Grab Your Shovel

Welcome to this moment, this opportunity to center and to pull the attention away from the drama of the day and turn it toward the quiet of your breath. Welcome to a hit of hope, and fair warning: this is another salty one. I’ve been doing these mini-meditations for a year now, and while I love that they seem to speak to people, to be honest, I started doing them to save myself.

Transcript

Welcome.

Welcome to this moment,

This opportunity to center.

This opportunity to pull the attention away from the drama of the day and turn it toward the quiet of your breath.

Let's inhale.

Exhale.

One more time,

Inhale and release.

Welcome to a hit of hope.

And fair warning,

This is another salty one.

I've been doing these mini meditations for a year now,

And while I love that they seem to speak to people,

To be honest,

I started doing them to save myself.

I was struggling with huge life events that threatened to pull me under.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I felt buried under pain and shame and grief and hurt and fear and anger.

So I wrote these words,

Recording them in my closet as an attempt to dig my way out of the shittiest shit.

I needed to hear a voice,

My voice telling me,

You are going to be okay.

Maybe you've been buried by life events,

Too.

And maybe you've discovered,

As I did,

The truth of what I came up with as a tagline for a hit of hope.

Life can feel like so much shit and so little shovel.

Inhale.

Exhale.

There are times when life grabs you by the back of the neck and carries you not to a warm and cozy nest,

But to a big and steaming pile of shit outside a barn.

Life then chains you there and hands you the tiniest shovel.

The work before you is to decide what you will do with the shit and the shovel.

You can stand there and be overwhelmed and rightly so.

You can sink to your knees and give up.

Tempting.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Or,

I faced a literal mountain of shit a few weeks ago.

A dear friend owns a farm and has horses.

She cleaned out their stalls every day all winter and the pile of their hay nuggets grew to gargantuan proportions.

A mouse would have had quite the ride if it tried to ski down it.

Now,

That pile could have stayed there to stink and rot in the sun.

But my friend and I each grabbed a shovel and dug in,

Moving it by chunk and hunk into wheelbarrows and from there spreading it all around the big garden we are doing together.

She and I took the shit.

We worked together and made the shit work for us.

Because as much as I hate to say it and as much as you might hate to hear me say it,

It is the shit that helps us grow.

Fuck,

I hate that fact.

But it is the shit that helps us grow.

Inhale.

Exhale.

We live.

We breathe.

We eat.

Shit happens.

And some days your shovel might feel no bigger than a spoon.

But dig in.

Get in there and start doing the work.

It sucks rocks.

No doubt about it.

But I'm here to tell you,

You can make a dent in it.

You can change the shape of it.

More than that,

You,

Yes you,

Can decide what the shit does.

It can bury you.

It can overwhelm you.

It can threaten to defeat you.

Or it can feed your fucking growth toward the fucking light.

So grab your shovel and dig in.

Namaste.

Reviews

Love the analogy! Years ago I had a very similar experience, it's all I could picture 🤪
Thanks for the ht of hope. Namaste 💖✨️

Great HoH and since I'm working on a compost pile for my garden.....this has double meaning😉🌺

Absofukinlutely Betsy!! Keep that shit up and keep spreading your light 💩 😜 Namaste 🙏💕

I saw the title and photo and since I only have time for one HoH this morning, I decided this would be it. I smiled at hearing about the overwintered pile of barn manure - brought back fond childhood memories. ☺️

I think, though, my head is either too busy or in too elevated of aspace at the moment, as the words were spot-on but for some reason did not get into my gut like the vast majority of your others do.

This might be due to the fact that today we are taking the first steps towards making our newly-formed LLC actively live and functional. It could be because of the studying I am doing in regards to that, my regular coursework, and research. It could be a result of being nearly done with post-op visits (only the pin left in now) from the surgery I had last month (surgery in the time of COVID-19 is no joke), or the two-part repeat lumbar nerve ablation that was finished yesterday. Or more likely, I was drawn to this photo and practice description because I am in planning stages of a new type of garden for me. We just closed on additional acreage adjacent to our existing property, so with over 25 acres to play with and breathing room to finish getting our future horse boarding plans further along, I looked at my own limitations and discovered a few new (to me) ways of more compact, higher yield, organic farming that is ideal for folks with medical concerns as I have. Plus, I found a way to make some money off the side while supplying some core food staples for my family and returning to my enjoyment of gardening.

The bit about the compost, though, did have me move into thoughtful mode. Tangential, as you know my musings often are, but related. We have one horse and a flock of backyard free-range chickens. We have manure piles, of course, though the old gal (retired from our kid's years of showing and competing, but still ridden for pleasure from time to time) doesn't produce as much as multiple horses would, of course.

Because of our country location, and my childhood spending summers on my geandparents' large farm, doing chores, etc, I naturally turned my thoughts back to repurposing, recycling, and so on. My grandparents didn't have trash pick up out in SW MN farmland, on those dirt roads. Everything found a new use, or ended up on the burn barrel. If it didn't meet one of those criteria, and couldn't be passed down or re-gifted, it wasn't purchased. The rare items that were in that category that did get purchased were usually parts to repair the farm equipment or cars, and as my uncle is a mechanic, he would take those items to his shop downtown to dispose of.

With that in mind, I revisited thoughts of helping Grandpa in his garden as a kid, while I listened to this. I thought about eating the warm sunlit peas direct off the vine while he showed my little eyes and hands how to gently rotate a tomato to look for even ripening without causing it to detach from the vine if not yet ripe. I remembered his direction later on that as I drove the tractor around and we shoveled pasture manure and to ks into the front loader, some if the dryer manure was to be deposited next to the garden for crumbling and spreading and composting. And I thought about my plan to do composting in a way I can physically manage. I can't do the heavy turning required if a bit compost like. But I can do vermicomposting. And the output can sell for a lot of money. With a small soil footprint for my vertical garden in planning, I won't need a large worm bin. The no-dig garden format too will be helpful for me.

But here's the thing. And this us what really stuck with me as I listened to this HoH. In my excitement over planning my new garden (and I am not ruling out a certain amount of hydroponic gardening in a year or two, depending on my ability to manage some of the outdoor sunlight plants), I started reading up on the materials needed for a good start for a compost pike, whether hot or vermiculite. What I realized with a start is that had this been a few years ago, I would have felt discouraged because I would have to buy some of the ingredients in large enough quantities to form even a starter bin. But now?

I have a ready source of compatible horse manure. I have more eggs than I can handle (I give some away most weeks to co-workers, and we only have 9 chickens), so having good quality eggshells to crush is not an issue. We have a burn pile for the trimming we do of the trees and bushes around our property, so I have wood ash. I don't have newspaper delivery but the local paper drops off complimentary editions once a month or so that I can colle t, and my workplace collects them to wrap our products in. If I need newspaper, I can get them from a co-worker, which would be a fair trade for the eggs she gets from me. Kitchen scraps, oddly enough, are the most challenging, but as I have determined to find a way to work cooking at least a time or two a week into my schedule, and we only use organic, non-GMO items due to my medical conditions, that will work. In a pinch, bags of frozen veggies work too and even better sometimes, as they are softer after thawing and easier for the red wrigglers to eat. So my only actual outlay for my compost heap, one I can physically sustain and manage on my own, will be the red wrigglers and a bin, which my husband said he can build from his scrap wood in his shop, or I can but a commercial product with more bells and whistles to make it even easier.

Waste is, therefore, what you make it out to be. Where once I saw things to discard and throw away, I now see as exciting potential items to add to an overall larger project which will be sustaining and nourish my entire family from both good and potential income perspectives, plus nourish my need to be productive, time for myself, and be one with nature, talking to my plants as my father, a Master Gardener up there in MN, has done for years. He purchased the vacant lot across the street from their home and turned it into a huge garden, plus built a grow room in part of the basement (I think he's trying hydroponics next) and added a small greenhouse addition to the basement. When he comes to visit, he collects seeds from down here and challenges himself to grow them there. He sent me photos two years ago if him very proudly hding the cotton he grew from seeds he collected here along the side of the road.

Compost is made of waste, but it is a rich source of nutrients. To do the most good, though, it must be tended to and not simply allowed to pike up. As I (or someone else) shovels the manure, and I direct it to where it will be allowed to nature into dry, crumbly, compost-ready clumps (which do not smell, thank goodness), I am brought back around to this HoH once more. When life hands us a pike of crap, it's up to us to decide what to do with it. We can let it pike up and stink and attract flies and pests and whatnot, or we can turn it into something that will enrich our land, our soil, and ultimately our bodies in a way. All the while removing it from being that festering pile of stinky turds, so a win-win for all, with minimal effort. That's how I look at things, generally. I consider what I bring into my life and what benefit it will have in multiple forms. It requires more upfront time and consideration, but it is worth it as I extremely slowly work towards a more minimalistic mindset and living environment. What I do purchase is multi-purpose, of good quality for the most part, and is necessary but also makes me smile for its own reasons. My life philosophy is "practical whimsy" and it has served me well lo these many years. (I use it as a tagline in my website which will eventually convert to a business site but for now is personal research for my family.)

Yes, life generates waste. It's how you view and manage that waste that will move you forward or hold you still or moving backwards. To paraphrase, when I look at the pike of horse manure, our cold burn out with ashes, and the eggshells sitting on the paper towel after using two dozen to prep two weeks of breakfasts, I don't see trash. I see gold in them there leavings. Good for my worm composting bun, that is, and ultimately a free, beautifully rich fertilizer and soul for me organic garden, so once again I can nourish body and soul and decrease the carbon footprint of runs to the grocery store and purchasing inflated priced packages of raw veggies and fruits. My heart sings and my eyes sparkle at the thought of that end result.

In other words, I am more grateful than ever before for my waste. I have a life that allows it to be generated, and one that allows me to utilize it. The same princple holds true in any environment, it any situation. It's not about making up reasons to be grateful. It's recognizing the inherent worth in all things and being genuinely grateful that it exists in your life, for whatever reason.

I initially had this as a four star because of the first listen lack of gut response. As so often happens with me though, I upgraded it to 5 stars as I contemplated your words more deeply and my introspection elevated my thoughts and spirits to different levels. Well done - even with the expletives. 😁

Go find a way to enjoy your 💩🤎😎. I certainly am. 🥰

Thank for continuing to share these Hits if Hope with us. I see you and the light within you. Be well, Betsy. 🤲🏻❤️🤲🏻

ha ha ha ha ha. OMG. Just enjoy the smell.
Yep! Sometimes I only had gloves.
You give me hope. Thank you Betsy.

It is the most motivational speech I've heard about getting up and start working on the pile of $*it lying there for some time and getting bigger. It's the best choice actually turn it into learning and growing. Thank you Betsy!

I think this is your saltiest ever, and accurate af, lol. Thank you for starting this, for yourself and for us. I hope you continue for many years to come. Some teachers are all sunshine and roses, but you are honest enough to say, you can't have roses without a fair load of manure!

So motivating and inspiring, thank you so much. I'm going to send this to my mum, who really needs to hear this. Blessings to you 🥄

No no no no... you are totally right, I don’t want to hear this. While listening, my good ol’ monkey brain scrambled for examples of times I grew with absolutely no shit at all. And there are some. The times I grew from shit, might I have learned the same things via a more pleasant means? Sometimes. Probably. Right now my mind is totally balking from looking to see what’s there, just refusing to go that way. So I’ll try again later... in a decade or two. Another issue in many parts of my life is that my tiny spoon can’t possibly make a difference for some mountain of a project, so why bother even trying? On another note: I hope you never feel guilty or ashamed or selfish about starting these meditations just for yourself. Self-care is something most of us don’t do often enough, and it’s never shameful. I admire that you not only didn’t fall into traps that might have made your life worse after the initial gratification, but that you came up with such a creative and effective solution that helps you.

Wishing I had a friend like you here who would help me dig!! 🙏Thank you Betsy, I needed this salty encouragement!🙏❤️😊

Ain’t that some sh!t. Thanks.

Compost it!!! 💜