Howdy.
Now that you're here and settling,
Breathe in.
Feel those ribs grow wide as you inhale and exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
I was recently doing a kickboxing workout and the instructor said,
Let's self-construct.
My rhythm faltered and I almost tipped over.
I was that surprised by the idea.
We always hear the opposite.
What is the Mission Impossible franchise without that saying,
This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Why are we so familiar with self-destruct?
Why is it such a part of our culture?
Probably because we've either seen it or experienced it.
It's a part of our culture because self-destruction is high drama,
Something that we humans love.
Watching a train wreck of a person,
We can't wait to see what's happening next.
Now,
If we happen to be the train wreck,
Self-destruction isn't quite as compelling.
To be serious,
It can be strangling,
Terrifying,
Damaging.
Our own self-destruction might happen in an instant that changes everything or it might take years,
A slow annihilation of who we are and have been until there's nothing left but dust and bones.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Destruction is easy.
You take a structure or something,
You rip it apart and knock it down.
Many home and garden TV shows have demo day where the folks revel in swinging a sledgehammer and wham bam thank you ma'am,
The kitchen is in rubble in less than an hour.
Inhale.
Exhale.
While it's frighteningly easy to destroy,
To construct can be exhausting.
Think about that kitchen and all it takes to build a kitchen.
You have to have a foundation.
Make sure it's level and then build everything from the ground up from there.
That can take days,
Months,
A really long time to build and because of that it takes motivation and it takes patience.
We are the same.
It's easier for us to destroy ourselves and others and while a building might require a sledgehammer or explosives with another human being,
It might be a fist,
An accident,
A diagnosis,
An addiction,
But it might just as easily be a word.
One that is said or unsaid.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Destruction is easy.
To construct is difficult and depending on where you are in your life you might not have the energy to self-construct.
You might be too weary,
Too bone-dry inside.
I've been there.
When everything inside is crushed,
When it's hard to take the next breath,
Let alone imagine what you might build with your life.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Sometimes to self-construct the order of the day is to breathe,
To stay,
To let the dust settle and if you are in that space right now I wish you courage and grit.
Inhale.
Exhale.
One of the sayings that helped me get through the worst of it was,
Right now it's like this.
Breathe.
The sun will set.
The sun will rise.
Breathe.
If you have started to put some distance between you and whatever it is that imploded,
Now is the time to think about that structure part of construct.
What is going to hold you up and not feeble wobble or cause any more destruction?
What is good for you?
What is solid,
Helpful,
Sturdy?
What can you rely on to help you get through?
Think about this like a house.
It's tempting to start moving in furniture and hanging up pictures,
But the task really is to make sure those bare bones are in place that hold everything else together.
Go slow.
Measure out the strength and steadiness of each piece that you add to your life and add on with intention and mindfulness.
Self-construct.
As we do that,
It's important not to get overwhelmed by the whole project,
How long it might take,
The snags you might run into.
Concentrate on what is the next best step.
That's it.
What's the next best step?
Do that.
Then decide again.
Now what is the next best step?
Do that.
And so on.
Sadly,
It's doubtful that we have entire crews that can come and build ourselves quickly.
And damn it,
There is no time-lapse video.
We have to do self-construct in real time.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Let's get to work.
Namaste.
