Hi,
My name is Bethany Dearborn-Heiser and I'm going to be leading you through the Ignatian practice of entering a gospel story with our imagination.
The story we are going to reflect on happens a week or more after Jesus' second appearance to the disciples in the upper room.
This time it's on a beach while the disciples are fishing.
I'd like you to use your senses as you enter this story and to engage with Jesus in conversation.
As we begin,
I invite you to notice your breath,
Inhaling and exhaling.
Notice how you feel as you begin this meditation.
Perhaps extend gratitude toward yourself for making this time.
And when you're ready and if you're able,
Just maybe take your hands and rub them together for a moment.
And then pause and feel that warmth that you created.
And again,
Maybe even then placing those hands on your heart or your belly.
Just noticing your breath,
Expanding your chest,
Your belly.
And breathing all the way out.
Notice what emotions you feel as you breathe and what other sensations arise.
Do you feel tingly,
Lightheaded?
Maybe even placing your feet on the ground,
Noticing the sensation of your body in the chair.
These practices can help bring us back to a sense of awareness when we feel numb.
And maybe even right now you feel,
I still feel numb.
I can't tell what I'm feeling and that's okay.
And maybe pausing,
You feel teary and you're not sure why.
And just welcome that emotion,
Knowing that our bodies communicate.
Maybe tears need to come up and the space gives permission for your body to let those sensations arise.
Maybe you feel uncomfortable,
Physically uncomfortable,
Just sitting.
And just maybe move your body in a way that feels right if you need to.
Rotate your head gently,
Your neck.
And just welcome God with you and your feelings and your emotions.
And your sensations.
And just be aware of what's going on in your body.
And just be aware of what's going on in your body.
And just be aware of what's going on in your body.
And just be aware of what's going on in your body.
And feeling.
Returning to fishing.
Maybe they hadn't fished in three years.
Maybe they had,
We don't really know.
But what might they have felt?
Jesus has told them to wait.
And Jerusalem,
That there's something or someone or something happening going to come.
And they return to fishing,
Something that they know.
And they're feeling confused,
Exasperated,
Just kind of bewildered by the past events.
These seven men,
They go out and get in their boat and they fish all night.
So just picture those men in the boat at night.
What sounds do you hear?
Maybe the waves,
The wind.
What's the conversation like?
The feeling in the air.
Do you imagine yourself as one of the disciples or are you there as yourself?
Where are you sitting?
Now picture the sun starting to rise,
Some warmth on your cheeks perhaps.
Perhaps the men are rubbing their hands together to get warm.
Feeling hungry and disappointed at not catching fish all night.
Where do you feel disappointment in your body?
What crumbling do you hear among the disciples?
Nothing is going well,
They can't even catch fish.
What's the mood like?
The story continues that when the sun came up,
Jesus was standing on the beach,
But they didn't recognize him.
Now imagine looking over and seeing someone at the beach.
The story says Jesus spoke to them,
Good morning,
Did you catch anything for breakfast?
They answered no.
He said throw the net off the right side of the boat and see what happens.
They did what he said,
Not knowing who he is,
And all of a sudden there were so many fish in it that they weren't strong enough to pull it in.
And the disciple Jesus loved said to Peter,
It's the master.
What do you imagine feeling?
The story continues,
When Simon Peter realized that it was Jesus,
He threw on some clothes for he was stripped for work and dove into the sea.
The other disciples came in by boat for they weren't far from land,
A hundred yards or so,
Pulling along the net full of fish.
When they got out of the boat they saw a fire laid with fish and bread cooking on it.
What do you smell?
Or hear?
Jesus said bring some of the fish you've just caught.
Simon Peter joined them and they pulled the net to shore,
153 big fish.
And even with all those fish the net didn't rip.
Imagine Jesus and the disciples counting the fish.
The disciples astounded.
Is it quiet as they count?
Or are they laughing and joking as they count the fish?
Resurrected Jesus takes time to count the fish with the disciples,
His friends.
Jesus says breakfast is ready.
Not one of the disciples dared ask,
Who are you?
They knew it was the master.
Jesus then took the bread and gave it to them.
He did the same with the fish.
This was now the third time Jesus had shown himself alive to the disciples since being raised from the dead.
How do you imagine feeling receiving this bread,
This fish?
Imagine for the disciples they remembered Jesus taking the bread and giving it to them before his death.
What emotions might be pulsing through the disciples?
Is there anything you need to express to Jesus?
After breakfast Jesus takes Peter aside and asks him the well-known questions about his love.
But before he sends them out,
Before he tells Peter that the way to show his love of God is through feeding others,
He provides for them.
He says come and eat breakfast.
Come you who are hungry,
Perhaps weary,
Exhausted,
Confused,
Bewildered.
Come,
I've cooked breakfast for you.
He invites them to witness his abundance.
There's more than enough.
Fish,
There's more than enough in God's kingdom.
He invites them to be provided for and to be nourished.
I wonder if Jesus is communicating that it's not just up to us to provide and feed and care for others.
Jesus also wants to nourish and tend and equip us to care for others.
So imagine that Jesus takes you aside and you sit by the water.
Your stomach is full with fish and bread.
Are there any expectations that Jesus was going to do something he hasn't,
That you feel disappointed by or angry about?
Any confusions?
Is there any question that Jesus has for you?
Take some time to sit with Jesus to discuss these things together.
To reflect on how Jesus might be wanting to nourish you in this season.
For our act of love,
We need to receive God's act of love toward us.
Sometimes we act as though our needs aren't important.
We seek to take care of others.
Yet Jesus invites us to slow down,
To receive from him,
To be grounded in our true identities.
It is from that place that we are then better equipped to love and feed others.
Abundant grace and nourishment to you.
Feel free to sit in this space for as long as you feel led and close the time when you are ready.
