In this meditation,
I'm going to invite you to engage with a movement from shame to embrace.
I will share a bit about what this means and then lead you in an imaginative prayer exercise combined with welcoming prayer.
This exercise will invite you to recall the feeling of shame in your body.
So if you're not in a safe place or seasoned to do that,
Consider waiting until you are ready.
In my book,
From Burned Out to Beloved,
I have a chapter called Moving from Shame to Self-Empathy.
I write,
Sometimes we are ashamed when we feel anxious or fearful.
We forget that change takes time.
We get upset when we continue the same behavior,
Often not noticing our growth and the fact that our growth is spiraling,
Going deeper into our true selves.
Growth can involve relapsing and making mistakes.
Shame turns relapse into a spiral downward instead of a journey inward and upward.
End of quote.
If we don't believe we are worth care,
We can't offer ourselves the care we need.
When we are trying to change our behavior,
Shame can block us and make it hard to even hope for change.
We might blame ourselves for our exhaustion or burning out instead of the situational stressors that might lead to burnout.
I invite you to pause now to notice your inhale and your exhale,
Perhaps elongating your breath,
Breathing in even more fully and exhaling all the way out.
I invite you to consider a recent small mistake you made.
If nothing specific comes to mind,
That's okay.
Just consider now,
How did you feel about yourself or how do you feel about yourself when you make mistakes?
If you feel shame,
Where do you feel shame in your body?
How do you respond to shame?
What narrative did you tell yourself in that moment or do you tell yourself when you make mistakes about your self-worth?
Instead of rejecting or denying our anxiety and shame,
One way forward is to let ourselves feel and accept our emotions.
Welcoming prayer is a practice that invites us to pause in the moment,
Notice how we are feeling,
Welcome God with us in it,
And let go of the desire for our primary human needs,
Security,
Affection,
And control.
Inviting God to meet us in our emotional spirals helps us to extend self-empathy and compassion.
Yet I would also add that inviting God into our shame puts us in a posture to receive God's embrace.
The antidote to shame is intimacy.
We need to move from shame to embrace.
We need the embrace of God and we need the embrace of others.
Ignatian spiritual exercises guide Dale Gish writes,
When we enter the shame spiral,
We are invited to choose a different movement,
One that turns us toward God,
That quenches our shame and love.
This movement moves us toward freedom out of bondage and into a deeper relationship with God.
This is not an easy movement.
The shame spiral is likely a well-worn path in your psyche,
But with God there is freedom.
The biblical son is a guide in this movement.
Instead of wallowing in the mud of shame,
He gets up,
Returns to his father,
And is received with a loving embrace.
In the moment of shame,
We can turn and allow ourselves to be embraced.
Instead of flitting around like a hummingbird from branch to branch,
From self-judgment to judgment,
Or wallowing in the pit of shame,
We can pause,
Settle ourselves,
Be still,
And receive.
I'm going to lead you now through a prayerful imaginative exercise combined with welcoming prayer.
Once again,
I invite you to notice your breath,
Inhaling and exhaling.
As you slow your body down,
Perhaps rest your feet firmly on the ground and place your hands open on your lap.
With love and curiosity,
I invite you to recall to mind that feeling of shame.
Where do you feel it in your body?
What sensations do you notice?
Where do you feel tension or constriction?
Where do you feel heaviness?
Now consider a place that is restful for you,
That brings you joy.
Imagine that you are there.
Imagine that you are there.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
What do you smell?
What sensations do you feel?
As it feels right to you,
Invite God to come and meet with you there.
Welcome God with you in whatever you are feeling.
Maybe new emotions have arisen now that God is with you.
Notice what you are feeling with grace and compassion toward yourself and welcome those emotions within you.
Perhaps share what you are feeling with God.
When you are ready,
Invite God's love in your emotion,
In your feeling,
In your body.
How does God respond?
When you are ready,
Release your desires into God's hands by saying the following sentences.
I let go of the desire for security,
Affection,
And control.
I let go of the desire to change what I am experiencing.
I embrace this moment as it is.
Allow yourself to be embraced.
If it feels hard to imagine God,
Let alone God's embrace.
Offer yourself grace.
Perhaps imagine yourself being embraced by love.
When you are ready,
Close by talking with God,
Perhaps in your meditation or through journaling.
Next time you feel shame arise in your body,
Consider pausing and inviting God to come and be with you in it.
I will continue the music so allow yourself to engage with this practice for as long as you need.
Grace and peace to you in this journey,
In this movement from shame to embrace.
