What does it look like to follow the resurrected Christ,
A peacemaker,
A bringer of wholeness,
The prince of wholeness,
In the midst of this world ransacked by violence,
Suffering,
And division?
To follow Christ in our own ongoing brokenness and struggles?
The Gospel of John tells us that on the third day after Jesus' death,
Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene in the garden,
And then later to his disciples in a locked upper room.
In this meditation,
I'm going to invite you to enter the first of these resurrection stories with your imagination.
Ignatian spirituality emphasizes that our imagination is a gift from God,
A gift we can use in prayer to encounter God and know ourselves more deeply.
This doesn't always come easy to many of us,
Yet we enter into the playfulness of a child in the posture of improv,
Saying yes to the ideas that arrive in our imagination as we invite God to guide our imagination.
Before we do,
We turn first to the gaze of love,
Our dwelling place.
As Anthony DeMello writes,
Behold the beholder,
Beholding you and smiling.
So start in that place,
Perhaps taking a deep breath in right now,
Arriving,
Allowing yourself to be beheld in love,
And beholding the beholder.
As you breathe in,
I invite you to imagine you are breathing in love,
And exhaling anything you need to let go of right now.
Let's do that a few more times.
Imagine breathing in love,
Filling your nostrils,
Your lungs,
Your belly.
Imagine that oxygen,
That love,
Spreading throughout your body.
And as you exhale,
Pushing that breath out with your mouth,
Perhaps noticing where you're standing or sitting or lying,
And imagine God gazing at you with love.
Behold the beholder,
Beholding you and smiling.
When you are ready,
I invite you to engage with the story of Jesus appearing to Mary.
I'm going to read it in the First Nations version from John 20,
11-18.
We find Mary returning to the garden where Jesus is buried,
Having left the disciples in the upper room.
As I read it,
I invite you to imagine Mary in the garden near the tomb.
What do you see,
Smell,
Hear?
Where are you in the garden?
Picture that garden,
Arriving there with all of your senses.
What is the light like?
The air,
The breeze?
We're told it's early in the morning,
Before the sun has risen.
John 20,
11 starts by reading,
Her heart was on the ground as she stood outside the cave weeping.
As the tears ran down her face,
She looked inside.
There she saw two spear messengers dressed in white.
They were sitting,
One at the head,
The other at the feet,
Of where the body of Cretor sets free Jesus had once lain.
They looked at her and said,
Honored woman,
Why do you weep?
My wisdom keeper is gone,
She answered,
And I do not know where they have taken him.
She turned around to see a man standing behind her.
It was Jesus,
But she did not recognize him.
Honored woman,
Why the tears?
He said to her,
Who are you looking for?
She thought he was the keeper of the garden.
So she said,
If you have carried him away,
Tell me where,
And I will find him.
Strong tears,
Mary,
He said to her in a soft and kind voice.
She looked at him,
And her eyes grew wide.
Then she hugged him close and whispered in his ear in her native language,
Rabbonai,
She said,
Meaning wisdom keeper.
You must let me go,
He said back to her.
I have not yet gone up to the Father.
Go to my brothers,
Who walked the road with me,
And say to them,
I am going up to my Father and your Father,
To the One who is the Great Spirit and Father of us all.
Cretor sets free,
Jesus had chosen to show himself first to a woman.
Strong tears,
Mary,
From Cretor's high lodge,
Or Magdala,
The one he had set free from seven evil spirits.
Mary then went and found the followers of Jesus and said,
I have seen our wisdom keeper.
She then told them everything she had heard from him.
I'm going to read through it again slowly with a bit more of my own description.
Invite a picture,
Imagine Mary weeping outside of the tomb.
At some point,
She decides to look in.
She's prepared to tend to his body.
Perhaps she has some supplies with her.
And as she looks in,
He's not only gone,
But there are two white-robed angels present,
Or spirit messengers.
Imagine what she feels when she sees the angels,
Sitting where they had lain Jesus.
She must not realize at first that they are angels,
As she's grieving the loss not only of Jesus in her life,
But that someone has stolen his body.
Her head and heart are downturned.
But you notice what sensations you feel in your own body.
She turns to leave,
Not feeling comforted at all by their presence.
I imagine her eyes adjusting to the sunlight and seeing a figure silhouetted by the sun.
Again,
The same question.
Why are you crying?
Imagine how you might feel,
Exasperated,
Frustrated,
Overwhelmed,
Exhausted.
Begging for answers,
She's desperate to know where Jesus is.
Then her name,
Mary.
I imagine her falling to his feet.
Teach her!
Overwhelming grief turns into overwhelming wonder.
Perhaps Jesus gently invites her to stand,
Embraces her,
With tears now of relief,
Shock,
And joy.
Maybe he walks with her out of the tomb,
With his arms around her shoulders.
Maybe she sputters her confusion and thoughts from the previous days.
Jesus reclined gently.
Yes,
It was terrible,
Wasn't it?
Yes,
It's as I told you.
Yes,
You believe now.
And yes,
Go and tell my disciples.
I want them to hear it from you.
Consider why Jesus appears to Mary first,
And not the disciples.
Were their heads downturned in shame from abandoning him?
Maybe Jesus wanted to honor Mary and the other women who boldly stuck with him and didn't fear the authorities.
Maybe he wanted the disciples to believe the women,
To enfold them in their circle as equals in the new kingdom.
Here,
One of Jesus' first acts of resurrection is to empower the voices of women.
To say,
You are worth it.
You are worth being hearers,
Carriers,
And announcers of the good news.
People listen.
Then later,
Jesus reprimands the men for not listening.
That's where Jesus starts in the resurrected new life.
Jesus empowers the disempowered,
Gives voice to the voiceless.
However you identify,
I invite you to turn to the Wisdom Keeper,
To hear him say your name.
Is there a name you've given yourself?
What is your true name?
How does it feel to be seen,
To be named by one who sees you and names you in love?
By the one who sees you and names you in love.
Notice what sensations you feel in your body as you recall being seen and named by love.
And perhaps now,
Envisioning that.
To be truly seen in the ways,
Perhaps,
That you have discounted your own voice,
Your own contribution,
Your own ideas,
To be empowered and sent out,
You are worthy of carrying this incredible message.
As you inhale,
And your next breath in,
I invite you to connect to the word,
I am worthy of being seen and named.
I am worthy of being seen and named.
Perhaps as you exhale,
I am worth being empowered and sent out.
I am worthy of being seen as you inhale.
I am worth being empowered and sent out as you exhale.
Noticing how that feels.
Listening,
Perhaps,
For your true name.
As you live into this Easter season,
Or whatever time and season you are listening to this,
May you hear your true name,
Deep within you,
Inhaling and exhaling deep grace and shalom to you.
