Choose Wisely

My father was a doctor in a small town. At one point in his career, he was on call every other night and every other weekend. The pace was exhausting. And, to set the stage for what would happen sometimes at our dinner table, you also need to know that my father was very logical and rational.

This is a time to center. Let your breath enter your body as you inhale. Let it all go as you exhale. Inhale and feel your ribcage expand. Exhale and feel the release. This one is a wee bit salty.

Transcript

This is a time to center.

Let your breath enter your body as you inhale.

Let it all go as you exhale.

Inhale and feel your ribcage expand.

Exhale and feel the release.

Welcome to a hit of hope.

And this one's a wee bit salty.

For this to make sense,

You need to know my father was a small town doctor.

And at one point in his career,

He was on call every other night and every other weekend.

The pace was exhausting.

Something else you need to know is that my father was very logical and very rational.

So,

Exhausted by the demands of his life,

My father would sometimes come home and express frustration with his patients.

Forty years ago,

I remember him saying in exasperation,

This patient came in and he said he had a headache.

He told me it felt like he had an axe in his head.

Now how in the world would he know what an axe in the head feels like?

Inhale.

Exhale.

My father's frustration with work was understandable.

We all have those days.

But that isn't what that made that conversation that happened 40 years ago stick in my mind.

Why I remember it to this day is because I was amazed at what my father's brain couldn't do.

I guess because of how his brain was wired,

He couldn't work out the fact that this patient was trying to express the inexpressible.

After all,

Who can really describe pain?

So my father's patient did what many have done for millennia.

Turned to simile.

It felt like an axe in the head.

As many of you know,

I teach English and similes and metaphors are two of the major concepts that writers use.

And they do so for several reasons.

First,

Metaphors and similes create vivid,

Memorable images.

For instance,

I tend to have a great deal of energy.

So I once described myself by saying,

I am a hummingbird driving a Ferrari after slamming six espressos.

Am I a hummingbird?

No.

But do you know what hummingbird energy is like?

Probably.

So you can get a more vivid sense of my energy level.

And as compared to as if I just said,

I have a great deal of energy.

Now,

Another thing that metaphors can do is to create a strong sense of connection between a character and their setting.

For instance,

A while back,

I recorded a hit of hope that said life can be a lot like snort.

That gray,

Sloppy combination of snow and dirt that happens near the end of winter.

What I mean is that the metaphors and similes I use tend to be things I'm familiar with,

Surrounded by.

Someone else in a different setting will have a different store of metaphors.

Now,

You might think that only writers use simile and metaphors,

But even though my father had difficulty understanding his patients use of a simile,

I bet he still had similes and metaphors in his life because we all do unknowingly often.

Ever heard the phrase time is money?

That's a metaphor.

And why it's important is that that image affects our language choices.

We spend time.

We lose time.

We waste time.

This is the point I'm trying to get to.

The metaphors we choose,

Whether we are living them knowingly or not.

The metaphors we choose impact,

Shape,

Change,

Influence how we move through the world.

Because you see,

Metaphors and similes have an emotional energy to them.

Imagine you are on a date and the other person says to you,

You are as interesting as a spreadsheet.

Wow,

Who wouldn't want to hear that one?

Now,

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with spreadsheets,

But there's a certain particular emotional energy associated with spreadsheets.

And I don't know if many of us would want our personalities described that way.

Maybe we would.

But I personally would prefer to think of a metaphor that comes from a line that the poet Pablo Neruda uses.

He wrote,

I want to do with you what spring does to the cherry trees.

And what does spring do to the cherry trees?

It makes them blossom.

It makes them burst open with beauty and this tantalizing scent.

That's the kind of metaphor I would like to hear from someone I'm on a date with.

And do you see the different emotional energy present?

See how vivid and concrete images can be.

And what would your day be like if you lived your day as a spreadsheet or as a cherry tree ready to blossom?

And that's the question I would like you to consider.

What metaphor are you living?

That might be a really hard question to answer.

I can tell you in my own life for a while,

I was living in the victim or woe is me metaphor.

If only people knew how bad it was.

Now to be fair,

It was bad.

But I let myself drown in that narrative,

That metaphor.

But I didn't like being there.

And it was in that space that I decided to change my metaphors.

And that's when I started a hit of hope.

To go all biblical for a second,

I made the choice to quit being a victim and instead be a voice.

Crying out in the wilderness of life that there is hope even in the shittiest shit.

There is hope.

What metaphor are you living is one question.

But maybe the more important question is what metaphor do you want to be living?

Warrior,

Teacher,

Servant,

Creator,

Provider,

Uplifter.

If you've been Eeyore or Piglet,

What happens if you try on the character of Pooh?

Seeing the world with delight and wonder.

Now I know this is not easy.

The metaphors we've been living crawl down deep inside.

So maybe the work is to try and become aware of them.

And then to ask,

Do our metaphors lead us to live in ways we want to live?

Do we live in courage or fear?

Do our metaphors invite us to see what is wrong or to pursue what is right?

Do our metaphors bring life and light or do they pull us down into the coldest dark?

Do our metaphors give us agency and power or do they leave us feeling helpless?

Do our metaphors bring connection or isolation?

If we can choose our metaphors wisely,

We can bring vividness and energy and uniqueness into our lives.

And yeah,

There might be days when we are a spreadsheet.

But oh,

What might our days look like if we can burst open with life just like a cherry tree?

Inhale.

Exhale.

Live light,

Y'all.

Reviews

When I was 17, an 19 year old boyfriend broke up with me, telling a pal, I had the 'personality of a gopher'. This bothered me for sooooo long, till I met him again when I was a grown-up/confident woman, and saw that he was the loser gopher...

An intriguing and interesting story, leading to me to understand how I personally present myself. Do I want to present myself as I have? Is this working for me? Changing the way we view ourselves by the words we use to describe ourselves is truly empowering. This talk is one that I’ll use repeatedly, to gain a better perspective of who I think I am and who I think I want to be, to eventually who I am. Thank you kindly. ✨⭐️✨⭐️✨

Lololol at the literal interpretation by father.

Really appreciate the reminders to inhale and exhale at such appropriate timing during these talks.

Drawn to a Betsy Johnson binge while feeling restless today. I especially appreciate the thoughtful subject, dry humor, honest content, and genuine humanity.

Powerful "English class" on similes, metaphors, and language. Wow.

Live Light. You have given me something to ponder the day after the Capital was stormed and two weeks after a bomber blew up my downtown. I am so heavy. Live light. That was why I chose to listen to a hit of hope this morning. Thank you. This was wonderful as always.

Omg. You’re and English teacher. That’s why I’m so drawn to you. I became an actress so that I could speak the words of amazing hearts like you. I’m a cherry tree living in a fucking spreadsheet. Time to rip that fucker up. Betsy, you rock my mornings.

Wonderful! I'm into my most difficult time of year because I hate being cold and I live in South Dakota. It's a problem, lol. I do believe I will be referring to this podcast a lot this winter, when my whole life feels like snert! Maybe I can shoot for some cherry blossoms this time around. I need to keep focus on the uplifting as I struggle to change my circumstances. With enough life and energy, maybe just maybe I can accomplish enough to get out of the snert before next winter. I think I'm rambling, hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to express. Namaste 🙏