Take a deep inhale.
Release it.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope,
And this one is a bit salty.
An article I was recently reading talked about the word prajna,
Which I learned means the ways in which we discern or see the way things are.
But the thing about prajna is apparently it can mean that which allows us to see purely and that which makes us see impurely.
So the same word means opposite things.
There are some of these words around and they are called contranims.
The contranim most of us might be familiar with is cleave,
And cleave can mean to cut apart or bind together.
Same word,
Opposite meanings.
To dust is another.
If you dust something with sugar,
That is very different than dusting a table.
One means to add,
The other means to remove.
Or to screen can mean to protect and conceal,
And it can also mean to show and broadcast.
How is one to know which meaning is appropriate?
As with so many things,
It all depends on context.
The same is true for another word that can mean opposite things in our life,
And that word is attachment.
If you've ever taken a psychology class,
You might have learned about Mary Ainsworth's attachment styles.
Secure,
Insecure,
And insecure,
Ambivalent,
Resistant.
Her theory argues that how kids feel about themselves and then form relationships with others is based on the early interactions with the mother.
Why is it always about the mother?
Ainsworth's theory says that if the child felt a healthy attachment to their mother,
Then they feel more secure,
Heading out into the world.
If there was an uncertain attachment,
Then the child is more insecure,
Ambivalent,
Or even resistant as they later enter into relationships with others.
So,
In this case,
A good attachment with a loved one is foundational for a healthy life.
But Buddhism argues that attachment is one of the things that can cause you suffering.
If you are attached to getting the right job,
To finding the perfect love,
To having everything have to be perfect,
To trying to be in control all the time,
To your idea that you have to succeed in order to be worthy of love,
Being attached to a woe is me narrative.
If you are attached to those kinds of things,
You suffer.
Because things rarely turn out as we plan,
And if we hold on too tightly or become too attached to the outcomes in our lives,
Then we suffer because those outcomes are often out of our control.
So,
Is attachment good or does it bring suffering?
Yes.
Does this kind of shit make your brain hurt?
Mine too.
But,
To help us determine if attachment is good or destined to bring out suffering,
We can go back to that idea of prajna.
So,
Prajna asks you to see what in your life makes you feel pure.
What in your life makes you feel defiled?
Now,
Obviously pure and defiled are very loaded words,
But let's think about it this way.
At one end of a scale,
Imagine the calmest and purest body of water you can.
It is so still and so clear,
You can see into its mysterious and wondrous depths.
At the other end,
Imagine a muddy,
Turbulent,
Raging river all swirled up and crashing through the world,
Dragging dead trees and cows with it.
Do you want dead trees crashing and cows thrashing around in your spirit?
Probably not.
But seriously,
We know,
We know what makes us feel better,
Lighter,
Easier inside,
And what does not.
Does that mean it's always easy to make the choice that helps us feel better?
Fuck no.
Because we are human,
Because we are affected by all kinds of things,
Not the least of which is how our parents parented us,
Who were affected about how their parents parented them,
And so on and so on.
So,
We sit.
We breathe.
We see.
What are the things that serve us,
That help us to live lightly?
What are the things that drag us under?
We sit.
We breathe.
We choose.
Maybe we fuck up.
We suffer.
We sit.
We breathe.
We choose again and again.
Maybe,
Hopefully,
Growing toward the light.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Namaste.
