I was walking in the woods the other day and I chose to wear a big floppy hat to keep the damn deer flies away.
It worked,
Thank God,
But wearing the hat also meant I couldn't see the woods because the brim kept flopping down and cutting off my vision.
How often does this happen?
We address one problem only to create another.
We take an aspirin to prevent blood clots or heart attacks or strokes and our bowels go wonky.
We take a new job to get more pay and now we have to fight traffic every day.
Not being able to see the trees on my walk might not sound like that big a deal.
Couldn't I just go for a walk on a different day or wait until fall when the deer flies had disappeared?
No,
Because I'm about to go and live in Japan for four months.
I can't wait to go and I'm a small-town girl through and through and I often frequent those treasured woods to be alone and to center.
It's one of the best ways I know to handle my stress and overwhelm.
So as I prepare to go I keep wondering what's life gonna be like for me in one of the most populated cities in the world?
This last walk in the green wild woods was supposed to be a going-away present to my uncertain spirit.
Instead my flopsy mopsy hat meant I could only see the dusty path beneath my feet.
It wasn't how I expected or wanted this walk to go.
And isn't that also often the case?
Since life is an unending stream of causes and effects we might like some of the facts but not others.
But what happens is we choose.
Things happen and we have to choose again and again.
That can mean life feels like a hamster wheel of choosing and readjusting,
Choosing and readjusting.
It's no wonder so many people I know are suffering from decision fatigue.
And if that's you it's okay.
It's okay to be overwhelmed and exhausted.
Where it gets dicey is when we act in ways that exacerbate the imbalance.
So we might be exhausted and overwhelmed and still choose to do more.
To push more.
Because our society values productivity and achievement over presence and wholeness.
This could also mean choosing to put everyone else's needs before your own because that's what we've been told good and loving people do.
But just for this moment,
Please take a breath and center.
Please be on your own side.
Listen to your body and spirit.
If you are tired,
Choose rest.
If you are overwhelmed,
Choose to trust the messages of your body and spirit and make choices that ground you and nourish you.
And for the sake of all that is holy,
Please quash all those yeah buts.
Those little demons that love to sow all kinds of troubles and lies.
Be on your own side.
Trust yourself.
Center.
Breathe.
And while a part of me didn't like the narrow vision my hat was giving me,
It did remind me of one of my favorite mantras.
Be where your feet are.
Because when life feels too big,
Too overwhelming,
One way to handle it is to get small.
To focus on the near at hand.
The next best step.
For me a next best step is to trust.
Trust that I will find incredible ways to center and settle when I am in Japan.
I can't wait to see what quiet temple I might stumble upon or what still koi pond I might find in a tiny and meticulously manicured park.
What matters is the choosing.
Choosing to seek out the things that center the self.
Choosing to trust the fragile voice in the silence.
The one that promises you are okay.
You are whole and enough just as you are.
That quiet and insistent voice that begs you to love the hell out of your fear self wherever you are.
And from there to live light and shine.
