Here,
Now,
In this moment.
Breathe in deeply.
Release that breath.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
Have you ever had labels put on you?
Of course you have.
You get labeled in so many ways.
Your familial relationships,
Your jobs,
Your ways of being.
Some of these labels might fit perfectly.
Some you might wear with pride.
Some might fit for a while,
But then change.
And then of course there are those labels that feel like a cocklebur under your saddle,
Endlessly rubbing you the wrong way.
Inhale.
Exhale.
We label things because generally we as humans love balance in our minds.
We want to be at ease,
To feel comfortable.
Thus,
Our brains are very good at creating boxes that help us figure out people and situations.
These boxes are called schemata,
And we use them to size up what is going on in the world around us.
If this doesn't make sense,
Think about a situation you walked into and you had no idea what was going on.
For many of us,
That causes a lot of anxiety and discomfort because we don't have a box telling us what's expected,
What to do.
We counter that with how easily we know what to do when we walk into a fast food restaurant.
We already have a box in place that tells us,
Walk up to the counter,
Order what you want,
Step back and let them give you your food on a tray,
Carry that tray to a booth,
Eat.
You don't even have to think about what to do.
So there is often little to no anxiety or uncertainty in that situation.
Labeling people works the same way.
Our brains like to know whom we are dealing with,
So we put people in boxes.
We do this by naming their roles,
Boss,
Child,
Sibling,
Best friend,
And by naming attributes.
Oh,
This is my wild child.
Or she is so smart,
She has read every book in the library.
But surprisingly,
When we get labeled,
The other person acts toward us in ways that support that label.
Inhale,
Exhale.
I've been thinking about labels recently because I,
Probably like you,
Have had a great many labels applied to me.
Some I like,
Some I don't.
What's interesting then is to consider these labels,
To explore them,
Perhaps especially the ones that annoy us.
And it's helpful to consider these labels from a grounded and curious place because whether we think they fit or not,
They have much to teach us.
So let's try it.
Inhale,
Exhale.
Choose a label that rubs you the wrong way.
Is it based on a relationship,
An attribute?
Is it one you've chosen for yourself or one that has been placed on you?
Now what does that label imply?
Here you are looking at what is called the valence of the label.
Is it positive,
Negative,
Somewhere in between?
Or is it a positive one that really might be a dig,
Like overachiever?
Inhale,
Exhale.
Why might someone apply that label to you?
Or why might you have applied that label?
In what ways do you act to support it?
In what ways is this label accurate?
In what ways is it inaccurate?
What have the effects of this label been on you and others?
This one really deserves some time and attention.
What have the benefits of this label been for you?
What have been the costs?
What have the benefits of this label been for others?
What have been the costs?
Inhale,
Exhale.
When you name a label and explore it,
You can decide more consciously.
Is this a label you want to live into?
Or is it one you've outgrown and want to walk away from?
Inhale,
Exhale.
One caveat here,
I want to point out that there are rules that we take on,
Labels that we live into,
That can come with a very high cost.
Being a caregiver is one.
Sometimes our commitment to care for another comes at a significant cost to our own life.
This kind of label can also benefit from a quiet examination,
As can those labels that we love to live into.
What is it about those labels that bring us joy?
Whatever the label is,
The most important thing,
You are bigger than any one label that has ever been applied to,
Or all of the labels.
As Walt Whitman says,
You contain a multitude.
You contain this unstoppable kernel of light that is always,
Always there.
You contain this amazing essence that outshines any box that others may try and put you into.
You are amazing,
Ridiculously amazing.
Inhale,
Exhale.
Live,
Shine.
Namaste.
