In this meditation,
I'm going to invite you to use your imagination in the story of Jesus' first meeting with the disciples after his death and resurrection.
As you prepare to enter this story,
I invite you to take a few deep breaths.
Notice the air as it goes through your nose,
Your windpipes,
And into your lungs.
Notice how you feel as you begin this time of contemplation.
What do you notice in your body?
Where do you feel tension,
Pressure,
Or stress?
Inhale even more deeply than you have yet today,
And exhale all the way out.
This story comes from John 20,
19-23.
On the evening of that first day of the week,
When the disciples were together with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders,
Jesus came and stood among them and said,
Peace be with you.
After he said this,
He showed them his hands and side.
The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.
Again,
Jesus said,
Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me,
I am sending you.
And with that,
He breathed on them and said,
Receive the Holy Spirit.
If you forgive anyone's sins,
Their sins are forgiven.
I'm going to read the beginning again slowly,
And we'll walk through it together.
On the evening of that first day of the week,
When the disciples were together with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders,
Pause for a moment and imagine what you might feel in the disciples' shoes.
In that locked room,
A few days after Jesus was killed,
Perhaps they're scared,
Anxious,
Or ashamed.
What refrains might be going through their minds?
We left him.
We abandoned him.
Now some of the women are saying he's alive.
Is he going to show up to us?
What's he going to say to us?
Inhale,
Exhale.
I imagine Peter in the back of the room,
Face and his hands downtrodden.
John is the most optimistic in the room,
Trusting,
Awaiting Jesus' arrival.
Perhaps he's reminding them of what Jesus said.
The rest are arguing.
There's tension in the room.
The disciples had varying responses to Jesus' arrest,
And most of them left their friend.
I wonder what kind of social division existed among the disciples in that room.
These disciples with their different educational and social backgrounds,
Fishermen and tax collectors,
And the Jewish community are all in the same boat.
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Something unimaginable.
The Pharisees who critiqued Jesus,
Who is this that forgives sins?
Only God can forgive sins.
Not anymore.
These terrified,
Hiding,
Unsure,
Yet Holy Spirit filled disciples,
They can forgive sins.
And now go and forgive.
Forgiving others is the first outward invitation.
No,
The first command we are given as followers of the resurrected Jesus.
It is not yet to share resources or even to share about Jesus' resurrection.
We are invited to receive resurrected breath and forgive others right now where we are.
Inhale resurrected breath.
You are worthy.
I invite you now to imagine yourself in that room.
Where are you sitting?
The doors locked for fear of the Jews.
Jesus came and stood among them.
How do you feel as Jesus enters the room?
When you're ready,
Take a moment to consider who you are bearing resentment against.
What does that resentment look like in you?
Where do you carry it in your body?
Are you willing to release your grip and let go of this resentment?
Remembering that forgiveness doesn't mean what someone else did was okay,
But it's letting them go.
Giving it over to Jesus.
Imagine that person or community in the room with you.
Bringing them to this resurrected Christ.
How does he see them?
Are you willing to receive his resurrected breath?
To be empowered with his breath?
To let go of judgment and extend a deeper level of forgiveness?
To the capacity you have in this moment,
I invite you to offer forgiveness to that person or community.
Inhale.
Exhale.
We are so familiar with the concept of forgiveness,
Yet we often live as disembodied people with so much division and discord.
Even as I consider the discord,
I confess that I judge those who foster division.
In especially Protestant Christianity,
The power of forgiveness and ability to forgive sins seems to have been taken for granted and not practiced in our divided world.
Imagine for a moment with me if Christians practiced forgiveness of others and ourselves.
Healing and transformation starts with forgiveness.
In this divided,
Hurting world,
May we be people of lament,
Of peace and forgiveness.
Receiving forgiveness and extending it to others.
May we open ourselves in new ways to the resurrected breath of the risen Christ.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Deep grace and shalom to you.
