounds.

The sense of space surrounding you.

The touch of the air on your skin.

The light through your eyelids.

And as you shift your awareness more into your senses,

You can begin to move your body slowly and with care.

And open your eyes when you're ready in order to take your awareness and meta more fully into the outside world.

Reviews

Lovely meditation, and guided in a way that I am practiced and comfortable with. Thank you and may you ever be well 🙏🪷

A very beautiful, peaceful, uplifting gift. I recently found your meditations and truly appreciate your gift.

Something wonderful happened after the first time I did this meditation I went to church, and at the point in the Catholic mass, when everybody has to say peace be with you and smile at many of the people in church, I looked around, said peace, be with you to some of the people, and I felt for the first time the wonderful spirituality of every single person. Every time I did this before this meditation, I had always always said to myself they’re not as good as I am, because they don’t meditate. But this time, I felt the love in the room. I know that this was because of this meditation, thank you so much!

Lovely voice and well structured meditation. Thank you 😊

That was a beautiful way to begin my day. Thank you 🙏

Lovely voice. I like how Bodhipaksa frames things, particularly accepting difficicult emotions and starting from where we are! 🪷🙏🏻

I fell into a dreamlike state. Will need to do this over. 😂

Thank you for a very peaceful and balanced practice. I am very grateful. It helped move my thoughts from worry and agitation to a more positive, calm space. 🙏

Nice reflective meditation, very healing and calming, thank you!

Very calm, and not cheesy (for the lack of a better word) at all like some other metta meditations on this app. Nothing wrong with a bit of cheesiness but I usually prefer this. Thank you.

Thank you! Calming and beautifully grounding! With gratitude to for your teaching and guidance to a peaceful space within. Tracy

Beautiful soothing voice, pace and genuine presence. Thank you.

One of my favorite lovingkindness meditations. Makes me feel better every time. Thank you 🤍

I don’t generally do guided meditations, however, this was recommended to me by someone I deeply trust and who knows me very well. It was wonderful and incredibly helpful in what in what is a definitely season of emotional darkness for me. Thank you 🙏🏾

Thank you so much 🙏🏼 great Metta, time slipped away, the work was being done ☸️ grateful Namaste 🙏🏼

Heart softening and warmth in the whole body. Just what I needed

Thank you for sweet voice.
I'm always thankful to you and really enjoying your meditation.

That was so wonderful! Thank you for sharing this profoundly transformational practice 💓🌄

Really like the flowers into a pond metaphor, the evocation several times of the felt sense of emotion, and the appreciation at the end.

This meditation holds true wisdom for our relationships, with self and others.